11. Esther
ESTHER
Ijerk back and forth from the sway of the carriage, groaning in complaint as I try to moisten my parched mouth. Sunlight creeps under my hood offensively.
Shit. I jolt awake, shoving off Regent. I’d fallen asleep on his shoulder. When did I even fall asleep? Surprisingly, for the first time in a long time… I wasn’t plagued with my recurring nightmares.
I throw back my hood, leaning forward in bewilderment as I stare at the dry, barren canyon surrounding us.
Regent’s arm pins me back into my spot. “Don’t lean out. Look around us.”
I look over my left and down as we slowly cross over a narrow sandy bridge.
Although the landscape appears as solid ground, ripples curve in the sand like water.
Like a golden pond, feigning cracks as if solid land.
Movement catches my attention, and the edge of a razor tail flickers out of the liquefied sand, rippling gold.
“What are those?” I ask as my invisible chains reach out inquisitively.
The beasts are Felia blessed, unlike the stormbears in the back, who remain rather silent and still.
I can sense the dark beasts prowling on either side of us.
I catch a glimpse of five red beady eyes staring at me, poking out from the liquid sand until they slowly melt back beneath the surface.
Grimace emerges from around the back of my neck, yawning as he wakes. I grab hold of him tightly as he lazily yawns again and rubs one of his eyes with the back of his hand.
“They’re called riots,” Regent says. “This was the most efficient path because many aren’t willing to walk through the canyons, mostly because they don’t know how to differentiate what is real and not. If you touch the surface, you’re as good as dead.”
“Riveting,” I say, staring out in front of us before rubbing sleep from my eye.
“You should start feeling less tired soon. After contact with Lake Mahoori, it takes time to recover.”
I don’t reply, not at all comfortable with the way he seems attune to my needs, if only to keep me alive for the auctions. Yet he’ll go out of his way to protect these beasts.
I turn around and open the small window so I can peek inside.
Three sets of bright-blue eyes look back at me, hidden behind their mother, who guards them.
At least now, without the chains, they have more room to move.
But they are frozen in place, most likely aware of the movement swarming around us.
“You drooled on my shoulder,” Regent says, and I immediately snap the window shut.
“Perhaps I should fling myself into the riots after all, their company seems more pleasing,” I say as I lean over as if to do exactly that, but his hand grabs me by the back of the neck, and he slams me back into my spot.
“Your humor is not amusing.”
I point to Grimace, who excitedly runs circles around me. “Come on, Grimace found it funny.”
“I’m starting to think you and your beast aren’t a good influence on one another.”
I pat over his scaly little body as I fall into a somber mood. “Perhaps, but he’s always been there.”
I peek over to see where his mare is, his only humble companion. She flanks his side, wary of the movement in the sand, but remains fixed on the path. I’ve never seen a horse so daring. “What magic did you force on the mare to make her so loyal? Does she even have a name?”
Regent’s jaw grinds, and I immediately know I’ve hit a sore spot. “Unlike you, I don’t require binding creatures or beasts for companionship.”
My brows hit my hairline. Then you can kindly go fuck yourself.
I fold my arms over my chest, aggravated that I’m stuck with this intolerable greer. Who the fuck does he think he is? Yet here I am playing along with this charade until I can find my means to escape, when I should be back home.
Home.
My stomach grumbles, and Regent sighs as he searches under his leather coat. He pulls out what looks to be bread, a few days too old.
“Here,” he offers. Although hungry, I shift my gaze elsewhere. I refuse to play into his feigned kindness. I am but only a prisoner, and this asshole is insufferable. “Suit yourself.” He shrugs, but before he can bite into it, I slap it out of his hand.
The moment the bread hits the surface, an upheaval of the liquid reveals three dark scaly beasts breaking through, frenzying over the feast. Their barbed scales are translucent, displaying their bones and black insides.
Their faces are gaunt, the scales so thin they look like a skeleton’s head.
