Chapter 40
Chapter Forty
KIERAN
Five Months Later
It’s the middle of January, and the grounds of Ronan’s estate are blanketed in a thick layer of snow. It looks like a winter wonderland, with a thousand fairy lights shimmering in the trees like tiny stars.
When Riley and I first discussed the idea of having a real wedding, I was all set on hiring out the ballroom at the Plaza, but of course, she had other ideas.
Over the last year, this place has become like a second home to Riley and me. It’s where so many of our memories were made, where we celebrated victories and patched each other up after losses. It’s where we both learned what it meant to build a life together.
She insisted that it would be the perfect place to host our wedding, and as I’m looking out at the intricately decorated marquee, I realize she was right.
Then again, she always is.
Though we used fake names, legally, we’ve been married for months now.
But I couldn’t let Riley’s memory of our wedding be tainted by that awful Elvis impersonator. She deserved something so much better.
Also, I want this to be about us. Using our real names, no fake certificate, no fake relationship. All true feelings.
So, today isn’t about anything other than giving her the wedding she deserves.
The dress. The vows. The chance to walk down the aisle with her friends and family watching.
But most importantly, for us to have the chance to celebrate our love properly before our lives are turned upside down all over again in a matter of weeks when the baby is born.
Riley stands across from me now, her hand trembling slightly in mine. Her green eyes are bright and glassy as she fights to hold back her tears.
Under the soft light of the chandeliers, she looks radiant.
The dress she picked is elegant and simple, with delicate lace at the sleeves and a soft drape that hugs her bump.
At eight and a half months pregnant, she knocks the breath out of me every single time I look at her.
I didn’t think it was possible to love Riley more, but watching her carry my child is a feeling unlike any other.
When she starts reading her vows, my throat goes tight with emotion.
As she talks about how our relationship started, I’m pulled back to those early days when we were forced together.
“We were an unlikely match,” Riley says, and I laugh. “I didn’t think I would ever find someone as stubborn as me, but then I met Kieran, and everything changed.”
“For the better, I hope.”
Riley grins. “I never really believed in fate, and those first few weeks with Kieran definitely made me believe in it less.”
“Ouch,” Brennan mutters from behind me, and I roll my eyes.
“But the more I got to know Kieran, the more I realized that there was no way I wasn’t going to fall in love with him. It seems like I was doomed for the start.”
“Me too,” I murmur.
“I love you, Kieran Sullivan, with my heart, body, and soul. And I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life loving you.”
I don’t even try to hide how her words affect me.
Riley isn’t just the love of my life. She is the person who pulled me out of the dark and lonely hole I had dug for myself. The one who made me believe that I was capable of loving another person. And I owe her everything.
The moment we’re pronounced husband and wife, I don’t hesitate to take her face in my hands and kiss her like I’ve been starving for it.
The crowd erupts into applause, but I barely hear them.
All I can focus on is Riley.
When we finally break apart, she laughs breathlessly and presses her hand over her bump.
She laughs. “Someone’s awake. I guess the little nugget approves.”
I grin and place my hand over hers. “I love you so much.”
“Oh, really? You’ve never said.”
I lean in to nip her bottom lip. “Who knew my wife was such a tease?”
“Your wife is a lot of things, and right now, she’s hungry.”
“I have to admit, Ciara outdid herself with the wedding planning,” I say as I look around.
While we had some pictures taken in the snow, the marquee was being transformed into something out of a winter fairytale.
Tables have been brought in and decorated with white tablecloths and enormous arrangements of winter roses, and the guests are enjoying the unlimited amount of champagne that Ronan unknowingly has fitted the bill for, courtesy of his wife.
“She really did.” Riley rubs her belly.
“Is that a compliment I just heard?”
I turn around to see Ciara grinning up at me.
Nico is perched on her hip, wearing the smallest tuxedo I’ve ever seen.
I would never admit it to her and Ronan, but they really do make very cute kids.
“You must be hallucinating.”
Ciara narrows her eyes at me before turning her attention to Riley.
“I realize this is your wedding and all, but try not to overdo it. We do not need your waters breaking on the dance floor.”
As the reception gets into full swing, I hardly get a chance to be with Riley. Whenever I try to sneak a moment with her, either Ciara, Lucy, or Mila pull her away and I don’t see her again for hours. But I can’t get annoyed, not when she looks so happy.
