Chapter 3
Allie
The parking lot of The Rusty Nail is damn near full.
Not surprising when it’s the only decent bar in town—well, the only bar.
I park and kill the engine. Am I really going through with this?
Anxiety tightens my belly as I survey the lot.
Maybe he’s not here, and I can save myself the misery.
Fat chance. Then I spot his massive dust-covered Chevy with mud splattered on the fenders, and I know I’m fucking stuck.
Karma is a real bitch. Even if I don’t want to face him, I have to.
At worst, he’ll tell me to fuck off and send me on my way. Not that I would blame him.
I know when I ended things between us a year ago, I hurt him. That doesn’t matter now. What matters is finding Saint.
When I discovered Saint was missing, my first thought was to go to him.
I knew about Saint and Calder’s little truck convo.
Saint didn’t go many places besides the church and its functions.
That meant it had to be someone she knew, someone she met.
Calder was the only one I could think of who might have something to do with her disappearance, and if anyone would know whether Saint was with Calder, it would be Kade.
I curse myself for not going to him sooner. I chose to go to the police first, hoping they would help find her faster since they have more resources. Little good that did me since I’m now sitting outside The Rusty Nail waiting for Kade to show his face anyway.
I don’t like to think about Kade or the time we shared. Sometimes I tell myself it was a fever dream and never happened, but my heart always reminds me it was real. Even if we didn’t label ourselves as anything, what we shared had meaning.
Our families being enemies didn’t concern us.
Neither of us cared for the reasoning behind it.
In fact, that’s what we connected over at the start.
A connection that only grew over time. Being with Kade, even if it was only for six months, was the freest I’d ever been in my life.
He let me be myself. He didn’t care about my last name or family obligations.
We were just two people falling for each other.
That is, until reality crashed into us.
His fingers dig into my shoulders, his jaw set tight. “We don’t have to do this. You’re going to Seattle, not fucking France.”
I try to push him away because when he touches me, my brain short-circuits, and I can’t think straight. He has no idea how much I ache to tell him the truth. That my mother is arranging for me to marry some random asshole.
“We can’t keep doing this, Kade.” The words feel like acid on my tongue. “I mean, we both knew this was coming, right? Our families are enemies. My mother would never allow me to be with you and your father…”
“I don’t give a fuck about what they want or don’t want. You aren’t my enemy, Allie. I’ll fight for us. What we have.” The plea in his voice is unmistakable.
Kade never pleads or begs for anything. That’s not him. Yet he’s begging right now. For me to see how much he loves me, wants me, wants a future, and instead of telling him that I feel the same, that I want him, I’m breaking his heart.
“There’s no point in fighting for us. What we had was great, but it was never going to last. It was temporary. Just two people having some fun.”
Kade flinches, physically flinches as if my words wound him. His hands fall from my shoulders, and I already miss his touch.
Miss the warmth. Miss the branding of his fingers on my skin.
“Two people having some fun? Temporary?” he whispers in bewilderment, anger building in his blue eyes. “You told me you loved me. Said you wanted to be with me. That’s not two people having some fucking fun.”
It’s my turn to flinch, and I do. Suddenly, the cab of his truck feels too small. “I made a mistake. I didn’t mean it. I was caught up in lust.”
Kade shakes his head, and a hollow laugh escapes him. “You made a mistake.” He grits the words through his teeth, and I can see just how close to losing it he is. “It was only lust? You didn’t mean it?”
“I know you’re hurt, and I’m sorry, but we both knew it was never going to be anything more than a fun time. You’re the one who made sure I knew that to begin with, remember?”
“Stop!” he yells, and I feel my heart sink into my stomach. “Stop lying to me. Stop with the bullshit.”
“It’s not bullshit. I just—can’t be with you.”
I shake my head and force the memory of that night away and all the feelings I’ve refused to sort out back into the darkest corner of my brain.
It is not the time to open old wounds. I won’t have the courage to face him if all I can see is the hurt in his eyes from that night.
I look back at the bar and stare up at the flickering neon sign.
Maybe I should go inside.
It would save me waiting out here in the cold for him. No. Bad idea. Going inside means facing public humiliation when he inevitably tells me to fuck off, and unfortunately, I’ve reached my limit on that for the evening.
