Chapter 24
M y throat is sore from my night spent sobbing into my pillow like a pathetic little girl. I’m so mad at myself for letting him get to me like this. Over what? Missing his coworker’s birthday? I'm so stupid.
Looking for my phone to check the time, I don’t find it anywhere. Judging by how light it is outside, I’ve overslept again. I suppose crying your heart out will do that to a person.
I dress in my favorite pink band tee over hot pink yoga pants and leave my feet bare. The cold floor feels amazing against my skin.
I pad into the main living space, and—did I hit my head? Because there's no other explanation for what I see. Colorful cellophane wrapping glitters under the overhead lights, enveloping delicate yellow roses and baby's breath. I pick up the bouquet and inhale a deep breath of delicate floral scent.
The lovely smell of the roses mingles with the unmistakable aroma of breakfast. Taking the bouquet with me, I continue into the small eat-in kitchen.
Laid atop the table is an impressive spread of breakfast foods.
Crispy bacon, the moist tops of blueberry muffins, waffles next to a cruet of rich maple syrup, and a pitcher of orange juice.
I circle the table taking in all the choices and a bubble of unrestrained glee bursts through my lips.
One of the chairs is pulled out, and on the seat is a pink gift bag with fluffy white tissue paper sprouting from the top.
I shamelessly pick at the tissue paper trying to get a peek of what's inside the bag when I hear Reid clear his voice from nearby.
My face is split wide with a huge smile and my eyes are watering, but this morning the tears are of the happy variety.
“I have no excuse for missing your birthday. When I realized, I knew I needed to do something to show you how special you are to me.” He comes around to my side of the table, watching me intensely the entire way. He runs his weathered hand down his beard a couple of times, eyes burning into me.
“I don’t know what this is between us, but I hope you feel it too.
I’ve already fucked up so many times and I’ve only had you in my life for a couple of months.
I know this doesn’t make up for my actions, but I hope it shows you that I do care about you.
I don’t know how to do any of this. I’m good at pushing people away.
But I hope it’s not too late to pull you back to me. ”
I'm speechless. I can’t believe he did this all for me. In what possible hours did he accomplish all this? He extends his arm to pluck the gift bag from my chair. It dangles from his index finger before me.
“Happy birthday, sugar.”
He moves the bag an inch closer to me in a gesture to take the gift.
I'm feeling a bit lightheaded and wobbly on my feet, so I take a seat in the now empty chair and place the gift bag in my lap. I look up into Reid’s handsome face and he nods at me once in encouraging confirmation.
I pluck each piece of tissue out one by one and unceremoniously drop them to the floor.
My heart soars at what I find in the bag. I pull out a pocket-sized sketchbook and a roll of multicolored pens tied with a bow. I’ve never gotten flowers from a man, let alone a gift.
I look up to find Reid rubbing the back of his neck looking sheepish.
“It’s not much but I thought you could keep it in your purse or something for when you have ideas. I’ve seen you light up when inspiration strikes and you draw on napkins, placemats, sticky notes, any paper you have access to.”
I can’t stop smiling. This man. This broken, closed off, grumpy man did all this.
I don’t think he realizes how much this means to me.
Aside from my sister and my best friend, no one has gotten me a birthday present since I was a tiny kid.
Birthdays stopped being relevant to my parents twenty years ago.
With the sketchbook in one hand and the roll of pens in the other, I barrel into Reid with a ferocious hug, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing every inch of my body into his.
I nuzzle my face into his neck. His beard tickles my ear, and I inhale his clean, masculine scent.
Lips against his scarred neck, I can feel his throbbing pulse as I whisper, “This is everything. Thank you so much.”
He wraps his strong arms around the small of my back, pulling me in tight, and places a kiss to my temple. “You’re welcome, sugar.”
Early evening, a craving hits and I know that nothing will satisfy me except for a slice of greasy cheese pizza. I do a quick internet search and place an order online from a pizzeria in town.
I’m in the bathroom when the doorbell rings, so I come out to find Reid adamantly telling the cowering delivery kid that we didn’t order pizza. I slip under Reid’s arm which is propping the front door open and hand him a cash tip and take the pizza from his shaking hands.
“Thank you! Have a great night! Sorry about him,” I say hiking a thumb over my shoulder to Reid.
Armed with paper plates and napkins, we each take an end of the sofa and set the pizza box on the center cushion.
“I hope you don’t mind pizza for dinner.” I shoot at him with a wink. “You scared that kid half to death” I laugh.
Opening the box, he gives me a curious wrinkle of his brow and shakes his head in amusement.
“Just cheese on your pizza?”
“Why mess with perfection?” I retort.
He takes an enormous bite of pizza, cheese stretching between his teeth and the slice. Mouth full, he says, “Indeed.”
Why is that sexy? That shouldn’t be sexy, right?
