Fourteen
With Jenna at Nixon’s more permanently, the house was quiet.
My parents were still away and Mattie spent most of his time in the annex above the garages or at Alex’s. After our night out, Chrissy and Betty were now joined at the hip and had been going into town regularly. The two boys they had met in the club was the most likely reason. I felt left out but didn’t say anything, not directly anyway. There must have been a hint of how I was feeling in my last message as I received an interesting reply. You should come out tonight and meet us at the club. Adam will be there; he was asking about you. Betty’s text said.
It was Friday and I hadn’t seen Mason all week. He’d sent a couple of texts here and there, but nothing major and the radio silence was killing me. I certainly didn’t want to be the one messaging all the time, especially if he was trying to blow me off slowly. My heart felt like someone had stomped all over it at the thought.
Mason’s excuse for his sudden unavailability was that Mitchell was home and needed extra care. There was also a large order of cattle which needed delivering to a city farm just outside London. I knew it wasn’t a lie as Nixon had mentioned it to Jenna but it still annoyed me. Couldn’t he have invited me to go on the trip or something, isn’t that what a boyfriend would do? I batted off that wishful thinking, whatever Mason, and I had going on, it wasn’t as normal as that.
I thought back to the card Adam gave me which had been shredded by Mason. If only things had been different and I had started things up with the accountant, maybe I’d be in a regular relationship now.
As I digested that thought, I realised that that was part of the problem. I didn’t want regular. I wanted wild, unpredictable, and outrageously out of control. I wanted Mason.
My limbs were aching from mucking out King’s stable. He was new to Kipling’s and had been purchased to replace Tiny who had now been collected by Nixon on behalf of Mitchell.
King was a purebred stallion and had impressive genes, so Mrs Lonsdale had said. They would breed him with a couple of high-end broodmares so they could expand their bloodline of horses. I’d taken several pictures of him on my Nikon, he was such a beauty.
After Mason’s revelation that I hadn’t been responsible for Mabel’s death, I’d mounted Star a couple of times. I hadn’t ridden her properly, but getting on the horse was the first step. The next time I’d walk her around the yard. Mrs Lonsdale was pleased that I had decided to give riding another go. As I’d sat upon Star, she’d questioned my level of experience and said how I looked like I belonged up there. Mrs Lonsdale also said that she could offer me more work with the guests who came to learn how to ride. To be honest, the offer restoked my passion for riding, as spending my days doing that instead of shovelling horse shit was a win-win, in my opinion.
Alex and I ran into each other at work quite regularly and gone was the awkwardness. He and Mattie were going strong and I was happy for them.
My phone beeped again.
Well? Are you coming? Betty’s message said.
I gave it another thought. Maybe I should go and text Mason, and wind him up again. I wrinkled my nose at how pathetic a second attempt to make him jealous would be. After everything that had happened between us, we were above all that game-playing shit now, weren’t we?
I’ll pass, I think. But I’ll see you tomorrow in Swaffham for the village fair.
The ‘Betty is typing icon’ appeared and I rolled my eyes, suddenly feeling impatient.
Are you really going?
My lip curled and I replied, Of course, roasted chestnuts, coconut shy, splat the rat and knights on steeds jousting. Oh, and loads of beer. What’s NOT to like?
Her answer shot back; I’d forgotten about the beer!
Stretching my arms to ease out those knots I could feel at the tops of my shoulders, I waited for Betty’s decision. I knew she’d come. If there was beer, there was Betty.
K. We’ll see you there. Won’t be early, depends on the hangovers.
I narrowed my eyes at her response. You look after Chrissy, K?
Absolutely. She’s my new protégée. Hmm I wasn’t sure I liked that. Betty’s interest in one of the guys from the club wasn’t good. She was supposed to be seeing James but she hadn’t spoken of him much recently and I wondered if that was now dead in the water. It was a shame. James was a keeper.
How are you getting there? Betty questioned.
I’ve asked Mattie for a lift. Alex is driving us all.
Fuck me, AWKS! She was wrong. Any awkwardness had sailed.
Piss off and have a good night. Don’t get too shitfaced!
I was about to lower my phone onto the bed but I received another text. My heart soared, hoping, no praying it was from Mason… it wasn’t. It was from my mother.
Everything OK there sweety?
That wave of adrenaline dipped.
Yes fine, are you having a good time? I thumbed in.
Great, thank you. Just wanted to check-in. Yes, like you did every other day!
The content of her next text would usually have annoyed me, but it didn’t for a change. Is Jenna OK, she isn’t answering my texts.
She’s fine mum. She’s started working at a boutique in Necton and so she probably won’t have her phone on.
