Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
Summer
The delicious smell of dinner cooking didn’t pick up my spirits like I’d thought it would. I hoped a show would. I found the one free streaming service he was subscribed to. I went to the movie options.
Bride Wars was featured. I looked for another option. Made of Honor. Nope. I picked another. Bridesmaids.
Damn. The universe had a horrible sense of humor.
I shut the TV off and went to the window.
The snow wasn’t as heavy as before. Every few minutes the wind would settle and the blanket of white took away the definition of the landscape. I squinted. I couldn’t tell where the driveway turned into the lawn or dropped off into the ditch.
We weren’t having a blizzard, but on rural mountain roads, it didn’t matter.
The bedroom door opened, but I didn’t turn around. I was already intruding in his home. The guy should be able to go into the bathroom without me watching. A squeak of the door was followed by the shower kicking on.
What did he do for work? I could ask Teller, but my phone was dead.
Although Jonah and Teller didn’t hang out anymore.
I’d overheard Teller talking to Tate and Tenor once.
He’d tried dragging Jonah out, but Jonah’s attitude was hard to put up with.
Sounded like Jonah had chased my brother off, much like he had me.
Although there was one part of that conversation that must have been different.
For so many years, I’d tried not to think about Jonah. But I’d worried about him. I’d discreetly kept tabs on him. Then, eventually, I’d had to move on. I lived and worked in Bozeman and tried to leave that time in my life behind.
After the heartbreak of losing Eli, Jonah’s outburst had wrecked me. As if I hadn’t felt guilty enough. As if I still didn’t.
The shower turned off. I continued staring out the window.
The sun was setting, but in the reflection of the glass I caught a flash of skin.
I zeroed in on the spot, and in the two seconds it took for Jonah to go from the bathroom across the hall to his bedroom, I got a wavering look at his wide, muscled shoulders and the way his back tapered to his waist. His midnight-blue towel was wrapped around his waist. He had the same kind of towels in the bathroom upstairs.
My pulse hummed, the rate higher than moments ago. Great. Now, I was being creepy.
I had no business being attracted to him. None. I never had.
Yet it had never stopped me.
I might’ve ended my engagement a day ago, but I was still a red-blooded woman in her prime. Jonah was the exact opposite of Boyd.
Jonah looked like he could rend me limb from limb, and Boyd hated when his fingers were sticky. Yet Boyd was the more dangerous of the two.
“Doesn’t the TV work?”
I yelped and slammed my hand to my heart. “Oh my god, Jonah. How are you so quiet?”
When I spun, I caught a flash of embarrassment. His damp hair was slicked off his face, revealing dark scruff. The ends of his long strands brushed the top of his collar. He was in a loose green flannel shirt and blue jeans. He leaned on a cane I’d seen propped against the wall by the stairs.
“Rubber bottom,” he said gruffly.
I was a creepy intrusion, and now I could add insulting to the description.
“That’s not what I meant.” His expression remained neutral.
He didn’t believe me and explaining I’d been dwelling on the quick glimpse I’d caught of him in a towel wasn’t an option.
“The TV’s fine. But everything kept coming up wedding themed. ”
“That sucks.”
“Tell me about it.” My ten-thousand-dollar wedding dress was sitting in a heap in the corner of the guest bedroom. I had plenty of reminders I’d been a bride the day before.
He went to the couch and grabbed the remote.
Gray socks were on his feet like the ones I’d found upstairs.
He propped his cane against the cushions and guilt wound inside me.
Autumn had said she thought he rarely came to town because of his injuries.
She’d seen him in the grocery store once and a kid had loudly asked his mom How did that guy get his scars?
Jonah was flying through the options, subscribing to the most popular services.
“What are you— You don’t have to do that. How much will all that cost?” He’d already put himself out enough for me.
The air in the room grew frosty, and he slid his icy gaze toward me. “A guy doesn’t have to be an investment banker to be able to afford a few things.”
“And a guy doesn’t have to think that just because I dated a guy with money means I’m superficial,” I snapped, then stiffened. There I went again.
He reclined against the back of the couch, a small flicker of satisfaction in his eyes. “There she is.”
