Chapter 16 Caspian
Caspian
Lights flashed behind my eyes, but I was stuck.
Screaming, yelling, bursts of pain as I was dragged away from them through the restaurant.
I couldn’t catch up; everything was mangled and all I knew was pure red rage as my dads pulled and pulled.
My vision tunnelled. One punch to the stomach, another to my fucking face.
My ears rang, arms nearly popped from their sockets as I snarled, but it was no use. My dads wouldn’t stop.
Pulling me as I fought and kicked and called out for my omegas. But they faded away as something slammed against my face, harsh fumes filled my senses, and my eyes rolled as I went slack.
I heard my family’s voices, but it was too fucked up. With Camille, biting Mel, how I watched them grab them, I couldn’t keep my head on straight, and pain tore through my body so intense I thought I’d never move again.
I couldn’t tell where I was. I didn’t know what was happening through the pain suffocating me.
There was just the floor under my ass and the stretch of my arms as they kept pulling.
Until the creak of a door. And a crash. And sudden darkness as I was plunged into freezing cold.
I reached for them. I kept reaching and fucking reaching for my mates through the darkness. But nothing was there. She was gone. They were gone. And there was no reason for me to hold on.
It cracked through me like glass breaking into a million shards, digging deep into my body, ripping through my mind as red pulled me under with a scream, and I sunk into it.
I groaned, arching my neck, shifting my hips, but the weight was different. Even though something was so deeply wrong inside me, I could never gouge it out. I could still feel the impact, not just their fists, but the pure brutal fury of my rogue state as I forced my eyes open.
I gasped as I jolted, meeting a white ceiling, brandy, amaretto, and sweet vanilla flooding my senses. I lifted my head, looking around wildly, instantly recognising Kai’s nest.
It didn’t do shit to stop the pain screaming through every fucking vein in my body, but at least I knew I was safe.
I could tell deep down I had gone rogue, but it had never felt so intense. I couldn’t move, and even if I knew they’d chained me up like a monster again in case I kicked off, it wouldn’t matter because my body was done for.
White noise rang in my ears, and even when I looked down to find my precious omega sleeping on my chest where she belonged, I couldn’t make a fucking sound because my throat was so raw.
I finally found Sin’s piercing gaze again, and I didn’t know it was possible for him to get paler.
It felt like a dream, some kind of haze that omegas got into where Sin held me, I knew Mel was awake; they were crying; they were talking, but I was stuck behind a wall of white noise where I could hear myself ask what happened, but even when they replied, it barely went in.
“Three days,” Sin croaked, and shock pounded me, because we both knew what it meant. He couldn’t say any more, not with Mel crying, but three days was too fucking long to be out after going rogue. Even the first time I lost my shit, I was only down for a day. So what the fuck happened?
I tried to feel inside myself, like my body might have the answer, and all I could find was a deep, crowing sadness. There was more to release, more to let rip. Whether I fought against the restraints or I held onto my mates, I needed to get it the fuck out of me, or I wouldn’t be able to breathe.
The screams were still there, ringing in my ears.
Mel, Kai, my dads, and one more voice. One scream that was more desperate and panicked than the others.
Anguish poured through me, and I couldn’t fucking stop it, especially when Mel sat curled in Sin’s arms, stroking me, trying to soothe me with her aura that didn’t stand a chance against mine.
“Sin, Mel. Just tell me what the fuck happened.” It hurt so much to speak, but I needed that more than anything. I reached for Kai, but, like Sin said, there was nothing there. It was like he had cleaved, or died, and I had to trust that they would tell me if he was really gone.
Mel let out another sob, her grief flowing into me and blending with mine, but it still didn’t answer my fucking question.
“Caspian, your mum… Zania is…” But another sob wracked from deep in her chest as she bent over. Sin hugged her tighter, holding her hands, making sure she was wrapped in his aura as he met me with a hard gaze.
And I knew.
He didn’t have to say a word. No matter what happened, Sin would only make a face so fucking serious if it was that.
“I’m so sorry, Caspian,” he said.
“You’re still not fucking saying anything,” I growled, testing the cuffs against Kai’s bedframe. My arms were numb, but no wonder if they had me tied up there for three days.
