Chapter 10 The Notebook
When I arrived at the meeting place, Zhou Chaoqing was already there.
“Have you been waiting long?”
“Not long.”
His voice was as low as usual, but it lacked its normal cold edge. The end of his words even carried a faint, almost unnoticeable tremble.
“What did you want to see me about?”
“I heard you’re quitting the joint project. And applying for the PhD here at our school.”
Zhou Chaoqing paused.
“Yeah. I didn’t expect you to find out so soon. I was planning to tell you after everything was finalized.”
I looked at him. There were heavy dark circles under his eyes.
“Why?”
He gave a small smile. Light came into his eyes.
“I checked our school’s admission guidelines. Some Advisors’ research directions connect well with what I was doing before. The platform isn’t as big as overseas ones, but…”
He paused, looked straight at me, voice serious.
“You don’t want to change your plan. So I’ll change mine. If you want to stay here for your PhD, I want to stay too.”
“I’ve been preparing materials these past few days. I’m serious. It’s not a whim.”
He took out that Notebook.
The plans inside had clearly been rewritten.
Almost completely overturned and redone.
The strong, confident handwriting showed how determined and thorough he was.
I handed the Notebook back to him and spoke softly.
“Zhou Chaoqing, you don’t have to do this.”
“You worked so hard toward your goals before. Giving them up for me—you’ll regret it.”
He shook his head, voice calm.
“I won’t regret it. Compared to you, none of that matters. I was the one who was wrong before. I always made you compromise. This time let me be the one to…”
I cut him off.
“You will regret it. I know that feeling too well.”
“Those compromises—I told myself it was fine at first. But disappointment builds up little by little. Later it turns into resentment.”
I didn’t want to hear Zhou Chaoqing complain to me one day:
“The resources here are too poor. I should have known better than to stay.”
“If it weren’t for you, I could have had a much better future.”
That kind of bitter scene was too ugly. I didn’t want us to ever reach that point.
Zhou Chaoqing stared at me, lost.
The Notebook slipped from his hand and fell to the ground. He didn’t pick it up.
A clear breeze started. The pages fluttered loudly.
I patted his shoulder.
“Stick to your original plan. Go abroad for your PhD. That’s really where you want to be. Don’t force yourself for anyone.”
“Let’s part on good terms and keep the last bit of dignity. It’s better than ending up resenting each other later.”
He opened his mouth, tried to speak, but in the end only nodded. His voice came out hoarse.
“I understand.”