Chapter 5 #2
The number one thing she had to pull off was not giving away her inexperience.
She just could not bear to think what would happen if Elio learned she’d never been with a man.
If he’d wanted to break Francesca, a woman who’d never even been on his radar until presented with a list of female cousins to choose from, then God alone knew what he would do to Siena if he knew she was a virgin too.
She wished there was someone she could talk to about it, but there was no one.
Her mother would tell her to close her eyes and get on with it as she’d done with Siena’s father.
Her brothers… Well, they were men, and just like their father and Elio, were pigs who treated women like shit.
Rico and Tommaso might now be married, but before they’d fallen in love, they were pigs. All men were pigs.
For a fleeting, painful moment, she wished she could call Gabriella. She might not have advice on how to have sex without giving away your virginity, but she’d have made Siena feel better in herself about what she must endure. She missed her so badly.
There was no one she trusted to turn to.
Everyone else thought she was her persona: a sexy, confident, rich young woman who was friendly until you crossed her and who put family and loyalty above everything else.
She was all those things, but her perceived sexiness came from the looks and figure she’d long thought more of a curse than a blessing.
By the time Carlo brought the bowls of carbonara to them, her stomach had reknotted itself so tightly her appetite had disappeared to wherever it had been hidden before.
Because Carlo was awaiting her reaction, she forced a forkful into her mouth, telling herself she must eat at least half of it if she didn’t want to insult him.
It was every bit as delicious as Elio had promised, and as she swallowed, the strangest thing happened. If food could give you a hug, that’s what this carbonara was doing. Awed, she met Carlo’s watchful stare.
He smiled, and for another fleeting, painful moment, she wished she could jump off her chair and wrap her arms around him, and experience a hug she knew would be every bit as comforting as the food he’d just served her.
* * *
Elio watched Siena eat every last scrap of her carbonara with the strangest sensation in his chest. Whether it was because eating was one of the most natural acts in the animal kingdom, as necessary for survival as water and breathable air, or the wistfulness he thought he’d caught in her eyes, he didn’t know.
He just knew it was a sensation he despised.
So what if she needed to eat and drink and inhale breathable air to survive? So what if it made her as fragile and vulnerable as every other human who walked this earth? His parents and all the other people he’d lost at the hands and behest of her father had been fragile and vulnerable too.
Of all the Esposito offspring, Siena was the only one who could have turned her back on their shadowed world without consequence.
She could have lived her life in the lap of luxury, funded through it, but never expected to be a part of it.
She’d forced her way into it. Demanded it.
This was the life that she had chosen, knowing all it entailed, and she’d fully embraced it.
Relished it. Thrived in it. If she recognised someone as a threat, there was no question she would give the order to have that threat taken care of.
If the Espositos had had an inkling of the threat Elio would one day be to them, Siena would have given the order to have him taken care of without even blinking, and he must not let any human vulnerability she possessed override the knowledge of her true nature.
Her father hadn’t given a shit about his parents’ humanity, and they’d posed no threat to him.
She wouldn’t have given a shit about them either.
She might smell of marshmallows and taste of sweetness itself, but Siena was poison.
Soon, very soon, Elio would feast on her venom and know her father was watching his princess debase herself on the son of his enemy. To really twist the knife, her father would know she was enjoying it.
Let the flames of hell devour him.
* * *
All the comfort Siena had found in eating the carbonara died when they drove through the gates of Elio’s villa. Not even the lack of dogs to greet them helped.
His guard dogs were dangerous, but had nothing on what she was on the verge of putting herself through.
Her time was up.
Without any discussion, they climbed the stairs and entered his bedroom.
The hateful silver eyes found hers. “Do you want to shower first?”
She gave a terse shake of her head. Any delay in having to strip naked for him was a delay she would cling to.
He shrugged nonchalantly and pulled his t-shirt off.
She looked away. She didn’t want to see the body she was supposed to seduce.
The bathroom door closed.
She tried to expel a breath, but panic had gripped her tightly in its tentacles, and she headed into the dressing room, trying to shake it off as she chose a nightshirt, trying to collect herself, but all she could hear was the shower running.
Elio was standing naked beneath it, cleaning himself for her seduction.
She supposed she should be grateful that he valued hygiene. She remembered her mother dragging Rico by the ear into the shower because he stank so much. In fairness to Rico, he’d only been twelve.
God, how was she going to do this, she wondered as she paced the bedroom. She’d felt the size of Elio’s penis, and though she had nothing to compare it to, she knew it was big. Very big. Too big for her, a thought that set off a fresh wave of panic.
The shower stopped running.
Gripping her arms tightly, she forced herself to breathe deeply. She must keep herself collected if she was going to fake knowing what she was doing…
She did know what she was doing, she suddenly thought. She’d watched enough movies with sex scenes in them.
But those had been sex scenes in romances where the sex was tender and loving; far removed from what Elio required of her or what he would show her.
The bathroom door opened.
He strolled out smelling of toothpaste and his gorgeous shower gel.
Unable to even glance at him, she darted past him, clinging tightly to the nightshirt she knew would be on her body for only minutes before she had to strip it off for his delectation.
* * *
Elio lay in the centre of the bed. His head was propped on a pile of pillows, but his gaze was on the ceiling. A mixture of emotions was coursing through him.
He’d been with many women in his life. Too many to count. He wasn’t an unashamed playboy like Siena’s brother Tommaso had been or Gino Vicario, the man her cousin had fallen in love with, but he’d had more than his share of hook-ups.
For Elio, sex had always been transactional, an exchange of orgasms, a necessary bodily function.
He’d never lied to any of the women he bedded, always made it clear it was just sex that he required.
If they wanted more, that was fine; there were plenty of other men out there they could try and form a relationship with.
There were plenty of other women out there happy to share a few hours of release.
He saw no reason to hang around after the act.
He supposed that’s where he’d got his reputation from.
If it was considered bad manners to get dressed and leave after sex, then, in his view, it should be considered a liberty to have sex with someone knowing it was literally just sex, and then bitch about them afterwards for enjoying the sex and leaving straight after without bothering with pointless small talk.
There would be no leaving after having sex with Siena.
There was more anticipation firing through his veins than for all his previous sexual couplings combined. More than anticipation. Emotions too dark and turgid to name were alive in him.
It felt like he’d been waiting his whole life for this, and now this was here.
She was the only woman he’d ever fantasised about. Dreamed about.
The bathroom door handle turned.
His face set, he drew in a long breath.
She crossed the threshold.
His chest inflated in one swift, strong burst.
With her beautiful face stripped of makeup, her long blonde hair tumbling over her shoulders and her body wrapped in an oversized checkered nightshirt, Siena carried a faint air of vulnerability amidst the defiance she was radiating.
How, he wondered dimly as arousal pulsed thickly through him, could someone who looked like a sexy angel brought to life have a heart blacker than the deepest circle of hell?
“Take it off,” he commanded softly.
Her eyes closed and her jaw tightened before she obeyed, her fingers deftly undoing the buttons. Shrugging her arms out of the sleeves, she let it fall to the floor.
For the longest, longest time, Elio did nothing but soak in the naked body he’d spent all those years fantasising about.
Reality far surpassed fantasy. Everything was so much more than he’d imagined, a series of sensational curves seamlessly flowing together into an hourglass.
Her breasts with the pale pink nipples were larger and fuller, her hips more rounded, her waist smaller.
Her thighs were delectable, the V of her sex between them covered in a light smattering of blonde hair.
He met her stare. Her cheeks were saturated with colour. Soon, they would be saturated with the desire she so detested.
Triumph punching through him, he smiled. “Come here, wife.”