He kept his mouth clamped like a pussy as Mel talked through her tears.
She tried to tell me honestly, but so much fear twisted inside her that infected everything she said.
There was no way I could get the full story out of her.
For once, Sin being an emotionless bastard actually came in handy, because he finally took over when Mel reached the point in her story where they left the main restaurant to follow me, and she broke down in more sobs.
And when he described how he found me, the screams came back. Like an undercurrent to Sin’s empty voice, a distant moment I was never supposed to remember.
Every time I tried to interrupt him and ask questions, he shushed me, and, by the time he got to the end, I understood why.
“Sin, you have to be fucking with me right now,” I wheezed as I stared at him. I couldn’t drag my eyes away; I needed to see every single inch of his face to know that he was telling the truth.
But his gloves stretched as he buried his nose in Mel’s neck, and avoided me.
“Would I lie to you about this?” he murmured.
I wanted to be angry. I wanted to be hurt and messed up as gnarled grief rocked me, but none of it was there.
My mum’s death was just a numb gap between the chaos of Camille and the pain of going rogue.
“Your dads…” Mel gasped. “Sin, you have to tell him—” He nuzzled her, relaxing her instantly, and I sent a bolt of pissed-off energy at him. Even though I was in shock, I still had time to be annoyed with Sin for stealing her attention when she was the one who bit me, not him.
“Kai took care of your fathers while you were otherwise occupied.”
“You mean when I was going fucking rogue?”
“If you want to phrase it like that, then yes. But they were persistent, and it was the only way to keep Melanie safe.”
Shock hit me again as Brandy’s bloodshot eyes met mine.
“Are you alright? Did they make you do anything?” I snarled instantly. “If you had to hurt anyone…” I never wanted her to get her hands bloody, not anymore. Kai would be fucking furious if I treated him like that.
She quickly shook her head, her hair tumbling around her. “They didn’t make me do anything,” she whispered. “I had to protect myself.”
A snarl ripped from me, and she flinched, but I sent her as much love as my broken heart could find to show her it wasn’t her.
It was us. It was our fault for dragging her into our world and never loving her the way we should have from the start.
If we had bitten her sooner, if we had given in to our need and formed a pack, maybe we could have kept her safe from all of it.
And that other spark inside me, it was fucking pride that my omega went that far. That she had sheer balls to take on someone else. I didn’t need the story now, not when she looked more shattered than me. But one day I needed the story of how she went after one of my dads, and won.
I should have felt some kind of emotion, something to say that I cared that they were gone. They were my family, but I had more response to learning that Kai killed my dads than hearing that I was the one who strangled my mum.
“I know you’re in shock,” Sin said softly, reaching out.
I didn’t even realise my fist was clenched until he gently held it.
Pain stabbed every inch of my body, my chest was tight, while my blood boiled over, so why the hell didn’t I feel anything?
Why didn’t it feel real? Like the world was just going to continue on the same because the three of them were all I needed?
“I’m so fucked up,” I groaned, but there were just the pair of them watching me like they were waiting for some kind of reaction instead of a numb alpha lying chained up in bed.
The quiet was eating into me. Whenever Sin started making people awkward with his silent stares, he would say that he was just giving the other person space. It was one of his mind games to get them to start worrying and overthinking so they would make mistakes. But I was too used to that bullshit.
Everything was too intense between us, and I didn’t want to hurt her again. I focused on Sin’s vanilla and Mel’s presence inside me, and tried not to wind myself up. Kai wasn’t here. I needed him just as much as the other two, and it was no wonder he was furious if I put Mel’s life at risk.
I needed the fucking cuffs off, but as soon as I struggled, Sin’s gaze narrowed. He was right. If he freed me now, I’d fuck her rather than comfort her. But I want to hold my omega so badly that it burns more fiercely than the pain that screams through my body.
“You both need to hear Kai’s side of the story as well,” Sin says, his voice grating on me. I didn’t know how to deal with Sin when he got emotional. I was pretty out of it when he was crying, but his eyes were still red-rimmed, and his hands hadn’t stopped shaking since I woke up.
“Please don’t take what I’ve said as the ultimate truth. I don’t want Kai to think I’ve twisted your view by telling you my side first.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I ask.
