Chapter 14
Chapter
Fourteen
Isla stood awkwardly beside the door of a chamber where Kai, Coll, Laird Sutherland, and other generals were speaking about the Highlands and their plans to defend themselves against her father’s plans.
Thankfully neither Gavin nor Kirsty was present, as Isla didn’t wish to speak to either of them again. She wasn’t sure what to say to them now. Either there would be silence, or there would be an argument. She didn’t welcome either of these outcomes.
She paced back and forth until the meeting was adjourned.
Men poured out, some of them excited about the prospect of war, while others were more circumspect.
Isla darted into the room where Kai and Coll were brooding over the map of the Highlands.
Isla gazed at the area where the Anderson Clan was located.
It looked so small compared to the rest of the Highlands, but for a brief time it had been where her future lay.
She had lost two homes now and she wasn’t sure how to carve another path in life.
Coll noticed her and quickly excused himself, marching briskly out of the chamber. Kai turned to her and adopted a smile.
“What can I dae for ye, my favorite sister?” he asked.
“I am yer only sister, sae ye can wipe that smile off yer face for a start. I dinnae ken how ye can smile in such troubling times.”
“Because all my family are taegether, at least the ones I care about,” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “And I would like tae ken why ye are sae long-faced. I ken ye cared for Iain, but?—”
“Are ye gaeing tae diminish his death? I ken he was nae one of the precious four clans, but that dinnae mean he was nae important.”
Kai recoiled as though he had been struck. He held his hands up in the air. “Let’s hae a truce, Isla. I dinnae want tae argue with ye. I liked Iain, and I’m sad that he died. I understand ye are mourning, but this anger at Gavin?—”
“What about it?” she asked, trying and failing to keep the terseness from her voice.
“Dinnae ye think it’s a wee bit unfair? He hae been helping us as much as possible. As soon as he hae the chance he was racing off after ye, and as far as I can tell he spent all his energy getting tae ye. All he wanted was tae bring ye back.”
“Aye, and then Iain was killed. Ye saw the blood on his hands.”
“I did. But I also ken that Father was there, and with that man naething is as it seems.”
Isla bowed her head. She twined a lock of hair around her finger and tugged at it, hard enough to cause an irritation on her scalp. She gnawed on her lower lip and tried to quell the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“Dae ye believe Father did it?” she asked in a small voice.
“I would nae rule it out. Ye believed in Gavin once. Why did ye even help him in the first place?”
“Because Da was cruel tae him and I thought it was unfair. He seemed lonely, and I thought about ye all the way here in Stormhaven and I wondered if ye would be treated the same way. I hoped that someone would be kind tae ye, sae I was kind tae Gavin.”
Kai squeezed her hand at her thoughtfulness and love for him, then went on. “Father treated him like an animal, and while I ken he’s a powerful fighter, that is a different thing tae being a murderer.”
“I hae asked him and he hae nae said one way or the other.”
“Would ye hae listened either way? Ye are acting as though ye hae made yer mind up already. Look, if I were ye then I would nae be thinking about what he might or might nae hae done. I would be thinking about the man I got tae ken over the past ten years. Dae ye honestly think he would have killed Iain purely because ye would nae gae with him?”
When Kai put it like that, something shifted in Isla’s mind. She drew in a sharp intake of breath. The realization struck her with such force that she had to grip the back of a nearby chair to steady herself.
Gavin had already known that Isla was willing to go with him. There had to be more to the story than what she had assumed. Kai was right. And there was only one person who knew what really happened.
“I believe ye hae some thinking tae dae,” Kai said, noticing her pensive expression. He took her hand. “Whatever ye decide, I will support ye. I will just leave ye by saying that we would nae hae found ye if it weren’t for Gavin.”
“It’s just hard tae ken the truth, especially with the lives we hae led. How did ye feel when ye found out that Da was poisoning Ma?”
She felt tension in Kai’s hand. His features became pinched. “Betrayed. Angry. Stunned. We hae been surrounded by sae many lies for our entire lives. Sometimes it’s hard tae remember that there’s such a thing as truth.”
“Aye,” she offered weakly.
“But Gavin is nae a fox. He’s a lion, and there’s naething subtle about them,” Kai grinned. “Gae and find the truth.”
He let go of her hand and left her staring at the map of the Highlands. She tried to feel as tall as the giants in old fairytales, but really she felt small and unsure. She took herself away and walked out of the Keep alone, following a path that led to a view of the sea.
There was a small, weathered wall lining the edge of the cliff.
The waves crashed upon the shore. Moisture in the air caressed her cheeks.
She thought about things past and present, about how she had been married and widowed in the span of a day, and how her husband had been unable to capture her heart as someone else.
“I’m sorry, Iain. I’m sorry for nae being the wife ye deserved. I think ye would hae been better off if ye never kenned me. I wish ye hae stayed in bed that night. I wish… Ah, what’s the use of wishing anymore? We never get what we…”
She paused mid-sentence as she sensed someone watching.
There was an invisible itch upon the back of her neck and she was almost afraid to turn around.
She wondered if it might be an assassin sent by her father, who certainly had some dark plans for the Highlands.
It might have been easier if it were, because at least then she would have known what to say.
“What are ye daeing here?” she asked softly, peering over her shoulder.
Gavin’s shadow crawled across the ground and came to rest at her feet. He bore a stony expression and she thought he should have been a child of Stormhaven rather than a lion because he resembled the cliffs and mountains that surrounded them.