So I wait. Minutes tick by as I sit in the car and watch men in jeans and work boots stumble in and out of the bar, some of them a little more unbalanced than others. None of them has been Kade Bishop, though.
My anxiety ramps higher the longer I wait, my lungs tightening to the point of pain, acting as if they have no access to oxygen.
Breathe, Allie. Just breathe.
I didn’t think it would be this difficult to talk to him again. I mean, he’s probably moved on, right? Probably forgotten all about me? Maybe he’s not even mad anymore.
I doubt it.
The door to The Rusty Nail slams open again, and when I spot the man exiting, my heart lurches inside my chest.
Kade.
He’s always been beautiful in a rough, dangerous sort of way. The kind of beauty that makes good girls do stupid things.
I give him a once-over, allowing myself to stare.
He’s still beautiful—and huge. Built like a tank, his broad shoulders stretch his jacket, and his hands are capable of holding or breaking you apart, depending on his mood.
Moonlight slides across his face and pulls me under.
His jaw is strong and shadowed, his cheekbones sharp in the muted light.
Dark lashes frame tired blue eyes, and his mouth is set in a firm, unreadable line.
A stray lock of dark brown hair falls across his forehead, and the urge to reach out and fix it leaves me caught. Breathless.
Something inside me snaps when his gaze lands on my car. Shit. His confident stride shortens, and he stops dead in his tracks. Shit, he’s going to bolt. I can’t let that happen.
With a trembling hand, I grab the door and bite back a curse at the nerves and lust swirling in my core. Only Kade has this effect on me.
With an exhale, I launch myself out of the car.
Our gazes collide across the parking lot, and time seems to slow. I feel vulnerable, like a bug beneath a microscope under his gaze. Neither of us says anything. I’m halfway across the lot when he moves toward his truck again. Fucking hell.
“Hey!” I yell, desperation sharpening my tone. “I need to talk to you for a second!”
He stops again, and the dust of the gravel catches the light around his boots.
Why does it feel like I’m walking toward my own funeral?
I know the answer to that question, but I’m not here to unpack it.
Kade and I are nothing more than history.
He turns to face me once I’m a couple of feet away.
I swallow the gasp that rises at getting a look at him up close.
He’s still himself, still rugged and handsome as hell, but he’s also different.
Colder. Meaner.
I guess that’s my doing.
Beneath his hard exterior is sheer exhaustion.
The light dusting of stubble on the planes of his cheeks and jaw is so unlike him.
Kade used to be clean-cut. Guess that guy is gone.
His jacket is wrinkled, his jeans mud-spattered, and there’s a hollowness surrounding him that makes me ache to the core.
Even his hat sits slightly off on his head like he couldn’t gather the energy to put it on correctly.
“What does the Porter Princess want?”
It’s not a hello, but it’s better than fuck off, right?
“I didn’t mean to ambush you. I just don’t know what else to do, and I’m out of options.”
His eyes soften a fraction, then return to their hardened state. “I’d ask what the hell you’re talking about, but I don’t really give a fuck.”
I resist the urge to snap back. “I’m sure you’ve heard Saint is missing.”
He looks at me like I’m stupid. “What’s that got to do with me?”
I grit my teeth, barely restraining myself from chewing him a new asshole. “Nothing really, unless you know where she is?”
His eyes narrow to slits. “Are you accusing me of hurting your friend?”
“No. I’m accusing your brother because I think he knows what happened to Saint. And since no one in the Bishop family can shit without another one of you knowing about it, I assume you know something.”
“Well, your assumption is wrong. I don’t know anything.”
I’m not entirely surprised by his response. Kade is, and always has been, loyal to his family. “See, that’s a problem, though, because I don’t believe you. I mean, maybe you don’t know anything, but I bet Calder does.”
Kade’s nostrils flare, and it reminds me of a bull on the attack. His boots kick up gravel as he stalks closer, closing the remaining three feet of distance between us.
Instinct tells me to stand down, but I’ve never had a reason to fear Kade, so I ignore it and refuse to let him intimidate me with his size.
With a snarl, he leans forward and speaks right into my face.
“What you believe or don’t believe doesn’t matter to me.
I’m telling you none of us know what happened to your little fucking friend. ”