“Who?” I looked outside. Was someone taking chances on the blanketed roads in the dark?
“The annoying girl I used to know.”
A large part of me sparked alive. A smaller but significant part of me cringed. “You’ve called me worse.”
He sat forward, his expression stricken. His right leg was bent more than his left, but he rested his arms on his knees. “When?”
“At the hospital. After the funeral.”
His face paled under his scruff and the scar stood out even more. With a sinking stomach, I realized why he’d kept the scruff. His facial hair hid the worst of his scarring along his jaw.
When he’d been rehospitalized for an infection in his knee and the doctors had been worried they couldn’t save his leg, the jagged scar on the left side of his face had been hard to look at.
Still fresh and not completely healed, the pink and red puckered flesh had been as furious as the rest of him.
I didn’t know what I had thought, visiting him. Perhaps I did know and that was even worse. I’d deserved to be driven off.
“I, uh . . .” He clenched his teeth together.
“You were in pain. Angry and grieving.” We’d all been, and that was why my last interaction with him had sat so poorly for so long. And because I’d believed him. His words rang clear. I still remembered what he’d said perfectly.
I don’t have the fucking time to deal with you, Summer.
Eli spent every damn day worshipping the ground your arrogant ass struts on and yet he’s dead because of the poison your family makes.
He got a taste for it because you taught him all about bourbon, Little Miss Know It All.
What’d you think coming here? I’d want to steal my brother’s girl?
If you want a guy to follow you like a lovesick puppy, I ain’t it.
We aren’t friends, and we aren’t family.
Now we never will be. Get out of my goddamn face and don’t ever let me see you again.
Jonah cleared his throat. “What I said . . .” He clenched his jaw.
“It’s fine.” I regretted saying anything.
That day topped one of the more horrible ones of my existence, but at least no one had lost their life.
I’d eaten some humble pie, and then I’d gone back to college.
I’d moved on and tried not to think about how right Jonah had been.
I’d forced myself to continue on and never look back.
“I didn’t think about how it would look and I should’ve. ”
There were so many things I should’ve done differently then. So damn many.
“I don’t know what I was thinking,” he said roughly, his denim eyes on mine. “I wasn’t in my right mind, and I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.” His gaze dropped to the floor. “I knew better. I knew you weren’t there out of more than concern, but I was mad at the world. I’m sorry.”
The oven beeped. Words locked in my throat. He shouldn’t be apologizing, yet I was caught in the past.
I scurried into the kitchen, leaving him to stare at his clasped hands.
Jonah
She ate primly, cutting her roast, sliding the piece of meat through her steak sauce. Then she leaned forward ever so slightly and slipped the food between her pink lips.
The reminder of our last significant conversation had killed the awkward but comfortable air between us. I’d pulled up a bunch of channels for her to watch, many with a free trial period, not that I needed to pinch my pennies, and then I’d taken her comment and lashed out at her.
I speared a piece of medium-done roast and stuffed it in my mouth. The savory flavor bloomed over my tongue. “This is Dunn beef.”
She sawed another chunk off. “I thought so.”
Was I trying to impress her? To show her I wasn’t a useless mountain man? Everyone thought I did nothing up in my shack in the boondocks. I didn’t, but I was also no longer able to help Dad as much as he needed. My horseback days were done thanks to my left leg, but also, I had my own work.
These days, Dad hired out, preferring to take more of an office and oversight role. Mom had done the same and I sat out more ranch events every year. I was tired of Dad scrambling to make accommodations, and I was busy with my own job, so it hadn’t mattered.
Did Summer even remember when I had crossed paths with her and Boyd the Slapper?
Two years ago, I’d made a stop at the hardware store.
I’d been waiting for my order to get brought out.
Summer had walked in, said a surprised and tense hi to me, and I’d nodded.
She’d kept walking. The jackass hadn’t waited until I was out of earshot before snidely asking if she knew all the homeless men in town.
I hadn’t heard her reply, but now I was dying to know how she’d responded.
We ate in silence. Darkness cloaked the house.
She picked up her plate, but stopped, holding the dishes off the tabletop.
