Chapter Three
RILEY
I hover outside Ronan’s office, the wood of the door cool beneath my fingertips as I lean closer. I hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but when Kieran’s voice cut through the heavy silence of the hallway, I couldn’t help but listen.
And now I wish I hadn’t.
I don’t know if I even want kids.
The words are sharp enough to steal my breath, and my stomach turns violently.
How the hell am I supposed to tell him now?
Backing away from the door, my heart hammering, I force myself to move before Kieran catches me eavesdropping.
I creep down the hallway, past Ciara’s room, but I’m so focused on not making a sound that I slam right into what feels like a solid brick wall.
“Watch where you’re going.” Brennan laughs, placing his hands on my shoulders to steady me.
“Jeez, you scared me.” I hold a hand to my chest.
I had almost forgotten that the youngest Sullivan brother was still in the house, given how quiet he’s been.
Normally, his loud, boyish laugh can be heard a mile away, but he’s been locked away in one of the bedrooms for the past few hours, traipsing through security footage trying to pin down the men who ambushed me and Kieran on the freeway.
Brennan grins so that the dimple in his cheek pops.
Where Ronan and Kieran are stone-faced and intimidating, Brennan is fresh-faced and cheeky. Though I know he’s just as much of a weapon beneath that smile.
“You look like you’re trying not to get caught.” He narrows his eyes. “Anything you want to tell me?”
“No.” My cheeks burn.
“Tell that to your face.”
“Why were you sneaking around, huh?” I fold my arms over my chest.
“I came to find you, actually.”
“Me? Why?”
He shrugs. “There’s some pizza in the kitchen, and I figured you were probably hungry. So, you better grab some before Kieran and Ronan find out and eat it all.”
I was really planning on climbing into bed and spending the rest of the night wallowing in self-pity, but Brennan is one of those people who is really hard to say no to. So, I follow him downstairs and into the enormous kitchen where several pizzas are laid out on the table.
“Knock yourself out.”
“Where did these come from?”
“I raided the freezer,” Brennan takes a seat at the table and pulls an entire pizza toward him. “Honestly, I’m surprised it wasn’t just stuffed with frozen chicken breasts, knowing Ronan.”
I sigh, taking the seat opposite Brennan and reaching for a slice of pepperoni. “It’s unfair that you can all eat pizza and still have abs. Kieran eats like a horse and yet looks like an Adonis. It’s annoying.”
“If you think he’s impressive, you should see me naked.”
I roll my eyes. “There’s that Sullivan ego.”
“We can’t help it. It comes with the territory.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
Brennan laughs. The sound is refreshing, considering what we’ve all been through.
The humor dims from his eyes. “I’m sorry about what happened at the safe house. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really.” I pick off a piece of pepperoni and pop it into my mouth.
“Fair enough.”
We eat in silence for a few minutes, though Brennan manages to consume almost an entire pizza in the time it takes me to finish one slice.
“So, what were my brothers talking about that had you so interested, huh?”
“Nothing,” I say a little too quickly.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a terrible liar?”
I keep my eyes down as I pick at my food, but Brennan doesn’t seem put off by my silence.
“Want to bet that one of them leaves the office with a black eye?” he eventually says.
“Huh?”
“Ronan and Kieran. There’s no way in hell either one of them is walking away unscathed from whatever conversation they’re having. So, I’m putting my money on Ronan.”
“You think Ronan will be the one to have a black eye?”
“Oh, hell yeah. Kieran’s a bit of a live wire.”
“I’m aware.” I reach for another slice, and Brennan laughs.
“I think he’s gotten worse since he met you.”
I pause. “Is that a bad thing?”
Brennan shrugs. “Not necessarily. If anything, you should be flattered. Kieran’s not one to care about anyone other than Kieran. But you… He would burn the world down for you, Riley. And I think that’s exactly what he’s doing right now.”
“I don’t want to get in between him and Ronan.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it. The dynamics between all of us have changed ever since our father died and Ciara joined the family, but I think it’s been for the better.”
After the conversation I just overheard between the two eldest Sullivan brothers, I’m not so sure about that. But I don’t say that to Brennan.
“Plus, it’s fun when Ciara sides with me against Ronan.”
“Ah, so this is what it’s really about. Safety in numbers.” I laugh.
“I need all the help I can get. I’ve been the punching bag for Ronan and Kieran my whole life, but now that Ciara’s in the picture, she sticks up for me.”
“Poor baby Brennan.”
“It’s a hard life,” he says through a mouthful of pizza.
“So, is this what this is?” I signal to the pizza. “You’re trying to buy my loyalty with food?”
“I mean…yeah.”
“And here I was thinking we were bonding.”
“I’m a Sullivan; I always have an ulterior motive,” he jokes, and I roll my eyes.
“On that note, I should probably try and get some sleep.” I get to my feet. “Thanks for the pizza.”
“Thanks for keeping me company.”
“Anytime,” I say over my shoulder before heading back upstairs.
