Chapter 62
Isca
Eventually Tegil’s eagerness won out over sentiment, and he decided it was time to head indoors.
“What’s the rush?” I asked, my face still tear-streaked.
He started pulling at my wrist, but Mama’s disapproving look was enough to make him shrink back. “He’s impatient to show you his room,” she answered.
“How long have you been here?”
Papa answered, “More than a week.”
They must’ve arrived just after I left to join the army.
I had so many questions, but I didn’t want to keep them standing outside to answer them. Even to my own ears, I sounded exhausted, but I had to keep up appearances. “Lead the way then, Tegil.”
Trailing a short distance behind, I saw how my gangly little brother was starting to fill out.
It had only been a couple of months, but his shoulders were noticeably broader, his legs longer.
Mama and Papa were also looking much healthier than the last time I’d seen them.
Her cheeks were rounded again, and I had a hard time not staring at Papa’s false leg.
It was astounding how naturally he walked now.
Even if I’d messed everything up with Emrys, at least I had this. At least the shackles on my wrists had done some good for my family. I couldn’t let them know that I was unraveling in secret, so I fortified my mental walls against my mother’s intrusion.
Each of them wore Darreth’s generosity, dressed much more richly than I’d ever seen them. Mama’s gown was a light green brocade. Papa wore a black tunic made of silk. Tegil donned a similar outfit to my father’s, but his tunic was a shade of green that reminded me of the northern forests.
Shadows in the form of two guards followed us with heavy footfalls. Their discipline was neat and practiced, but underneath all that, they were suspicious and watchful.
My skin prickled with their attention. They weren’t following us because we’d done anything wrong… They were protecting us. Since when had my family’s safety become a matter of state?
Tegil led me through the doorway Emrys had destroyed when I’d first stepped foot in the castle. Past the library, past the great hall, and straight instead of right where I usually traveled.
I’d never been in this area of the palace before. If my internal map was correct, we were in an offshoot of the family’s apartments. The corridor was shorter than the one I was used to traveling down, but the same sconces holding torches lined the stone walls next to more colorful tapestries.
Tegil pointed to two doors. “It’s smaller than Mama and Papa’s. But, Isca, I have my own room!”
His emotions pulsed with a youthful enthusiasm that reminded me of the bubbly feeling I’d had while walking through the library for the first time.
I gave the two guards who’d trailed us a sidelong glance.
Two pairs of eyes flicked to me, and as one they moved to take up positions, one on Tegil’s door, the other on my parents’.
“How about you show it to me later, Tegil?” I suggested. “I want to talk with Mama and Papa. Alone.”
“He has training anyway,” my father said. “Get changed, Tegil. You’re already behind the other boys. No need to add being late into the mix!”
Tegil pointed at me. “I have an excuse!”
“Inadequate preparation is never acceptable,” my father declared with another stern look for my crestfallen brother. “Get moving!”
I stifled a chuckle as Tegil darted through his bedroom door. “What training?”
“Let’s talk in our room,” Mama said, grabbing my hand and pulling me toward it. Wary confusion was pouring out of her.
Instead of allowing my mother to open her own bedroom door, the guardsman standing to my right stepped in front of her.
We abruptly stopped, waiting to see what was going to happen next.
He opened the door, stepped inside their room, did a full turn then walked back out stiffly.
He resumed his sentinel position outside, not meeting any of our eyes.
Bewildered by the behavior, I followed my mother, her pace now noticeably slower. What was going on? Why were guards trailing us in the castle? And what, in the name of magic, had that inspection of the room been about?
The interior of my parents’ room was nearly identical to mine, except that there was no door leading to the adjoining room like in the queen’s chambers.
On the table by the hearth sat a spread of fruit, bread, and cheese, with a carafe of mead glinting in the sunlight streaming through the open windows.
More of Darreth’s generosity, I thought bitterly.
Emrys had somehow brought my family out of Caervorn, draped them in luxury, and filled their bellies. While I’d stripped him down to nothing, possibly making his condition worse than it had been before.
