CHAPTER 12
Kaelith paced around the room worked up. He regretted it. How could he be so blinded by his desires and anger that he hurt her? Again. Kaelith felt like he just ripped his own heart apart. He shredded it in millions of pieces and each piece was now piercing his skin.
He ran his hand through his hair sighing loudly as his eyes moved to Amara. She was asleep, after crying and screaming for more than an hour. He didn’t know what triggered her panic, but he knew he was the one to blame. With a heavy heart, he averted his eyes from her and walked to the window.
Looking up at the night sky, he wondered what could have happened to Amara for her to be so scared and anxious.
Rafael hadn’t told him anything, he just said she was in an accident, and at that moment too Kaelith felt like dying.
But now he knew there was more than it looked.
There was no way she’d have nightmares—same nightmares—and the words she repeated.
Pulling out his phone he dialed the only number who could answer him. The call connected and Kaelith waited but there was no answer. After three more tries, Kaelith cursed and looked at Amara. He wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight after happened and not before knowing what truly happened.
He tried Rafael’s number one more time, and luckily, he picked up. Kaelith exited the room and walked down the hallway.
"Where the fuck are you, Rafael?" Kaelith growled. His patience ran thin as he sprinted down the stairs. His fingers clenched tight on the device as he picked the keys from the cabinet and opened the doors.
"On my way." Kaelith halted. His brows narrowed. Despite everything that happened in the past, he couldn't avoid Rafael. If life had taught him anything, it was to love their close ones without any regret.
Kaelith asked suspiciously.
"To where? You weren't even picking up your phone." Rafael sped his car through the forest. "I have something to tell you." His voice was curt. Kaelith sensed tension.
"Meet me at the cliff in ten." Kaelith frowned before he heard a beep.
*******
Rafael's pov
Stars filled the sky like pale corn on the freshly turned ground.
It was the promise of life in the darkness, a sense of warmth springing from the cold strangely turning the blood in my veins fiery hot.
No matter the years that passed, I saw each night sky as a dark canvas where stars were neglected and the moon showed off his beauty egoistically.
I was like that moon – alone. I needed my night to shine, and she was my darkness.
It was the type of coldness that reached into my bones, as if my heart was a door left wide open to the icy wind, slamming only to open again.
The only thing I could do was stay still, numb.
The sky was a rolling blanket of clouds the color of wet ash, and the ground its dank reflection.
Each memory became a nightmare for me as I looked down the cliff.
I heard the crunching of leaves under heavy boots. Without looking back, I knew Kaelith was here. I knew what this place meant to us–it was the same place we faced our demons.
"Took you long," I said tilting my head to look up at the sky. How long was it since I looked at the sky this way?
"What is going on, Rafael?" Kaelith sensed the dilemma in my voice. If I could see a reflection of mine without a mirror, I would see it in his eyes. We both were the same in ways words couldn't describe.
"It's a lovely night, isn't it? Too dreamy. Almost as if stars are descending from heaven." Kaelith took a step forward. I was standing near the edge.
"What is it?" He kept his voice low. The silence of the night was deafening.
I could hear crickets chirping, the buzzing of insects, low humming of the cold breeze.
And in the distant part of my head, I could hear screams, shouts, cries and wails.
Her pleas. I could hear her sealed lips.
I could see what was lying behind her closed lids.
I could sense her even when she was not here.
"When I was a child, I was so afraid of the dark.
Father used to lock me in the basement, I would cry, scream, beg, but my wails were unheard.
" I took a sharp breath clenching my fists.
"I hated him." I let out a humorless chuckle shaking my head.
Turning my head to the right as my eyes met Kaelith's.
"But now I realized," I gulped. "It was not the darkness I was afraid of; it was fear of being alone, lonely. "
I bit the flesh on the inner side of my cheek. Emotions flooding. I didn't want to feel this way. How could I be this vulnerable? I was a man, and men weren't allowed to feel. That's what my father taught me. Then why did I want to crawl into someone's arms and cry my heart out?
"I don't want to feel this loneliness anymore, Kaelith." My voice raspier with emotions. "Rafael..." Kaelith mumbled feeling something wasn’t right.
“I know I was not a good brother to you, and I also know you loved Amara,” Rafael muttered slowly turning around. “I do not deserve her, Kaelith. I do not. But I just cannot do this.” Kaelith saw glistening unshed tears in his brother’s eyes.
Kaelith stiffened, his eyes narrowed infinitesimally. Taking one step forward, he darkly muttered,
“Do what? What happened to her, Rafael?” Kaelith commanded fisting his palms. Rafael chuckled without any amusement. Tilting his head back he looked up at the sky. His heart was full of emotions.
“You’ll hate me too, Kaelith— “
“FUCKING SAY IT!” Kaelith growled, his eyes fiery storms of grey and coal like the night sky. "Amara..." he stilled. And I realized probably this was a bad idea. Sucking my breath, I let the words out. "She was raped."
“What…” Kaelith thought this was some kind of joke, Amara, his Amara. The woman he loved since the moment he realized what her feelings were.
He scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re lying.”
“I wish I was.” Kaelith felt like his world colliding. All the universes merged into one giant black hole, sucking him into the darkness.
“I was stupid…I thought if I’d divorce her, she’d…leave me…” Rafael swallowed with misery.
“I was so selfish that I didn’t see how much she loved me…”
“What the fuck are you blabbering, you rascal?!” Kaelith stormed towards his brother grabbed him by the collar, he shook him.
“Father said if I marry Amara, he’d transfer the company’ s assets under my name.
Our marriage was destined, written in our fates, I couldn’t avoid it, so I decided to use it use her.
” Rafael bit his lips to keep himself from crying.
“I thought I could make her hate me. I thought if I had assets under my name, I would be able to divorce her. And that day when I….” He took another shaky breath.
“When I threw divorce papers on her face, she looked so breakable like I just crushed her soul with my hands. She begged, cried, and at that time I realized…I realized… her tears bothered me.”
“I thought it might be just pity, so I left the house and went to the bar. But when I wasn’t able to drown myself in alcohol, I decided to come back expecting Amara to leave by then but when…
” He sucked in sharp breaths as if the memories haunted him.
“Guards said she followed behind my car, and I found her bloodied on the private road of our mansion…”
“Her clothes were torn, there was blood all around, and….” His breathing quickened. “And—“ They lost it. Before he knew his fist was meeting Rafael’s jaw knocking him down on the ground. Kaelith mounted him as he shook him violently.
“YOU FUCKER! YOU MOTHERFUCKING BASTARD!” Kaelith rained punches at him while Rafael just kept still taking his brother’s anger.
“SHE WAS YOUR WIFE! SHE WAS YOUR FUCKING WIFE! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HER?!”
Wife. Yes. She was his wife. And what did he do? Destroyed her. Ruined her.