Jenna had recently secured a job in a dress shop. She didn’t need to work, none of us did, but like me, my sister was no sponger. Nixon wasn’t happy about it and I remembered his comment about her lifting boxes.
Oh, that’s new. Exciting. I look forward to hearing all about it when we’re back.
OK mum, love to dad x. I almost added an emoji but Mum wouldn’t have a clue what it meant so I left it.
Bye xxx
Nothing from Mason since Thursday night and even then, the exchange was just chit-chat. A conversation about how things were going with the transfer of twenty-four prime cattle. Boring.
Dropping my phone, I padded over to the bathroom, maybe a shower would ease my aching limbs.
After I had bathed and changed into my PJs, I went downstairs and made myself some toast and coffee .
The house was quiet, the kitchen felt lonely. Things were changing, our family seemed to be growing apart and again I blamed this on the McKenna boys. All of them.
Before things had kicked off between Nixon and my sister, life had been so much more straightforward, it had always been them and us. And now, I wasn’t sure what it was.
I carried my half-burnt toast to my room and sat on my bed, nibbling, and reading magazines.
Tomorrow, I would enjoy myself at the fair. Most of my friends usually went.
After deciding on an early night, I spent time laying there against the soft covers. I could still smell that trace of Mason. I had washed the sheets but it was still there lingering. I wondered what he’d be doing and was desperate to text him, but I managed to stop myself.
I had been fine without Mason in my life in a romantic way, I would be fine again.
Ignoring the feeling of those hairline cracks across my heart, I closed my eyes and slept like the dead.
*****
It was Saturday morning, the day of the fair and the sun was bright as it shone in through the cracks in my curtains. I could already feel the heat through the glass and I stood there for a moment, basking in those rays. I loved to feel the sunshine against my skin.
The fact that it was looking to be a scorcher made my decision for me in respect of my outfit. I pulled on cream lace underwear and a white broderie anglaise sundress. It was fitted with capped sleeves and a sweetheart neckline, highlighting the small amount of cleavage I possessed and it was well above the knee and showed off my tiny waist. To add to the look, I pulled on flat strappy sandals with ties that crisscrossed up my slim ankles. I left my long hair loose and it fell in waves across my shoulders. I decided to add a bit more makeup than normal and went for a darker shade of lipstick that made my mouth appear fuller .
As I looked at myself in the full-length mirror, I felt amazing . Knock them dead type of stuff and the confidence that had been drained away by Mason’s silent treatment rocketed to the surface.
I was a Taylor-Joy, there wasn’t a male in the village who could resist me.
My phone pinged to say I had a message and I grabbed it from my dressing table and peered down at the screen. ‘Dickhead’ stared up at me.
Typical! Mason chose that very moment when I was feeling good about myself to message me. Did I have some type of beacon that was shining in the sky, like that message Gotham sent to Batman which said ‘ Amy is feeling good about herself again, please do make sure you shit all over that right now. ’
I toyed with not reading the message but of course, my resolve lasted seconds. Stay strong, stay strong. The guy has mugged you off for the past week and don’t forget his sell-by-date bullshit!
I’m back around lunchtime. Pick you up at one?
I placed the phone back on the dressing table and wrung my hands together, toying with how best to reply. I didn’t want to look like he’d upset me. He’d know his power over me then.
Retrieving my phone, I thumbed in, I would have loved to but I’m off into the village to meet some friends. Wowzer, I was impressed with how breezy my message sounded as I read it back, about six times!
You’re going to the Swaffham thing?
Yes, are you coming? I replied hopefully.
Not really my scene. He should have wanted to go because I was going! Boys were so fricking dumb sometimes.
I was gritting my teeth the entire time; our message exchange was like nothing had fucking happened. Save me from boys who haven’t got a fricking clue about how female emotions work!
K. Well maybe I’ll see you later. I tapped back
Maybe you will. Mason replied. Cocky fucker! I wanted to bite down on my phone.
Grunting, and deciding against replying to his text which was borderline indifferent, I checked the time and messaged Mattie to ask what time they were coming to get me .
He replied. We’ll be outside in five and please play nice.
Grabbing my bag, purse, and lipstick for essential top-ups, I made my way downstairs.
Jenna suddenly appeared from the kitchen which was a surprise.
“I thought you were at Lamb Hill?” I questioned, fluffing my hair.
She shook her head, looking a bit lost, “No, I stayed here last night whilst Nixon is away. Mitchell is quite poorly and I wanted to give them space.”
Titling my head, I digested her words, totally understanding. “Well, you can come home whenever you want can’t you,” I replied in an even tone.
