Chapter 23
The bed shifts and I blink awake. The sunlight streaming through the small window burns and I squeeze my eyes closed again.
I turn, but the weight of Valen still nestled into my chest keeps me from going far.
My heart flutters, the mingling scents of both men teasing my senses.
My thighs shift along Valen’s and I’m acutely aware of how naked he is.
The hard length of him against my hip sends waves of memories crashing over me. All the things I’d done with him, all the things I could do with him, wake me up better than any coffee could.
A warm hand brushes my long hair back and I turn towards Lucas. My face falls. He’s standing fully clothed beside the bed, his leather jacket in his now unbandaged hands. Disappointment strains my voice. “Where are you going?”
Lucas smirks like he knows where my mind was, and I blush hotly. I spent the night twined with two impossibly sexy, naked men and didn’t get even one orgasm out of it. I try to keep most of the soul-crushing disappointment off my face.
His deep voice rumbles, “I’m going to scope out the path to the bookshop and see what we’re dealing with.”
“I’ll go with you.” But exhaustion keeps me glued in bed. I thump back down from my meager attempt to lift. “Or, maybe not.” A strange hollowness in my chest draws my hand to it. My heart thumps beneath my palm. I rub, brows furrowing.
Lucas scans me. “Tired?”
“Yeah. I think so.”
“Stay in bed and rest. I’ll be fine.”
I drop my hand to my stomach. “How are your rings?”
He flexes his fingers. “Better. Nora’s shit worked wonders. She’s brewing another salve that should help fix the rest of the damage.”
I slide my hand in his and bring it closer to my face. There’s raised scarring beside each black band with freshly healed pink skin. My lips thin, my thumb brushing over it.
His voice softens. “I’ll be okay.”
It’s agony to let him go when every instinct is screaming at me to hold him.
It’s been too many close calls, too close together.
But he’s right. Scouting ahead is a smart, strategic move that Jinx would approve of.
And I’m beyond ready to get back home. Reluctantly, I nod and release him. “Be safe.”
He slides a fresh flat cap on. Where he found it, I’ll never know. His roguish smirk flutters my heart. “Sounds boring.”
I roll my eyes and he straightens to pull on his jacket. He nods towards the bedside table where a plate of fresh scones sits steaming. “Nora made them before she went down to open the shop. Eat and I’ll be back for lunch.”
And just like that, he’s gone, the bedroom door clicking shut behind him.
The silence brings on unwanted memories from the day before.
A vision of Aunt Vi hanging above the throne turns my stomach.
Grief sinks deep into me, pressure building behind my eyes until they squeeze shut, my body coiling tightly against the intrusive emotion.
A ghost chills over my skin. With a slow, quavering breath, I cast the memory from my mind, burying it deep in my psyche.
Drawing the covers up over my shoulder, I wrap tightly around Valen to steal his warmth. His arm drapes over me to draw me closer. He’s so peaceful asleep, so soft. His hair is loose and draped over his eyes. Gently, I stroke the strands back, my fingers lingering on his cheekbones.
A realization blooms in me, like a budding rose unfurling in the summer heat. My heart clenches, my throat tightening, rasping my words into the morning silence. “It was you.”
His eyes slide open, their usual coldness absent.
My thumb skims over his cheek again, our faces barely inches apart. “The hidden message in Viola’s letter. You created it.”
Slowly, his face shifts like a mask melting away to reveal the sad exhaustion well-hidden underneath. He nods.
My words turn strained. “Tell me everything, Valen. I need to know.” The plea catches in my throat, becoming more breath than sound. “Please.”
He softly whispers into the empty apartment’s stillness, “I had my suspicions about Viola. She’d been gone for so long and my parents weren’t getting along, but I never thought she’d be…” He clears his throat, eyes briefly closing. “I should’ve known when my mother fled.”
I hiss in a sharp breath. “Rossana left?”
He nods. “She warned that you’d never lift your curse and we would all die if we stayed.
She managed to convince Emilia to go with her, but my father wouldn’t abscond.
I could not endure abandoning him to rot if the curse spread like Atticus feared, especially after I was shown Alasdair.
My father wanted me to understand the risk of staying, but all it did was harden my resolve.
I thought I could eventually convince him to leave while we still could. ”
His eyes are far, unfocused, as he continues, “Perhaps that’s why Atticus decided to use me in his plan to lure you back.
