Chapter 34
Summer
I don’t know how Justin feels about my new bikini when I arrive at the beach that afternoon, but if Pete is any indication, Jessica chose well.
I’m walking down the boardwalk with my bag and chair when he runs up the steps from the sand. His light brown hair is wind-tousled and his skin isn’t quite tan yet, but his board shorts hang perfectly over his hips and my heart flip-flops.
“Hey, you,” he says, taking both items from my hands and leaning them against the railing. Then he gives me a kiss. “I feel like it’s been forever.”
“You’re too busy. I don’t like it.”
“It’s been a crazy summer so far. I’m still finishing my internship in Myrtle Beach, but it only lasts until the end of May. Once June gets here I’m all local, between working at trailer park and marina.”
“Good. I hate missing you all the time.” Once again, I came home to find flowers on the bed. It’s a nice little reminder. “I feel like we’re ships passing, or whatever that saying is.”
“Well, I’m here now. Want to get wet?”
He grabs my stuff and I follow him down to the beach.
Warmer weather is creeping up on us and the afternoon turned hot, encouraging everyone to get in the water.
Ivy and Maggie are floating in tubes in the deep-set tide pools.
My boys are deeper in the water, sitting on their boards, waiting for the perfect wave.
“Why aren’t you with them?” I ask, pulling my shirt and shorts off.
Pete’s eyes are glued to my body. “And miss you? Not a chance. That bikini is fantastic.”
“It’s new,” I say, fidgeting with the fabric.
“It’s…uh, wow.” He looks like he may drool.
Yeah, Jessica definitely had a gift.
Fingers linked, we walk to the edge of the water, talking about our jobs and the impending tourist season. I tell him how Justin took me to the Camp and how the girls at the shop next door helped me pick out the bathing suit he couldn’t keep his eyes off of.
“Now I know who to thank,” he says, pulling me close as the cold water rolls over our toes.
“They know about me and Justin,” I say, touching his hard sides. His lips meet my forehead. “I mean, they saw me at the Camp with him.”
“Isabel and Jessica are notorious gossips, babe. They’re younger but we all went to school with them. They’ve tried to hang out with our crowd since they were fourteen. They think it’s their job to notice everything.”
“Do you think they’ll notice us? All of us?”
He looks down at me and because of the roar of the ocean, it’s like we’re all alone in that moment. Which is what makes it dangerous. I scan the beach but there’s not many people out. Even so…
I glance around and take small step back. He notices.
“You’re worried they’ll talk about us?”
“It’s a small town, Pete. One girl with four guys…it doesn’t look great.”
“Fuck them,” he replies. “It’s none of their damn business and there’s not a soul in this town that should judge.”
I sigh and look out into the ocean. Both Whit and Nick caught a wave and are riding it toward the shore.
“I’m just not used to the scrutiny.” I brush my hair out of my eyes. “My mom always had the attention on her, you know? I mean, no one even noticed when I was dating my teacher. I’ve always been pretty invisible.”
He shakes his head. “Bullshit. There’s no possible way you were invisible.”
With the way he looks at me, I almost believe it. “Only a boy that spent his life in a group that’s the focus of attention would assume that.”
“You’re beautiful, exciting, and new. You also have a famous mother. So yeah, people are definitely going to notice you, especially here. But we’ve got your back—always—if you want to keep things on the DL or if you want to flaunt it in public. It’s your choice. Always.”
In the distance, Justin catches a wave of his own and it’s hard not to notice how free he seems out there—not a care in the world. He’s learned to let go, just like the others have. I want to learn that, too.
“I’m tired of hiding,” I say, thinking of that year with Mason and even the evasiveness I had at Vanderbilt. “But I’m just not ready for everything to be out there, you know?”
“I know.”
Three boys make their way toward us, coasting on the waves.
I take Pete’s hand and drag him into the water, feeling the dark water cover me like a blanket.
Even though the water scares me, once the waves have swallowed us and I know no one can see, I relax into the fluidity of the ocean, of my boys and what we mean to one another.
The question of freedom and secrecy is still on my mind as I lean against the car in the parking lot behind Books by the Beach the next day. Nick’s weight is against me, his mouth warm and demanding. He’d been waiting by the car when I came out, suddenly overwhelmed by how my body had reacted.
