21. Foster
FOSTER
Sutton’s eyes flare with fear, and my heart shares the sentiment.
I’m not sure if what I say will make this worse or reassure her. My gut leads me somewhere I’d rather not go.
"Explain," she snaps, fists clenched at her waist.
I step forward, gesturing for her to stay calm.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry.
You were already struggling with the pregnancy, and I thought this would be the last thing you needed to hear at that moment, and then it kind of spiraled into not telling you at all.
I didn’t tell you about the detail in the clause of needing to have a baby by my birthday this year. ”
She scoffs and moves back to keep space between us. “It’s true. You needed a baby before the end of the year.”
“Yes, but I’ve also been clear to my dad and brother that I wasn’t going to follow through with the clause solely because I needed to. If anything were to happen, then it would be on my terms.”
Her chin begins to tremble. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“That everything would only happen if I met the right person and fate stepped in.”
Sutton displays herself with her hands. “Well, congratulations. Fate stepped in.” She laughs bitterly but then stalls. “Oh my God,” she quietly gasps to herself. “But did it? Is your brother right? You made sure this happened?”
I rub at my face. “Just ask, Sutton.” It comes out frustrated because this entire conversation is my doing, but I wish she believed in me more.
Her eyes drop to her belly, and when her eyes strike up to meet mine, tears pool at the bottom. “Did you get me pregnant on purpose?”
“Sutton.” My voice is thick. I don’t waste time. I take her shoulders, gently turning her to face me, ensuring she meets my eyes. “Think about it. We used condoms, but you weren't on birth control.”
She gently shakes her head, torn between disbelief and a need to argue. "Exactly, I wasn’t on birth control."
“I hate to tell ya, sweetheart, but you also knew it was a risk, and still…” I challenge.
Her hands fly up to pound on my chest. “This is not on me. For all I know, you could have done exactly what your twisted brother thought of. I mean, condoms aren’t effective if you fucking sabotage them.”
She just shot a bullet through me, and my jaw goes slack, trying to accept her thought, but I can’t. “You honestly think I would do that?” Only her cry is the immediate response, and her fingers splay against my chest. “Look me in the eye and ask that again,” I demand.
Her eyes slide to the side, and she hesitates, but then our gazes meet. “Did you do something?”
“Do you believe that I would? Really believe it? Because I feel that you and I know each other the best. You should know the answer already.”
She takes a few breaths, nostrils flaring. Gradually, her body’s tension fades, replaced by quiet acceptance. "No," she whispers, admitting. "You wouldn’t."
“And I didn’t.”
"But..." she stammers, struggling for words.
“No buts. Hell, even when I knew you were ovulating, I didn’t try extra hard to get you pregnant.”
Her relief disappears. "What?" She steps away, out of my reach.
I scrub my fingers against the back of my head and wince. In hindsight, I picked the worst choice of words, but I can’t leave any stone unturned right now.
My feet move forward, and she steps further away, anxiety returning to her face.
“You have that app thing that gives notifications about your cycle and...” I’m going to have to rip the band-aid off.
“I… looked a few times.” That small corner in me is twisted as fuck, and I’ve been dealing with that confrontation in my head for a while now.
The possibility that I could sit in morally gray territory.
She gasps, covering her mouth. "God, no. This isn’t happening." She starts to fan herself.
This is my fault that she is now about to break down.
“Plus, you even told me once that we had to be extra careful.”
She chuffs a cynical laugh. “Well, we didn’t get that memo.” Raking her hands through her hair, more tears fall.
“Come on, Sutton. An app isn’t biology.”
“But it’s an indication and fucking me non-stop around that time increases the number of chances. Is that why you ensured we did?”
Adamantly, I shake my head. “Absolutely not. I fucked you because I wanted you in bed. Because I wanted to be inside of you. No persuasion or reason needed. I wanted and will always want to be with you.”
“Why does this feel like this isn’t some fucking coincidence.”