She ignored my reference to the fact of where I considered her home to be, “You look lovely. Are you going to the fair?” she said. She was still dressed in her nightie and looked about fifteen.
“Yes, I take it you’re not working today, so you’re welcome to come.”
“No, Nixon is on his way back from London and he’s going to take me out for lunch,” she cooed in that sweet voice of hers.
So, Nixon was taking her to lunch whereas Mason’s text suggested he just wanted to see me for sex. Great. The dirty little secret and all that. I batted off those unhelpful thoughts.
“Mum was trying to get hold of you,” I explained.
Jenna nodded her head thoughtfully, “I’ll text her. She is such a worrier.”
“OK, well. See you later. Love you,” I replied.
She smiled and the entire room lit up.
After rechecking my appearance in the mirror in the hallway, I set off outside to find Mattie and Alex. Alex was in the process of turning the car and as he reversed back and pulled the handbrake on, I joined them in the backseat.
The journey to Swaffham was easy. The chatter between us flowed well. Alex’s eyes would shift to mine on and off through the rear-view mirror and there was a slight awkward vibe but nothing that huge considering I caught these two guys in bed together. It was in the past at the end of the day, and I for one had decided I would start to live for the future. No regrets .
The way Mattie and Alex spoke to each other was quite playful and the gaming element came out once or twice. I didn’t feel totally left out by their conversation as I too had played Call of Duty for years with my brother. We joked about high scores and it appeared that I wiped the floor with both boys with my online rank.
It felt nice and easy and a bit like I had Alex back in my life again but as a friend this time. The way it should always have been.
My thoughts darted back to Mason as I watched Mattie occasionally place his hand on Alex’s knee. The loving gesture made my heart contract and even though I was the one to get hurt initially by their union, I was happy he had found someone. Coming out after years of pretending to be straight couldn’t have been an easy thing to do on your own. I was proud of my brother and of Alex too.
I asked Alex about his mother and it appeared she’d turned a corner. I was pleased for him as he hadn’t had it easy in the past, having lost his dad when he was only fourteen.
Looking out of the window at the passing countryside, I wondered how it would feel to be able to sit in a car with Mason and drive somewhere together without having to hide. Jenna and Nixon were a couple and everyone seemed to accept that now. Well, apart from our parents, I wasn’t’ sure how they’d react when the learned Nixon was back in the picture. Nix said he had spoken to my dad and so who knew. I pushed off thoughts of those two into the back of my mind. Their alliance had drained away so much energy over the last few years and I was glad I had at last taken Mason’s advice to leave them to it. My life was slightly less stressful without worrying about what my sister was doing.
I wanted to text Mason and ask him to meet me at the fair but of course there would be too many people there. They’d see and then things would get even more complicated.
*****
The Swaffham Village Fair was an annual event and drew in people from surrounding villages both far and wide. The green itself was in the centre of the village, a stretch of grassland which sat in front of the old hall, a building which was frequented by the town’s council.
The council was made up of old busybodies that were probably bored senseless who discussed issues such as excess litter in the area and general crime. They were in no way putting the world to rights. Their agenda contained dull things, as very little happened in Swaffham, maybe how to tackle the occasional bit of graffiti, but that was about it.
Mum had been on the council once until she’d confessed to sketching her entire plan for the refurbishment of her bedroom during an elongated debate about the new colour for the hall door. My eyes narrowed as they spied said door in the distance, it appeared that dark green had been the favourite. Shocking.
There was a smell of fresh grass in the air which cancelled out the usual smell of the countryside. I inhaled that freshness as my eyes skated over the various stalls; cheese counters, leather products from handbags to belts and what appeared to be a pet stall which held all things dog. The beer tent was the one with the largest queue, no shock there then. But the coconut shy and Mr Crawley’s meat stall were also quite popular.
There was a taped-off area down the opposite side of the old hall where there would be horse jousting later. Mrs Lonsdale’s son, Simon was usually one of the knights. There was also a brass band playing, it was made up of old timers who were probably riddled with rheumatism, the bum notes they kept playing suggesting something wasn’t quite right.
After thanking Alex and Mattie for the lift, I set off toward Betty and Chrissy who were already stuffing their faces with hot dogs.
“Hey you,” I began as I approached them, motioning toward what I assumed would be their breakfast, “hungry much?”
Betty wiped a blob of ketchup off her chin and then continued to feast, replying with her mouth full. Nice.
“It’s great for the hangover,” she managed between chomps.
Chrissy grinned, “You should have been there. Adam looked well fit,” she informed me with a wink .