Heat prickled my body. When she set her items down and ran her hand over the polished wood, I could’ve groaned. The surface became an extension of me.
“This table is amazing. Reminds me of the north entrance of Yellowstone in the spring after the melt.”
My ears heated. Good thing my hair was long enough to hide the red tips.
Goddammit, of course she’d nail the exact effect I’d gone for.
She traced a finger along the river of blue epoxy poured between the slabs of black walnut.
The path between the wooden frame wove like a river and the color reached the top of the wood before fading like water along a shore.
She feathered her fingertips along the edges. “So smooth. I’ve always loved these tables. There was one I wanted last year. I saw it in Kendra’s Eats and Seats, but Boyd . . .” Her shoulders slumped. “Just another time I listened to him when I shouldn’t’ve.”
Kendra’s Eats and Seats was a small sandwich shop and furniture store.
Customers could buy the items they ate off and sat on.
Local crafters used Kendra’s place to sell a lot of their wares without having to worry about the sales part of the deal.
Kendra took care of it all and loved showcasing local talent.
“Was it the coffee table with a half-barrel stand and a wood and resin top?”
She tapped her finger. “That’s the one. You saw that too?”
“I made it.”
She blinked at me. Blinked again. “You made that?”
“The barrel is from Copper Summit.”
Her lips parted and she continued to stare at me.
“Carrie Kloss bought the table for the dentist’s office. Pretty good work for a homeless guy, huh?” Why had I tacked on the last part? She didn’t need to deal with asshole Jonah this weekend.
The shame from yesterday returned to her eyes. I was a son of a bitch.
“I’m sorry you heard that. Boyd was insecure and I told him he was being rude.” Her lips pursed. “He pouted for a week.” She shook her head like she was coming out of a fog. “I’m surprised you work with oak barrels. Or Copper Summit.”
“Like you said, I was upset. I know Copper Summit Distillery isn’t responsible for Eli’s death. And neither are you,” I tacked on quietly.
Her eyes grew haunted. “Right,” she murmured. “Does Teller deliver the barrels?”
I frowned. “Why would he? He’s got better things to do.”
“He’d make time.”
He probably would. Teller was another tenacious Bailey, but even he’d given up on me. “We don’t have much in common anymore. It’s not like I can haul a canoe anywhere.”
“Why can’t you canoe?”
Because I’d gotten tired of how many accommodations I needed to do what used to come so easy. “Same reason as hunting. Uneven ground and a bulky canoe make my knee upset.” My whole left side.
Sadness filled her eyes, and instead of my ire rising toward her, I was upset with myself.
I had the strongest urge to earn so much more than sadness from her.
I could canoe if I wanted. I might need to book another massage afterward, or take a few more over-the-counter pain meds, but I could do it.
If it was a short trip from car to shore. And if the shore wasn’t terribly rocky.
I missed the fun. I missed laughing with my friends. I missed trekking anywhere I wanted. As always, thoughts of Eli crowded around my wants and guilt took over. My mood wasn’t the only one that changed.
Summer’s demeanor had shifted to melancholy. Did something about our conversation remind her of her wedding? She shook her head. “I need to take a bath.”
“Leave the dishes. You cooked. I’ll clean up.” It was the least I could do for letting my resentment show when she’d stuck with me for support.
She kept her head down and nodded. Then she scurried from the room, the hem of her beachy dress fluttering.
I tipped my head back. I was the asshole brother. I shouldn’t have brought up that day I’d seen her and Boyd. Eli hadn’t been a saint but he’d never made her feel bad about herself or her circumstances.
I put away the leftovers and loaded the dishwasher. I was about to go sit on the couch but changed course to my bedroom. She might want to watch TV, and she didn’t need to be afraid of another outburst from me.
When I passed the bathroom, the water was running but I caught an unmistakable sound. Quiet weeping.
My chest was flayed open. She was crying. I’d made the broken bride cry.
Goddammit, the sooner the roads were cleared, the better she’d be getting off my land and back to her family. I’d never lay a hand on her, but making her cry didn’t make me much better than her crappy ex.