Chapter 36
Emrys
The relentless pounding on my door, barely an hour after our meeting with Isca, could only have been made by the metallic clang of a sword pommel slamming on wood. The rhythm of Nisien’s vehemence was nothing short of a war drum.
I opened it to have a sword slice through the air into the space where my neck had been half a second before I jumped back. Bloody idiot. If Isca’s magic weren’t still thrumming under my skin, the curse surely would’ve retaliated for that.
Nisien’s voice was deathly quiet, lacking the usual lightheartedness that characterized him. “What did you do?”
My gut clenched. He knew or had guessed too much. I’d successfully avoided this conversation for a week, but now the debt was coming due.
“Hello, brother,” I said instead, holding the door open. “Come in. Let’s not add hallway theatrics to today’s list of my embarrassments.”
He let out a single, hearty laugh. “For once, you’ve become the measured one. Just don’t murder me in your room. I hope to die in my own bed, under a beautiful woman.”
I let out an aggrieved breath and closed the door behind him.
Nisien’s face hardened as soon as the door was shut.
His eyes blazed as he unleashed his rare fury upon me, sword still in hand.
“What did you do to Isca, Emrys? Should I expect an entire legion of Assembly mages to arrive on our doorstep within the fortnight to deal with you? I’m at the point I’d allow them to take you. ”
The last hit me with all the force of a sledgehammer on overheated metal. He wasn’t a cruel man. He knew how much I hated them, so he was well and truly angry this time.
I’d already imagined my death at Assembly hands a dozen times. I could already smell the blood, the smoke, knowing the curse wouldn’t relinquish its host without a ruthless battle. Too many men would die to take down one man who hardly deserved to live.
I was too hard to kill. Cursed gods knew I’d tried enough times through my recklessness already. The effects of the curse were visible in the scars covering my body. Each stood as a testament to the unnatural, undeserved resilience it granted me.
As I faced down my brother’s wrath, I realized how exhausted from everything I truly was.
I had resolved not to be an animal around Isca ever again.
And then the way Nisien had touched her was like a spark, reigniting the fire of jealousy in me.
It pushed me to throw myself at him or run from the room.
Had she not already been offering the balm of her magic, I shuddered to imagine what I would’ve done.
Now I crossed the room and slumped into the chair at my writing desk. The rest of the lavender I’d had brought in still sat there in a vase of water. Nisien’s eyes drifted to it immediately.
His brow furrowed, and he pointed. “Was that…an apology?”
“You are intelligent.” I sneered, one hand propping up my head on the tabletop. “It’s what’s left of one.”
Less aggressively this time, Nisien repeated, “What did you do, Emrys?”
I’d slaughtered armies without blinking. Torn men apart with my bare hands. And yet this—I could not speak it aloud. The rotten core within my chest locked up, and my mouth went dry.
I rubbed at my temples. Eventually I said, “I questioned the Assembly’s ulterior motives for sending her specifically. I was…not entirely myself at the time.”
“Emrys.” Nisien inhaled deeply. “Tell me you did not call her a whore.”
“I did not.”
“Well, that’s something, at least. I’m glad I don’t have to challenge my own brother to a duel to defend her honor.” He paused. “How was it resolved?”
“She kneed me in the balls.” I wanted to laugh or cry. Probably both. “And I sent her a letter asking for her forgiveness.”
Nisien’s jaw nearly dislocated. “Why were you close enough that she could reach your manhood with her knee?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“I think it does,” Nisien argued.
“Because you want her?” The words were out before I could reel them back.
“Maybe.” He gritted his teeth and looked away. “I don’t know.”
That made one of us. I’d never been more certain of my attraction to anyone in my life. Every fiber of my being, even my magic, thrummed with the need to be near her.
Her sharp mind, her patience, kindness, and overwhelming compassion drove me to want to hold her and never let go. I needed more of everything she represented in my life.
The problem was the monster’s capriciousness when it came to Isca.
One moment it wanted me to lash out at her with my words, the next, it wanted to possess and dominate her.
Only during today’s meeting did it sit relatively calmly, not resisting her magic.
Likely, it was still full from the bloodlust I’d recently satisfied.
I had no choice but to remain vigilant around her.
Unaware of my inner conflict, Nisien continued. “From the beginning, I suspected Maeron sent her here to tempt us both. She’s unmarried, intelligent, and beautiful. He must’ve known he was sending a flame into a dry woodpile when he sent her to work directly with two bachelor princes.”
Yet again, I hadn’t given my brother enough credit. He was far cleverer than he put on a show of being.
“She’s not Maeron’s pawn. Not willingly, at least. There’s…” I hesitated, “…something I haven’t told you yet.”
Nisien let out a long-suffering sigh. “Who did you kill?”
Of course he would jump to the most extreme thing. Unfortunately, he was right. “A spy sent by the Assembly.”
His voice, laced with anger and surprise, suddenly boomed. “A what?”
“He was skulking in Isca’s rooms at the end of the festival. Timed his incursion well.”
“What did he want?”
“I—” Shame caught my voice for a long moment. “Didn’t ask… Couldn’t.”
A string of expletives, cursing the gods, me, Maeron, people in general—even dogs, for some reason—came spewing out of ever-proper Nisien’s mouth.
I waited it out, knowing he’d calm long before I would have.
“Well, at least we haven’t been questioned about it,” he said finally, fumbling with a scrap of paper on my desk. “Hopefully, they worry something happened to him on the road.”
I winced. “Doubtful. He was a powerful mage.”
Nisien put his head in his hands. “Emrys. I have aged ten years since you’ve returned home. Now this…”
“But don’t you wonder why they sent a spy? I can’t piece it together myself. Do you think they know of our plan in motion?”
“I doubt it. Our men haven’t reached the city yet.
And I couldn’t know more without going through her correspondence,” Nisien said, quietly.
“Maybe she’s defied them in some way. But I think we need to sit on this to see what happens.
There must be something they’re planning that we don’t know about…
I felt the magic she used on you during the meeting. It worked?”
I nodded.
Rising abruptly, Nisien slapped his knees. “Then I’m glad the two of you have come to an understanding. But, Emrys,” he looked at me squarely, “the second you hurt her or anyone who doesn’t deserve it, I’ll be the one who stops you. I won’t hesitate.”
My lips formed a thin line. “I know.”
Little did he know that I’d cut the beast out of my own chest before I would ever force him into committing fratricide.