Five red eyes mount on top of that head, rolling in every direction as if only there for an accessory while they rip at the bread with sharp-edged teeth.
I cover my ears the moment one screams, the sound so high-pitched it bounces off the canyon as they thrash through the surface, revealing their long, vertebrate bodies.
The mare rears up on her hind legs, the buffalo quick to cry out in the same fear.
As the carriage dips from their thrashing, I’m awkwardly jerked out of the seat, but Regent’s hand clamps around my waist as I hover over the edge, my breath blowing on the surface as I come face-to-face with five beady eyes peering at me from the liquid sand.
My heart stammers as the beast grins, its razor teeth exposed.
The earth beneath us rattles from Regent’s magic as we shoot into the air, the liquid sand drifting farther away.
The air whips around my face as I’m jolted but held firm by Regent’s grip.
The beast blinks at me, once and then twice, two of its eyes looking elsewhere.
It’s tiny bone-like hands tense in the air as it tries to touch my red hair that blows toward it in the wind.
Its mouth gapes with a small gurgling noise of surprise.
Only its head remains after the earth pillar Regent quickly crafted, tore it from its body. As it gurgles black blood, and bits of its spine crumble back into the liquefied sand below, tears of pity well in my eyes. Other riots are quick to eat away at the scraps of their own kind.
“I told you to stay still!” Regent jerks me back toward him.
“How the fuck was I supposed to know that would happen? I don’t know this continent!” I scream at him as he jumps off the carriage to ease the beasts and buffalo.
“I swear, little greer. You’re starting to become more trouble than you’re worth!”
I throw my hands up in the air as I stand, needing an outlet for all these raging, turbulent emotions that only continue to build. I try my hardest to shove it back down, to remain levelheaded.
“I’m not here by choice, remember! Fuck you!
” my voice bounces off the canyon, but he’s too busy focusing on calming the beasts.
My heart races as the awakening of my magic stirs low in my stomach.
That sickening twist of magic, wanting and needing an outlet.
I throw myself out of the carriage onto the hardened earth he’s created, feeling trapped.
My breath falters as I look at the magnitude of his magic. He erected such a large monolith within seconds, so much room that multiple carriages could be supported by it.
No chant. Just raw unlimited power. I look back over at the carriage where he’s opened the back doors and is calming the stormbears.
My hands ball into fists and I want to scream as loud as I can.
I’m so frustrated with this greer who I’m all but chained to.
And I know it’s not him specifically that my loathing is directed at.
I hate myself for being so weak and in this predicament.
If only I could’ve helped Master Kain that night.
If only I was strong enough to free myself.
If only I could face Dahlia head-on right now.
Even when my magic hasn’t fully replenished, all I want is to set it free, let it ignite, and bring this entire canyon to fold in on itself.
The magic that wells within me is quickly becoming a noose around my neck, rising as if wanting to leak from my pores.
It feels different now, and I’m not sure if this is the real me anymore.
Am I changing because my binding has started to come undone after Master Kain’s death?
Or does it have something to do with the unknown bargain that was made in Lake Mahoori?
I look up to the sky, trying my hardest to force out a shaky breath.
Thoughts that I’ve never been daring enough to say out loud swirl around in my mind.
That wild storm within me is brewing, and I have nowhere to purge this magic.
Out. I need it out.
“Link.” My chains bind with Regent’s magic, finally able to grasp onto substance as it takes on a life of its own. All that rage and helplessness fills me like a dam about to burst, all my turbulent emotions fueling its intensity.
“What are you doing?” Regent’s voice shifts my focus to him as he closes the carriage door and grabs his mare’s reins.
I want to kill him.
I want to unleash my wrath and hatred onto this man who is keeping me away from returning to my land.
But there’s a bit of sanity I cling to, knowing that it isn’t him who holds me here.
“They’ll all die,” the Fates whispered. “Meet us at the bottom of the sea.”