“There are discrepancies when it comes to our stories, and differing opinions on the choices we could have made.” Sin suddenly switched to his diplomatic voice, where he paced his words because he was trying to be careful not to offend anyone.
Though he mostly used that voice around Kai when he was in a rage.
“Stop talking like that and be straight with me. Just talk like a normal person for once in your fucking life.” I loved him, and it opened something in us for him to cry like that, but I wasn’t in the mood to fuck around.
“It’s okay,” she said, pushing the words through gasping breaths. “We can ask Kai when we see him, okay?”
I nodded, because that was what she wanted. But there was no way we were having any more big talks when she was already drifting off. Mel was trying to force herself to stay awake, but crying had taken it out of her.
We probably should have waited until we were actually stable before talking about the fact we murdered my family.
But before we met Mel, I would have never considered sitting down as a pack and actually talking about our feelings.
My heart was breaking with a mix of losing Camille, my parents, and watching Mel keep trying to pull herself together while she supported me.
I couldn’t push her away when we needed to keep the bond open, and I didn’t want Kai to miss this.
She was his mate before me. Not that there was an order, but we already knew how much our omegas loved each other.
If we were going to talk anymore, we had to bring Kai back.
But Sin had other ideas.
“I think it’s time to rest now, Melanie,” he said softly. She turned to blink up at him, but he’d already been working her since she nestled between his legs. His glove was off, and he cupped the back of her head, massaging her gently.
“Don’t fucking do it like that. Let her go naturally!
” I growl, even though it hurt like a bitch.
But his aura got into her fucking skull, and my vision blurred as he forced her to go to sleep.
It was one of the shitty little tricks he used, and now I wondered if it was something he used on Camille because of what happened.
Sin was so careful as he laid her down next to me, making sure that her head rested back on my chest. I’m sure it was a ploy, so I didn’t struggle because my anger was rising again, and I wanted to direct it all at him.
“I hate it when you do that,” I growled.
“She was too distressed. It was easier to put her to sleep and let her heal rather than force her to keep facing her memories.”
“It won’t be any different when she wakes up,” I said.
“Possibly. But this gives both you and Kai the chance to express yourselves without damaging her in any way.”
I rolled my eyes because he was such an asshole. He thought he knew better than everyone else.
Once my omega was laid out next to me, I could properly sense how empty it was without Kai. My arms shook, my wheezing as the screams echoed inside my head again.
“Did I really kill her?” I asked roughly.
“We felt it, yes.”
“Mel, too?”
“Especially Melanie. You already know how deeply the pair of you were connected when you snapped. There was no way to prevent you from reaching her.”
“I guess I’ve fucked us up permanently then?”
“I wouldn’t say you’re entirely responsible. Both myself and Kai shot you in one day, alongside mating with Melanie, and going rogue. You could say it was eventful for all of us.”
A growl rumbled from me, but the corner of his lips hitched in his version of a smile.
My rogue state was already buffeting against me. I wouldn’t go over, not with Mel right here. But my arms flexed, my jaw clenching as the pain grew more intense.
“Sin,” I growled. Because he was already scrunching his brow and reaching out for me. “Don’t you fucking dare.”
I pulled my head away, the bed rattling as I shook it. “Fuck off, I swear to God.” But he just stared at me as he reached out.
No matter how much I snarled and fought, his palm landed on top of my head, and his aura shuddered through my brain.
“You…fucking…”
“Just sleep,” Sin said softly, with a brush of his lips on mine. “We’ll talk more when your bond has settled.” Even the fact that he was bringing up having a talk was a miracle.
I was already slipping away. Mel’s gentle sleep and Sin’s stable aura enveloped me like bubble wrap that popped every time I moved, plunging me further into sleep.
There was a sudden bang from the loft door, but my eyes were already closed.
Kai suddenly burst to life through the bond, finally dropping the wall between us, but it was too late.
“What did you do?” he yelled as Sin released me.
“Kai, just wait,” Sin said in his ‘calm the hell down’ voice.
“What did you fucking do!?” he screeched, but my alpha’s aura had already got me, and I drifted off to the sound of Kai’s shrill voice.