Chapter 44
Isca
The sun hadn’t yet risen when I woke, leaving the tent cloaked in the pre-dawn stillness I’d always loved. I felt safe, cloistered away from the world.
Part of that safe feeling was probably from the fact that I’d woken up with Emrys’s arm across my waist, my back pressed tightly to his body. It didn’t take brilliant powers of deduction to realize how I, and my entire bedroll, had ended up there so neatly—he’d shown me just last night.
Weeks of comfortable living had softened me. The haven of soft pillows and warm blankets in the castle was a luxury I’d grown far too used to. Now, my back was screaming at me to move to relieve the pressure of the hard ground, but I didn’t want to wake Emrys. I shifted slightly, carefully.
But his arm tightened, pulling me in closer instead. A rigid length pressed into my thighs from behind. It ignited a hidden part of me, rousing it from a deep sleep.
His growl had surprised me the night before, but this marked the second time I felt like I understood the need to make the sound. The desire to push against him, to feel pressure and friction against my skin, was overwhelming.
I had to get out of the circle of his arms.
But how could I escape unnoticed? I scooted my hips, hoping to slink out in a way that would allow his arm to fall gracefully.
But moving only made the warm bulge brush against my most sensitive parts.
The heat growing low in my belly got worse.
So I squeezed my thighs tight, struggled not to squirm, and tried to will the feeling away.
If I could just wait it out, I was certain it would disappear.
Several minutes of suffering later, I decided to wake him up so I could get away from the source of my current throbbing dilemma.
I turned toward Emrys, his arms still a cage of warmth and muscle around me, hoping my shifting would be enough to rouse him from sleep.
It did. In more ways than one. He grew impossibly harder. Except now, because of my shifting, the part of him that was the cause of all my current problems was wedged between the front of my thighs, escalating the ache there to an unbearable level.
Drowsy blue eyes opened and pinned me in place as effectively as his arms.
“Good morning,” I croaked, my throat tight with trepidation as a nervous sweat broke out over my palms.
Instead of answering, Emrys moved to pull back. Under normal circumstances, I’d have been very grateful for his thoughtfulness. But I was in a state of frenzy, and my body betrayed my good sense—again.
I lifted my chin and, gods, I pressed my lips to his. The second my tongue begged for entry, there was no turning back.
He answered by pulling me even closer. Leaning into the motion, I tilted my pelvis to capture every bit of his heat. Where he’d kissed me like a man starved of hope during the cave-in, I now kissed him like a woman desperate for everything he could offer.
His skin carried the primal scent that was uniquely Emrys. I wanted to nuzzle into it. For a long time, we just kissed, not needing anything more than our bodies pressed together.
Until he shifted. I couldn’t contain my moan as the slight movement sent waves of pleasure rippling through my core. Something about him always seemed to send molten heat straight to my belly, but this was something else.
Emrys immediately pulled away, eyes frantic. Brushing a strand of hair from my face, he asked, “Isca, did I hurt you? I’m sorry, I—”
“No!” I whispered as loudly as I dared. He was trying to pull away again when I wanted the exact opposite. I dragged him back with two trembling hands.
Still wild-eyed, he asked, “Then what is it?”
I let out a slow breath as I averted my gaze. “I…don’t know what to do, Emrys. The sound I made wasn’t from you hurting me.” My cheeks were ablaze. “It was from the exact opposite.”
The stunned “Oh” that slipped out of his mouth was undeniably endearing. But he still didn’t move a muscle.
More truth then. “I liked it quite a lot when you moved against me like that.”
After the words were out of my mouth, I felt a strange mix of relief at finally giving voice to my desire but also a pang of embarrassment.
While he seemed to feel the same way, the thought of his rejection always lingered in the back of my mind because he spent so much of his time closed off from me.
But there was no second adorable “Oh.” There was only my weight being lifted. Before I knew what was happening, I was on top of him, straddling his hips. His length was trapped between our clothes but still pressing on my most delicious spot.
