Chapter 64
Isca
The relief of having my parents near was as fragile as a candle flame in a draft. Because beneath it flickered that ever-present, ever-gnawing sense of lack, of needing him.
I couldn’t bear another hour of silence, another hour of the agony of not knowing if we were done before we’d truly even started. Not when I finally had the chance to set things right.
So I stalked across the castle, heart thundering, guards’ boots echoing behind me, letter in hand.
The quiet was a tangible thing in the corridors, thick with too many emotions for me to name as the pre-dinner hour settled.
I hoped he was in his rooms, not running again, not taking away my chance to tell him everything, to show him what I’d written.
The low-burning torches cast shadows on the walls, illuminating the dust motes that danced in the air as I entered the royal family’s wing.
I could hear movement in the vacant king’s room.
The maids must be giving it the same treatment my room had received back in the spring, stirring up dust in forgotten corners or underneath unused furniture.
I paused in front of Emrys’s door, hand raised, ready to knock. But my shadows in steel distracted me. I snapped, “Do you mind giving me space?”
It was the first time I’d ever been anything close to rude to Emrys’s men. Their emotions were all jumbled up—confusion, relief, boredom.
“Sorry. I just…need some privacy,” I admitted, tone softer.
Neither man said a word, but the one closest to me nodded infinitesimally. They retreated a few paces, still forming a watchful wall at my back.
I raised my hand again and knocked. The door creaked inward at my touch. I eyed both my guards and decided it was worth the risk. I peeked in.
The bed was stripped, the hearth cold. There wasn’t a trace of him left. My chest caved in. The air itself seemed to vanish with him, leaving nothing behind but the pounding of my heart. No. No, he couldn’t…
Panic seized me, cold and sharp as ice in my veins. He was running.
But where? Was he going back to the Assembly or, worse, going to fight them alone? Was he retreating into a form of exile, or was there another path, a journey he wanted to take that I couldn’t be part of?
My knees nearly gave way beneath me. Stumbling back, I half-ran down the corridor, no longer caring about the trailing guards. My feet guided me toward the place where I could cry in peace while I packed my bags.
I would find him and join him. I’d done it once. I could do it again.
This time, the guards didn’t enter my room first. They simply took up positions on either side of my door. I shoved inside, flinging the door open wide, trying to breathe, trying to think.
But before I’d made it three steps into my room, the sound of wood on the brink of splintering and a sudden flare of magic stopped me cold. The connecting door, sealed since the queen’s death, trembled, with a low, guttural sound vibrating through its frame.
A burst of dark power I knew well forced it to groan open, still miraculously in one piece. The air that rushed in from the other room smelled of dust and grief, but with Emrys standing there, the past surrounding us no longer mattered.
For a moment, I couldn’t move, only gape. The world narrowed to the space between us—his magic lingering in the air like embers drifting on the breeze after a wildfire, the uneven breath in my chest, the unbelievable fact that he was here. Not gone. Not lost. Here.
His eyes found mine, and some of his tension melted away, shoulders dropping, jaw unclenching. His gaze was soft again, making my heart falter over the hope blossoming in my chest.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, his voice raspy. “The door was stuck. Hasn’t been opened in years.”
Relief crashed into me so hard my vision blurred. He was…removing the lock on the King’s door?
“What are you doing?” My voice quavered.
Emrys stepped through, shoulders squaring. I could hear furniture moving behind him, muffled voices directing each other. Another deep rumble. “Moving in.”
My heart lurched, and the sound of the letter crinkling as my fist clamped around it filled my ears. “So you’ve decided the succession?”
He nodded and stepped into my room, waving the massive door shut behind him with a flick of magic. “We have.”
The Assembly would be thrilled. I’d be burdened by shame, but with this news, I could go back to Caervorn safely—probably.
It wasn’t my home, not anymore, but it was the only other place I’d ever known.
The Assembly would find some way to continue using me, but I could take solace in knowing that my presence here had helped make Darreth a better place.
My gaze fell to the ground, struggling to stuff down the emotions, to keep it all inside. But Emrys closed the distance between us and reached for my free hand. I trembled as I gave it, still stunned by the revelation that he would be king. And what an amazing king he’d be.
Close now, I couldn’t ignore the fact that his walls weren’t up. He was…steady, resolute, changed. But not angry.
Before he could utter a word, I shoved the letter against his chest. “I wrote to Chancellor Maeron. I want you to read it.”
The paper quivered between us, rustling like my words were trying to escape the page. My magic was strong, but it couldn’t tell me if he knew that I was handing over my heart with the parchment.
Not letting go of my other hand, he flicked it open. Was it too much to hope that his touch was a gentle reassurance? His eyes flitted across the page and for a moment hope rose in my chest.
Then, the wings that had just started to lift my heart snapped, and I fell from the sky.
His cold eyes met mine, and his words came out even colder.
“You were sent here to betray me, but I will not allow this.” Emrys’s voice rang with finality.