We moved away from the burger stand and over to an area which was close to the taped-off joisting zone. The stalls ran all the way around the perimeter of the green in a circle like a clock with that separate section cordoned off for the horse show.
A road went around the entire green but this had also been blocked off to stop cars coming down. The section was pedestrianised purposefully. On the roads, there were a variety of street acts and games for the kids. There was also a police car for children and teenage girls to sit in it appeared. I had a small digital camera in my bag and took a couple of shots. One of Betty sitting in the back as if she had been arrested.
We also got chatting with a couple of firemen who had brought one of the engines, also for the kids to enjoy. Betty got well excited when they sounded the siren for her. Whist she was taking selfies, I got speaking with one of the firemen, his name was George. We were in front of the engine and I noticed it appeared to have a camera mounted just above the license plate. I knew my cameras.
“So, there’s a camera on the front. Is that for training purposes?” I asked George.
“No, all our vehicles have cameras fitted, all the way around now. It’s to capture the crowds after an incident.”
“Why?”
George, who I kept wanting to call Sam for obvious reasons (as in Fireman Sam) cleared his throat and said, “In arson attacks, the instigator usually come back to savour their glory, admire their handywork. The amount of people we’ve caught due to having camera evidence is quite impressive.”
“Really? So, they come back to the scene of the crime?” I questioned thinking how dumb that sounded.
He nodded. “Yes, otherwise what’s the point? They get off on seeing the destruction they’ve caused. Not always but usually. In targeted attacks anyway. Arsonists have a sickness.”
I took in what he had said before taking a selfie on my phone. He was an older chap but I accepted his offer for a photo anyway as I didn’t want to offend him. Eventually, I managed to pry Betty out of the back of the unit. She was speaking to one of the younger fitter firemen. Oh dear, James was a forgotten thing of the past it appeared .
The vibe in the village was happy and fresh and it was just what I needed to take the Mason edge off things.
The next hour or so ticked by. Betty, Chrissy, and I mingled with a couple of the village lads, two of whom I went to school with, but I didn’t really know that well. My cousin Wynter and her brother Mark were there and we spoke briefly about our parents and what we were doing at Christmas time.
Once the time was right, we visited the tent containing the booze and I bought us all a pint of beer each. The cool amber liquid was so refreshing in the heat of the bright sunshine.
Another hour or so passed with laughing, drinking and general chit chat. People circling in and out of our group and we set up a base on the corner of the green. Sitting on the grass, and people watching.
Chrissy and Betty were commenting on the poor choices made by some of the younger girls in respect of their clothing and I laughed along but wasn’t really that interested.
After my third pint, I needed to pee and I set off toward the port-aloo blocks. I hated those types of toilets but when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.
On my way back, I had to cross one of the blocked off roads and a van suddenly pulled out in front of me. I didn’t recognise it and my heart thumped against my ribcage, having almost been run over.
“You’re not supposed to be here, this is a no thru road today,” I scolded as a guy jumped down from the driver’s side.
It was Jonathan Proctor. Great. Now I had to have a conversation with him.
“Sorry, I didn’t see you. We’ve been allowed through to set up our stuff for tonight,” Jonathan said, his beady eyes roaming up and down my body. He was the strangest and more socially awkward out of the two brothers.
I felt uncomfortable and tugged at my skirt.
“Oh, it’s fine. You just almost ran me over,” I pointed out with a flick of my head, turning to eye his strange coloured van.
“Nice van,” I added with a hint of sarcasm.
Jonathan’s twin Tyler suddenly appeared around the other side of the van .
“Yeah, sorry. My brother is shit at driving. You like the colour?” Tyler smirked. Although identical, Tyler had teeth missing at the front and that was the only way you could tell them apart. Well, that and Jonathan’s bad hand.
“Arizona orange,” Jonathan supplied with a grin, “or burnt orange, take your pick.”
An orange van, it was hideous. I shot them both the most realistic smile I could muster. I hadn’t really seen them since our BBQ. That night when Seth had gotten ill.
Their appearance reminded me of that night and the fact that Mason and I had never gotten to the bottom of what had happened there. A strange thought came to mind as I looked at the two boys before me. They were the only people at the party that I didn’t know that well, apart from Nixon’s squaddie friends. Did they have something to do with what had happened to Seth?
I realised no one was speaking and they were now just watching me with strange expressions.
“Yes, it’s different. The colour I mean. What are you here to set up for?” I questioned, my frown creating a groove in my forehead.
“We’re starting the bonfire later. We do it every year, you know that,” Tyler said with a toothless smile. And why the heck would I know something as unexciting as that?