“It is! I promise you. On my mother’s grave, this is purely destiny stepping in. This didn’t happen on purpose. It’s just…”
Perhaps mentioning my mom grabs her attention, and at last, the slightest hint of belief appears. “Just what, Foster?”
This is the part where I’m ashamed. The constant wrestle in my head questioning my motives and coincidence.
“It’s… I also avoided telling you about the deadline, because I didn’t fear a situation in which we would accidentally get pregnant.
I’m afraid of myself right now, because deep down… I think I wanted it.”
“How could I be so stupid? I’m the one who always does everything right. Then you come along and unravel me. I spin out, become reckless. I get pregnant by accident and offer myself on a fucking silver platter as a wife. Everything you needed!”
Tracking to her, I will keep persisting until it’s clear in her head.
“Trust me, that thought crossed my mind a few times. A problem solved. But fuck, the clause didn’t even say I needed a wife!
Sutton, I don’t care about the family business or my mom’s will.
It’s true that I’ve told my family I want things my way.
Timing sometimes happens funny, but it could be two years ago or ten years from now.
For you, I would wait. Because by chance you walked into my life, and everything feels right with you. ”
“I bet. Deceitfulness tends to get you what you want. You have what you need,” she snipes.
Shaking my head, I won’t relent. My hands come up to cup her face, keeping her still and in my gaze. “You do things to me, Sutton. I feel in my own skin when I’m with you, I’m happy, and I love you like crazy. Coincidences can happen. It happened to us. The baby was a surprise, I promise you.”
“You saw me struggle with the news.” More tears fall.
I kiss her forehead, pull her close, wanting to do everything in my power to soothe her.
“That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you about every detail of the clause bullshit.
Minimizing your stress was what I thought was best. But I promise, I’m becoming a father as unexpectedly as you are becoming a mother. I’m in this from day one.”
“No shit. You got me a ring, and that cements your cause even more. Nothing is better than having a baby and a wife, right? Bonus points, I’m sure.”
I don’t let her go. “I got you a ring because if there was ever anyone I felt a strong connection with, it’s you.
Baby or not, our attraction was a fucked-up kind of magnetism.
Addictive. We wanted casual, but every day it felt more impossible.
You’ve seen a side of me nobody else does.
For two people who like to follow the rules, we sure didn’t.
That meant nothing would ever go smoothly.
But a ring on your finger, calling you my wife—it never made me hesitate.
Pregnancy or not, I always believed I’d call you my wife one day. ”
There is a flicker of warmth in her eyes when she meets my gaze. I feel it in my blood that she and I see it the same way. But her face is red and puffy from crying. I hate myself right now. “I’ve fucked this up because now you’re stressed.”
“And angry,” she adds flippantly.
“You have every right to be.”
“You left out a minor detail that isn’t exactly a tiny piece of the puzzle. You intentionally never told me.”
I shake my head. “You’re right, but it wasn’t intentional. I left out the detail and haven’t told you, and it didn’t cross my mind when I would, only that eventually I would.”
Sutton hiccups another cry and uses her wrists to swipe my arms away. She turns and paces away from me, and everything feels numb. Lightning strikes me when she hisses a sound, and her palms drop to her belly.
Apprehension takes over me. “What is it?” I make one long stride.
"Stop. I’m fine. He’s just kicking."
Probably because he hears his parents arguing.
“Are you sure?” I’m still anxious about the physical toll this conversation is taking on her.
"I can’t look at you right now," she says.
I lift my hands in the air to appease her. “Okay, I’ll go stay at a hotel tonight if you need space.”
“No, Savannah is heading to Everhope, and I’m going with her. I need to wrap my head around this, and I need to be somewhere quiet.”
Rolling my lips in, I sigh because a breather from this is probably for the best. “Okay. Will you at least let me know when you get there safely?”
“Sure.”
Then she turns her back and walks away, taking all the pieces to ruin me with her. Because everything is at stake.
My wife.
The life and family we are building together.
I’ve always been the man who easily gets what he wants, but Sutton is the one person in my life who takes that power from me.
And I’ve never been so scared.