Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16
Moana sat on her parents’ back porch with a big-ass glass of wine. She stared off into the night sky.
The day’s events still felt surreal.
Parker had cut a deal, though he would still most likely spend a little time in jail.
Rosco had tried to escape and gotten himself killed. That news had come as a bit of a shock. Pangs of guilt filled her soul, but only because she had no real sense of emotion about his death. It wasn’t that she was glad he was gone. She didn’t want anyone to die.
But Rosco wasn’t just anyone.
He was a bad man who had held her sister and Liko hostage.
His death just made her numb.
The sliding glass doors opened and her sister joined her at the table. “Liko will be out in a minute.”
“Not that I’m upset he’s going to be part of the conversation because it’s your relationship you’re going to be telling me about, but I am curious as to why he has to be here because you’ve made it such a big deal.”
“You’ll understand in a little bit.” Kalena sipped her soda.
“Would you like me to get rid of my wine?”
“No. Your drinking does not bother me,” Kalena said. “I’ve been clean and sober for a few months now. It feels so good to have a clear head finally. I don’t believe I’ve had one since I was a teenager.”
“I can’t say I’ve ever seen you this poised.”
Kalena chuckled. “I’ve lived a hard life. Addiction is a terrible thing. It tells you that you love the drug more than you love those who matter most.”
“I can attest to that as well.” Liko stepped onto the patio. He was well over six feet. He had long dark hair. Dark skin. Dark eyes.
Incredibly handsome.
Moana thought he had to be a few years older than her sister, but she wasn’t exactly sure.
“Your boyfriend just arrived,” Liko said, taking a seat. “Your mother is entertaining him while we have this chat.”
“Poor Bowie.” Kalena laughed. “He has no idea what’s he’s in for, does he?”
“He’s met mother before and he comes from a big family whom he says can embarrass the hell out of him,” Moana said. “I’m sure he’ll be able to hold his own.”
“I don’t know. Your mother has a way about her.” Liko flipped open his soda can. “Spending too much time alone with her makes this grown man shake in his flip-flops. Add that cowboy hat of Bowie’s, and his job as a SEAL, well, he’s in for a game of twenty questions that he can’t be prepared for.”
“Not to mention I think this little girl is in love.” Kalena patted Moana’s thigh. “You do love him, don’t you?”
Moana’s cheeks heated. Bowie had said those words, once, during a high-stress situation. He had yet to repeat them, and he’d had the opportunity during the drive to the hospital.
And again while they were alone in the waiting room.
But he hadn’t.
Which could only mean he didn’t honestly feel that way.
However, she did with her entire heart.
“Have you told him?” Liko asked.
“No,” Moana whispered. “It’s complicated with him being in the Navy. And we barely know each other.”
“Don’t let him walk out of your life without telling him, if that’s how you feel,” Liko said.
“You work a lot with addicts?” Moana asked, wanting to redirect the conversation.
“I do.” Liko stretched out his legs. “But I’m also one myself. I’ve been sober now for thirty-five years.”
Moana pushed her drink to the side.
“You don’t have to do that,” Liko said. “Please, feel free to enjoy your wine. It’s been a long day and considering what you experienced, no one will fault you a glass.”
“It just feels strange, considering.” Moana sighed. “I take it you were at the hospital when my sister nearly overdosed a few months ago and you’ve been helping her ever since.”
“That is true.” Liko nodded. “But I think we need to give more of our history.” He draped his arm over the back of Kalena’s chair. “I’ve known your sister—mother—since we were kids.”
“You told him.” Moana reached for her wine and took a big gulp. For years, Moana had often wondered if her sister had been ashamed of being her mother and that’s why the family had kept the big secret.
“You say that as if you don’t want anyone to know.” Kalena took Moana’s hands. “Because it’s not like I wanted to keep that lie going. But let’s face it. I wasn’t capable of being a mom to you.”
“I understand that and the only reason I don’t tell anyone is because this family wanted the lie. We all perpetuated it and I believed I was doing what everyone wanted.”
“In a way you were. Maybe if I hadn’t been on drugs, I could have been a mom to you, with our parents help. I can sit here and give you a million excuses. I can tell you story after story as to why, after I had you, I kept going back to the drugs. One of which has to do with why I wanted Liko here, but it’s not his fault. He wasn’t the problem. He was just another excuse I used to fill my nose full of coke. To be miserable. To punish Mom and Dad. Maybe even you.”
“Me? Why?” Moana choked back a sob. “For being born?”
“She doesn’t say these things to hurt you,” Liko said. “Please understand it’s not about you.”
“I regret most things in my life, but having you isn’t one of them.” Kalena swiped at her cheeks. “You are the one good thing I’ve done. Letting Mom and Dad raise you was the best decision I’ve ever made. Though the constant reminder of how badly I screwed up played into my addiction, it’s not the reason for it.”
