CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Lorelei
It’s funny how your entire life can change within a very short time. Just a month ago, I had to leave this building knowing that I might never get the chance to work here again, and now, not only am I working again, but I am married to the CEO.
Desmond’s request that I work as his PA was something I tried to reject, but he made it clear that the only way he’d ever let me work again was if I worked for him.
I hate the idea of sitting at home idle, and at first, I had tried to spend time with my grandma, but she had chased me away.
It turns out that she really loves the new facilities Desmond has moved her into, and she now goes on about how Desmond calls and continuously checks up on her.
If I didn’t know better, I’d say that Desmond had bribed her over to his side.
I’m really grateful that she doesn’t try to ask that many questions about the two of us because, at the moment, I am not sure how to describe where we stand.
Talking with two different lawyers, I realize that I won’t be able to get out of my marriage with Desmond, not if I want to remain in the US.
Katherine also pointed out that just like I wanted, my marriage to Desmond allows me to remain in the US and also provide for my grandmother.
I just didn’t think that it would be that much of a change for my life.
Desmond Anthony and Desmond Sinclair are two different people, and while I feel the same way about them, after all, Desmond has been kind, gentle, loving, and respectful, I am not sure I have totally forgiven him for deceiving me.
My meeting with Damian Sinclair had dispelled whatever illusion I might have had about our world’s being similar.
Damian is quite a nice man, as he treated me with nothing but utmost respect, telling me he hopes that Desmond and I would be happy.
If he has reservations about me, the man kept them to himself, and I can see where Desmond gets his charm from.
And that’s why I find myself stealing glances at him.
I am not a schoolgirl or a teenager in love, yet why do I feel all hot and bothered whenever he walks into the room?
Apart from our first night in Velhaven and on the trip back here to Daston, we haven’t been intimate and that might be my fault.
It has been two weeks since we got back to Daston, and while we now live under the same roof, I have been spending most of my time with my grandmother.
Of course, Desmond has been a bit busy and hasn’t exactly tried to win me to his bed as he did back in Velhaven or on the bus.
My cheeks burn as I think about how we had sex on the bus, not caring about the driver who barely paid us any attention.
I have always believed myself to be a woman who is modest and proper, but Desmond had stripped that away, and I enjoyed it.
Of course, I had made it clear when we landed that I think we should stay away from each other, even though I know that would be difficult, which is why I shouldn’t be angry that Desmond isn’t even looking at me.
Since we got back, he has been buried in his books, and I miss his touch.
Maybe he doesn’t find me appealing again.
Clearly, by now, the reality that I am not the most beautiful of women had sunk in.
So far, there hasn’t been any harsh portrayal of me in the media, but there have been a few articles about my physical appearance.
I don’t need to be reminded by anyone that I have a thick figure, though somehow, Desmond seems a little bit pissed by it.
I find it adorable how he seems to worry and bother about what people say about me. It would be nice if I could just believe that his worries and concerns come from a place of love, even though he claims he loves me.
Do I love him?
Katherine had asked about my feelings for him, and to be honest, I’m not exactly sure how to describe it. I’m crazily attracted to him, but not like the way I have been attracted to men in the past. This is different; it feels more raw and drives me crazy. It feels like love, but it can’t be love.
I can’t fall in love with Desmond.
Our marriage is just a pretense, no matter what anyone says.
Sooner or later, Desmond would get tired of being with a woman like me, and that’s when the cracks would finally start to appear.
Sadly, I am stuck with him for a while since the lawyer I met with told me that I will have to remain married for two to three years before I can divorce Desmond if I want to remain in the US.
There is one thing that bothers me, though, and that is Desmond’s parents.
Something Damian mentioned when he visited struck me, and I realized that the things Desmond had mentioned back during our first week together might be true.
His relationship with his parents might not only be sour, but Desmond’s childhood might be a topic to avoid, and that worries me.
He hasn’t made any mention about me meeting either of them, and it seems like he is okay with me meeting Damian, though he did mention his uncle Dean, who is currently out of the country.
I let out a sigh as I finish my coffee, realizing I need to return to Desmond. Resuming back to work has always come with a series of developments, especially the comments, as everyone seems to have something they’d like to say.
“There she is. I still can’t believe she’s married to him.”
“Looks like she dug her nails into him in the few weeks he was working with her.”
It’s difficult to pretend not to hear them.
It has only been a week now since I started working as Desmond’s PA, and everywhere I turn, some workers have something to say about me.
Even the drivers and workers from the dispatch room seem to think I have joined the enemy, and at the moment, the only person I can call a friend is Logan, who is on a long drive to the West Coast. He had joked that someone didn’t want him hanging around, seeing how they assigned the ride to him, but I’m sure that isn’t the case.
Just ignore them. They’re jealous.
Which is ironic because I am the one who has always been accused of being jealous.
I have never had a case where people would be jealous of me.
I finish my cup of coffee and stand, returning to my post, which is in Desmond’s office.
I had insisted that he let me stay outside the office by the secretary’s desk, but he insists that I am to sit in his office and attend to whatever he might need me to attend to.
“I was wondering where you were,” Desmond says as he steps in. “What do you want for lunch?”
Despite how much I had insisted that we both eat at the cafeteria. Desmond won’t let us eat down there, and the idea of getting something from the food stand outside the company isn’t one I can bring up.
“I’m thinking Chinese or something? That place we went to the other time?”
I shrug, not really interested that much in eating.
I watch as Desmond returns to work, realizing that despite how he looks, he is quite hardworking.