The lift in my mood from talking with Brennan doesn’t hang around long in the silence of the unfamiliar room. While it’s not as sterile in terms of the decor as Kieran’s place, the lack of personal belongings makes me feel hollow.
Climbing on top of the bed, I curl onto my side and hug my knees to my chest to try and hold myself together.
My body feels heavy with exhaustion, but my mind is racing as if I’d just consumed two triple espressos.
I’m sure all this stress isn’t good for the baby, but there’s not much I can do about that when I’m staring down the barrel of single parenthood if Kieran’s words have any weight to them.
Why can’t my brain ruminate on what Ronan said instead?
His quiet reassurance when he told Kieran that he can’t know what kind of father he’ll be until he’s faced with it should make me feel better.
But I guess I’m just used to bracing myself for the worst after years of having my life explode in my face.
I’m not sure that’s something I’ll ever get over any time soon.
I always seem to have something, or rather someone, I’m terrified of losing, and now that I’m pregnant, that fear has only multiplied.
Rationally, I know Ronan’s right. Kieran’s words came from a place of fear. And being scared doesn’t mean he wouldn’t step up or that he wouldn’t love a child fiercely once they were here.
But still, his words have planted a doubt in me I can’t seem to shake.
If I tell him now, when he’s already drowning in worry about Cormac and the future of the Sullivan empire, won’t he see my dishonesty as proof of his worst fears?
The faintest tremor of panic has my hand going to where I’ll grow a bump.
Maybe holding onto this secret a little longer is safer, just until things calm down and Kieran doesn’t feel like his world is about to collapse under him.
The door clicks open, and I glance over my shoulder to find Kieran’s broad frame filling the doorway.
His eyes scan the room before landing on me, concern darkening his features. “Hey. I thought you’d be asleep by now. Is everything okay?”
I force a smile that seems to drain the last of my energy.
“Everything’s fine. My brain is just being…loud.”
He studies me for a moment, but then he steps inside the bedroom and closes the door. He comes to sit beside me, the mattress shifting beneath his weight.
Then, as if changing his mind, he moves to curl his body around mine. His arm slides beneath my head as the other snakes around my waist, and I relax against his body. The warmth is steadying, and my eyes start to sting.
I didn’t realize how badly I needed the familiar contact until now.
“You’ve been through a lot.” His lips brush my hair. “This hasn’t been easy on you. But it’ll be over soon, Riley. I promise. I’ll find Cormac, and I’ll put an end to whatever the hell he has planned.”
I nod, nestling closer to him, but my throat burns with words I can’t say. I want to tell him he doesn’t have to promise me the world. All I want is for him to choose me and this child, and the life we could build together.
Instead, I nod. “I still can’t believe it’s Cormac. He always seemed… I don’t know, distant? But I never expected him to betray his own family like this. Do you think he’s being set up or blackmailed?”
“It is hard to believe, but if he were innocent, he would be here right now pleading his case. But the fact is he’s hiding, and that, to me, screams guilt.”
“Maybe.”
He shifts behind me, tugging on my waist so that I roll onto my back.
When I look up into his face, there’s a weariness in his dark eyes that makes my chest ache.
His eyes pierce mine. “I’ll handle it. You don’t need to worry about Cormac. That’s my burden to bear. I just want you to focus on taking care of yourself.”
“I’m trying.”
“Have you eaten?”
“Yeah, I had some pizza with Brennan. We were…bonding.”
Kieran rolls his eyes.
He scoffs. “He’s just trying to get you on his side. Don’t fall for the charm. He’s just as ruthless as the rest of us.”
“Too late.” I grin.
Kieran’s eyes darken in a way that sends a rush of heat straight to my core.
“But I could bond with you too, if you like?”
“I don’t need to bond with you, little dove. I already know you’re mine.” His mouth finds mine and, for a moment, I melt into him, trying to drown in the comfort of it.
But the pit in my stomach only grows.
I kiss him back anyway, because I don’t know what else to do.
My fingers sink into his shirt, pulling him against me as I part my lips, and when his tongue strokes against mine, I let out a whimper as that familiar ache starts to build between my legs.
I need him, more than I ever have.
But Kieran breaks the kiss before I can take things further, letting out a tired sigh as he rests his forehead against mine. “As much as I would love to stay here with you, I should get back to work. I can’t afford for Cormac to slip even further out of reach.”
“You need rest too.” I reach up to brush his cheek.
His stubble is rough against my skin.
“Burning yourself out isn’t going to help anyone. How much sleep did you even get last night?”
“Enough.” He brushes a thumb over my cheek.
I give him a skeptical look, but he only shakes his head. “Don’t worry about me, little dove. I can rest once I figure out where Cormac is.”
There it is again, that promise that everything else comes second to his duty.
He presses another kiss to my forehead before sliding off the bed, straightening his shirt. He lingers in the doorway, as if he’s going to say something more. But then he’s gone, the door clicking softly shut behind him, and I’m all alone yet again.