Chapter 5 #2
“I hae naething, Isla. I ken ye think ye hae tae dae this, but it’s only because Sinclair lives. He will pay for bringing ye here, for taking ye away from me. I will kill him and then all of this will be over. Ye will nae be forced intae a marriage.”
His voice was grave, and the anger in his words washed over her like a warm wind.
It was a promise, a vow. Gavin had made a few promises to her over the years.
She had even made some in return, although that seemed like another life now.
She had been a child, acting as though everything would work out for the best simply because she wanted it.
Life was not like that, however. Compromises had to be made. Sacrifices.
This was another one, and if Gavin wasn’t listening to her then she was going to have to twist the knife as well and make him leave.
“Revenge, that’s all ye care about. It’s all ye understand now.”
“Nae,” he replied quickly.
His hands shot out and grabbed her arms, not tight enough to hurt, just tight enough to make sure she didn’t move.
Tight enough to make her heart tremble and explode with emotion and desire.
“I only care about ye, Isla. Ye are all that matters tae me. I’ll let others take care of the Highlands. I just want tae protect ye. I dinnae ken anything else. I dinnae hae any other purpose. Everything I am is about ye.”
“Stop,” she said, twisting away from his grip before he could say any more. His hands were still raised, as though he was holding the shape of her. Isla could only just bear to look at him. “It’s nae safe for ye here.”
“I dinnae care about my safety.”
He had the look of a man possessed. Possessed by love for her.
It was touching and flattering and in many ways. It’s what she had prayed for so many times over the past ten years.
But it was wrong. It couldn’t work anymore. It was too late.
It would only doom them both and the Highlands along with it. Gavin had never been able to see more than that, but she did. It’s what she had been raised to do.
“Then it’s lucky that I dae. Gavin, I hae tae think about more than myself.
More than ye. But ken this. Da is nae forcing me intae anything.
I hae kenned Iain since we were bairns. He hae grown from a sweet boy intae a good man, and I ken he will make me happy.
If ye truly care for me, if ye want me tae be happy, then ken that I am free here and leaving with ye would only bring me sorrow. ”
The lie was bitter on her tongue. Nausea churned in her stomach and she hated seeing the confusion and pain appear on Gavin’s face.
The only thing she couldn’t do—the only thing that might have given him a sliver of the truth—was look him in the eye.
But she also knew that these words might be a deeper wound than any her father or brothers had inflicted upon him.
Gavin had been used to enduring physical pain, but not pain that ran deeper than his flesh.
“What about all that we shared? What about all the whispered promises we made? What about…”
He reached for her hand. Isla drew hers back sharply.
“That was another life, Gavin. It was never meant tae last. I hae tae face that. Ye must as well. I’m nae in love with ye anymore. Run while ye still can. I will nae be able tae give ye any more warnings, and I cannae be clearer than this. There is naething left for ye here,” she said.
Isla clasped her hands tightly together, digging her nails into her palm because it didn’t seem fair that he should be the only one to suffer because of these words.
Gavin clenched his jaw and he breathed deeply, both shoulders rising. Isla felt her heart flutter. Every time she was in the presence of this man she could feel the pull of her heart wanting to tear everything asunder and shirk her responsibilities, but she could not.
She had to think of Iain, her mother, and everyone else who would suffer if she was selfish.
“Look intae my eyes and say that again.”
Isla lifted her gaze to meet his and her knees went weak at the intensity she saw. She could not bring herself to say the words, but nor would she take them back.
“I hae said it once. It suffices,” she gasped.
She went to move away, but before she could his arm shot out.
He had always been quick. He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him, his grip so firm that he tore the stitches of the Anderson colors. His lips crashed against hers like the tide and she was powerless against it. Her body arched into him and despite all she said.
She kissed him back.
The feeling of it was potent, this crackling, thunderous energy traveling from her lips through the core of her body. She imagined this was what being struck by lightning felt like.
It left her breathless.
He pulled back, but only an inch. When he spoke she could feel the movement of his lips against hers. She could taste his intoxicating breath.
“Tomorrow, I will be at the stables at midnight. Waiting. Ye saved me many times over. Let me save ye now,” he said, and then stole away, leaving her reeling.
She turned and closed her eyes, pressing her fingers to her mouth as though she could wipe away the kiss. But it tested her. It tested the promise she had made to Iain and the promise she had made to herself.
Gavin stirred something powerful inside her and despite her resolve she found herself considering chasing after him; leaping into his arms and telling him that she was wrong, that she did love him, and that they could ride away and leave this all behind.
But then what of everything else?
Whatever love remained in her heart, she would have to extinguish it soon, for it had no place in her life any longer.
She was going to have to kill everything she held dear about Gavin.