Chapter 8 #2
“I’m not sure I’m together enough for anyone right now. I’m kind of a walking disaster lately.”
“Honestly, if you want something fun, a little rebound from the other guy, one of those boys may be a good choice.”
I laugh.
“What?”
“How would I even pick!”
She smiles devilishly. “Who says you have to choose just one? It’s a summer fling, girl, no rules. No commitments. Play the field a little bit.”
“I don’t know,” I say. “I’m not sure I’m ready for the rebound yet or anything else.”
“Well, whatever you do, just be honest. They’re big on that.”
“Yeah, of course,” I say, thinking of all the lies and deceit I’ve stirred up in the last six months, which leads me to think of Mason again and the ticket stashed in my camper and suddenly I’m so tired.
Everything I think about leads to the downward spiral of my disastrous decisions.
But then I think of Justin and his eyes the color of the sky. And Whit’s lazy grin and muscular chest. Pete’s sweet smile and Nick’s quiet intensity. Thinking about them makes everything else vanish like a wave rolling across the sand.
Sibley takes a wobbly step away from us and back toward the water.
Anita pretends to growl and chases her across the sand.
Swooping the girl in her arms, she turns back to me and smiles.
“I say go for it, Summer. I have a feeling any of those boys would be happy to share in your little summer adventure. What do you have to lose?”
“Jump!”
I ignore the other catcalls and demands from below.
I’m wearing my new bikini, more revealing than any other I’ve worn.
I can’t help but feel self-conscious of my pale stomach and the way the halter lifts my boobs, making them round and full.
The boy shorts are cute, although they’re not as covering as you’d think.
My cheeks hang out the bottom and I keep tugging them down.
One thing’s for certain, the boys definitely noticed when I took off my sundress. Whit offered to rub sunscreen on my back and I accepted, terrified of boiling like a lobster. His hands were warm and thorough, gently slipping under the tie behind my neck and the strap across my back.
It was intimate but appropriate and I hoped he didn’t notice the heat across my cheeks when I thanked him.
“Jump, Summer!” Anita shouts again. She’s floating in the shade of the boat. Everyone else is either in the water, gliding along with the tide in life jackets, or swimming to the sand bar separating the waterway and the ocean.
“I think I’ll just stay here,” I say, pretending sweat isn’t pouring down my back and that the water doesn’t looking inviting and wonderful. And dangerous. I mean, this is basically the ocean and in the ocean there are sharks and other bite-y, pinch-y, stinging things.
“Lame,” Anita says and rolls her eyes at me before swimming off with Bobby. Her mother has Sibley for the day, the last thing she wants to do is babysit me on the boat.
I drop into a cushioned seat inside the boat and recline.
This is not my world, I think, closing my eyes and blocking out the happy laughter from the water.
Everyone here is great and has accepted me into the group, but times like this prove our differences.
Not just the private school education or lack of a pure southern accent, but this inability to relax and have fun with the rest of them.
I’m wallowing in this difference between us when the boat heaves and I feel water dripping all over my stomach and chest. Shading my eyes, I look up and find Justin standing over me.
“I’d push you away,” I tell him, “but that water feels really nice.”
“Get in,” he says, offering me his hand.
I shake my head. “Not gonna happen.”
“Come on,” he grabs both my hands and pulls me off the seat. “I won’t let anything get you.”
“See,” I frown. “You basically just admitted there are things in the water that can get me.”
“There might be one thing,” he says, lifting an eyebrow while keeping his fingers linked with mine. He’s very close to me, his skin all kinds of muscular and wet. “But I promise to behave. Come in with me, I’ll keep you safe.”
He says it sincerely, in a tone of voice that settles in my chest and establishes trust. I want to trust him. I want to make normal choices. Better ones. Choices that let me have fun with this cute, flirty, half-naked man in front of me.
“It’s the waterway. It’s like swimming in a lake. The tide is there but the water is deep enough you won’t touch the ground or anything until we get to the sandbar.”
After a pause I say, “I’m wearing a life jacket.”
“Good idea.”
“I mean, I can swim, but you know…”
He hands me a purple and red jacket and helps me inside, cinching the strap around my waist and snapping it together. His fingers linger near my stomach and he spends a moment adjusting the collar.
“All secure,” he says, before walking to the edge of the boat and jumping in, causing the boat to bounce around from the waves. I hold on to the railings; it’s a large boat, able to carry twelve of us out here.
“Throw me that jacket,” he says and I toss him a life vest. He struggles for a minute but eventually gets strapped in while the waves bob him up and down.
I shuffle to the edge, unsure if this is what I want to do. I wrinkle my nose and say, “Are you sure there are no sharks in here?”
“Summer,” he says, “the sooner you get in the water, the sooner you get to the sandbar. Come on.”
I realize he didn’t say no, which makes me uncomfortable, but he’s patiently waiting for me in the water, risking his own life via shark attack, so I just jump, crashing feet first and submerging to the top of my head.
“It’s cold!” I shout when I reemerge, pushing the water and hair out of my face.
“You okay?” he asks and I feel his hand graze across my lower back and I fight a shiver not from the temperature.
“Yeah, but let’s get over to the others.” I have no idea why I think there’s safety in numbers with sea creature attacks, but I do. I expect Justin to swim off but he doesn’t, instead he flips to his back and starts talking.
“How’s your mom’s book going?” he asks.
“Okay, I guess.” I swim next to him. “She’s obsessed with finding victims that got away or something, which probably just means we’ll be knocking on every door from here to Myrtle Beach next week.” He laughs and I splash him. He kicks his feet and glides easily out of my way.
“I heard she talked Nick into joining your adventure.”
“She did and he was a trooper.” For the first time, I wonder if Nick told Justin or the other guy about me crying on the pier or the conversation we had on the porch. I search the water for his shaved head and muscular body. He’s lazily swimming toward the others.
I realize Justin is farther away and I swim after him until my foot catches on something and I yelp. “What the—”