Chapter 15
“ S o then why does your family do property management? It seems like ranching would take up all your time.”
Her question is valid and I’m feeling uncharacteristically open to conversation, so I decide to tell her more. “Yea, ranching is an entire lifestyle. Ranchers eat, sleep, and breathe it. But we haven’t for a long time.”
The crease in her brow mirrors my own as I continue.
“The ranch isn’t operational anymore. It’s hard, expensive work, and with the way the world’s changed, we couldn’t keep it afloat.
Swiftwater’s changed, hell, the entire region has changed.
” She watches me intently, not shying away in the slightest from my deformity.
Her gaze soothes and unnerves me simultaneously.
“Commercial cattle operations have taken over like the plague, eating up ranch by ranch.
My dad was an only child, unheard of in a ranch family.
The next generation was counted on to maintain the legacy.
But as much as they wanted more kids, it wasn't in the cards for my grandparents. With the economy and all that shit, caring for my aging grandparents on the shoulders of an only child…the ranch was doomed.”
The look on Isabelle’s face is so concerned and kind. I have the urge to comfort her, in my lament. “I had no idea, I’m so sorry. Are you okay with that?”
No one’s ever asked me that, not even my dad. I’m stunned stupid.
“No. I hate it.” A dry swallow does nothing to soothe the tightness gripping my throat.
“The ranch was still operating when I was growing up, my dad was my fucking hero. All I ever wanted was to be a cowboy, out on my horse all day with the crew. There was no indication the ranch was in dire straits. My dad started the property management company as a last-ditch effort to bring in some cash flow…but it wasn’t enough. ”
Traitorous tears burn the backs of my eyes.
“By the time Sam left for college, my parents had sold off the last of the cattle, let go of the remaining employees, and the ranch became a giant backyard. My parents offered for each of us kids to build a house on the land so it will always be our home, but it’s not a ranch anymore.
I don’t even know why we still call it that. ”
I shake my head in disbelief that I’m sharing so much with her.
I feel safe with her, I don’t know how else to describe the feeling.
“The one thing I wouldn’t compromise on was the horses.
I would've died on that hill, I swear. Those horses are my life. The deal with my dad is that I keep the horses and the stables in good condition, and it can’t cost him any time or money.
So, I’m out there every morning before work, every evening after work, and every weekend doing my chores and maintenance. ”
I huff a laugh. “Joke’s on him since he pays my salary at Swift, and I use my salary to maintain the stables.”
Isabelle blinks up at me. “Reid, I didn’t know. You’ve got to be dead tired all the time! Is that why you’re such a cranky asshole?” A smirk lifts her raspberry lips.
I bark out a laugh and cover it with a cough. I never expect the sass out of her hot little mouth. “No, I’m always a cranky asshole. But yea, it’s why I’m a tired cranky asshole.”
Her smirk grows. “Good to know, cowboy.”
Holy fuck. My dick jumps at the nickname. I like that. I like that too goddamn much.
“Your friend Olivia? I board her horse. She’s a damn fine mare. I board a few horses for folks in town for a bit of extra cash. Helps me maintain the ranch best I can.”
“How did I not know that you board Livy’s horse?” she mutters, confusion and offense lacing her tone.
She pulls out her phone and starts to rapid fire text, I assume to Olivia. While she texts, I hear her mock under her breath, “Giving me shit when she sees Reid all the fucking time. That little bitch.”
What the hell is going on? “What was that about? With your friend? Is me having the horse a problem?”
“No, no. Nothing like that!” she rushes out.
“Then what?” I respond, growing irritated.
A deep blush rapidly colors her cheeks. She won’t meet my eyes. What the fuck? She sits up straight, chin lifted like a princess, and snips, “I’d rather not say, to be honest.”
“Yea, that ain’t going to work, sugar. I just gave you my life story, you’re going to have to give me something.”
Her lips purse and I can see her tongue run along her top teeth inside her lips. She sucks her teeth in irritation. Or is it embarrassment? Her entire face and neck are red at this point.
“I’m not getting out of this, am I?”
“Nope.” I pop the ‘P’.
“Ok. But can you please not look at me? This is mortifying enough without you looking at me,” she whines.
Where the fuck is this story going? I’m dying to know at this point, so I nod my head in agreement and make a show out of looking at the crackling fire.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see her squirming in her seat and hear her cursing Olivia under her breath. She covers her face with her hands, and her voice is muffled when she groans, “This is so embarrassing.”
Pushing her won’t get her to spit it out any faster, so we sit in silence.
I pretend my entire body is unaware of her proximity, that I don’t know about the jewelry adorning her tits or smell her intoxicating scent.
Eventually, she takes a deep breath and exhales loudly, making a raspberry noise with her lips.
Her hands drop from her face, and she wrings them tensely in her lap.
She finally speaks—the words almost too fast for me to comprehend.
“I may or may not have had a teeny tiny, momentary, completely forgettable crush on you when I was a teenager. And Olivia has been mercilessly giving me shit about being on this work assignment with you. I was surprised Maisey never came up when I talked to her about us working together.” She looks like she might vomit right here on the couch.