“Are you ever going to thank me?” Ronan appears at my side, carrying a sleeping Addison.
“For what?”
“For forcing you and Riley together.”
I roll my eyes as my brother fights a smile.
“But in all seriousness, I’m really happy for you both.”
“Enough with all the feelings crap.”
“I can’t help it.” Ronan gazes adoringly down at his daughter.
I laugh. “Fatherhood has changed you.”
“For the better, I hope.”
“Jury’s still out on that one.” I clap him on the shoulder. “So, do you miss living with me, or what?”
“Not even a little bit.”
“Liar.”
Ronan fights a smile as he gently rocks Addison. “I think Ciara misses you, though I can’t imagine why. You’re a grumpy bastard.”
“Some would think it was in our genes.”
Ronan huffs a laugh. “How's house hunting going?”
After Nico and Addison were born, Ciara insisted that Riley and I stay at the estate a little longer, not just for the extra help but because she wanted as much family time as possible.
Even Cormac and Brennan stayed for a lot of it, when they weren’t trying to track down our uncle.
So, instead of moving back to the penthouse, we stayed put for a few weeks, which turned into a few months, on the grounds that Riley needed all the baby practice she could get.
Watching her with Nico and Addison, I know she’s going to be a wonderful mother.
Now that she is so close to her due date, we thought that having three babies under one roof might be pushing it, so we settled back into the penthouse a few weeks ago. But so much has changed since the last time we were there that it just doesn’t feel quite like home anymore.
I’m done with the bachelor pad and monochrome decor. I want a proper home for Riley and our child, with a huge yard so we can maybe get a dog or two…
“Well, the place next door to you recently went on the market.” I take a sip of my champagne.
Ronan groans. “Don’t tell Ciara that. I’ll never get rid of you.”
“Ciara’s the one who found it.”
“I really need to find a way of disconnecting her from the internet.”
“Come on, you’re not even a little excited at the prospect of being neighbors?”
“We’re already brothers, I think that’s enough for me.”
“I think it’s important that our kids can grow up together and have some form of a stable family life even among all of the chaos.”
Ronan lets out a sigh as he gazes adoringly at his daughter.
“I never thought we would get here.”
“Neither did I.” I place a hand on his shoulder as I look out at the dance floor where Riley is dancing with Ciara and Nico.
They spin in slow circles as it’s all she can manage with her bump, while Ronan and I stand at the edge of the dance floor, pretending not to get emotional at the sight of them.
But every time the light from the chandeliers catches in Riley’s auburn hair, or her face breaks out into a huge smile when Nico starts clapping, I’m struck all over again by how surreal this is.
“I’m going to try and attempt to peel my wife away from yours for a dance,” Ronan says after a beat.
I clap him on the back, chuckling. “Good luck.”
“Maybe I can bribe her with a sleeping baby.”
I fight a smile as Ronan wades through the sea of guests to where Riley and Ciara are, and as expected, Riley eagerly takes a sleeping Addison into her own arms and takes her over to sit at a table with Lucy, leaving Ronan to dance with Ciara and Nico.
A year ago, I couldn’t have imagined my life being like this. I was so consumed by my own darkness that I couldn’t see any other path except the one I was being dragged down.
But Riley changed that. She changed me.
My eyes flick to Cormac, who stands at the bar, deep in conversation with Brennan. Or rather, Brennan seems to be talking his ear off, and Cormac looks like he would rather be anywhere else.
He looks almost back to his old self, but there’s a hauntedness in his eyes that he hasn’t been able to shake. And I’m not sure he ever will.
My relationship with Cormac is still strained.
Sure, we’ve made progress by saying our apologies and burying the worst of the tension, but there’s still something with him that I can’t figure out.
Maybe it’s my own lingering guilt that’s throwing me off.
Even knowing he forgave me months ago hasn’t seemed to erase the fact that I was convinced he was capable of betraying us. All of that anger I held onto for so long at him leaving has left deeper wounds than I realized.
I wonder what would have happened if I had just trusted him from the start like Ronan. If I had believed in him, instead of shutting him out.
I take a drink of my champagne and try to focus my thoughts on Riley.
The music has changed to something more mellow, and I look over at the dance floor to see her talking with Oscar.
