Chapter 31 #2
I rolled my forehead against his, trying to maintain some form of composure, but failing spectacularly.
I had the deepest urge to try and crawl into his skin.
“I thought that if you could take that suppressant…” Ford’s hands tightened around my back in silent protest. He was right.
He knew what I’d been trying to do well enough.
Maybe later on, I could try to convince him that he might have done the same—anything to try and keep me alive.
For now, I focused on what would chase away the pain still lingering in his expression. “I wanted that to be the last thing I said to you. How much I love you, how I would go through this all again just to know you, how I would miss—”
This time, Ford’s mouth was more insistent, a little rougher. There was even a scrape of his teeth against my lower lip. When he spoke, his words sounded like they punched their way out of his throat. “You really need to stop reminding me what just happened. I feel like I’m going insane.”
I smiled against his mouth, too quick for him to notice and causing him to lick across my teeth. That only made me let out a laugh that some might have considered a giggle. “With…love?”
Ford’s answering smile was a little lopsided, pulling wider on the side without the scar. “Among other things. You should hear the Bond right now.”
“I’m sure it’s having a field day,” I said, considering that the Bond on my end was currently engaging in a performance that could only be described as acrobatic. “But I’m more interested in what you are thinking.”
There was something in Ford’s expression that made me think he hadn’t quite believed me until now. Or maybe he did, but this was the final tip over the edge that he needed, the reassurance that I wanted him, not that I was bowing to the Bond.
He kissed me soundly on the mouth. “I’m thinking that I love you.
” Another one, on my right cheek. “That you are my favorite person in the world.” This time the left.
“That you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid eyes on.
” He fell to his knees then, taking my right hand in his and kissing the snake inked into the back of it.
“That I’m glad our Mark is so big, that’s there’s no mistaking I belong to you.
” His mouth transferred over to my left hip, where the end of our Mark curled in.
I really didn’t know how he expected me to stay standing.
I didn’t drop to my knees so much as I fell right on top of him, my arms going around his shoulders and my mouth falling to his in a sloppy kiss that lasted no more than a second before I was grabbing his face in my hands and planting scattered pecks over every inch while repeating, “Love you. Love you. Love you,” until he believed me.
He clearly felt something, because on about the ninth kiss, Ford hauled me to my feet and took a healthy step back.
I had no idea why he was stopping, my only thought that he expected someone to come bother us. “I think everyone will give us some time, don’t you?”
Ford smiled, seemingly despite himself and whatever internal battle with control he was fighting.
Unfortunately for him, I still had a very physical reaction to his full-bodied smile and I felt a fiery blush bloom from my hairline down to my toes. My heart rate took off and I brought a hand to my chest, if not to try and keep it from exploding.
Ford’s eyes followed the movement, then his attention settled on my neck and his smile fled.
God damnit. I was going to have to full-scale seduce him, wasn’t I?
Bringing his hands up to my face—far more gently than I would have preferred at the moment—Ford said, “I almost lost you. I just got you.”
Now, I was really worried my heart was going to pop out of my chest. I didn’t think the knife to my throat hurt this much. “Ford, you always had me.” I felt a tear slip out, catching on the side of Ford’s thumb.
He shook his head, his fingers pressing into the back of my head. “No. I want you honest and I want you happy.” Seemingly despite himself, he leaned down to kiss me. “I earned you this time.”
“You have me,” I said, my face slick with tears. I repeated it against the skin of his cheek, his jaw, his neck, each time a little more hurried.
Ford’s hands gently moved my face away, so that he could lick a path up my cheek, taking my tears with him.
He was so gentle, so intentional, that it only brought more tears to my eyes. At his horrified expression, I said, “Give me something else to focus on, then.”
“You’re hurt,” he protested, even as his other hand moved down my back and over my ass, squeezing once.
“The doctor said I was fine,” I returned the same move on him, pulling our hips flush together.
“I can still hear it in your voice, Esme,” Ford weakly protested.
I bit him on the side of the jaw, earning a sharp exhale that made my insides feel like liquid fire.
“My voice will just sound like this now.” There was a little part of me that wondered if he didn’t like it, then I remembered the scar that ran down his face.
That scar didn’t change the way I loved him, so I could only trust that it would be the same with his love for me.
“Make me feel better,” I said against the skin of his neck, not caring how much it sounded like I was begging. “Please. We can go slow.”
I felt Ford’s laugh against my temple. “Esme…”
Well, clearly I was going to have to take matters into my own hands. I stepped away from him, almost losing focus at the adorably offended look that crossed his face. He was downright pouting.
By the time I’d ripped the flannel over my head—his shirt, handed to me before I left the hospital by Bellamy with a knowing look on her face—exposing my bare chest and our Mark, Ford’s expression had quickly dropped into desire.
“If you don’t come over here right now, I’m taking my pants off next.”
Ford scoffed, a cocky grin curving his mouth. “Don’t take that privilege away from me.”
Pride split my lips into a wide smile. One that was quite quickly kissed right off my face.
I wasn’t sure quite how we got there, but suddenly we were on the floor and I was straddling his thighs. My hips were rolling down, seeking any sort of friction. Lucky for me, they found it in the zipper of Ford’s jeans, a spot that only grew harder with the growing pressure behind it.
“I love you,” I said into Ford’s mouth, feeling my body run away from me a little. My hands were all over him, pawing and grasping messily.
Ford smiled, knocking our teeth together, before his hands settled on my hips, forcing them into a slower, controlled roll that made stars spark behind my eyes.
There were still so many things I wanted to do with him, to him, make him do to me. Ford could feel that panicky eagerness in my movements and kept my movements brutally slow.
He was hard already and with each press of my hips downward, he hit a bullseye of sensation that made a moan slip from my mouth.
I was so focused on trying to fuse our mouths together that my orgasm took me by surprise, hitting me with a sharp spike of pleasure that had me biting down on Ford’s lower lip.