Chapter 17 #2
There was something here more serious than he was letting on, but I didn’t want to push him. Earning his trust without magic had been infinitely more empowering than the use of any spell. “I’m sorry to hear it. What do you think the people need?”
He scratched his head and wiped his hands again.
“Money is tight, but the peasants aren’t treated unjustly.
Maybe what Darreth needs is a lady’s touch.
We haven’t had a queen in two decades. Some’ve even said the island is cursed until one kingdom finally gets a proper one…
I think it’s just that when you get too many menfolk together, all you get is answers that require a fist or a tool, not smiles like the one you just gifted me with. ”
I tucked the parsnip back among its brethren, smiling again just as he’d suggested.
“I’m here to help,” I assured him. I thought of asking him how he felt about the princes, but I didn’t want to make him feel trapped to answer if he felt unhappy with his monarchs.
At last, he bowed his head slowly. “Well…my lady, then you’ll find no shortage of folk with something to say to someone as pleasant as you. You’ll get the truth of it between the words.”
I understood that the facts were always beneath what we said far better than he knew. I smiled, dipping my own head in acknowledgment. “Sound advice. Thank you.”
As I turned to leave, Catrin inched closer, her voice low. “You handled that beautifully.”
My pulse was still quick, my palms damp, but I managed a steady breath and murmured back, “I was terrified!”
I worried a part of me would always be afraid. But I’d been through more changes over the past few weeks, the past few days, than I ever thought I could make it through. And I’d done this without relying on my power.
Being the center of attention meant I couldn’t hide behind my magic. And I’d already promised myself that I’d decide how I was used. Choosing integrity over manipulation would be a big part of that.
As we walked on, his words stuck in my mind, refusing to let go. Taxes for the northern border. Problems with Gelida. Chancellor Maeron had mentioned nothing of military problems in Darreth. The farmer hadn’t given me any facts, but he’d given me the first clues to where they might be buried.
As we rounded a corner, a toddler stumbled onto the path between stalls.
The adorable little boy was giggling, radiating simple joy, as a harried-looking woman about my age ran after him.
Without thinking, I bent over and scooped him up, his small, warm weight carrying memories of my younger brothers and sisters.
The weight of the boy in my arms hit harder than I expected—it felt like holding my own past and the possibility of my own stifled future.
If the Assembly deemed me unfit to raise their protégé, they’d rip my child from my arms. I fought back tears, acutely aware of the guards’ shocked gazes on me.
To them, my behavior was probably odd, given my supposed status as a high lady.
The boy’s mother sighed in relief as she realized a kind stranger had stopped the prolonged chase. Then she took in the armed men, my dress, and Catrin standing beside me, and her eyes went wide with surprise.
The sheer terror that blossomed around her made it seem like her heart had stopped beating. “My lady, oh my, I’m so, so sorry. He’s just learned to run.”
Gods above and below, she must’ve thought they’d be punished for disrupting our progress.
“It’s no problem at all,” I tried to reassure her with a disarming smile, handing over her son. “I haven’t held a little one in too long. I should be thanking you for the opportunity. He’s a joy.”
She curtseyed, boy back to drooling in her arms. Her eyes were rimmed red from sleeplessness. Curiosity and a need to understand made me bold.
“Is your husband on the border too?” It was a wild guess.
She curtseyed again. Feeling the chasm my title created, I finally understood Nisien’s request to avoid that particular act of deference.
“Yes, my lady,” she answered. “Called north last week with several others. He’ll rotate home before summer ends.”
The boy was already squirming in her arms, so I wished her well and moved on, the encounter settling heavily in my chest.
There was another section selling meat and seafood, beyond that woodcraft and building supplies.
I talked to a few more merchants, hearing similar tales to the farmer’s.
The people of Tir Darreth didn’t walk around in fear like they had in Caervorn, but there was a slight undercurrent of unhappiness.
The road back to the castle was just as difficult to climb as I’d feared.
Bits of mud clung to the hem of my gown, the violet silk growing heavier with every step.
Catrin walked slightly ahead in quiet conversation with one of the leading guards.
Romantic interest pulsed between them, but I would keep my mouth shut on the topic until she was ready to tell me.
Having a secret window into people’s private lives was a power I took seriously—I’d felt enough pain to not want to be the one causing it.
One of the rear guards, a dark-haired man with a scar running across his nose, matched his pace to mine.
“First diplomat I’ve escorted that spent their time talking to the people, my lady,” he said. His tone was light, but his emotions were cautious, probing to see how I’d react.
I chuckled. “Thought I’d sit in the castle and wait for reports?”
“That’s what all of them have done so far,” he replied honestly.
I bet they did. I smiled faintly. “Then perhaps the Assembly should’ve sent a lady sooner.”
He gave a surprised laugh. “You’ll do well here, I think. Darreth respects plain speech, even when it’s wrapped in a pretty package.”
Maybe the guard was right. Maybe diplomacy was the truth, disguised with just enough delicacy to be easily digested.
The Assembly wanted one king on the throne.
But the stability of the crown didn’t depend on the man who wore it; it depended on the people who upheld it.
A king with a starving, fearful populace was a king on a throne of kindling.
The choice of the best man would depend on who could bring that woman’s husband home quickly and stabilize trade, not the arbitrary fancies of the mages.
It was a terrifying, revolutionary thought, but one of which I felt utterly certain.
I needed to learn more about Nisien and Emrys to understand what made them who they are. Nisien would almost certainly be open with me, but Emrys would just as certainly keep me at arm’s length.
When the gates thudded shut behind us, I turned once to look down at the winding streets. The market’s colors had dimmed in the distance, but the city still echoed under my skin.
That had been…nice. I already felt less like an intruder in this kingdom. But after hearing the worries of a farmer and a soldier’s wife, a new, growing feeling was already taking root within me: duty.
But also possibility. Maybe, just maybe, this was where my voice started to matter.