Chapter 35 #2
Knowing what I was to him, I understood that he was exerting a great deal of effort to give me the independence I demanded. Did that win him any bonus points? No. Instead, I scoffed at the pet name, then blew out a breath. Some things weren’t worth my energy.
Everything afterward happened in a blur.
He stood with me while I gave my statement, spoke with several people who came and went.
At some point, we were free to go. We drove back to his place in absolute silence.
He opened his mouth several times, then shut it, shaking his head.
I didn’t care. Whatever he wanted to say, he could keep it to himself.
Mates?!
I thought back through everything in greater detail, trying to figure out what had happened. Maybe I’d been blind. Maybe I should have put the pieces together and come to this conclusion. In hindsight, it was all there, in bold lettering.
My fingers clenched and unclenched between my thighs, where I’d wedged them to keep them still.
How long had he known? This entire time?
Since spotting me in the coffee shop? I bet he’d had a nice laugh about it, knowing we were tied together in some way, and knowing what it meant for him—that he’d be tethered to me, a human, part of the race he hated so much for what they’d done to him.
When we entered his house, I rushed to my room, closing the door.
I refused to cry. Not here. Not where he could smell it.
So instead, I threw my things together, filling my suitcase.
I was too incensed to check if I’d packed everything, but fuck it.
Part of me thought this wouldn’t be forever, the other part, the frightened part, didn’t want to face any of this ever.
I emerged into the main part of the house.
“I packed up Teddy’s things already,” he said, his voice flat. His eyes darted over me, searching. When I passed him, I noticed the way his hand lifted to reach for me before clenching into a fist and dropping.
I ignored it.
He stopped in the doorway to the garage, Teddy’s cat carrier in his hand. “Baby girl, isn’t, can’t…can’t we just talk about this? I’m sorry. I should have told—”
“No!” I rounded on him, holding up a hand. “I told you I didn’t want to discuss this right now, and I don’t. I need… Fuck! I don’t even know what I need, except that I need to be away from you right now.”
"And you think I'll let you go so easily?
" His voice pitched low, some of the goblin bleeding through as his eyes blackened.
Then he froze, horror flashing across his features, like he realized what he'd just said.
His eyes shifted back to green. "Fuck. Elle, I didn't mean—that's not—" He ran a hand through his hair looking stricken.
"I'm sorry. That's not who I want to be. "
“Good.” My shoulders relaxed.
He gave a stiff nod and deposited Teddy in the back seat before climbing into his truck.
I shot Vivi a quick series of texts on our way back into the city. When he parallel parked, she was already at the apartment, standing outside on the sidewalk. Bastian reached for the door.
“No,” I said. “I’ve got it. Vivi will help. You don’t need to get out.”
His expression faltered. It was brief, but I saw the pain there, the uncertainty.
A spear of guilt shot straight for my heart, but I ignored it.
I was resolved in this. Bastian had kept something monumental from me, something I deserved to know.
The professor Miller incident was one thing, but this?
I opened the door without another look, grabbed my suitcase, and passed it off to Vivi. Then I got Teddy’s things, gave Bastian a final resigned look, and slammed the door to his truck.
Vivi’s own things were waiting in the atrium. She didn’t have the new key to our apartment, so she followed me up, carrying Teddy’s things and a few of her own. We managed to get everything into the elevator with minimal words.
I unlocked the door.
The apartment was flawless. My insides squeezed. The last time I'd been here, days ago, was with Bastian. I looked at the television he'd fixed, remembering how I'd watched him work, unable to pull my gaze away. The memory brought tears to my eyes. I was losing it, seconds from imploding.
As soon as I stepped inside and set my things down, I crumpled to the floor, sobbing.
Most of it was because of Bastian’s dishonesty, but not all of it.
Some of it came from my drained adrenaline, from Luke’s manhandling, from the fear I’d felt when he’d had his fingers wrapped around my throat, from the blade that had been moments from slicing my neck wide open.
It all crashed down in a torrent of tears.