His attention is completely devoted to the report he is studying, and the way his brow moves whenever he reads something he doesn’t like is amusing.
He rubs his shoulders, and I am momentarily reminded of how broad they are.
I know I shouldn’t be thinking of him that way, but my mind wanders.
I need his touch. I miss him so much.
Yet, I need to maintain that distance between us. Just like Icarus, who got too close to the sun and fell to Earth, getting too close to Desmond would destroy me.
“I need to run some errands,” I suddenly say, realizing I can’t stay here with him.
“What?” He looks up at me.
I repeat myself, and he simply tells me I can take a driver, but I tell him it’s within the company.
Sometimes, I get this feeling that Desmond doesn’t like me being out of sight, almost as if he thinks I’ll disappear if he doesn’t keep an eye on me.
In his defense, I had tried to sneak back into town, so maybe his concern is understandable.
Luckily, no one follows me, and as I step into the lobby, not sure of where to head, I decide to just sit outside the loft looking for some sort of distraction.
I am attracted to Desmond, but that’s just it.
I mean, the man knows my body way more than I do.
The past few days, I have been trying to avoid spending too much time with him because I know that should he kiss me or touch me, I’ll be begging him to please me.
The truth is that this man has completely made me his woman, even though that title is one I’m reluctant to accept.
“Well, this makes things easy for me,” a voice interrupts my thought as he sits right next to me. “I have been wondering how I’d meet with you, Lorelei.”
I freeze, recognizing the voice almost instantly. There is no way he is back again.
“Paul,” I say with every bit of hatred I can muster.
“Come on, don’t be like that, Lorelei,” he reaches for me, but I slap his hand away. “Just as feisty as I remember.”
I haven’t seen or heard from my toxic ex in months, and the only reason he would be appearing anywhere near me is that he is up to no good.
“Heard about your marriage and I’m really happy for you. Seems like you did well for yourself.” I don’t bother to reply, knowing that chatting with Paul would only give him more power. He looks like someone who just crawled out of a sewer, and no doubt he just snuck from a drug house or something.
“What do you want?”
He smiles, revealing his yellow teeth, and I can’t believe that I once thought I was in love with this man. “Well, we can’t talk about it here. Let’s meet somewhere private. Don’t want the whole world listening to our business now, do we?”
My skin crawls as I listen to him talk before I can tell him that we have no business together.
Paul pushes a paper to me. “Call me in two hours. We need to meet, or you’d regret it.
” I watch as he saunters away, my mind in complete turmoil.
I have so many things going on in my life at the moment, and I don’t need Paul to complicate it.
Whatever this might be, I need to deal with it.
For the rest of the day, I try to remain calm.
The last thing I need is for Desmond to know about my meeting with Paul.
Once the day ends, I lie to Desmond that I need to meet with Katherine.
“You know I haven’t met with her after the whole reveal. I bet she must hate me,” Desmond says as we ride the elevator down.
I assure him that Katherine understands. He suggests meeting with her, but I tell him not today since we just intend to catch up on some things. Luckily, he doesn’t suspect a thing, and once his car leaves, I head to the nearest payphone to call the number Paul had given me.
“We meet at Freddy’s Place. Thirty minutes, if you’re not there, I don’t care what you have to say.”
I hold on tightly to my purse as I wonder if Paul would ever show up. Sitting at the last booth, sipping the Sprite I ordered to cool myself, I almost think that Paul won’t show up, but suddenly, he is standing right next to me, a dirty look on his face.
“I miss what we used to share, Lorelei,” Paul says as he sits down.
“What do you want from me, Paul?” I ask him in a serious voice.
He tries to dance around the issue, asking me if I don’t miss what we used to share, a rather bold move from him, judging by how he treated me like crap. Breaking up with him was the best thing I did for myself, and I’d rather die than be with him again.
“Fine, if you don’t want to talk with me, then let me show you something to remind you of our time together,” Paul says as he brings out his phone and passes it to me.
For a few seconds, I stare at the screen, unable to believe what I am seeing.
“You monster! I thought you deleted this,” I spat at him.
“Yeah! Yeah! I thought I did, but turns out I didn’t,” he says with a gleeful smile on his face. “There are more of them, and you know there are a lot of people who would pay a lot for your pictures.”
Back when he had taken those pictures, I really didn’t think much of it. Finally seeing a man who loves me despite how I looked had made me take those pictures willingly, and I had sent them without much of a second thought. I thought he had deleted them, but he didn’t.
“What do you want?”
“A hundred and fifty grand in a month. I know how rich you are, so I’m sure that’s nothing to you.” Desmond is the wealthy one; I am still scraping by to survive, and I doubt that he would just casually hand over a hundred and fifty grand if I ask him.
“I don’t have that kind of money, Paul,” I tell him in a low voice.
I hate that he is making me feel this way, but I won’t beg him. No, this man is done having any hold over me. How desperate was I to fall for a man like him?
“A hundred grand and I’m not going below that, Lorelei. You find the money, and I will give you all these juicy pictures. I have about eighty-something of them.”
My heart drops at his statement, and I wish I could lunge at him. I want to scratch out his eyeballs, to punch him in the guts, but I can’t do that. Not out here, not in public.
“Give me a few weeks. It will take a while, but I’ll gather it for you,” I tell him.
“Good. Don’t keep me waiting, Lorelei,” Paul says as he leans over, his stench clogging my nose.
He takes my Sprite and leaves. For what seems like forever, I remain in my seat, trying to process how to deal with this. A hundred grand is a lot, and I am not exactly sure how the hell I would raise it in just a matter of weeks.