“Sweetheart, there is no reason.” Liko leaned over and kissed Kalena’s cheek.
“I know.” Kalena nodded. “When I found out I was pregnant, I was on this downward spiral already. Liko had left Big Island and I had no way of reaching him. His parents had made sure of that.”
“Wait. What?” Moana sat up taller, glancing between Liko and her sister. “You two were an item back then?” Her heart sank like a brick to the depths of her soul.
“When Kalena and I met, she was fifteen. I was nineteen and that was a problem on so many levels,” Liko said.
“I lied to you about my age.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Liko said. “I was drinking heavily. Doing stupid shit and I met this sweet girl who turned my world upside down. I’ll always feel guilty about introducing Kalena to that world.”
“You did nothing of the sort.” Kalena cocked her head.
Moana grappled with the thoughts that were scrambling through her brain like a runaway train.
“I had already tasted booze by the time I met you and I liked the feeling. Addiction was taking hold of me already,” Kalena said. “When Liko turned twenty, his parents had enough of his bullshit. And frankly, they didn’t like me. Thought I was too young and way too aggressive.”
Liko shook his head. “They were worried I’d be arrested for statutory rape, which could have happened. Not to mention they wanted me off drugs. They took me off Big Island and got me into rehab, where I stayed for two months. I got my shit together and went to college. I did everything I could to try to forget about Kalena. Years passed, but I never could shake her from my thoughts.” Liko set his can on the table and leaned forward. “Right after my residency, I started coming back to Big Island, looking for Kalena.” He wiped a hand across his face. “I should have known that what I was looking at was the lie everyone presented to the world. I shouldn’t have believed that lie, but I did. It was hard not to when you were playing in the street calling your parents mom and dad. But please know that if I had known you were my flesh and blood, I wouldn’t have stayed away for as long as I did.”
Moana covered her mouth, gasped, but held Liko’s gaze.
“Why didn’t my parents know about you? Or Mano? We had a list of potential men who could have been my dad, but you weren’t on that list.” A million more questions flooded her mind.
“His age,” Kalena said. “I always knew how old he was and knew Mom and Dad wouldn’t approve. I also didn’t want anyone to know about Liko. He was the one good thing in my life at that time. At least that’s the way I looked at it.” She smiled. “And while I was already drinking almost daily and popping some pills, I felt love for this man. It’s why when he left, I became so depressed and everyone thought something bad must have happened. When I had to tell our folks I was pregnant, I let them believe what they needed to in order for them to feel better and me to feel shittier. I know it’s not the right answer or one that will make you feel any better about this situation. I’ve lied to you for your entire life. I’ve kept you from this sweet man and him from you. It’s a struggle every day not to go back to the drugs because it’s so hard to forgive myself for that.”
“I don’t blame you for what you did.” Liko squeezed Kalena’s shoulder. “I could have come back after rehab and told you that I loved you and tried to get you the help you needed. But I didn’t.” He took her hand and kissed it. “There are so many what-ifs, but we can’t change the past. We can only learn from it and move forward.”
“He’s right about that one.” Moana lifted her wineglass and took a tiny sip. “And to be fair, my life didn’t suck. I actually had a decent childhood.”
“Minus the addict for a sister.” Kalena let out a slight chuckle.
“Not really all that funny; however, having you as a sister was better than not having you at all.” Moana wrapped her arms around Kalena and hugged her tight, letting the tears come freely.
Strong arms came around both of them.
“I’m hoping to spend a little time getting to know you, if that’s okay,” Liko whispered. “Before we were kidnapped, we had planned on telling you all of this, but in smaller doses.”
“I think one big Band-Aid was better.” She lifted her gaze. “How did I end up so short? I mean, Kalena is five-eight. You’re like a giant. What the hell happened to me?”
Liko burst out laughing. “My mother was only five foot one where my dad is six-one.”
“That explains a lot, I guess,” she said. “I would like to go out to coffee. Just the two of us.” Moana leaned back, examining Liko’s features, finding so much of herself in him.
“I’m not asking to take the place of your dad. I know that’s not possible,” Liko said.
“But you are my father,” Moana said.
Kalena pressed her finger over Moana’s mouth. “This is a strange family dynamic and it’s going to take us time to navigate it. I’ve been your sister for thirty-five years. But I also gave birth to you. My—our—parents raised you. I got a front row seat and I didn’t even do that well. So much of my life is barely even a foggy memory.”
“Both of us want a relationship with you,” Liko said. “And we’d like for you to accept us as a couple.”
Moana leaned back. “I think it’s sweet that you two have found each other again after all these years.”
“So do we.” Liko jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “Now, your mom has gotten out the dreaded photo album. Shall we go save that boyfriend of yours from her?”
