Chapter 15
Ford
I was having a hard time maintaining my fear about being led to our collective, very painful deaths.
It was difficult to have any sort of care for my life when I was watching Esme catalog everything she witnessed with wide, observant eyes.
A weaker person would have fallen right into the embrace of that warm brown, dead to anything else in the world. Thank God for Shadow, or else I’d be falling right off her back in a poor attempt to reach for Esme.
It was…damnit, I’d never had unrestricted access to her while she discovered something. I mean, I’d seen her look at a necklace made of the most precious stones across two planets and snatch it up like it was her firstborn child.
That was one type of wonder, but this…
Make it last, the Bond commanded. I didn’t need to bow to it, I’d already decided that.
As we’d taken off into the Muli countryside, the sprawling hills we’d known for so long started to sharpen.
We breezed right past Pax, leaving the only town we’d ever seen right behind, following the gushing river that cut through our camp, snaked around the slope of a hill a few miles downstream, then looped through the border town.
The ground beneath us started slanting upward at a more treacherous angle. Esme’s mouth had opened ever so slightly as she cataloged the trees around us, growing sparser with each handful of distance we gained.
The river started to rush faster and rougher. When the spray started to get so intense that it cast us all in a light sheen of water, Esme wiped her face dry with a relieved sigh. That sound did something odd to my stomach.
Well, I knew exactly what it did, but to give it a name would cause a series of thoughts that were inappropriate to entertain given the situation, and surely would set the Bond off on a lengthy, feral scream.
By the lack of tension in my limbs, you’d think that we were on our way to a secluded campsite with our oldest friends, not being led to an unfamiliar town with limited weapons and five other allies.
Though I was strongly considering ignoring that fact—especially if I was nearing death—and continuing to unabashedly stare at Esme, I decided that I had to at least try to be good at my job and focus on the Muli soldiers surrounding us.
Elijah was at the front, not even bothering to look back at us. The normally lazy set of his shoulders was gone, replaced with a near-perfect riding stance—if not a little too tense. The type that came from being slightly scared of your steed.
Flanking both his sides, but a few steps back, was that soldier who’d stared a little too long at Esme when we’d first arrived—Push him off his horse, the Bond cut in—and another soldier I knew was named Bridgers.
Bellamy and Soren were following close behind, and I caught a moment where their eyes connected and held for a moment. I was sure Soren was still reeling a bit from seeing Carson, his brother who betrayed him.
If I knew him well at all, he was probably considering how likely Peter was to just execute him. Bellamy probably reminded him that wouldn’t do his conscience much good in the long run.
I commended Bellamy for her control. Though Soren and Carson had been the platonic sort of Match, a brotherhood stronger than most blood bonds, I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be confronted with your Soul Mate’s former Match, especially after Carson’s betrayal.
At least Carson had the decency to cover up his Mark now, a large tree that covered most of his back.
He and Soren had been a ninety-nine percent match, damn near twins, but if you looked hard enough, there would be slight differences in their Marks.
I’d caught Bellamy staring at Carson’s back more than once, as if she was looking for those very differences herself.
Prove that Soren was really hers.
There was never any doubt about that. That dumbass was besotted with her from the first second they breathed the same air again.
My eyes shifted over to Bridgers, who I just now noticed had a Mark on his own back—a simple, if not slightly muddled, outline of a bird. Odd, that his Match wasn’t with the unit, but then again, something may well have happened. War didn’t bode all that well for longevity.
I wouldn’t be all that surprised. He looked a little uncomfortable. The Bond took a moment to chastise me for judging him, reminding me that I would feel the same if separated from Esme.
Even then, Bridgers was shifting back and forth on the back of his horse, straightening then relaxing.
I looked over to Esme, finding that the wonder in her eyes had sharpened into observation. She was also looking at Bridgers, though when she felt me looking at her again, her eyes shifted back.
Esme’s eyes narrowed, her chin tilting slightly to the left. You see that, too?
One, nearly imperceptible dip of my chin said, Yes. But why?
There was a quick exchange between us, which brought us to the conclusion that I’d watch our surroundings in case Bridgers was anticipating an ambush while Esme would watch him.
I took a slow path down my left side, trailing the river bank and the sharp rocks it crashed against, before moving fully over my shoulder. Anya, Elijah’s right hand who was deceptively sweet-looking, and I caught her right as her gaze snapped away from me and towards the woods.
Ah, so she’d been looking at us. And why did I get the sense that she’d noticed that we’d been silently communicating?
It really wasn’t that special, a skill easily built from working together for nearly a decade. The only special part about it was the screaming entity in my head. That, and the fact that with every passing moment, I felt that otherworldly tether to Esme strengthen.
It had been barely two days since it first appeared. It might have been concerning that it had grown so fast—actually it was concerning.
I’d cornered Soren the previous night, forcing him to answer my questions where the Bond was concerned. He seemed all too happy to answer, if not to make fun of me for my impending demise, as he described it.
Though there were plenty of questions that resulted in him shaking his head with a laugh and answering, “Hell no, you have to learn that for yourself,” he’d been forthcoming about one thing.
We had been sipping on some Muli whiskey I’d stolen when Esme had trotted by on Sky’s back, trailing after Freya to go on a quick run.
The glass I’d been holding had landed on the ground, spilling liquid gold like it cost nothing, and I’d been out of my seat on instinct, the tether between us snapping tight.
That little display had prompted me to ask Soren how much the Bond influenced you. If it made you crazy or just preyed on your existing insanity.
I wasn’t sure what I was looking to hear, but Soren’s answer made it worse.
“It’s part of you,” he’d said, eyes unfocused on the horizon.
I had a feeling that somewhere in the direction he was looking, Bellamy was there.
“It will enhance, guide. But it doesn’t make shit up.
