Chapter 33 Done The Same Thing
DONE THE SAME THING
The next morning, Clay was up before Meredith, showered and in the kitchen. He hated putting on clothes from yesterday but wouldn’t leave her to run home and get anything either.
He knew if he brought her to his house, she wouldn’t want to return.
It was as he said—she had to do this now to not let it consume her.
He was fully aware of what it was like to have something take over every part of your being.
Control your actions. Your words. Your thoughts.
He refused to let her light be dimmed by something beyond her control.
“Morning,” she said.
He turned to see her come down in gray pants, a purple sweater, with a white shirt under it. The cuffs and collar were peeking out.
“Hey,” he said, moving over to give her a kiss. “How did you sleep?”
She hugged him tight. Almost as tight as she’d clung to him in his sleep.
He stayed awake staring at the ceiling the whole damn night trying not to think about what could have happened if he hadn’t put the camera on her window.
If she wasn’t even in his life.
He wouldn’t have known any of this and it could have been a random act of violence that he’d witnessed way too many times.
Those thoughts didn’t sit well with him.
“Once I fell asleep I was good. It doesn’t look as if you slept though.”
“I’ve had worse nights,” he said. He handed her the coffee he’d just made in her ugly floral cup, then put another cup under and hit the button for it to brew again.
“Thank you for staying with me. I don’t think I could have done it alone and then I would have regretted that. I don’t want to have regrets.”
“You’re stronger than you think you are,” he said. “Remember that.”
“I should be fine here tonight. At least I’m positive I will be.”
“I can stay again if you want,” he said.
“No. I need to do it myself. I don’t want to rely on you all the time.”
“Don’t think that way.”
“I’m not. I’m just saying that I’ll have to do it eventually.
I gave myself a pep talk in the shower. Richie is locked up.
He can’t hurt me. I have to be there for Macy.
That little girl’s life is going to take another turn.
I don’t know if she’s aware of what is going on and I almost don’t want to tell her. ”
“Let it play out,” he said. “I know you feel for her and she has no control over what happened.”
“Absolutely none,” she said.
“Ford texted. He’s going to be at the station before seven if you want to go over to give your statement now and get it over with.”
She breathed out. “Can I? I really want to get it over with. The thought of waiting until the end of the day is too much.”
“You could take the day off,” he said. “Most people would.”
“I’m not most people,” she said. “What’s that saying? When you fall off a horse, you need to get back up.”
He laughed. “I don’t think it’s the same thing.”
“Sure, it is,” she said, smiling. It wasn’t even forced. That was good.
“What do you want to eat? I’ll cook.”
She moved to the counter out of the way. “Eggs and toast work. I’m not even going to argue with you since I do most of the cooking between us.”
He pulled his coffee out and took a sip, then grabbed eggs from the fridge.
“Where’s your pan?”
She pointed to the cabinet next to the oven, so he grabbed that along with a loaf of bread to pop toast in.
Not even ten minutes later, they were sitting at her little table and eating.
“Will I be there long with Ford?”
“You shouldn’t be. Just tell them everything you remember. The dates, things like that. What you said last night about looking back and it making more sense. Richie admitted to everything, but it helps to have all that information.”
She nodded her head and dove into her food. Her phone was on the table and she pulled up a screen. “I’m going to make notes as they come to me before we get there so I’m more organized in my thoughts.”
“The teacher’s pet,” he said.
“Seems to me you like that kind of person.”
She was smirking at him, her hair falling in her face as her head was down typing.
He reached forward and tucked a lock of it behind her ear. “I do.”
He cleaned up breakfast and loaded her dishwasher, then grabbed his keys to follow her out of the door. She’d drive herself and then go right to work after, then he’d go home, shower again and change before work. His father would open the mill and get things going for him.
Ford would have explained what was going on and why he wasn’t home.
“Richard Stubban has confessed to scratching your car, throwing a rock through your window, and spray painting your front porch with the intent of physical harm last night,” Ford said. “But in your words, can you explain how you know the accused?”
They were in an interview room, the tape recorder in front of Meredith allowing her to talk.