Jonathan rubbed the back of his neck and it was the first time I noticed that the marks on his hand appeared to be burns. Obviously not very good at the job then mate if you couldn’t do it without setting fire to yourself. I thought back to what Betty had once said about the boys self-harming.
Pushing off the thought, I smoothed back my hair and nodded as if the penny had dropped. The Protector boys were losers and I rarely mixed with losers unless my parents forced us to include them for their ulterior motives. My dad had been after their mother’s land for years.
“Well, good luck getting that bad boy started. I’m looking forward to it, see you later,” I almost stuttered, desperate to be away from them.
Before I could move away, Jonathan stepped closer, “You staying all night?”
I shrugged, “I’m not sure, why? ”
“Well, I know your parents are away and heard your brother saying he was stopping at his lovers tonight. If you can call it that. Why don’t we take you home later, we could have a few drinks at yours. Will your sex-on-legs sister be there?”
My skin started to crawl at the thought of either of these boys with Jenna.
“No, she will be with Nixon McKenna, her husband,” I pointed out with raised eyebrows. If that thought scared him, he didn’t show it but then he was a strange individual. They both were. Tyler shot a meaty toothless grin toward us.
“Well, we could take you and your little sister back to yours, she’s sixteen now I heard,” Jonathan purred. It wasn’t a pleasant sound.
“Sorry, maybe another time. We’re both stopping at our friend’s house tonight,” I lied. They must have seen from my face that I found their suggestion ridiculous. After another five minutes of attempting to change my mind, I managed to break free. I had to be brutal and put them straight, saying how they were punching way above their weight with us. They didn’t like it, their fish-like eyes had narrowed and I was pleased for the crowd around us.
As I made my way to the toilets, I recalled Jonathan’s comment about Mattie. If what he had said was true, Chrissy and I would have to catch a cab home. I certainly wouldn’t be asking the Proctor boys for a lift!
After I’d been to the loo, I headed back to the group and checked my phone for messages. Nothing.
Betty had bought me a beer, and I leaned against the fence instead of sitting. Needing to stretch my legs.
“What do you think of the beer?” Martin, a boy I used to go to school with said. “It’s pretty shit, isn’t it?”
I grinned and twisted to face him. He was tall and thin with brown hair and green eyes; his tan made them stand out even more. I remember him as a cheeky lad but a bit of a player at school. He’d had one of those on-and-off relationships with one of the popular girls. Sarah Brooker. What a bitch.
“I must admit, it isn’t the best but I’m on my fourth and so it’s getting better with each mouthful. How about you? ”
He dashed a hand across his face and stared down at me, interest oozing from him, he didn’t even try and hide it.
“You’re a lightweight. This is my tenth.”
Wow, he didn’t look or sound pissed, but that was one hell of a lot of beer and it was only around three.
We spoke for a while; the chat was nice and refreshing with a healthy portion of flirty in there and I felt relaxed.
My creepy run-in with the Proctor twins was slowly wiped from my memory and I was glad to be talking to a handsome boy, out in the open and able to be myself. Betty shot me a suggestive look from her position next to Chrissy and then blatantly started talking about me behind my back to my sister. I didn’t care, they could both piss off, I was letting my hair down. Something I hadn’t done in ages and we were only talking.
Martin said something which probably wasn’t as hilarious as the beer I was drinking made out, but I shoved him playfully in the chest a couple of times. He really was quite funny. He lifted my mood and our banter just flowed.
I wound him up about a rumour that had circulated school about him giving one of the teachers a blowjob, which he totally denied. Eventually, I was punished as he swooped in and started tickling me. I had always been ticklish.
He kept touching my hair and saying how soft it was and it felt nice. I lapped up the attention he was showering me with and then some.
Halfway through relaying a story about an escaped pig in the village, Martin glanced over my shoulder with a frown. I drew back and looked up at him in silent question.
“What’s up? You, OK?” I said in a throaty voice, feeling high on life in the sunshine.
“Fucking hell. I appear to be getting the dead eye from one of the McKenna lads,” Martin whispered, drawing his gaze back to mine.
I frowned and made to glance behind my shoulder, wanting to see which brother he was talking about.
He clutched my arm to stop me from turning, “No, don’t look now or he’ll know we’re talking about him.”
I gently pulled away from his touch, “Who will? ”
Why was he so worried, had he had a run-in with them in the past? Martin physically recoiled in front of me. I was desperate to see if it was Boyd or Seth. It couldn’t have been Mason or Nix.
“Fuck me, he’s coming over here. Shit,” Martin swore. He had paled significantly.
At that point I didn’t dare turn around myself, the guy was acting like he’d seen a monster. And then said monster spoke.