Chapter 16 Welcomed The Chaos
WELCOMED THE CHAOS
He should have watched his words more carefully.
But everything about the past twenty minutes was him trying to hold on to his control.
It was by a thread, and that wasn’t like him.
He never should have kissed her.
Not once.
Not twice either.
She was seeped into his blood now. Him wanting to give her more and more.
She was going to take it.
Clay always knew that a moment could spin him out of control, but for once he welcomed the chaos. He just never thought she’d be the one that would turn the dial for it to happen.
“Answer it,” he said. “But you might not like my response in return.”
She laughed. “You know, Clay. I’ve never had this kind of banter with a man before. I really like it. Even with your gruffness, I like it. It’s this need and drive to see what you’ll say next or if I can top you. I never thought I was competitive like that.”
“So it’s a game? That’s all it is or what you want?”
“I don’t play games,” she said, her voice dropping. “Regardless of what my dickhead ex keeps saying.”
He frowned. “You’re still talking to him?”
“I don’t want to,” she said. “I’m done now.” She tossed another apple in the bin. “This is more than enough.”
He picked the bin up and brought it to the back door of his house rather than around to the front and her SUV.
She was just following along. It wasn’t as if she had much of a choice.
“If you don’t want to, then why are you?”
“Because when I got home yesterday, his ex, the one he cheated on me with, had sent me a nasty letter. I thought it was him as it had some private things in it. I called to tell him to please stop. I was done with it.”
He didn’t like that she was still being bothered by this asshole.
“How do you know it wasn’t him?”
“Because he said it was Lana. And he admitted he’d told her what was written in the letter.”
“What was written?”
“Nothing major. It was calling me a mean, vindictive bitch. A few more things. There was an example of a date he and I had early on. He annoyed me and I put salt and pepper on his steak when he got up to go to the bathroom. He’d been saying it lacked seasoning and I didn’t want him to cause a scene.
I wasn’t trying to be mean; it was just so he wouldn’t complain. It’s not like I coated the thing.”
“Okay. So you added pepper.”
“It wasn’t even a lot. Just a few shakes. He even said it tasted good after I told him I did it. I admitted it. He didn’t say that I was vindictive then. But he’s the only person in my life that ever said that to me.”
“So that is why you thought the letter was from him?”
“It was reasonable to think it. But he said it was Lana.”
“Lana who?”
“Lana Ventura. That’s the coworker he slept with.” Clay walked over to get his laptop and lifted the lid, then typed her name in. “What are you doing?”
“Looking into her. I did your ex too. His record is clean.”
Her jaw dropped. “Why would you do that?”
“Because he’s been threatening you.”
“Not really,” she said. “I mean, I know what he did, but I don’t consider them threats.”
“Really, Meredith?” he asked. “Being revengeful is a threat, regardless.”
“I like the way you say my name.”
He turned to stare at her.
She had the uncanny ability to distract him.
Never a good thing.
“I see little on her.”
“How can you find anything on her?”
“Don’t worry about it,” he said.
He closed his laptop down.
“She’s mad because she ran her mouth about what I did to Fredrick. He was ticked and complained about it too. Somehow their bosses found out and moved her to another department.”
“How is that your fault?”
“Exactly,” she said. “I said the same thing. It’s like everything is my fault when I’m the one that looks like a fool.”
“You said they aren’t together?”
“That’s what he said. I guess she was angry about it.
They lied and said they weren’t together so she didn’t have to switch departments.
They were told that they didn’t want to take the risk of it being uncomfortable for everyone else with a breakup.
So caught in another lie. Guess they are both good at it.
I don’t care. I just want him to stop. We broke up over two months ago. ”
“You can take steps for it to stop,” he said.
“I know and I threatened that. I told him if I get one more letter or one more of his little stunts I was going to take action. I’m done.”
“Good for you.”
“Are you complimenting me?” she asked, smiling.
“I didn’t do it for an unexpected reward,” he said tongue in cheek.
“But you’re going to get one,” she said, moving closer and putting her lips to his. “Now that I’ve had a taste of you I’m not sure I can stop.”
“Don’t get too used to it.”
Because he wasn’t so sure he could stop either.
“Don’t tease me like this,” she said. “Can’t you just open your mind to it?”
“To what?” he asked.
“To us. We’ve had two deep kisses. Really nice kisses. Two little pecks. We haven’t even had a date.”
He groaned. “Seriously. You want a date?”
“Now I know you’re picking on me.”
“No, you don’t know that. Maybe I just want sex.”
He’d been upfront with her before, he’d do it again. With any luck, it’d turn her off.
“Well, so do I, but I don’t have flings or one-night stands.”
“Neither do I.”
“Somehow I don’t believe that,” she said.
“I don’t anymore,” he said.
Those days were long gone.
They weren’t that frequent either, but he wouldn’t lie and say he hadn’t taken what was offered to him years ago.
“Can I cook for you sometime? We can start small.”
“How about you bake me something and if it tastes good, then we’ll think about dinner?”
She smiled. One that reached her eyes with emotions in the depths that he wished he didn’t witness.
That was the shit that was going to get to him. What he’d been fighting against for years.
To open himself up to feeling any of it always hurt more in the end.
He hurt enough in his life, but wouldn’t admit it.
Saying what he had to Ford last night made him wonder if that was why he was willing to touch Meredith today.
To give into what he’d been fighting.
“If that is the best I can get, then you’ve got a deal. I’m going to go home and start baking. If you’re around tomorrow when I get out of work, I’ll run over some muffins.”
“Or I can come to town and get them later,” he said. “I’ve got a bunch of shit to do.”
“You just want to check out my place,” she said. “And I want to see you later.”
He wanted to scope it out and see if there was a way her ex could break in. He wasn’t so convinced it was ending, but the last thing he wanted to do was scare her.
“Go,” he said. “Start making the muffins first. I like muffins.”
“Wow. You’re pretty demanding. I can be too. Come, give me one more kiss for the road and then I’ll go.”
He grabbed her arm and pulled her into his chest. She hit it with a thunk and let out a giggle.
His mouth lowered to hers, her arms holding him tight, and he realized, he had little control left now that he opened that damn door.