Father told me to obey my Archweaver for the good of the Order, but I didn’t trust what the man had planned for you.
I knew Atticus was going to rip you apart piece by piece, no matter what. ”
His hand on my lower back twitches. “Your butterfly messages gave me the idea. Something so small that it’d be undetectable. I only got two words.” His eyes close. “I hoped you’d run when you figured it out. It’s why I let you steal the unicorn hair off me.”
My breath shivers. “But why bargain to try to get me to return?”
His shoulder lifts in a shrug. “If you returned, you’d lift the curse, or you’d be caught in it as well. If not, then getting you to flee was the next best thing. Then maybe my father would finally leave, too.”
My chest is tight, my heart aching. “Why did you help Lucas back at the estate? You could’ve left him to die.”
He’s silent for so long, I worry he won’t respond.
“You care for him deeply.” His gaze goes far, his lips mumbling, “I was always going to try to help you escape the estate, but discovering how Atticus hung Viola’s body made me realize how much I didn’t want anything else to be taken from you. So yes, I saved him as well.”
Tears burn me, threatening to pour down my face. I force them away, my throat tightening to nearly suffocating. Too many emotions swirl confusingly within me, all battling to be known. I struggle with them, struggle with my composure, so much that I nearly miss his softly whispered words.
“Do you still have the ring?”
I blink rapidly, my breath gasping. “What?”
“My ring.” His thick lashes lift, the blue in his eyes deeper. The sunlight behind him casts his pale skin in a halo. “Do you still have it?”
I hesitate.
Sadness flickers. “I see.”
He tries to withdraw, but I tighten on him, my leg hooking over his and pulling. His gaze is downturned, his lips tight. My heart aches and I whisper the truth. “Yes.”
His eyes snap to mine.
My lip trembles. “I couldn’t stand to throw it away.”
The hand on the small of my back presses harder against me.
Our bodies are closer, noses brushing. His words tickle my lips and they part in response.
“For what it’s worth…” His eyes shimmer.
“I’m sorry, Tori. I was a fool back then.
I should’ve stood at your side in your darkest moment and I stumbled. ”
My breath hitches.
“I’ve spent every day of the last seven years living in regret and wondering ‘what if.’” Pain shines in his gaze. Honest, open emotion radiates off him. “I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you.”
I can’t breathe. I can’t think. His hand slides up my spine, bringing me against his chest. I become acutely aware of how thin this nightgown is against his naked body.
“In all this time, my heart has remained steadfast in its utter devotion to you.” His lips brush mine. “I love you, Tori. Then, now, and forever. I’m utterly and completely yours.”
It’s all the sweet words I’ve wanted, all the things I’d hope he would say one day.
All the slow days at the shop fantasizing about him showing up at my door to confess.
My deepest wish for so long. The love that once was my whole life.
All of it is right here in my arms with his beautiful eyes and the sun backlighting his perfection.
And I’ll be damned if I let it go. Not now. Not after everything he’s done.
I kiss him and it’s like nothing has changed. I’m eighteen again and my whole world exists in Valentin Bauer’s arms.
My fingers snarl in his hair and our bodies mold together.
We kiss and kiss, breathing in each other like we were drowning apart all these years.
My eyes burn, my chest tight. His hand catches in my nightgown and I roll on my back.
His weight on me is so familiar, yet different.
He’s a man now and he’s more solid, more sure.
The difference is addicting and I arch into him.
We kick the blankets off to rid ourselves of the restriction.
Our addiction for kissing and touching each other has never ebbed.
My ankles hook around his hips, my nightgown riding high.
His hard length nudges my sex and I gasp, head falling back.
Shivers of delightful anticipation wrack me as he flexes his hips to brush against me again.
It’s deliciously dangerous. One false move and he’ll sheath within me.
His lips trail to my neck, murmuring beneath my ear, “You’re drenched.”
He nudges again and my hips tilt with a hungry desperation. “Th-there’s something you should know.”
His hands slide down my sides to my hips. “You’re fucking the magician.”
His palms grip my thighs and spread them wide, the action nearly turning me feral. Teasing pleasure hums in a demanding pressure. I gasp for breath and try to form coherent thoughts. “No. We’re not intimate like that.”