Chapter 6 #2
As if he was remembering the same thing, Ford’s brows rose slightly at the swell of emotion, testing to see what I would do.
I just hoped he was simply remembering we’d decided that, rather than analyzing it.
Any more thought dedicated to the matter and he might realize that difficult meant something very different to him than it had to me.
Taking a healthy step away from him, I swept my eyes over the endless rows of inventory stored here, spanning further than the width and length of the barn.
Jewels, spices, spirits, fabrics, you name it. If it was present on one planet and absent on the other, it was valuable.
I ran my hand over a wooden box that, if memory served correctly, contained enough bottles of Deveraux whiskey to pay a general’s salary for two years.
That thought recentered my focus, realizing what I’d initially planned to focus on if I’d gotten caught. By Roger, not my endlessly infuriating Soul Mate.
Pushing past an uncomfortable flare of emotion I hadn’t felt in years, I said, “A row of old cabins on the edge of our camp were untouched by the attack. Should I consider that a coincidence?”
Old cabins they appeared, but they held all of the goods we smuggled over. Always careful of what eyes could be watching, we engaged in the song and dance of hiding goods in traditional methods—false bottoms, hidden compartments, the whole nine.
We even kept the same group of soldiers on duty to unpack, store, and move the goods.
From all appearances, we ran a very successful operation. No one needed to know that it was not at all a secret, and even something that was carefully crafted to facilitate spying.
Even then, information was few and far between. If there’s one thing Muli knew, it was loyalty. Despite all the relationships Ford and I had built over the years, no one slipped up when it came to critical information about Muli or their internal operations.
We had to believe those relationships would pay off one day. That started now, with Roger.
His eyes narrowed, just the slightest bit. “You’ve never shared where you keep your goods in your camp. Even if I wanted to tell, I couldn’t.” Roger paused, as if considering whether to take a risk. “As I understand it, you had a defector.”
Not an accusation, just fact.
I stayed silent, not trusting myself to answer with any sort of decorum.
“We did,” Ford said matter-of-factly. “And we thank you for reminding us that he had access to more information than he probably should have.”
At some point while he was speaking, I’d turned to look at him. I wasn’t sure when it happened, it was like I blinked and the next time my eyes opened, they were on him.
More troubling, my body reacted before my mind could catch up, pouring a potent wash of anger through my bones.
Not the defensive, tender anger that had been sitting on my shoulders all day. Possessive, protective anger.
The type of anger one felt when confronted with the person that betrayed their Soul Mate.
I had been friends with Carson, borne mostly out of circumstance. But he’d been one of Ford’s best. I didn’t want to think about the moment we’d discovered he’d defected, what I saw in Ford’s eyes.
That had been one of the few moments in the last five, numb years where I’d felt something break through. I could understand why, if the force of emotion currently holding me hostage was any indication.
I would go for blood if I ever got the chance again. The thought rang through my head with a primal, rumbling growl.
It wasn’t until Roger shot me an amused look that I realized that sound must have actually come out.
His mouth curved up in a little tick of amusement.
“Though I certainly do not appreciate any sort of violence, I must say it is rather entertaining to see you squirm. Your connection has always been subtle. Obvious, but subtle. It’s sweet seeing you like this. ”
I blinked back at him dumbly.
A beat passed before Ford spoke again. “You understand that we have to ask whether you were warned.”
Roger nodded in agreement. Nearly every soldier who stepped foot in Roger’s bar knew who he was and what he could provide. Several of them were active members of his trade route back into the mainlands of Muli.
“Warned is a difficult word,” he said, stepping to the side to swipe a work-worn hand over a wooden crate, brushing off a wave of dust. “It’s been made clear to me for a while, back to when I’d first turned this place into a barn, that in the event of an offensive attack, I would be protected.
I surmised that extended to my business as well. ”
I opened my mouth, but Roger cut me off.
“And yes, Esme, I did have an inkling that something was happening today. I’ve learned not to expect you lot here a few days after you come back from Virterra.
” It was odd hearing the formal name of our world in that lyrical Muli dialect, even after all these years.
“But I have a steady flow of Muli soldiers here. Boredom drives people to drink like no other. I didn’t serve a single person in here tonight. ”
I wondered if he’d phrased that intentionally. He might not have served someone, but someone was here. Multiple someones, even.