“Kiss me,” he pleaded, gaze still burning with that desperate fire.
Looking down into his eyes, I faced a critical decision.
I could stop right then, never kiss him again, and leave things between us as they were.
He would keep his distance if I asked. Or I could continue kissing Emrys, surrendering to whatever he had planned, knowing I’d be sharing myself with the curse as well.
It didn’t take much thought to realize I’d already made this decision days ago when I’d packed that red dress.
I wanted him. Emrys had captivated me, just as he was, without alterations, curse and all, since the beginning. He might call himself a monster, but the rasp of his voice and the fire in his gaze still drew me in. I wanted nothing more than to surrender to it, to him.
I leaned down, and the intensity of our kissing reignited, with me now atop him. Except his hands moved down to my hips. What was he—?
Oh.
I’d said, I liked it when you moved against me like that. Now he was turning my words into reality.
His hands on my hips pulled then pushed. He applied gentle downward pressure with the movement, moving me up and down the full length of his arousal.
Shivers ran down my spine as I let out another low, breathless sound.
“More?” That one-word question conveyed more meaning than I’d ever imagined.
“Yes.”
And then I was on my back, him braced on one elbow beside me. My soft nightgown still covered my body, but the heat of his hand seared through it when he slid his palm down to cup me.
He paused, and at my nod, he drew circles with a gentleness I hadn’t known he was capable of as he devoured my mouth.
A moment of intimacy with Emrys had played in my mind once or twice—a foolish, guilty fantasy. But I’d never imagined it would be this way. It felt as if we were always meant to be here, doing exactly this. The small sounds I made came bubbling up from my soul as he alternated circles to petting.
I’d come from a life of constant reminders that I was unwanted and foreign in Caervorn. But with him, I wasn’t alone. I was wanted.
“Yes, that’s it exactly.” Emrys’s encouragement was a soft whisper in my ear between kisses. “Is this a good rhythm?”
I barely managed a “yes,” I was so lost to the sensations building in my body, even if he hadn’t even touched my skin with his own. I’d chosen a silk chemise last night—now I was thankful for its softness.
“So good.” He whispered into my ear as I caught my breath. “Isca, you’re perfect.”
Emrys didn’t vary the pace or demand more from me. He just kept massaging me as he claimed my mouth with his.
A whisper of the wild power I’d recognized as his curse brushed along my skin.
The sensation was like warm, blunt fingernails grazing the surface, making certain to reach every spot with its attention.
It wasn’t unpleasant, just…more. A reminder of the monster’s presence, almost as intimate as Emrys’s touch.
If hundreds of powerful mages across the islands and on the continent couldn’t figure out how to break the curse, I’d have to live with it, share myself with it in this way, if I wanted him.
And, oh, I wanted him.
It didn’t take long until I simmered like a pot of water on a fire stoked so high it was ready to boil over.
“What do I…” I couldn’t even finish the thought. The pressure was building so fast.
But Emrys seemed to know what I was asking. “Let it carry you away.”
As if that whisper had unlocked something within me, my magic swelled up, threatening to rip out of me in a shockwave of passion that would reach far beyond the four flimsy walls of our tent. So I hastily erected the walls that would keep my magic contained—just as my entire body convulsed.
A delicious, unbearable sensation erupted from my core, arching my back of its own accord. Emrys continued to massage as my thighs tried to clamp around his hand. The ward of silence erupted around us, just as my lips parted in a sound that slipped out before I could stop it.
Pleasure lapped at me like gentle waves on the shore.
When the pulsing subsided, I collapsed, boneless, under Emrys’s embrace. A heartbeat later, I nestled into his warmth, finding comfort and safety in his arms. Exactly where I wanted to be.
The hazy fog of pleasure in my mind lifted slightly as I came to, the sounds around me gradually resolving into the normal rhythm of the camp. I could hear the steady, rhythmic thud of his heart as I snuggled into his chest.