Mama pulled out a chair for me, Papa for her.
The easy way they moved together was comforting in a way I hadn’t realized I’d needed until I sat down.
The three of us were quiet for a long minute as Mama started making me a plate of food.
My appetite was still nonexistent, but rejecting this offering from her would be tantamount to rejecting her love, so I took the plate with thanks and started nibbling.
Each bite was tasteless, wholly lacking in its usual joy.
“So…” My voice came out thinner than I’d intended. “How are you all here?”
They traded a glance. My father set down his cup, his false leg creaking softly as he shifted. “Ten guards wearing red and gold arrived in the middle of the night. Eyes bloodshot like they’d ridden with demons on their heels.”
“Before we could as much as say ‘good evening,’ they piled right in, packed in tight, and shut the door behind them,” my mother said as she passed my father a plate. “I thought for sure we were set to be murdered.”
Her hand trembled slightly before she stilled it in her lap. The memory still scared her, even though she was no longer afraid of the soldiers surrounding them.
My heart hammered. Soldiers in the middle of the night. Secrecy. “And then?”
Finishing his long gulp of mead, my father said, “Their captain said only that you were in danger. That if we stayed, you couldn’t be protected.” His eyes flicked to me, a bit of his old hardness returned. “So we left, no questions asked, one bag between us.”
Protect me? “But I wasn’t in danger…” I started, though even I could hear the lie.
The Assembly must’ve moved faster than I’d realized. Emrys and Nisien must’ve known.
My stomach turned, making me regret the few bites I’d managed so far.
Mama’s eyes sharpened with the same stern look she’d given Tegil earlier. “You’re telling me that the Assembly wasn’t using our safety to keep you in line? We’re poor, not stupid, Isca.”
Her words were sharper than any sword.
“And so you’re here,” I forced out.
Mama studied me, the way she always did when she suspected I was hiding something. “We’re safe because of you, love. The maid who cleans our rooms said that this is the dowager’s part of the castle.”
Papa refilled her cup. “Your brother trains with the squires half the day, the farm manager the other. He’s taking to the fighting work more than we expected.”
This was so much information, so fast. My mind was spinning. “Tegil has been busy, but what have you all done since you arrived?”
“Waited for you, mostly,” Mama said, brushing crumbs off her gown. “They had bolts of cloth waiting in our room. Our maid said they were for me to wile away the hours. I suppose you told someone I couldn’t sit still and that I enjoy needlework?” She raised one brow in question.
“I…talked about you all, of course.” My throat went dry.
I’d talked to Emrys about them during our hours of chatting those glorious few nights in the tent. He must’ve been corresponding with Nisien via couriers the whole time.
Papa’s voice broke the silence of my retreat into memory.
“For me, it was five days of fittings with an artificer and learning to use it.” He touched his false leg as if it were some holy relic.
“I tried to turn down Prince Nisien, but he is a hard man to deny. The joints are enchanted. It almost feels like walking with my own leg again, Isca.” The smile that spread across his face was as warm as his satisfaction at feeling close to whole again.
I should’ve been relieved. Instead, guilt carved into me. They’d given my father back his stride. And I’d given them both nothing but lies, doubt, and one broken heart.
Everything my parents had told me was happy news. But I still longed to pace away the restless weight in my chest. Or bury myself under the sheets in my bed and disappear. Or both.
I suppose I could understand why my family had been brought here. Neither Emrys nor Nisien wanted the Assembly to have any leverage. But why was my family staying inside the castle, and why was my brother joining the noble boys in training?
“Isca, how are you doing it?” Mama asked suddenly.
“Doing what?”
“You are as closed off as those mages from the fortress are sometimes. I can’t read you.”
“I can teach you to do it later, Mama. I was overwhelmed by the soldiers’ emotions when we returned and just kind of forgot about it,” I lied.
“Let’s do that.” She leaned in close, curiosity bright. “But…Isca, I think it’s your turn to answer some questions.”