“Probably a good idea.” Only, Moana wasn’t sure he was her boyfriend anymore.
Moana leaned against Bowie’s vehicle. The evening had been the biggest emotional drain, yet it had also proven to be one of the happiest days of her life.
Only, she had no idea where she stood with Bowie.
He’d survived dinner with her mother, sister, and Liko. He even sat with her dad, who seemed to enjoy Bowie’s story about getting bit by a shark. He’d been attentive, but there had been no opportunity to chat with him alone.
Until now.
He ran his thumb across her cheek. “A penny for your thoughts.”
Oh, she had so many, but where to start?
She shivered.
“What’s wrong, babe?” He took off his cowboy hat and placed it on the hood of the Jeep.
“For starters, I don’t want to stay in my apartment. Not sure I’ll ever want to stay there again,” she said. “I know that’s weird. Rosco is dead. He can’t hurt me anymore. But he was in my home, which felt like one massive violation.”
“You can stay with me tonight.” He gripped her hips, drawing her close. “As a matter of fact, you can stay with me all the nights I’m here on Big Island.”
“I spoke to my mom—or I guess my grandma—about moving back home,” she said softly. “My dad doesn’t have much time left.”
“Is that where you’d prefer to stay tonight?” He brushed his lips across her forehead. “Everything you learned about your family is a lot. I get that. I can’t fault you for wanting to spend time with them.”
It was now or never. “It’s not so much that I want to stay there tonight.” She lifted her gaze. “You said something to me on the phone while Rosco was waving a gun in my face. You told me to remember it no matter what happened. Well, I remember. But it seems you have forgotten. Or maybe you didn’t mean it at all, and now I sound as pathetic as Rosco.” She lowered her chin and stared at her toes, which desperately needed a polish change.
“Hey. Eyes up here.” He cupped her chin. “I absolutely have not forgotten. I’ve been thinking about those words all day and trying to find the perfect time to repeat them. Driving didn’t seem appropriate because I wouldn’t have been able to do this.” He kissed her like an old lover would. It was soft. Gentle. Tender. But packed all the love in the world. “The hospital felt like the least romantic place to say them. I mean, it wasn’t great the first time I uttered the words. And I certainly wasn’t going to do it in front of your mother. She’d have us married tomorrow.”
“That is a true statement,” Moana said. “But you haven’t uttered them since.”
“I guess no time like the present.” He kissed her nose. “I’m crazy in love with you.”
She glided her hands up his biceps. Her heart fluttered like a little girl with a big crush. “That puts us in a predicament now, doesn’t it?”
“What do you mean?” He arched a brow.
“Your re-enlistment papers.”
“Ah. Those nasty little things.” He sighed. “Before we have that discussion, I have two questions for you.”
“Okay.”
“Do you love me?”
“Yes.”
He smiled. “I need you to say the words.”
“I might want to leave you hanging. I mean, you said them and then hung up on me. That was rude.”
“It was. But I couldn’t have you say them to my entire team and Waylen’s team. They were all listening. I mean, now I wouldn’t care. But the first time? In that situation.” He shook his head. “Nope. I would have been harassed until the day I die. But now I do need the three little words.”
“Fine,” she said. “I love you. What’s the second question?”
“Are you spending the night at my place?”
“Only because I’m horny and Kalena and Liko—my parents—are kind of disgusting with the PDA. If they are getting some, so am I.”
He laughed, pulling open the passenger door of his vehicle. “Flint tells me we have a conference call in two days with our CO about the problem I can’t discuss with you. I’ll know then if he wants us to sign or if I’m taking a month leave, but I’ll speak with the guys about it. I don’t believe re-enlisting will be in my future.”
“Bowie, that’s not what I meant.”
He jerked his head. “I’m not following.”
“You’ve already explained to me—at least what you can—about why or why not you would re-enlist. Truthfully, I understand. I wouldn’t dream of asking you not to as I imagine you would never ask me to give up my teaching job or my songwriting.”
“You’re right. I can’t think of a scenario that would make me want to even suggest you quit on your dreams. Especially for me.” He took his Stetson and tossed it in the back seat. “But I believe this is different.”
“No. It’s not. And if it comes down to your team needing to sign those papers, we’ll figure it out. I lived in Nashville for years and still remained close to my family. We might have had our problems, but I came back.” She pressed her finger over his lips. “I know with my dad, I’ll need to be here a lot. And really, I can’t just quit my job in the middle of the semester. But your base isn’t all that far away. Mano has a private jet and he owes me. Big-time. And I still want to join that mile high club. We can make it work for whatever length of time you have to sign on that dotted line for.”
“My family is going to think I drugged you or something, because you are way too good for me.”
“This is true.” She raised up on tiptoe, wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and planted her lips right where they belonged.