Chapter 40
Forty
Henry
“Hello,” Tabitha says into the phone.
“Hi, Tabs.”
“Hi, Henry.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long to call. I meant to call sooner, but—”
“You were talking to Francine,” she finishes for me.
I pause. I can almost hear her thinking, going through all the different options of who Francine might be.
“Yeah,” I say finally. “I was. For a while anyway. Then I had some thinking to do.”
She laughs once, sharp and too bright. “At least you’re honest.”
“Tabitha, it’s not what you think.”
“It never is, Henry.” She pauses a moment. “So tell me. No, let me guess. Francine’s what… Your accountant? A nun?”
I clear my throat. “Francine is my mother. My birth mother.”
Something clatters in my ear. She must have dropped her phone.
A few seconds later—
“I’m sorry. What?”
“My birth mother,” I say. “Didn’t Angie tell you that I’m only her half brother?”
Did she? It may not be anything Angie or my other siblings think about. I don’t think about it. Most of the time, anyway.
“Are you going to say anything?” I ask.
“Yeah. Sure. I thought…”
“I know what you thought, amber. You thought I had some other woman on the side.” I chuckle. “I can’t even handle you. How could I possibly handle two women?”
“I didn’t know what to think, Henry. I still don’t. You want a future, but you let me go. You let me go, let me believe…”
“I know. I’m a mess. But you already know all of that. I felt I had to answer her call. She’s never called me before. I thought something might be wrong.”
“All right, I guess I can—”
My phone interrupts with another call.
Francine?
She’s got to be kidding me.
“I’m sorry, I have another call,” I say.
“Okay.”
“I’ll call you back.”
“Don’t bother. Call back tomorrow. It’s late. I need to get to bed. Seminar starts early.”
The call ends with a click.
Have I screwed this up again?
God…
“Yeah?” I say to Francine, a little harsher than I mean to.
“Hey, sugar. I just wanted to apologize for the way I was earlier.”
“No worries. It’s not like I expected you to keep my first baby shoes or anything.”
“Actually, I did.”
Surprise whirls through me. “Say what?”
“I did keep your first shoe. Even had it bronzed.”
“Bronzed? I didn’t think anyone did that anymore.”
A pause, and then a light laugh. “It was your father’s idea.
But I kept it. When I signed away my parental rights, I sent almost everything I had of yours to your father.
But I kept that shoe. As a little memento.
A reminder of the life I could have had, the one I threw away.
Maybe I wanted something so I’d remember to never fuck myself over like that again. ”
“Where is it now? The shoe, I mean.”
“In a box somewhere.”
“Oh.”
I try not to be disappointed that she didn’t say something like “displayed proudly on my mantel.”
“I was thinking,” she says, “that maybe I would like to meet you. But I can’t afford to make the trip to Colorado. But if you’re ever in Palm Springs…”
“Yeah. Sure, I could come to you.”
“But I want you to know that I’m not after your money,” she says adamantly. “If that’s what I wanted, I would have come around years ago, when I was a hair’s breadth away from living on the street.”
“I never thought that,” I say. “And I don’t expect anything from you. I don’t expect you to have some kind of motherly feeling for me.”
“That’s good. I’m not the nurturing type. But could I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Was Marjorie Steel the nurturing type?”
I can’t help it. I laugh. The thought of anyone even questioning my mother’s mothering is…well…laughable.
“She was,” I say, “and then some. Still is, to be honest.”
“And you love her?”
“I do. Very much. She and Dad both. They were excellent parents. You told me before that you did what you thought was best for both of us. I don’t know if it was best for you, but it was certainly best for me. And I thank you for it.”
She pauses a moment. Do I hear a sniffle?
Finally, she says, “You’re welcome, sugar. I sure never expected anyone to thank me for anything. You might be the first person who ever has. I guess this old bird finally did something right.”
“I’m sure you’ve done a lot of things right.”
“I’m sure I haven’t, but it’s kind of you to say it.”
I’m sure, in that moment.
I was pretty sure before, but now I know I’m going to set Frankie Stokes up for the rest of her life.
If she wants to continue living with her Golden Girls, fine.
But if she doesn’t? It’s the best condo in Palm Springs for her, a new car, and whatever the hell else she wants.
Either way, she’ll have my support until her dying breath.
Because she did two things right.
She gave birth to me.
And she let me go.
“Tell you what,” I say. “I’ve got some stuff to take care of.”
“A girl?”
“Well, yeah. That’s part of it.”
“You need to go see about a girl,” she says.
I laugh. “Did you by chance watch Good Will Hunting recently?”
“Just last night, with Beverly Jo and Gladys. Felice had plans. She’s dating this geezer from a nearby retirement home.”
“Are they your roommates?”
“No, my cats.”
“Oh?”
She laughs raucously. “Of course they’re my roommates. You don’t think I’m some old cat lady, do you, sugar?”
I join her in laughter.
Her sense of humor is kind of like mine. Except mine’s been on hiatus since Ralph.
Maybe it’s time for it to make a comeback.
Maybe it’s time for a lot of things to make a comeback.
“Listen, Henry,” she says. “You go see about your girl. But as soon as you can find the time, I really would like to see you. I’ll even dig out that old bronze baby shoe for you if you want.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“Nah, it is. For me. I want to see it again. I may have missed out on your childhood, but maybe it’s not too late. Maybe you’ll let me know my grandchildren.”
“I—”
“No pressure, of course. Whatever you say goes. Like I said, you don’t owe me anything.”
“I know I don’t. But I do look forward to meeting you. I’m going to go see about that girl, and then the two of us together will pay you a visit. How about that?”
“Sounds perfect, sugar. Good night.”
“Good night, Franc— Frankie.”