Chapter 10 #2
"I was fifteen when I started my periods.
Mama wasn't the most maternal of women and she never explained anything to me where that's concerned.
I learned about it in physical education, where they taught about body parts and all that.
" She sipped water again, her mind turning inwards as memories assailed her.
"I thought I was abnormal. My friends were getting their periods and being proud of themselves because they were now on their way to being women. When it finally came, I was so happy I ran to tell Mama the good news." She lowered her head to her glass, her expression pensive.
He sat there waiting for her to continue, aware that the topic was painful for her. But he wanted to know everything about her.
"She told me to accompany her into the bathroom and handed me a box of sanitary napkins and some painkillers.
She told me I would have bad cramps because she suffered from them herself.
That was an understatement. The first day was not bad; the cramps were bearable, and after I took the pills I was able to get through the day.
The next day, it woke me up and I thought I was dying.
I screamed..." She shook her head as she recalled how her daddy had come rushing into the room.
"Daddy got a warm washcloth and put it over my tummy. Mama only showed up once to bring me a cup of tea and told me to chin up." Her smile wavered.
"I'll never forget those words. 'Chin up, girl.
It's part of life, part of becoming a woman, so there's no need to blow it out of proportion.
' She told me that and I could not believe it.
Anyway, Dad was the one who helped me through it.
Fortunately for me, it was during the summer.
When months passed and I never had another flow, I was worried.
Dad took me to the doctor and that was when I discovered that I had some sort of hormonal imbalance. "
Putting his glass down, he took her hand and drew her closer to him.
Without a word, he wrapped his arms around her and did not comment, not for several minutes.
Comforted, Indigo snuggled against him and watched the snowflakes hit the glass.
Outside it was cold and wet with snow clinging to the leafy green oak and pine trees.
Inside she was lazily contented, with his arms wrapped securely around her and a fire burning in the hearth.
Her pain was gone and her tummy was full.
She couldn't have asked for anything more, except the feel of his body on top of hers.
"You weren't close to your mother."
She had thought he wasn't going to comment on the story she had told him and was startled out of her hazy comfort by the quiet sympathy in his deep voice.
Placing her hand on his chest and marveling that she now had the freedom to touch him at will, she took her time in responding.
"She tried. She lost her own mother when she was just two years old, and her dad was not much into bringing up a child, much less a daughter.
She doted on Caleb, my brother, and he adored her.
My dad confided in me that she never wanted another child, surely not a daughter. "
His jaw tightened at the solemn note in her voice, and he could just imagine what that had done to her.
He wondered at the stupidity of a man who would reveal such a thing to his own child.
Those words should never have been uttered, but then again, her dad was trying to explain why the mother was so distant towards her own daughter.
His hand roamed up and down her back as if trying to take the memories of her painful childhood away. "You loved him, your father."
She lifted her head to stare at him, sensing the wonder in his voice. His eyes met hers frankly, one brow raised.
"What is it?"
"You know about his reputation and are right now wondering why I could still love a man like that."
"He was your father and the first man a girl or rather a daughter ever falls for. We sometimes forget that parents are human beings too and prone to make mistakes."
"He made many," she muttered, sitting up and reaching for her glass of water. "Too many to count."
"But you still love him. If he was alive right now, what would you say to him?"
She gave him a surprised glance. "I wanted to ask him how he could be so careless with our lives." Moving away, she folded her legs under her, her expression pensive.
"He claimed to love us, and as the man in the family, he was supposed to take care of us. He did no such thing." She shrugged. "For a long time, I thought he could do no wrong."
"And then he disappointed you." Lifting a hand, he trailed a finger over one flawless cheek, marveling at the smooth skin.
"He disappointed all of us. Mama loved him in her own way, but she was distant with him as well." She shook her head.
"That's enough of a walk down memory lane. I think I'd better clear these things away. Thanks for supper." She was about to rise when he clamped a hand on her arm.
"Leave them."
"We can't just... Mrs. Holt will be here first thing in the morning."
"I'm aware." He tugged her back down. "I want you to sit with me and enjoy watching the snow coming down. Can you do that?"
"Yes." She went into his arms and sighed softly when they wrapped around her, bringing her into closer contact with his body. He felt so solid and warm that she could stay this way forever. Today, she was going to enjoy their time together. Soon enough they would be catapulted back to reality.
*****
Juliet stared at her in shock. "Come again?"
Indigo grinned at her and continued to sip her wine. She had assured Brant that she was feeling a lot better, and it was time for both of them to attend to their businesses. She had been away from the store for two days and needed to get back.
"He wants a real marriage."
"Honey!" Juliet almost leaped from behind the counter. "Grab your wine and let's go back to my office. I want to hear everything, and you're not allowed to leave anything out. Hank!" she shouted. "Man the station and get rid of that chewing gum you're popping. You're not a twelve-year-old girl."
Tucking her hand through Indigo's arm, she practically dragged her friend to the small office at the back. "I think this calls for champagne and I have a bottle here somewhere. Ah!" She found a dusty bottle after digging around in a box behind the file cabinets.
"I've been keeping this for a special occasion, and this is a prime example.
" She expertly popped the cork and had froth overflowing the cork.
"Bitch, I had to hear from that simpering idiot Willow that you were ill.
Why didn't you call me?" Taking the glass from Indigo, she dumped the wine into a flower pot and poured champagne.
"That's an orchid," Indigo pointed out when her friend brought the drink over.
"That's on its way to the grave." She perched on the edge of the desk and crossed her long legs.
"Now, start from the beginning," Juliet demanded.
She started from the time she opened her eyes while she was in tremendous pain and saw him standing in the middle of the room looking at her.
Several times during the story, her friend interrupted with various expressions of horror and sighs of wonder at how he had taken over and taken care of her.
"Are you still..." She gestured with the plastic cup to Indigo's lap. "Still indisposed?"
Indigo grinned at the quaint term.
"As of this morning, no. All clear."
"Wonderful!" Juliet lifted her glass in a toast. "Now, I know you said the mother bought you a ton load of things. Does that include sexy lingerie?"
"It does. Some of them too scandalous to even discuss."
"Excellent. You should leave the store early and go home to prep."
"For what?"
"If I have to spell it out, then you're in serious trouble."
Indigo shifted in the chair to get more comfortable. "I'm not certain we should. We have to go and see the doctor tomorrow first thing. Honey, he's going to be doing a thorough examination of all my body parts."
"So?"
"So, I'm worried that he's going to find something seriously wrong with me.
" She blew out a breath. "A lot of bad things happened in my life, so much that I'm not sure I should trust that this is real.
Brant said not to worry about children right now, but I cannot help myself.
I'm certainly not the obvious choice for a man like him, and if I cannot conceive, then that's going to make it worse.
" She put the glass down on the small table in front of her.
"I want children, Jules..." She stared at her friend, her expression eloquent.
"You know how much I want to be a mother.
I don't know if it's to prove that I will do a better job than my mother did with me, or it's just the fact that I want to feel a baby moving inside me.
I want to know what it's like to be a mother.
Oh, honey! I'm sorry." Belatedly remembering that her friend was hoping the same, she stopped talking.
"I'm fine." She shook her head at the other girl's skeptical expression. "Really, I am. The way things are between that husband of mine and myself, it's a good thing a child is not involved. You're different. You're in love, and honestly, honey, I'm so rooting for you."