I’d surprised him, I know, when I pulled him close and kissed his neck. My heart hammered not just from his nearness, but from the publicness of it all. I’m participating in PDA—something I never thought I’d do.
“What’s this all about?” he says, his voice deep and husky. “Yesterday, literally yesterday, you said you wanted to keep all this private.”
“I know.” He makes my brain fuzzy. They all do. “Hormones are complicated, ridiculous things.”
“I mean, I’m not going to complain.”
“I just…I think no PDA may be a hard rule. So, I think something in the middle may be better—it’s just a new thing I want to try.” I pull him by the waistband, and when his hips meet mine I feel the hard length between his legs.
“Well, this new thing is killing me.” He grimaces and shifts.
“We could go back to the office?”
The grimace appears again. “We have an appointment, remember? At the frame shop.”
I slouch against the car. “Oh right.”
“I mean, we could reschedule?” His eyes bore into mine, the appointment increasingly becoming less important.
He presses his hips against me with a little more force, letting me know what he’s thinking.
I’m thinking it too, until I hear laugher on the street that cuts off abruptly.
We both glance over and see Isabel and Jessica.
I tense and Nick, knowing how I’m struggling, releases me, but it’s probably too late.
“Hey Summer! Hey Nick!” I hear Jessica shout. We both wave innocently and there’s no mistaking the narrowing of Isabel’s eyes as she takes in our position. They flick lower and I look where she’s looking, and shit.
There’s no mistaking Nick’s tented pants.
They keep walking and when they’re gone, he raises an eyebrow.
“I can’t believe they saw that,” I groan.
“You make me hard, what can I say.”
“Oh my god. I thought you would have some decorum.”
He laughs. “Did you just say decorum? God, you are flustered.”
“I’m not flustered.”
“You’re cute when you’re panicky.”
“I’m not panicky.” I’m totally sweating and more than a little bit aroused. My heart hammers in my chest and it’s lost between the fear of being caught and what I’m starting to recognize as the thrill of getting caught.
Maybe I’m the one with the problem.
Despite my conflict, I make eye contact with Nick and bite my lip.
Without another word I get into the passenger seat of his truck.
It’s an older truck, with a bench seat and wide, circular steering wheel.
When I get in, I slide over and run my hand down his leg, coming back up until I feel the hard, bulge in his pants.
“So, you know the more times you do that, the harder it makes it for me to settle down, right?”
“What if I don’t want you to settle down right now?”
“This is pretty public and we have an appointment.”
I don’t let him sway me and truth be told, there’s not much conviction in his voice. I reach for the zipper on his pants, lowering it slowly. Nick watches me closely, like he’s afraid to move. Slipping my hand into his pants I feel him, warm, solid, hard. He exhales at my touch.
“Summer…”
I look up at him, thumb stroking his length.
“If you think you have to prove something to me or—”
I lean over and kiss him. His fingers thread into my hair.
“This isn’t about proving something to you. It’s about…well, I want to. Okay?”
He nods and I lick my lips, eliciting a rumble from his chest. I bend over and take the first tentative lick, then another more thoroughly. His hand clenches in my hair, but he allows me to set the pace.
“Shit,” he says, as I take him in whole. “Someone’s c-coming.”
That stutter twists my belly into a tight, addictive, knot.
“Well, then you better keep a straight face, because I’m not going to stop.”
And I don’t. I keep pleasuring him and his breathing settles, restrained but fully aroused. His fingers tighten against my head and I hear him clench the steering wheel.
“They’re walking, they’re walking, they’re walking…” he mutters, voice cracking on the final word. “They’re…fuck…ugh…they’re gone.”
I stroke his balls.
After that he doesn’t say much and it’s just the sound of his desperate pants along with my own active noises. “Sum,” he mumbles. “I’m about…”
He’s about to cum, there’s no doubt about that. I graze my nails under his cock and work my tongue, my mouth, my hands, pulling him to the edge of euphoria. It doesn’t take much, and his groan fills the cab of the truck, his cock throbbing with release.
His cheeks are red when I lift my face and he pulls me close, kissing my lips.
It takes him a minute to calm down, for the fog to clear from his eyes, but the smile lingers long after we’re on the road to the frame shop.
With his hand linked with mine, I realize that maybe there’s more than one way about these relationships.
Less tip-toeing around, less hiding and way more fun.
That’s my goal from here on out: a wild summer of fun.