I took a second to catalog Roger’s demeanor, sweeping over the bulky set of his shoulders, built to carry crates of liquor up and down steps, and over the hard joint at each corner of his jaw.
Though he hid it under a gentle and calm demeanor, I could see the lines of stress bracketing his mouth and pinching at the corners of his eyes. Pushing him too far would do him no good.
I softened my expression and took a step towards him. “We’ll protect you too, you know.”
Quick as the beat of a hummingbird’s wings, Roger responded. “Can you?”
Heat crawled up my throat, long pushed away shame coming back with full force. Shame about the harm I’d caused. Shame that I was a significant part of a war that destroyed land and lives and bodies. Shame that this conflict was happening in the first place.
“I will try.” Though it wasn’t comforting, it was honest. Roger knew me well enough to know that if I promised to try at something, I would put my full weight behind my efforts.
Roger’s eyes crinkled with emotion, though he forcefully shook it away a second later.
Ford stepped close, coming up to my back in a way that poured heat through my limbs.
Oh, I really hated that this was back. I couldn’t focus like this.
“It’s late, and we don’t want to keep you, but perhaps it would be wise to put together a rudimentary plan for—” Ford’s words were cut off by a loud crash from upstairs.
Ford and Roger’s eyes shot to the ceiling, tracking where the noise came from, while I kept my eyes on Roger to gauge his reaction. His features pulled tight with concern, though it was laced with something deeper.
Something like panic.
“Why don’t you go check on our horses, sweetheart?” Ford’s voice rumbled in my ear a second later. I was turning around to…well, I wanted to do a lot of things.
Push at his chest for getting so close to me.
Yell at him for using that word again.
Crawl into his brain and see down to the very core of him.
All of those priorities, and yet I only made it far enough to lift my hand to his chest. Ford wrapped a warm, too-large hand around my wrist, anchoring me to the spot. “Sky and Shadow are probably getting a little antsy. I’ll finish up with Roger while you make sure they’re okay.”
I was hearing words, and knew what they were and what they meant, but I was struggling to actually process anything while it felt like my pulse was trying to punch its way out of my wrist and into his fingers.
Ford’s amused patience irritated me enough to gain an inch of sanity back. He leaned close and I made myself stay still. I couldn’t jerk back with disgust in Roger’s presence.
No signs of weakness, even in front of an old friend.
“Maybe I’ll even swipe that pretty necklace you were looking at in the last shipment. Surely that’s sufficient payment for our troubles.”
I swallowed thickly, hating the thrill that rolled over my skin from being the subject of Ford’s teasing attention.
He opened his mouth again, right as his eyes dropped to my neck and collarbones. I just knew he was about to make some sly comment, and I didn’t think I could handle that with decorum.
I placed my hands on his chest, patting twice with flexed fingers, so that the hard bones of my knuckles smarted his sternum. His smirk only widened.
“If you don’t come back with that necklace, I’ll be very, very upset with you.” I was already very, very upset with him, but now I could at least get something out of it.
Stepping away, I was nearly forced to go crashing back into him when something tugged at my midsection, like someone had looped a rope around me and yanked me toward him.
Hoping he didn’t notice me wobbling, I took another, careful step away and tossed Roger a smile over my shoulder before making my way back up the steps.
I felt eyes on me, starting near my shoulders then sliding down my back and to the curve of my ass as I made my way up the stairs.
By the time I popped back onto the main floor, my chest was tight with exertion, though I should have been able to climb a hundred flights of stairs without much effort.
My hands were numb and tingling as I walked towards the door, making sure my footsteps were heavier than normal so that Ford and Roger could hear them downstairs. Going through the motions of opening the door than closing it, I paused for a beat, looking at the empty bar in front of me.
Chairs were still pushed back from one table in particular, scattered around in a manner that made me think people had pushed back from them quickly.
Probably when I’d gotten here.
Stepping over on my toes to obscure my footsteps, I paused at the table, cataloging what I could with what little time I had.
Though a scattered mass of stimuli tried to grab hold of my focus, I pushed those observations into the passive part of my mind.
Something else was deserving of my attention right now.