She pulled her phone out and one by one listed dates and what happened on those days that were all the same time as when all the incidents occurred.
Her one run-in with Richie had been when he walked into her classroom accusing her of calling social services and demanding that no one was picking on his daughter again, then fighting with his mother over the amount of food being given to Macy.
“I can’t think of anything else,” she said. “If I remember it, can I call?”
“You can,” Ford said, hitting the button to stop the recording.
“I feel bad for Macy. Richie won’t get bail, will he? I mean, I’m worried about his daughter and Rosie. Would he take it out on his mother also?”
“His mother refused to post bail last night. My guess is they don’t have it, but she wasn’t giving it if she had. She hung up on him and told him he was on his own,” Ford said. “He wasn’t allowed back at the house or near Macy.”
“Can I file a restraining order? Clay told me I should do that and have it on record.”
“Yes,” Ford said. “We’ll get that going also. You should make your employers aware of what is going on. I’m positive that they may prevent you from contacting Macy until this is resolved.”
Her shoulders dropped. “Why?”
“Less chance of conflict. Rosie Stubban said she wasn’t sending Macy to school today. She is going to have to deal with legal guardianship.”
“So Macy might end up in foster care over this?”
Clay reached for her hand. “Don’t get drawn into this. I know it’s hard for you, but you have to let it go.” He was looking into her eyes. “Breathe in and out. It can’t be your problem to solve. It can’t be your burden to carry. If you take too much on, you can’t be you for everyone else.”
She mirrored her breathing to his, then nodded her head.
They finished, Clay walking out with Meredith, giving her a kiss and watching her pull away.
“Come to my office.”
He turned to see Ford standing with the door open for him to go back into the building.
It wasn’t that busy, most of his staff not in yet.
“What now?” he asked.
“Are you okay?”
“Are we going to go there again?” he asked. “I shouldn’t have slammed him against the door.”
Ford sighed. “That’s between us. No one else saw it.”
Clay saw the knife when Ford took it out after patting down Richie who was cuffed and against the door, and lost his shit.
He grabbed the guy by the back of his neck and slammed his face to the door, growling in his ear about picking on people his own size rather than being a coward and going after women and children.
Ford pulled him off at the same time another deputy pulled in.
Since Meredith hadn’t said a word about it, she couldn’t have been watching the camera feed.
“You would have done the same thing,” he said. “You wanted to.”
“I did,” Ford said. “But I’ve got a lot more control than you do.”
In the past he would have disputed that comment. Today he didn’t think he could.
“I don’t want to think of what could have happened if the camera wasn’t there. Or I didn’t know her.”
“The neighbor called it in already,” Ford said. “Someone was on the way.”
“They would have been late. She would have opened the door to him.”
“Don’t let your mind go there. Didn’t you tell Meredith that? What was that about?”
He’d already opened up to Ford, there was no reason he couldn’t say more. “She knows about Colin.”
“You told her?” Ford asked, not looking shocked by the news.
“A while ago. I woke her when I was dreaming. She got most of it out of me.”
“More than I know?”
He snorted. “Are you going to get jealous of that?”
Ford smirked. “Absolutely not. We’ve all seen a difference in you the past few months. It’s definitely because of Meredith. Unless you prefer not to admit that.”
“There is no reason to deny what everyone is running their lips about.”
“Don’t be grouchy,” Ford said. “We only care.”
“I know. Are we done here? I don’t want to stink. I’m in yesterday’s clothing.”
“You’re used to wearing the same clothes for more than one day. Even going without showering,” Ford said.
Thoughts of his assignments passed through his vision. They were part of his past. He had to keep them there.
“Not something I have to do by choice now.”
He stood up, Ford doing the same, the two of them walking out.
“You know where I am if you need anything.”
“I’m fine,” he said.
“I think you’re getting there. But now I’m worried something else is weighing on you.”
“Like what?”
“The responsibility of being in love. Of having someone count on you,” Ford said. “It’s heavier than anything you’ve ever thought you could manage before.”
“I’m nowhere near it,” he lied.