Chapter Fourteen #3
A sexy chuckle rumbled from Diesel and ran down Kuba’s spine. Everything about Diesel got to Kuba. “Believe it or not, yeah. I still don’t think she’s ready to introduce us yet, but that has nothing to do with me. I get it. She has her reasons, and she’s entitled to them.”
Kuba couldn’t tear his eyes away from the way Diesel’s t-shirt stretched across his wide shoulders. “Yeah. After raising you alone, I imagine she’s scared to let anyone back into her life fully again.” Kuba stood and got two mugs from the cabinet.
“Yeah. I can’t blame her. My concern is Tory. How does all this make her feel? Maybe she won’t stick around if Mom can’t get past this.”
Kuba nodded. “That’s a tough one.”
They were so normal, but cautious. It was like neither of them knew where to start. Kuba ended up being the one who couldn’t take the suspense.
“I love you. I’ve missed you a lot.”
Diesel poured the steaming water over the tea bags. “I love you too. What do you plan to do about it?” Diesel carried his cup to the table and sat. He glanced at the clock. “Give that two minutes to steep.”
“And cool down,” Kuba added, joining him at the table.
Diesel’s gorgeous smile made an appearance. “That too.”
Kuba nodded, unsure what to do with his head. “I plan to beg you to come back home and give me another chance.”
“What does that look like to you?”
Kuba furrowed his brow. “Begging?”
Another blinding smile exploded across Diesel’s lips. “No. What does our life together look like to you when I move home?” Diesel blew on his tea as he openly waited for Kuba’s response.
Kuba gave the question some real thought before answering.
“I don’t know. Truth be told, my entire life has been so focused on humiliating Dread that I don’t know what my future looks like without that hatred to keep me going.
Since I’m done with that, I have no clue what life looks like.
But I know I see you there and I don’t know how to fix what I’ve done. ”
“You apologized.”
“That doesn’t feel like enough.” Kuba couldn’t stop the desperate note in his voice.
“Did you mean your apology?”
Kuba didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
Diesel remained serious. “Do you intend a repeat performance?”
“Fuck, no.”
A sweet smile touched Diesel’s lips. “Then I accept your apology.”
Despite the happiness that poured through Kuba’s veins, he couldn’t stop. “Why would you do that? I’m a terrible person.”
Diesel took a sip of his tea and then set it aside.
He put his hand on the table, face up, for Kuba to take.
Kuba didn’t hesitate. The moment Diesel held his hand, he brought it to his mouth and kissed it.
Then he made a point of holding Kuba’s stare.
“You are not a terrible person. We had a fight, and we definitely need to learn to communicate better. In my heart, I knew you were deliberately keeping me a secret. I just didn’t realize how much that secret would destroy your life.
Even though I knew you likely wouldn’t come out, I stayed.
The moment you saw that clip and shut down, I could’ve left.
I could’ve called Saint or Steel and had another guy here in under ten minutes.
It didn’t really feel like we were over until after your fight.
You’ve been under a level of stress that I can’t even imagine.
If my dad, wherever he is, was so publicly taunting my mom with his existence, I can’t say I wouldn’t have felt the same way. ”
That was it. That was their saving grace. If Diesel wasn’t as close to his mom as Kuba had been with his, he might not get it. But it was Diesel, and Diesel got it.
“I really do love you so fucking much. I hope that you believe that.”
“I do, but I have to tell you: that shit hurt. You yelling at the top of your lungs in front of everyone that you were just using me hurt. I’m opening myself back up here for you to pull that mess twice, and I’m not okay with that.
Me loving you doesn’t give you permission to humiliate me.
You have no idea how big a risk I took on you the first go-around.
I thought you were different from all the people over the years who have thought I’m property because they pay my salary. ”
“I am different. All I can do is prove that every day.”
Diesel’s gaze dropped to the table. He shook his head and lifted his gaze again to meet Kuba’s stare. “The thought of never holding you again is one of the worst pains I’ve ever felt in my life. I love you so much, it makes me dumb, but I want this. I want us.”
Kuba was too overwhelmed by the entire situation to know how to react. “Me too.” He glanced toward the clock. “It’s midnight. We’ve slept all day.” His gaze moved back to Diesel. “How are you feeling?”
A smile exploded across Diesel’s face. “Fucking exhausted.”
Kuba stood. “Let’s go to bed.”
Diesel pushed to his feet. Hand in hand, they made their way to their bedroom, climbed into bed, and snuggled the way they used to do every night.
Kuba had no idea how long they simply held each other in the dark before they fell asleep.
It didn’t matter because no amount of time would ever be enough.