“You will not admit any failures or guilt to them. You have brought about the successful transition of power to a foreign kingdom all on your own. You will not fling yourself upon his mercy or rely on the cursed Assembly for anything ever again. I forbid it!” It was the first time he’d ever gotten close to raising his voice at me.
His nostrils flared. “Not when it was they who put you in this situation. Not when they aim to…” He growled, making me flinch. “… to use you like they’ve used me.” He ran a hand through his hair, breathing hard. The anger in his eyes lessened.
I waited to hear him out, relieved that his outrage wasn’t for me.
His voice, still shaking with his temper, drifted down slowly. “Isca, the truth broke something inside me…”
I stopped breathing, anticipating the knife of his words to settle between two ribs.
“But I think it was something that needed to be broken. You’ve done more to save me than anyone ever has.”
The laces on my gown were too tight. I would fall over before I pulled a full breath in.
Light flared, and the letter in his hand turned to ash that scattered between us and drifted to the floor. He held my gaze, face a mask of stone as he fought the curse. Every word I’d written to apologize, to diminish myself, was gone.
“You think this has ruined us because I am a foolish, irritable man, with worries I can’t always release churning within me. You came here for the Assembly. But you defied them. And you stayed for me, for Darreth.” He swallowed. “I see that now.”
He drew in a slow, unsteady breath, like he was bracing to peel his heart open.
“For nearly two decades I’ve lived expecting abandonment. Expecting to be used. Expecting pain. And then you came into my life and rewrote all of it by trying, by staying even when I made it difficult.
“I kept pushing you away because wanting you felt too dangerous. Because I knew I wouldn’t survive it if I let myself have you and then lost you.”
His hand tightened around mine.
“Isca, I fooled myself into thinking your mission confirmed every fear I’ve carried since the curse took root. That it proved I was nothing more than a weapon to everyone…even to you.”
“Never,” I whispered.
“All the truth did was expose how much I already needed you. And once I finally doused my insecurities, I could see what you risked for us.”
“I didn’t want to lie to you.”
“You didn’t when it counted.” He moved his hands up to hold my arms. “Cariad, I could never stop loving you. I love you so deeply it terrifies me.”
He leaned in and rested his forehead on mine. His skin was warm from the exertion of moving furniture and breaking open, but not shattering, more doors.
“I’m sorry for not telling you all this sooner. My weakness has put us both through agony.”
I exhaled on a choked sob. “I’m so sorry, Emrys. Please forgive me.”
His gaze locked on mine with his characteristic intensity. “You want redemption? Then stay. Love me.”
The world around us stilled. “What?” I whispered, barely believing what I was hearing.
Stay? He wanted me to stay? I couldn’t hold back my tears for another moment. They fell out of me like a spring rain, ready to bring new life to all they touched.
“I’m steady when you’re near. I’m made better by you—and not just because of your magic.
You. Your cunning mind, endless well of compassion and kindness, your bright smile—all of it could only bring abundance to Darreth, to me.
Stay. Because I’d rather learn to be a good ruler the hard way with you than be safe without you for a moment longer. ”
Magic still vibrated faintly around him. His power, his quiet certainty, stole my breath.
He kneeled then. A prince who would soon be king bent on one knee before a peasant girl wearing borrowed clothing and a borrowed title. He had no crown on his head and no scepter in his hand, but he still carried the weight of choice, of trust, of love.
“You’ve seen my monster and stayed,” he said, his lips grazing my knuckles in a soft kiss. “Now stay for the man. I’ll always keep you safe, Isca. You protect…you complete my soul. Rule with me, keep me steady while I fight my weakness. Be my queen.”
“You can’t mean… Emrys, after everything—after what I did—”
“None of that matters. You were put in an impossible position and did everything you could to fight them. Now I want you to fight them with me.”
The air rushed from my lungs. My pulse thundered so wildly I thought it might shake the stones beneath us. For a breathless moment, all I could do was stare at him—the man I’d betrayed, the man I loved, the man who still wanted me at his side after I’d lied to him for months.
And then, with tears burning my eyes and hope burning in my chest, I fell into him. His heart reached for mine, as delicate and deliberate as a hand nearing a skittish horse, wanting and waiting until I gave him permission.
But there was more at stake in this choice than just the longing for my other half, my counterpoint, my soulmate.
This decision was made heavier by the weight of the crown attached to it. Every choice I made from this point forward would have repercussions for people I might never meet, who lived on the other side of the kingdom.
But as queen, I could defy the Assembly with my voice, not just my covert dealings. As queen, I could help Darreth thrive.
I didn’t yet know whether I could be a good one. But Emrys had always made me feel brave. And safe. Wanted and accepted.
I couldn’t go another day without him. That truth was all it took for me to know my answer.
I filled my lungs with him—his firestorm of love, leather and smoke, the wildness of his curse—and answered with a single word that would remake the world. “Yes.”
My yes was for the man who shattered my foundations only to rebuild me with resilience and bravery. For the crown that terrified me, but that I would wear for our people. For the girl in the market square, who’d never dreamed her heart could be this full. My yes was for all of it. For us.