“Someone needs tae keep an eye on ye, and I suppose it’s hard tae break the habit,” he said, trying to joke, but his voice was devoid of humor.
“I thought Stormhaven was safe. That’s what Kai said.”
“I think we both ken that nae place is truly safe.”
Isla pursed her lips. “Dae ye remember when I sneaked out of the Keep tae join a feast at the village? Da thought I was too young tae take part in the revelry.”
“Aye, and I was afraid ye would be punished sae I followed ye intending to bring ye back, only I ended up enjoying myself. I cannae say that was true of many nights at Inverdane Hall.”
“Nae…”
“All the good memories I hae were with ye,” he lowered his voice.
Isla closed her eyes. The memories crept beneath her skin and slipped through the barriers around her heart. Her thoughts returned to that night. There had been dancing and wine. It was the first time she tasted it properly, rich and sweet, flowing easily down her throat until she was quite tipsy.
“That night it felt as though anything was possible.”
“It was the only night I felt free,” he rasped.
He hadn’t moved, yet he seemed closer. She could feel him at her back. Her chest rose with deeper breaths.
“Aye, me too. And dae ye remember what else happened that night, on the walk home?”
Isla’s throat tightened. She remembered it all so vividly. The way they had been walking together. Her paces had been unbalanced. She leaned into him and he wouldn’t let her fall. His arm had felt comfortable around her.
Then she’d looked up at him and thought his eyes were like stars, and within a breath they were kissing. Her first kiss, which came freely and uncomplicated, as though it had been fated to happen.
“I remember,” she said, trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible. “We were both tipsy,” she added, as though she wanted to excuse what happened.
“I was nae,” he said.
This caused Isla to turn around and glare at him. “Aye, ye were!”
Gavin shook his head slowly. “I dinnae hae a drop of wine tae drink, or anything else. I dinnae want tae compromise my senses in case ye needed me.”
“But I saw ye holding a glass.”
“I poured it on the ground,” he said.
“But it was yer chance tae be free as well.”
“I dinnae need wine tae be free. I hae ye,” he said.
There was intent behind his words, a potency that was dangerous and Isla began to feel her head spinning again. He was intoxicating and had a way of making her act rashly. Her heart quickened and she brought her hands together.
“I always wondered if ye regretted it.”
“Never.”
“But it never happened again. Ye never said…”
“What was I supposed tae say? I was trapped. I dinnae want tae make a prisoner of ye as well, and imagine what yer father would hae done if he found out I loved ye.”
“Loved…”
“Aye, Isla. I loved ye. I think I fell in love with ye from the first moment ye showed kindness tae me. That night when I saw ye dancing, yer hair flowing like flame, yer eyes as bright as the stars… That was the night when I was grateful for the Pact because I could nae imagine my life without ye. I wanted sae badly tae be with ye, but it was impossible. Sae I held myself back. I restrained my heart all those years because I kenned things could never be the way I wanted them tae be, and when we left Inverdane Hall I finally thought that we might be together, but then…”
Isla gulped. The truth was that was the night she had fallen in love with Gavin as well, but it was hard to admit now, especially after the way she’d treated him.
“I’m sorry that night could nae last forever,” she said.
Gavin nodded and wore a rueful look. “I wanted tae give ye that freedom. It was impossible though. I’m sorry that things turned out as they did. I just hope that ye can find peace up here. Perhaps it will be easier when I leave.”
Isla felt a great wrenching of her heart. Suddenly she did not want him to leave at all. The conflicting emotions within her were like a storm, and she wondered if there was something in the air that exacerbated them.
“Would ye change it now? Would ye gae back and stop it from happening?”
“Nae,” he said without any hesitation. “All the pain I hae endured I would endure again tae hae ye. Haeing ye in my life hae been a blessing. I just wish I hae been able tae handle things better. I hae never been good at this kind of thing. Besides, I would nae allow my brother tae suffer like that either. It was my life tae live and I lived it. There was a lot of bad, but there was some good as well.”
Isla nodded. “I suppose that is true of most lives,” she said.
They remained silent for a few moments, listening to the waves crashing against the mountains. It was like a song in a language she did not understand, yet it spoke to her heart.
“It hae all seemed like a blur. In one moment we were ready tae leave the Keep, then ye were captured, then I’m married and suddenly Iain is dead and we’re riding tae Stormhaven. I hae barely been able tae keep track of it all. Gavin, please tell me what happened in the dungeon.”
The smile faded from Gavin’s face. He dipped his head.
“I was wrong tae come for ye. Iain should never hae died,” he said.
Once again Isla noticed that Gavin neither admitted or denied that he made the killing blow, and until she knew this for certain she could not come to any decision.
“I should leave before I make anything worse. I hae accepted that the moments I hae with ye were fleeting. I shall always cherish them, but I need tae find my path away from ye now. For a long time ye were the only good thing in my life, but it’s unfair of me tae expect that of ye all the time.
Ye hae yer own life tae live, and I will nae interfere with that. ”
He strode away powerfully.
Isla chased after him, waving her hand in the air, calling after him, but Gavin’s long legs increased the distance between them. Eventually she faltered and could hardly blame him for wanting to flee her presence after she accused him of killing a man.
She turned back to face the sea and slumped to the ground, placing her head in her hands. It all seemed so wrong somehow, that she and Gavin should be so close only for it to end up like this.