29. Wolfe #2
We were ready well before five o’clock, having done everything possible to make the cabin presentable. And I knew Blue wanted the cabin to make a good impression. Maybe even to make Jack a tad jealous.
“Why?” I’d asked.
“He’s got a nana,” Blue had said.
“She’s yours too,” I said with a kiss to his temple. “She doesn’t pat just anyone on the cheek like that.” I didn’t really know if that was true, but I felt it was. “Only the special ones.”
At two minutes after five, when the sun was hovering over the tree line, casting dusky, slanted shadows as the chill in the air grew, the shiny red truck showed up, and Morgan and Jack got out. The front door was wide open for them, and I waited to let them in.
Inside, Blue was standing by the kitchen table, twisting the hem of his t-shirt.
We’d moved the table to the center of the kitchen, set it for four, adding a bench seat so everyone would have a place to sit.
And I thought, with the way Blue was holding back, that he didn’t really want the two of them there, in which case, the dinner would be quick, as I had no wish to put Blue through that, no matter how good the lemon cake was.
Instead, Blue pushed past me to hug Jack, who had to put the two takeaway bags he was carrying on the floor, and for a moment they stood there together, a second reunion in the same day. Morgan flicked me a glance as he moved toward the table.
“Mind if I go ahead and sit down?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said. “Can I take your cane?”
“Sure.”
I took the cane and put it against the wall near the back door. My nerves were climbing. I wasn’t a good host to begin with and had no idea how to make this easier than it felt.
Then Jack pulled back, his hands on Blue’s shoulders, and said, “Trust you to end up in the prettiest place I’ve ever seen.” He waved a hand toward the back door, at the light glowing through the trees beyond the rise. “I’ll bet you go out and watch that sunset every night.”
“Sometimes.” Blue ducked his chin, but I could tell he was pleased. “The Yellowstone River is on the edge of the property.”
And all at once I figured it out. There was a rivalry between these two. Who had what. Who was better at what. They would settle it between them eventually, perhaps over the goal of finding Star.
“You fellows want to go and take a look?” I asked. “I’ll play mother. You go on.”
They were up and outside before I even picked up the to-go bags from the floor. I placed them on the counter, then looked at Morgan, who was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, his coat still on, looking like he wanted his cane so he could tap it.
“The energy,” he said, looking up at me. “It’s twenty-four seven every day.” The words were a complaint, but could see in his eyes the love he had for Jack. He shook his head, his jaw working as he straightened up, his eyes bright. “Don’t know what I’d do without him.”
“Don’t know what my life would be without Blue.” My throat felt thick as I said it. I turned to the food, taking out containers, focusing on the rustle of paper bags, the impossible question of how to lever open tiny edges of aluminum that curled over the edges of plastic containers.
“What’s his real name?” Morgan asked from behind me. I heard the sound of him taking off his coat and went to grab it so I could put it on the couch.
“That’s his story to tell,” I said, gripping the fabric in a near-fist.
“Fair enough,” he said. “Can I help?” he asked. “Jack made me start exercising so I can stand for a good deal longer now.”
“You can get the to-go boxes open,” I said. “My thick fingers can’t manage.”
He came to my side and started on the task, and something in my chest relaxed.
Together we put the two quarts of red sauce in a pan to heat up and put the chilled homemade spaghetti in the colander to heat it up in the water I put on to boil.
The garlic bread went on a pan in the oven, set to low; the antipasto dish we put in the middle of the table.
Within minutes, the house began to smell amazing.
I made tea, and Morgan and I sat down at the table. The back door was open, and we watched the sky grow dark, the shadows lengthen.
“Door open, okay?” I asked him. “I like the fresh air.”
“Sure,” he said. “This tea is good.”
I could see in his eyes the question: Why not coffee?
It might be a while, but eventually I would be able to tell him that while in prison I’d drunk more shitty coffee than I cared to remember, simply because the water tasted like chlorine and the milk was powdered and watered down.
There’d been no tea on the inside; now that I was on the outside, there was tea.
“How’s the shop?” he asked, being a good guest, inquiring after his host.
“It’s good,” I said, eyeing the antipasto. “I’m just going to start on this, okay?”
Morgan nodded and then joined me, taking olives while I took slices of hard cheese.
“Blue’s got a dab hand,” I said. “A real gift. He drew some great designs for key rings we’re making for the church bazaar.
You know.” I nodded at him. “To raise money for the Grange. He’s also making fancier designs, though I don’t know what we’ll do with ‘em because they’re too fussy for the bazaar. ”
Morgan nodded back, his eyes somber because he wasn’t leaving Hysham any time soon. I knew that’d been his original goal. It wasn’t any goal now.
“I want to make hand-braided hackamores,” I said.
“You know, out of rawhide. I’m saving up to buy a lace cutter, but it looks like I’ll have to make a lot of key rings first.” The reality of this hit me, inside, a sharp poke that maybe my dreams of artistry would have to be supported by something more commercial and mundane.
“You could have a display at the feed and grain,” Morgan said, somewhat suddenly, sitting up with a wince.
He rubbed his knee. “You know, by the cash register. A little rack that turns. Sure, people will buy at the bazaar, but there’s no reason that might stop.
You could sell your fancy ones through the feed and grain. ”
“You’d get a commission,” I said, tipping my head back to toss an olive into my open mouth.
“A very little one,” Morgan said. “Friendship rate.”
He went a little still, and I sensed the question in the statement, like an offer on a playground, when friendships could be formed by asking, Wanna be friends?
“That sounds good,” I said. Inside my chest relaxed even more.
We heard shouts from the field, and laughter, and finally Blue appeared in the open doorway, cheeks pink, fair hair flying about, and he was smiling. Behind him, in the growing darkness, was Jack, stomping his boots to get the mushy snow off the toes.
I stood up to gather Blue in my arms to inhale the fresh air that had collected on his skin, not thinking for a moment that I had an audience. He looked better than I’d seen him only a little while before. He looked happy. Having Jack in his life was a good thing, a very good thing.
“Get a room, you two,” Jack said brightly, brushing past. “Did you eat all the olives?”
“You wound me,” Morgan said. “Look. I left the black ones for you.”
When the food was ready, we ate as though we’d been starving, and certainly our two young men made inroads on the garlic bread, leaving only a slice or two for Morgan and me.
The lemon cake we had after the meal was amazing, making me wonder why I’d never gone into town to try out the little restaurants and shops. Why I’d not connected with the townspeople more than I had. Perhaps it was time.
I made a second pot of tea in the cherry-red teapot, and we sat around the table, the lights blazing in the cabin, and talked about spreadsheets and grid maps and places that Star had once said he’d like to travel to.
Voices and laughter rose to the ceiling; the quiet solitude of my environment transformed into something lively and warm. Something other than what it had been.
I wasn’t on my own any more. I had Blue, and Morgan, and Jack. And Mabel and Mister Rocket. I had my workshop and my tools, and a craft I wanted to perfect. I had everything I needed and more.
Then Blue jumped up and pushed my chair back so he could sit in my lap, a sweep of warm air from around his shoulders settling upon me, as gently as though he’d flown to me on wings. My arm went around his waist, and I looked up so he could kiss me. Right there in front of everybody.
“Seriously,” said Jack with a laugh, taking the very last slice of garlic bread and shoving it in his mouth. “You two need to get a room.”
I saw Morgan smile at this saucy statement, and stopped a second, never having seen him really smile before. Then I kissed Blue and closed my eyes, trapping the moment for memory.