Chapter 21 #3
I sat back on his thighs and took my time rolling the condom down. His cock twitched under my fingers, and he massaged my thighs. I gave his erection a few lazy pumps. His gaze was on my hand, then on the junction between my thighs, then back to my hand.
“Get on, wife. Show me how you ride.”
My chest grew tight. Wife.
I shifted and placed him at my entrance. Then I sank down. Slowly. With each inch, he balled up with tension, his knees bending behind me. He rolled up slightly.
When I was fully seated and so damn full of him, I rocked to adjust to his size. “You’re so big.” I might sound like I was in a porn, but I was telling the truth. I’d thought penises like his were a fantasy. It was like I’d special ordered him. Give me an almost perfect husband to test for a month.
“Jesus.” He crunched up, gripped my ass to grind me down onto him, and tongued a nipple.
A long, needy moan left me. “Gideon.”
I didn’t have much room to move, but I did. He loosened his grip and lay back. “Fucking ride me, firecracker.”
I tipped my head back, my hair brushed against my lower spine, and I stuck my chest out. I increased the pace and my breasts swayed, then bounced, just like he wanted.
“Fuck, yes,” he said tightly.
I was ready to ride him for as long as he wanted, letting my climax build and stall. I could control the rise in this position. But then he ran his thumb across my lips. I licked it. Heat filled his gaze a second before he dropped that thumb and stroked it across my soaked clit.
Oh god. I gasped and had to tip forward. He was working my clit as I rode him. The sensations were too much and then he used his other hand to massage a nipple.
“Gideon,” I whined.
“Say it again.”
“Gideon.” I was getting out of breath. I was fighting off the climax, wanting this to last longer, but it was impossible with him.
“What else can you call me?”
My mind was too focused on my center to work. “Gideon.”
“What else, rusty?”
Right. Nickname. “City boy?”
“What else?” He eased the pressure on my clit. I wanted to cry. I had to come. I needed to.
A tremble racked my body. I was on the precipice, and he was keeping me there.
“What else, wife?”
I never called him anything else, but I knew what he wanted. “H-husband.”
The calloused stroke of his thumb was back. The storm inside me reached a crescendo and explosions detonated behind my eyes. I flung my head back, crying out something unintelligible.
He rolled up, grinding into me, his hips bucking as he came. I wrapped my arms around him, and he buried his head into my chest.
“Fuck, Autumn.”
When I crashed down, he caught me. I was limp. He rolled us to the side. No one would guess I wasn’t the one who’d spent the day on a horse. I let him slip out of my body. The baggy end of the condom dragged against my thigh. He glanced between us and his expression shuttered.
What did that look mean?
I was about to snuggle into him when he reached over the edge of the bed and grabbed the towel.
We silently cleaned up. I waited until we were both back in bed before I turned out the light. When it was dark, I could cuddle against him since we often woke up that way. But tonight, there was a weird distance between us since we’d climaxed together.
Had I done something wrong?
Was I overthinking it all? He had to get up early again tomorrow and miss more work. Maybe he was stressing.
The thought didn’t seem quite right.
“I’m sorry I won’t get you pregnant.” His words were quiet in the dark.
Surprised, I stared at the dark wall. He had drawn away because of me?
“I understand.” Since he was vulnerable, I could expose myself a little more.
I might’ve ranted about how I wasn’t naive, but at the same time, I was.
“It was silly of me to think you’d plant the seed and move on as if you gave zero fucks.
” He’d care deeply about a kid. Was that what scared him?
“A lot of guys do.”
“Not you.”
“No. I couldn’t. You’d be a good mom.”
Heat poked the backs of my eyes. I wanted a family, but I didn’t want to sacrifice who I was.
I wanted what my parents had had. Mama Starr and Daddy Bjorn had been committed to each other.
He could’ve left Mama Starr with four young kids.
Same with Mama Starr. But they’d stuck together through the hard times until the end.
Not only had they been each other’s support, but they’d kept the gravity of our situation to themselves.
Then there were my Bailey parents. So damn dedicated to each other. A solid foundation. Yes, I wanted kids. But I wanted a partner in life more. I wanted someone to share laughs with, someone to vent to, someone to commiserate with. I wanted that support. To be loved for me.
Could I be a single mom? Yes. And I’d probably be a good one. I was fortunate to have a huge support system. But that was only a part of my dream.
“Thank you,” I said. Was this one of those times I should tell him the same? “For what it’s worth, the fact that you care means you’d probably be a good—”
“No. I wouldn’t. I’m too much like my dad.”
“Gideon.” I was reaching for him when he rolled over, giving me the broad, shadowed expanse of his back.
“Good night, Autumn.”