“Oh, Elle!” Vivi dropped her things and came to her knees beside me, wrapping me in her arms. We’d been in a similar position two years ago, when she’d brought me home from the hospital. When I’d cried for hours on end, and we’d curled up in her bed to watch sitcom reruns.
“He—he lied to me,” I managed between gasps. “I thought… I’m just… Why would he do that?!”
She made shushing sounds and rocked me back and forth, letting me cry, offering low, comforting words.
Meowwwww.
Teddy made his presence known. Vivi crawled away and let him out of his carrier, before coming back and pulling me into her arms again. He darted off to scope out his new territory.
I loved Vivi. It was hard to imagine what my life would be like without her friendship. She’d seen me at my worst over the past few years, knew me better than anyone. We were sisters in everything but blood.
Ever so slowly, my crying slowed. When I could speak, I managed to tell her the whole story. She’d known some of it from our phone calls, but I gave her greater details, especially where Bastian was concerned.
“Damn,” she whispered. “Mates? Really?”
I nodded.
“And you’re sure it’s like that possessive alpha-hole mates shit, that super hot kind? Like, bend you over the table and claim you kind?”
My stomach lurched because that’s exactly what he’d done. “Yes,” I managed. “He didn’t say it explicitly, but looking back, I’d be stupid to believe otherwise.”
“And that asshole didn’t say a word?!”
“Not a peep,” I groused.
“Well, fuck him!”
“Exactly,” I said, a weak smile pulling at my lips. “Fuck him.”
She sighed. “What are you going to do? Kick him to the curb? You know I’ve got your back no matter what you decide.”
“I don’t knowww,” I whined, covering my face with my hands, squeezing my eyes tight.
“He lied to me, Vivi. I mean, he kept this from me, but that’s practically the same as lying.
But I… Fuck. I’m so conflicted. He’s nothing like Luke.
He’s never physically or mentally hurt me.
He’s never made me question my worth. He’s never played mind games.
It’s the opposite, actually. He makes me feel so fucking beautiful, stares at me all the time.
I mean, he cooks me freaking pancakes and plies me with thousand-dollar bottles of wine. ”
“Okay, if you don’t want him, I’ll take your leftovers,” she teased.
I groaned and bumped her with my shoulder. “Too soon. Not funny.”
“I know, I know. Sorry. It sounds like you need to think about what you really want. I can’t tell you what to do. Not with this.”
“I know,” I whispered. She was right.
What did I want? I’d known him just under two weeks and I was already falling for him. Falling hard. Was that because we were mates?
“What if this is one of those mate things where I’m not allowed to be with anyone else, like…
ever? Like, what if I won’t be able to love anyone else?
What if I’m forced to be with him,” I managed.
“When I was with Luke, I was trapped. I… I’m afraid, Vivi.
I don’t want to feel trapped like that again.
Maybe that’s why I ran tonight. Why I wouldn’t let him explain. ”
“Girl, Luke Portman fucked you over. That kind of shit doesn’t just go away immediately. You gotta work for it. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid of things that happened in your past.”
I sighed. “I think I just need time to think about all this.”
“That’s probably a good idea,” she said. “And I’m always here to bounce ideas around.” She hesitated, then said, “You know what you need?”
“Hmm?”
“A girls night. We’re canceling work, life, everything. We’re getting our girls together, no excuses.”
I managed a watery chuckle. “Maybe that’s exactly what I need.”
“But for now,” she amended, “you need your bed, and a good Teddy cuddle. I was going to steal him tonight, but you need him more than I do.”
I smiled, my first genuine smile since the start of this entire discussion. “Have I told you how much I love you, Vivs?”
“Yep. But you’re always welcome to say it again.” Her eyes crinkled as she smiled. “And for the record, I love you too.”
We hugged. Then I stood and grabbed my things, heading down the hall and disappearing into my room.
I tried not to think about the bed. Tried not to think about what I’d done on it the last time I’d been here.
Instead, I went about my bedtime routine, put some of my things away, found Teddy, and collapsed beneath the sheets.