37. This Masquerade
W hile restocking supplies behind the front counter, I spot him through the window. Kevin is standing just outside the store, hands in his pockets, looking nervous, like he’s not sure if he’s here for me or just hoping I’ll see him first.
Instinct pulls me back. My heart tightens—not racing, just bracing for what is about to happen.
Kevin steps inside, letting the door close behind him. It’s a warm morning, but he looks like he’s been holding his breath since yesterday. He looks different—not physically different, just unsure, like someone trying to change the ending without rewriting the beginning.
He must have read it. Or maybe Josh said something. I don’t ask.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey.” I don’t offer more.
He walks up to the counter, avoiding my eyes at first, then meeting them like he realizes he has to.
“I’m sorry I didn’t show up or call. I—I should have.”
A nod. “It doesn’t matter. ”
“No, no. It does matter.” He studies me. “I wanted to. I still do. I miss talking to you.”
It lingers between us. That old magnetic pull. Familiar. Dangerous.
“I’ve been thinking,” Kevin says, his voice lower. “Maybe we could keep hanging out. Meet for swims. Not like—not the way it started. But as friends. Just us. Like before.”
“Before what?” I ask.
He hesitates. “Before it got complicated.”
It’s still complicated, but I don’t say that. I wait.
“Josh doesn’t have to know,” he adds too quickly.
That’s when I know. It hits me—not how much I wanted Kevin, but how long I mistook wanting him for something deeper. I thought he had changed, too.
My stomach knots. Not with desire but with grief. Did Josh give him the letter? Did he read it? I don’t ask. Instead, I take a slow breath and step out from behind the counter.
“Kevin,” I offer gently. “You should go home.”
He blinks. “What?”
“You need to talk to Josh. Not me.”
“But I came to see you.”
“I know. But you’re not here for me. You’re running from something, and I won’t be the place you hide.”
He exhales sharply as if he might argue, but doesn’t.
“What we had that night was real,” I say. “And it mattered, but it’s not who we are anymore. I’m done chasing ghosts. And I won’t let you chase me to avoid your truth. ”
He stands there for a moment. Quiet. Looking down at his shoes, then at me. Kevin turns to go, pausing at the door. The light from outside makes his shoulders look heavier than I remember.
“Daniel?”
“Yeah?”
“I wasn’t lying that night. I was ready. I really was.”
I nod. “But I wasn’t. And now it’s your turn to be honest.”
He opens the door. Sunlight spills in, and then he’s gone.
Back behind the counter, I return to restocking. For the first time in a long while, it feels like I walked away from something I once wanted—and did the right thing.