“Whatever you’re doing, stop.” Regent sneers and takes two long strides toward me. But I step back like a wounded animal.
That vengeful wrath bursts to the surface as I scream, forcing out this scathing, hateful magic as it rolls over me in waves. My heart pounds wildly as I feel it twist through my veins.
Raw, primitive power swells in my chest, and all at once, it releases through my heightened scream.
Whatever his magic and strength are, they are the fuel to a fire unlike I’ve ever felt before as it courses through me.
I catch wisps of text and enchantments in the back of my mind.
A quailing tsunami shakes the earth, rattling the canyon as I hitch my chains to it.
Hoping I can use it as resistance to help tire out this living, starving thing inside me.
Earth monoliths shoot to the sky as Regent begins shaking me. “You need to stop this, whatever it is, it’ll kill us.”
Tears stream down my cheeks as I think of those I loved and lost. This twisted magic feeds off my pain in a way I’ve never known before.
I don’t want to stop.
I want the world to feel the same fury and pain it has inflicted on me.
Grimace scampers around my shoulders, his gentle touch like the light I need to stop this maddening rage, but I’m overcome with the desire to carry on and destroy.
I stare into Regent’s eyes, that painful anguish and hatred for him shifting into something else.
I’m not sure if it’s because I’m bound to his magic, but as I look into the depths of his eyes, I find a steady calm.
“Don’t let the curse take over.”
My expression twists in agony, knowing this isn’t a curse. This is who I am at my core.
I wince as I snuff out my own magic, as if cutting off its air supply, and fall to my knees. Regent is beneath me as I shake, tired and rattled, but at the very least relieved that my magic had an outlet, leaving me exhausted.
When I look up, I’m ashamed. The liquid sand has transformed into great monoliths around us, multiple riots caught in the crossfire and solidified into the man-made stone.
The one closest harbors beady red eyes, still boggling around with confusion.
Their translucent skin seems to shine under the glaring sun, and I fold into myself even more, punishing myself for hurting them in the process. Dark or light, they were still beasts.
My body is changing, my magic demanding more from me than it ever has, and as I once feared, I’m starting to lose control. I can feel the shift of Regent’s magic quietly working around us, still with no chant, just the vibrations of his magic undoing the disaster I created.
The monoliths slowly lower around us, including the one we’re perched on. His eyes are unmoving as I drink him in, that pull between us working as a guide for me to follow his breath. Once the liquid sand returns to its natural state, I sense the riots scurrying deep within their lairs.
Wind whistles eerily through the canyon, the silence deafening. I relinquish my invisible chains to his magic, my body exhausted.
“What are you?” Regent asks calmly when I deserve his fury instead. The beasts remain quiet and still. Perhaps my captor simply had that effect on all of us. In many ways, we are opposite. He is in control of his magic, and I am not.
“Lost,” is the only word that escapes my lips as I hide my face in my knees, hating this ugly version of myself.
The whiplash engulfs me as my magic comes back in fragments, but not the same.
The night my binding started to come undone, I should’ve died, if not then, within days.
But whatever bargain I struck up in Lake Mahoori has altered the natural flow of my magic.
Or maybe this is how it always was, the binding protecting me from its volatile nature.
My magic will only grow, and it is a wicked beast if uncontrolled.
My invisible chains catch on to something familiar, and I glance up, blocking out the sun. Following my line of sight, Regent looks up, and my mouth turns dry. A valther circles above. “Are valthers native here?”
“No,” he says as he pulls me up by my wrist. “We need to keep moving.”
A lump forms in my throat as I realize with clarity that it’s most likely Dahlia’s beast following me.
Whether from my outburst or her own devices, she has found me.
And I find myself shadowing Regent. Not because there’s anything he can do to stop her from finding me; but because it is only a matter of time.
Right now, all I can do is try to outrun her until I’ve gained enough control over my magic to kill her.