While I recovered, he marked a string of kisses across the light dew that had formed on my brow from my overheated body.
“Do you feel…better?” his low voice purred in my ear.
I took a heavy breath, drinking in the intoxicating scent of him. Then, a long, slow sigh escaped my lips before I managed a barely audible, “That was wonderful, Emrys.”
A deep, satisfied chuckle rumbled in his chest. “I take it you’re still a maiden.”
“Yes,” I muttered into his shirt. I was too tired, too blissfully languid to care about hiding the truth.
Even lower, he added, “You’re going to be the death of me.”
“I think that performance was evidence enough that you have experience,” I said with a grin.
A truly wicked smirk played across his lips. “Only a little.”
With a soft pop in my ears, the ward of silence disappeared. He shifted again, and I felt the unmistakable, still rigid pressure of him against me. I rolled over and tentatively moved my pelvis up and down, mimicking his earlier motions.
Another pop, and a second ward of silence bloomed around us. The complex magic seemed effortless in his hands.
A feral growl ripped from his throat. Once again, Emrys shifted. This time he balanced on two elbows atop me.
He pressed his face into my neck again, inhaling deeply as he trailed his lips across my skin. “Not satisfied yet, cariad?”
The affectionate nickname filled me with a comforting warmth that was accompanied by a rebuilding heat between my legs.
He thrust his hips forward between my thighs. With only our clothing between us, I felt that rigid pressure in the same place that had brought me so much pleasure only minutes before. A soft whimper escaped my lips.
“I didn’t know… Can I do that…again?”
I wanted nothing more than to get swept up in the pleasure I’d found in his arms. My entire body shuddered under him thinking of how he’d made me feel.
“Two more times before I leave this tent.” It sounded temptingly close to an order. The rest of his answer came out on a hushed snarl. “I need to see your face, taste you when you come for me again.” He gently sank his teeth into the crook of my neck.
With no warning, only a sudden, jerky movement, we went from building passion to him shifting his hips away from mine like lightning would arc between us if he remained too close.
“What’s wrong?” I couldn’t keep the note of alarm out of my voice.
Bracing himself on one arm, he kept the cold distance between our bodies. His face was flushed, as if he were holding himself back from something.
“Isca…” My name was a prayer and a curse at once. “I swear, if I stay pressed against you, I will lose all control. No, I will explode, destroying this tent, someone walking nearby…at the very least my trousers.”
It was my turn. I said softly, “Oh…”
I remembered the way he’d watched me for months now. That same smoldering look was back. Except now I could touch him in return, give him the same pleasure he’d given me.
“If I touched you, you could channel it into the ground.”
This time he gave a gulped, anguished warning. “Cariad…”
Regardless of our desires, the moment was ending. Duty, in the form of some unlucky soldier, scratched at his tent flaps like a hound begging to be loosed.
“If you open that,” Emrys growled at the outline of the visitor, “I will begin by burning your feet then move up your body inch by inch until you pass out.”
Gods above and below, I feared he meant it.
The soldier’s voice came from the other side of the fabric. “Apologies, Stormdan. We’re breaking camp.” The threat did not appear to surprise or even startle the soldier.
“Leave!” This time, the ground beneath us rumbled with Emrys’s words.
That did the trick.
I giggled as the man gave a startled jump, his silhouette a comical, jerky outline against the fabric.
I leaned in close and whispered in the small space between us, “You’re so mean.”
Emrys’s kiss was slow and deep, silencing my giggle completely.
Last night, my purpose had been to comfort him so he could fulfill his obligations.
But the morning had brought change, thanks to my honesty in claiming what I wanted.
During those stolen moments together, it felt like I wasn’t the peasant merchant pretending at being a lady, like he wasn’t the prince, or the cursed mage. He was mine.
And now it was settled. I had chosen him, curse and all. I didn’t know how I could ever let him go.