I froze. Gods, I couldn’t do this, not right now.
But these were my parents, and they’d just been yanked from their home in the middle of the night for me. And after what I’d done, they might be thrust back into Caervorn’s dangers.
“Okay,” I said softly.
Instead of laying into me with a hundred different questions immediately, she sent a sideways glance to Papa that carried the weight of an entire conversation.
He rose from his seat, patting my mother on the back.
His movements were so graceful, it felt like my heart might shatter from the joy after all the pain he’d suffered this past year.
He said, “I promised your brother and Prince Nisien that I’d observe training today anyway. They want to know if there’s anything we did in Gelida or with the guard at Caervorn that they should implement here.”
“What he hasn’t said is that he’s back to swinging a sword again!” My mother was glowing with pride.
Papa gave my mother then me a kiss on the forehead then walked out to join the other men in the training yard, head held high.
Once he was gone, Mama’s eyes danced with a mixture of love and mischief. “So, how long have you been in love with that dark-haired prince?”
The question, sharper than Emrys’s sword, sliced right through my defenses. My carefully constructed walls crumbled in an instant. Love, grief, longing…all of it came pouring out as I fell into my mother’s arms and told her everything.
The conversation was a difficult one. Twice, Mama’s anger leaked out, infusing the atmosphere with even more tension.
By the time I’d recovered enough to leave their room, I was carrying a letter I’d written.
I was still upset, but I could hold my head higher.
I had a plan, one neither of us really liked, but it was something to do instead of continuing to wallow.
I ran into Tegil in the hallway, where the two guards who’d followed us earlier were still standing sentinel.
“Brother,” I said with mock disapproval, one eyebrow raised at his dishevelment. “You look a bit worse for wear.”
He had hay in his hair, and his training shirt had a streak of blood on it.
“I gave worse than I got,” he defended himself with all the offense his thirteen-year-old dignity could muster.
I winked. “They don’t fight dirty like the boys back home, do they?”
He grinned. “Nope.”
One of the guards cleared his throat to cover a laugh, then muttered an apology. They were subtly leaning in, listening to our conversation. And even though their faces remained stoic, I could sense the surprise and amusement radiating from both guards.
“The boys here have probably been taught strategic tactics unlike those street rats, so stay on your toes and make allies—not just enemies.”
Despite his eye roll, Tegil easily conceded, surprising me. “You’re probably right.”
“Where’s Papa?”
“He’s still teaching one of the trainers something.”
I couldn’t help myself. Ignoring his state of disarray, I pulled my brother into another hug. “I’ve missed you. But I have a confession… I lost your osprey. I’m really sorry.”
“We’re here with you now, so you don’t need it anymore. I mean, look at you, Isca.” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “You’re a proper lady now.”
Now that he was taller than me, I had to stretch my arm up to tousle his hair. “Go take a bath. You stink.”
Tegil narrowed his eyes. “I’d say the same about you if I wasn’t worried those guards would pummel me.”
I found myself laughing, reveling in the back-and-forth banter I’d missed so much.
“Oh, and one more thing, Isca,” he said with a cheeky smile.
I raised one eyebrow.
He pulled a rock from his pocket—gods only knew why he had one in there; probably to throw at someone—and levitated it in his palm.
I gasped, nearly dropping the letter, and rushed to hug him again.
“Your magic came in,” I cried. “If you can already do that, your specialization should be showing itself soon!”
He squeaked as I tried to hug him like I used to, lifting his little body off the ground. But he was too big for that now, so I had to settle for squeezing him with all the love I could send him through the embrace instead.
He tried to pretend he wasn’t tearing up in front of the guards, but I knew better. My baby brother was growing up. Grinning, I told him, “Now get washed. You really do stink.”
Determined, I hugged him one more time and turned my feet, hands still clutching the letter, headed in the direction that would decide the rest of my life.
I could almost hear a dozen divine voices whispering, making bets on what would happen next.