I can’t stop the glee bursting from me at this fascinating revelation. Faking shock and disbelief, I retort, “Is that so? A crush. On me? Please, enlighten me.” The smile stretching my face is nearly painful. I don’t exactly smile much anymore. It’s like the muscles have forgotten how.
Her deadpan expression leaves no room for interpretation—slow blinking at me like I'm the dumbest fucker she’s ever seen.
“Do. Not.” She says through clenched teeth.
“Oh no, no, no, Isabelle Marie Tate, you tell me right fucking now.”
She interrupts me mid-way, “That’s not my middle name.”
I immediately reply, “Don’t care. Now start talking or I’m going to assume you were madly in love with me and had a shrine of me in your bedroom and that you drew glittery hearts around Isabelle Andersen in all your notebooks.”
“Oh my god, will you stop?” she shrieks. “I didn't do anything like that!”
“I’ll be the judge of that.”
I'm having way too much fun with this. I never would’ve guessed she’d had a crush on me.
She’s way younger than me, we wouldn’t have ever crossed paths.
She’s hot as hell, and I bet she was cute as a teenager.
I have to admit that I’m flattered, even though she scares the shit out of me.
I’m feeling lightheaded at the potential that I might actually have a shot with her.
“It's seriously nothing. It’s not a big deal.”
“Isabelle,” I urge her. She doesn’t speak, but I’ll wait her out. I can stay silent way longer than she can.
Heaving a huge sigh, she forfeits. “Fine. When I was in middle school, I saw you when you were helping to recruit for the high school football team. While I was looking at you, I ran into Olivia, who grabbed Delilah on her way down, and we all ended up in a heap on the floor,” she hedges.
I say nothing, wanting to hear more. “It wasn’t a big deal. It’s not like I was obsessed with your or anything.” She's beet red.
I'm so fucking happy right now. Mainly because she's so embarrassed and it’s hilarious, but also because it feels good to be reminded of when girls still found me attractive. Blood is rushing in my ears that this succubus might still have a crush on me.
“Let me get this straight. Little Isabelle Tate saw a hot specimen of a man for the first time—a beacon among the scrawny middle school boys whose balls still hadn’t dropped—and you were so entranced that you collapsed to the ground. And your friends still talk about it to this day?”
She's fuming. Fury is etched like granite on her face. Her eyes are pure ice.
Fidgeting in her seat, refusing to look at me, she says, “That seems like a bit of an exaggeration, but whatever helps you sleep at night. Now can we please drop this? It was a million years ago, and clearly, I didn’t know back then what an insufferable asswipe you are.”
I bark a laugh. Asswipe? This girl.
“Alright, alright. I’ll drop it. But this is the best thing I’ve heard in a while. Not forgetting this any time soon. You going to be okay working together? Seeing as you’re obsessed with me?”
She lurches towards me from her seat to smack me and I can’t contain my laughter. I block her flimsy attack with my forearm. “Hey now, no assaulting your coworker.”
She settles back down and slouches down in her seat, looking into the fire in silence.
“I’ll give you one more question. You ask and I’ll answer. Then we call this therapy session a wrap for the day.”
She looks over at me suspiciously, eyes narrowed and nostrils flaring. The studs in her nose glimmer from the motion.
Why are those so cute?
“Doesn’t seem fair but I do have a follow up question from before.”
“Shoot.”
“Have you ever considered bringing the ranch back to its former glory? I mean, I can tell property maintenance isn’t exactly your passion. But I can feel how much you love the ranch and the horses.”
How does she see right through me? I’m continuously surprised by her.
Yes, I’ve considered it. Every fucking day of my life.
On my drive to work, all day on the job, on my drive home, and all night, every night.
I’ve never told anyone my dreams for the ranch, not even my dad, and he loved the ranch more than I do.
I don’t know what it is about Isabelle that compels me to open up.
But I want to tell someone. I want to tell her.
I clear my throat. “Yea, I’ve considered it.” She waits patiently, her head tilted adorably to the side with interest.
“I don’t have a desire to drive cattle. That’s hard fucking work and I’m closer to forty than I am to twenty.
Too much work for too little return. But I wish other people could experience the property.
See how beautiful it is. It’s the only place I’ve ever felt whole.
At peace, you know? It’s where I feel Sam the strongest. I don’t know.
It’s stupid.” My stomach turns at the thought of Sam.
I miss him so fucking much, the pain still cripples me.
I can feel her kind heart absorbing everything I said. I thought I’d feel raw or uncomfortable after telling her, but I don’t.
Frowning, she says “It’s not stupid. Not at all. That’s like, my dream. I wish there was somewhere I could go and feel like I’m welcome. I mean, I just told you I’ve lived here my entire life and have never had the chance to experience the mountains the way I want to. I think you should do it.”
I can see the wheels in her head turning, she’s getting visibly more excited by the minute, firelight flickering in her eyes. I’ve seen her design ideas for the properties we’ve been to so far and they're incredible.
Not that I’ve told her that. Because I’m a fuckin’ coward.
She has what I don’t have, the creativity, the vision. I just have the drive, the land, and the dream.
Maybe I could do it.
And maybe, she’d be there to help me.