18. First and Goal
18
Riggs
Shit. Why did I say that? I meant every word of it, but that doesn’t mean I should’ve said the words out loud. To Tessa. She obviously wasn’t ready to hear them.
But when she said she was ending the prank war, I panicked. I couldn’t take it if she decided to ignore my existence. To pretend we have no history and that I’m just another person in her neighborhood. I’d rather wake up to obscene scenes decorating my yard every day for the rest of my life than suffer through that.
My heart leaps into my throat as the sound of my doorbell bounces off the walls around me. I leap up from the couch, unable to squash the hope that it’s Tessa even though the rational side of my brain knows it’s not. That it’s someone selling solar panels or pest control services.
Striding toward the door, I pull it open and freeze. It is Tessa. She looks beautiful and nervous as she shifts her weight from foot to foot before me.
“Hey. Can I come in and talk for a minute?”
Her words snap me out of the trance I’d fallen into, and I immediately step to the side and wave her inside. She steps over the threshold, her gaze bouncing around the room, landing everywhere but on me.
“The place looks nice,” she says, her voice vibrating with nervous tension.
“Thanks,” I say, closing the door and stepping closer to her. “Can I get you something to drink?”
She shakes her head rapidly, then takes a deep breath. “I’m not selling the tickets.”
“Okay,” I say, cocking my head. “Is that what you came over here to tell me?”
“Yes. No. Shit,” she mumbles quickly, then takes another deep breath. “I forgive you for trying to sleep with me to win a bet.”
“Thank you,” I say, feeling my body heat as my blood races through my veins. This is it. She’s finally going to hear the truth. I breathe deeply then spew out the words on the exhale. “But I never did that.”
Her head jerks back like I’ve slapped her, and her mouth drops into a deep frown. “Yes, you did.”
“No, Tessa. I didn’t.”
“Stop lying,” she says, anger slipping back into her voice. “I overheard your teammates talking. They were laughing about how you’d never win because…because I was too frigid to spread my legs.”
She looks ready to bolt, and I know I can’t let her leave. This may be my only chance to set the record straight. So, I leap forward and wrap my hands around her upper arms, holding her in place. She doesn’t struggle. She just looks up at me with pain in those beautiful blue eyes.
The same pain they held that night.
“I’m not lying, Tessa. I promise. Please, just hear me out.”
She stares at me for a moment, then gives me a shaky nod. Breathing a sigh of relief, I slide my hands down her arms until my fingers close around her hands. Walking backward toward the couch, I pull her with me. As soon as she sits, she yanks her hands from my grip.
“You’re right. Initially, I made the bet, but not for the reason you think. That asshole Grady Hollis was bragging about taking some girl’s virginity and dropping her. Apparently, that was his new hobby,” I say, my expression filling with disgust, “and I overheard him say he had his eye on you, next. I panicked when I heard your name. I’d always liked you, and even though we didn’t know each other all that well, I felt a need to protect you from him. I tried to warn him off, and that’s when he came up with the idea for the bet. It made me sick to agree to it, but he said if I won, he’d never touch another virgin.”
I pause for a moment, giving her time to absorb all that information. When she doesn’t respond, I forge ahead, spilling the rest.
“I never planned to sleep with you. Not like that. Not with that bet hanging over my head. So, I went to Hollis and called the whole thing off. I told him you were my girlfriend, and if he even so much as looked in your direction, I’d beat him to a pulp. I also told him if he tried to fuck with any other innocent girls, I’d go straight to coach and get him kicked off the team. It’s what I should’ve done from the beginning, but like I said, I panicked.”
“When?”
“When, what?”
“When did you call off the bet?” she clarifies, her voice weak and shaky.
“The day before you put that note in my locker,” I say quietly. “They knew you were there, Tessa. Hollis admitted it to me. He saw you, and he staged the whole thing to get back at me for ending the bet and his quest to fuck every virgin at our high school.”
Her face pales, and she looks like she might puke. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“I tried,” I say, my voice filled with sadness. “You refused to listen to me, remember? I tried to text and call, but you blocked my number. I left a letter in your locker, but I can only assume you didn’t read it.”
“I ripped it up,” she says hollowly. “I didn’t want to hear your excuses.”
I can tell she’s lost in her thoughts, processing everything I’ve told her, so I don’t respond. I want to tell her I’m sorry I didn’t fight harder back then. That I should’ve found a way to get through to her, to make her listen. God knows, I wanted to. But I let guilt consume me, and I convinced myself she was better off without me.
Besides, if getting closer to her proved one thing to me, it was that she was too smart to let Grady Hollis get anywhere near her. She didn’t need me to be her knight in shining armor. She would’ve fended off his lame attempts to get into her pants all on her own.
She blinks a few times, then lifts her chin to meet my gaze.
“So that night, when we were going to…”
“It was real for me, Tessa. I wanted you. I had fallen for you, and it had nothing to do with a fucking bet.”
“You wanted me,” she says, the words slow and even like she’s trying to work out their meaning.
“I still do,” I admit quietly, flinching at her shocked gasp. “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that.”
“How can you?” she asks, her eyes wide with disbelief. “I’ve been so awful to you.”
“It’s nothing I didn’t deserve,” I say with a small shake of my head. “In your mind, I was the villain. Besides, I was being honest before. This has been the most fun I’ve had in years. Twelve years, to be exact.”
I can see an internal struggle reflected in those blue eyes, and I brace myself for what comes next. She’ll either run out of here and try to ignore me for the rest of my life, or she’ll forgive me and tell me she wants to be friends. I honestly can’t decide which is worse. Because as much as I want her forgiveness, I don’t know if I can handle being relegated to the friend zone.
Even now, my hands itch to touch her. I want to pull her into my chest and see if she feels as soft and comfortable as she did back in high school. To taste her lips to see if they’re just as sweet. To do all the things I planned on doing that night everything blew up between us.
As her silence drags on, I start to get twitchy. I want to give her the time she needs, but I’m dying to know what she’s thinking. What, if any, future she sees for us.
“Say something,” I whisper, and her body locks up with tension.
Reaching out slowly, I take her hand. She doesn’t resist as I pull it up to my face, and her eyes stay locked on mine as I press a light kiss to the inside of her wrist. Her eyes fall closed then, and I watch her take a few deep breaths before they snap back open.
And, fuck me, they’re filled with the kind of longing I remember from so long ago.
Without warning, she leaps forward, her body slamming into mine so hard, I fall back against the armrest of the couch. I quickly curve my free arm around her back to hold her against me. She yanks her wrist out of my grip and drives both hands into my hair, jerking my face up to hers.
The second her lips touch mine, every ounce of my self-control flies right out the window. I tighten my arm around her, and my free hand tangles in her long brown locks, tugging to angle her head so I can deepen the kiss.
She tastes just like I remember. She feels just as good in my arms. Maybe even better.
I can’t believe this is happening, but I refuse to slow down or question it. I’ve wanted this for so long, and it’s just as amazing as I’d imagined.
Her tongue touches mine, and I groan into her mouth as need spirals through me. I’m in heaven right now, and if I’m dreaming nobody better fucking wake me up.
I feel like I just won the lottery. Or even better, a trip to the national championship game. It’s first and goal, the roar of the crowd throbs in my ears, and all I have to do is complete one last play to bring home the trophy.
I break off the kiss and pull back an inch so I can look into her eyes. “I want you, Tessa. Tell me you want me, too.”