It might seem like it is, if something is really repressed.
But I’ve learned it has a stronger connection to my subconscious than I do.
You’re still in control, especially where timing is concerned—trust me, that thing does not care about decorum—but it won’t make you think something that isn’t at least a little bit true. ”
The problem was, I didn’t think Esme was prepared to deal with what was coming up on my end.
Nervousness was one thing, this was uncharted territory for both of us. But she looked terrified. Jumping on her would make things no better, and she wouldn’t believe me that the Bond had simply ripped the lid off of every repressed thought I’d had over the years.
This had to be on her terms, even if it meant I had to put myself between her and the Bond and let it rail against me. Small price to pay, seeing as she’d done the same.
In a sick part of my brain, I was happy I didn’t know.
I didn’t think I would have been able to handle the Bond, not at the beginning.
In the state I was in, filled with anger and resentment, the Bond would have latched onto Esme as the only bright part of my life and formed some toxic, codependent obsession with her.
No, no, this was good. I could handle this now, make sure she wasn’t inadvertently hurt by anything. I’d had a rough go of it, but she hadn’t lived an easy life either.
The Bond seemed to sense my determination, knowing it was Esme’s well-being that was on the other side of this, and curled up to sleep in the back of my mind.
It should get rest while it could, because the trail around us was starting to shape up. What was once a wide expanse of well-traveled dirt was starting to narrow and curve intentionally—a sure-fire sign we were close to a town.
“We’re about a half hour’s ride away from Salona,” Elijah called from the front, humor thick in his voice. Oh, I was sure he loved knowing that we were all on edge.
“Just checking, should I start saying my goodbyes?” Bellamy asked him, voice crystal clear. If she was scared, she hid it expertly.
Elijah threw a hand over his heart. “You peg me for a liar? That would not be very diplomatic of me if I broke the promise of our Prince now would it?”
“There is a five inch scar on her leg from your last broken promise,” Soren bit out.
Elijah moved his eyes to Soren slowly, an intentional choice to emphasize how unbothered he was by the threat in Soren’s tone. “I do believe you should be thankful for said broken promise or your paranima would be on her way to a marriage with someone else.”
Soren grumbled, but ultimately couldn’t argue with that logic.
“As I was saying,” Elijah continued, his voice drawing out dramatically. “You will be introduced to the Prince upon our arrival.”
“You make it sound so blissfully simple,” Bellamy said, her voice bright, as if she was telling a joke.
Elijah shrugged, that infuriating nonchalance again. “I find that most things are. I don’t have a taste for the dramatic.”
Esme’s snort from my side made my lip curl up in response. Elijah had a lazy air about him, but not that of a simple man. One of a king that draped himself over his throne while he made court jesters dance for him.
That fact was evidenced by the look he shot Esme after her short laugh, a dark stare that would come before a ship captain told you to walk the plank.
Elijah’s head snapped to me a second later, and it was only then that I felt the rumbling of my throat, still vibrating from the low growl that had jumped out of it. His lips turned down in an interested pout and I had half the mind to smack that expression right off his face.
I turned to Esme, if not to ask her for permission to do so, and found her cheeks warming with a blush. That dusty pink again, more beautiful than that of sunsets or roses or any damn thing I could think of.
My back straightened, chest puffing up with pride, and I leveled my gaze back at Elijah.
He only spared us another, all-too-interested look before turning forward again.
I wouldn’t be the one to shatter this thin extension of diplomacy, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t let Elijah trample all over us.
I wouldn’t be the person leading the charge on negotiations, but I could protect, observe.
Those were far more enticing roles, anyway.
I had no interest in the politics of it all, and had been largely spared from it—a consequence of the suppressed Bond.
No one wanted to fawn all over paranimas who didn’t fulfill their fantasy of obsessed lovers.
Ha, the Bond barked into my head. Very funny. Just you wait.
I responded with a grumbled, I know, well aware of what was happening and finding little objection to it—hell, some might say excitement.
The Bond seemed to respond better to not yet than it did to not ever, which I imagined was a great deal of the reason it had wreaked such havoc on Esme. She had no end in sight.
I did. She would too.
As if knowing where my thoughts had shifted, Shadow craned her neck towards Sky, licking up his neck in a rare show of affection. My sweet girl was shy, but no less attached to her hyperactive mate than he was to her.
I smiled down at them, then kept it in place as I turned toward Esme. She blinked a few times, her eyes growing slightly haunted, but there was a ghost of a smile playing on her lips in return.
Good. Progress.
Just then, our path took a noticeable curve to the left, away from the gushing river and deeper into the woods. My senses sharpened on instinct, taking in every new thing, down to the bugs flying across my vision.
As we turned, the mountainside we were comfortably climbing up slanted nearly vertical—seemingly out of nowhere. The clouds and water spray must have obscured it, but now, there was no hiding the sharp jut of gray rock towering over already massive trees.
It was the type of beauty that made all of it worth the risk, the type that sent people on treacherous climbs just to be one of the few to lay their eyes on something that spectacular.
And if I was in awe to this degree…
My God.
Shadow saved me from falling right off her back, skipping a step to jostle me back to focus.
The sun was breaking through the trees, painting Esme’s face in light like the Goddess herself had guided those rays into place.
Her eyes were highlighted, sparkling nearly gold with wonder and light.
Little dots of sun placed tiny spotlights on each of her soft freckles, revealing even a few I hadn’t cataloged.
There was a larger swash of light over her lips, making them look so inviting I had to clench down on my jaw until I heard teeth crack.
Something foreign, a pleasure edged with the tiniest trickle of pain, punched me right in the gut. Like the ache of well-used muscles while lying in a soft bed.
The assault on my body and mind only continued as the tree line broke, exploding the horizon into a wide basin with a sprawling town nestled right in the center.