He wasn’t my first choice of wedding guest, but seeing as Riley puts up with all of my obnoxious brothers, I guess I have to put up with hers.
“You look like you’ve got something on your mind.”
I blink and look to my right to find Cormac.
“I always do these days.”
Cormac dips his chin.
I smile. “Had enough of Brennan’s shit talking, so you decided to come and bother me instead?”
Cormac huffs a laugh as he tucks his hands into his pockets.
“Something like that.”
I pull out a chair and take a seat. “Out with it. What’s going on?”
We might be on speaking terms again, but it appears that my brother still has a hard time confiding in me, which hurts more than I care to admit.
He takes the seat beside me. “I’ve been keeping tabs on a few things.” He keeps his eyes downcast as he fiddles with his cufflinks. “I got in touch with an old friend in LA and had him watching some of Lorcan’s old accounts.”
The name alone sends a chill crawling down my spine.
Even after all these months without so much as a whisper of activity, I can’t shake the feeling that Lorcan is right behind us, watching our every move and waiting for the perfect time to strike.
“And?” I press.
Cormac exhales slowly, his voice lower now. “There’s been movement on the East Coast. A withdrawal this morning from one of his dormant accounts for six figures was linked to a bank in San Diego.”
I straighten in my seat.
“You’re sure it’s him?”
“As sure as I can be without seeing him myself. It’s the same alias Lorcan used on the West Coast when he was laundering money through the docks years ago. I cross-checked it with some old records.”
My heart rate picks up.
“This could be the break we’ve been waiting for.”
“Exactly.”
“It’s about time we had a lead, but we can’t afford not to follow up on this.” I knock back my champagne.
There’s a half-empty bottle in a cooler on the table, so I grab it and pour myself another glass.
“Want some?”
Cormac shakes his head.
“I was thinking I could go and check it out.” He pulls out his phone to check the time.
“Now?”
Cormac sets his phone on the table and glances over at the dance floor where Brennan is locked in some sort of dance-off with Mila.
“Once Brennan has finished showing off, yeah.”
I scoff. “He’s such a typical youngest child.”
He turns back to face me. “I could kill two birds with one stone by taking Brennan with me. It will keep him out of trouble and give you and Riley a few nights to yourselves before the baby comes.”
I narrow my eyes, noting the deep purple shadows beneath his own.
“You sure you’re up for that? Last time we let Lorcan get the jump on us, it didn’t exactly end well.”
Cormac meets my gaze steadily. “I can handle it, Kieran. I…need to handle it.”
Something in his tone hits me square in the chest.
He sounds calm, but I can see it all over his face what it costs him to say that. This is his way of proving himself, not to Ronan, not even to me, but to himself.
I nod slowly.
“All right. Take Brennan and go first thing in the morning. But check in every few hours. I don’t want another disappearing act.”
He cracks a small, crooked smile.
“I wouldn't dream of it.”
For the first time in a long while, it feels like we’re not on opposite sides. Like maybe, just maybe, we’re finding our way back to being brothers again.
I drain the rest of my drink and stand, and Cormac rises too.
“Call me if you need anything.”
“Yeah.” He hesitates for a second. “And, uh, congratulations, by the way. You and Riley. You deserve to be happy.”
The sincerity in his voice takes me by surprise.
“Thanks.”
For a beat, we stand there awkwardly until Cormac tentatively sticks out his hand as if he’s not sure I’ll take it.
I just stare at it for a second, then shake my head and pull him into a hug instead.
He tenses at first, but then relaxes, his hand clapping my back in that awkward, brotherly way that says everything we can’t bring ourselves to say out loud.
When we pull apart, he looks like he wants to say more but decides against it.
“Take care of yourself out there,” I tell him. “And don’t do anything stupid.”
He smirks. “You too, brother.”
As he leaves, my eyes catch the phone left behind on the table.
I pick it up, intending to call after him, when the screen lights up.
At first, I ignore the text, too preoccupied at the sight of the background picture.
It’s a photo of a small boy barely out of diapers with a head of hair so dark it’s almost black, and a pair of brown eyes that are frighteningly familiar.
I glance down at the text, and every muscle in my body tenses.
Any idea when you’ll be back home? Scout really misses his daddy.
“Kieran.”
I look up to see Cormac standing before me.
But when he glances between me and the phone, his face drains of color.
“I guess I have some explaining to do.”