Over dinner, our conversation turns to past relationships—of which I have none. But Reid tells me about a couple of high school girlfriends, and a couple of women he loosely dated in his twenties. He speaks about dating and sex with such ease, it makes me burn with embarrassment.
“What’s that look for?” Reid asks, noticing my discomfort. “A beautiful woman like you has to be beating guys off with a stick. I’m sure you’ve dated and broken a few hearts.”
I twist my mouth to the side, unsure of how to broach the subject of my complicated relationship with intimacy. We’ve had the best day, and I don’t feel like trauma dumping on him on my birthday redo.
The pizza box has long been discarded on the floor, and we’ve drifted closer and closer to the center of the sofa. His arm is draped over the back of the couch, and he’s absentmindedly touching the ends of my hair. Tingles prickle my scalp at every touch.
His actions today make me feel like I might be able to trust him. And if something is to ever blossom between us, he deserves to know about my history.
“It’s pretty obvious that you’ve heard the rumors about me.” His eyes blaze with shame. “It’s ok, I earned my reputation. Just not the way you think.”
“I don’t understand. There’s nothing wrong with being a sexual woman, Isabelle. I’m not going to slut-shame you,” he assures me.
“The funny thing is the only reason people believe I'm a slut is because I let them believe it. I never snuffed out a single rumor. The town wrote me off before I ever had a chance to prove them otherwise.” A humorless laugh escapes me.
“I’ve never had a boyfriend. Hell, I’ve never even been on a date.” Reid looks justifiably confused.
“Let’s just say that everything you’ve ever heard about me is probably a big fat lie. Hard to be a slut and a virgin at the same time.” I give him a wry smile and shrug my shoulders.
Reid takes what feels like an eternity to process what I’ve told him before he speaks.
“I’m so fucking sorry, sugar. How are you a virgin? You're the most stunning woman I’ve ever met. I wasn’t joking when I said you probably beat men away with a stick. How has no man ever seen how incredible you are?”
“I don’t have an answer for you, Reid. A bad reputation follows you around like a dark shadow. You can’t escape it, and it grows under the bright light of attention.”
We sit in silence, both lost in thought. I'm jarred back to the present when Reid curls his warm, calloused hand around the nape of my neck and holds me firmly where he wants me.
Leaning in, his beard scratches against my cheek as his deep, sensual voice caresses my ear.
“If I ever had a chance to be with you, to be the lucky bastard who you give yourself to for the first time, I’d treat you like the queen that you are.”
And with that bombshell, his lips graze across my temple and gently kiss my forehead as he stands from the couch.
He clears our plates and the pizza box before I hear the back door open and shut.
I peek out the window to see him pacing in the snow.
Mind reeling from his declaration, I float to my room and get ready for bed on a cloud.
Tucked in the small twin sized bed, I can’t hear a thing in the townhome. The silence encourages my mind to wander and gives me the courage to imagine what it would have been like if Reid had been the first man to touch me.
I wince at the flash of memory of what happened to me, but I push it away. I won’t let that prick keep intimacy from me any longer.
My eyes close and I revisit the sensation of Reid’s beard against the side of my face, his soft lips against my temple and then pressed to my forehead.
The feeling of complete submission to his firm grip on my neck.
I shiver at the thought of him bringing that hand around to the front of my neck and collaring my throat.
My hand involuntarily moves to softly grip my neck where I imagine he’d touch me.
I settle into the fantasy as he trails kisses down my face to my jaw, nipping at the tender spot below my ear. His grip tightens and he holds me exactly where he wants me. The loss of control is intoxicating.
He takes my mouth in a punishing kiss, commanding my body with every sweep of his tongue. He drags his hand down from my throat, across my collarbones, down my sternum between my breasts, fingertips trailing off at the top of my panties. My sex clenches at the feather light teasing touch.
Both of his rough hands come up underneath my sleep shirt to reverently cup my breasts. His calloused thumbs flick back and forth across my peaked nipples. His eyes darken when he realizes they're pierced.
“Off,” he demands as he rips my shirt over my head, leaving me bare beneath him in only panties soaked with my arousal.
He turns feral as he grips my breasts, almost painfully, and tugs on my nipples using the titanium barbells pierced through them.
Each pluck to my nipples sends a bolt of arousal straight to my clit.
I rub my thighs together, trying to ease the ache at my core.
“Touch yourself,” he commands. Straddling my hips, he braces his arms on each side of my head.
He replaces the ministrations of his hands with his glorious, hot, wet mouth.
He alternates sucking my nipples into his mouth and tweaking the piercings between his teeth.
Obeying him implicitly, my hand trails down my stomach and my fingers dip into my panties. My middle fingertip barely grazes my throbbing clit…when I hear Reid come down the hall of the townhome and close his bedroom door.
I'm panting, arousal coursing through my veins.
“Holy shit,” I say to the ceiling.
He hasn’t laid a hand on me, and I already know Reid Andersen has ruined me for all other men.