42. Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Two
Tatiana Andreeva
I groaned, my head pounding like a jackhammer in my ears.
Where the fuck am I? What is going on?
My mouth felt dry, a heavy grogginess working its way through every single one of my limbs, making it almost impossible for me to move.
The last thing I remembered was fighting in the Arena.
The flash of a gun. The pain of getting struck in the chest. Falling.
A complete wave of disorientation. Nikolai.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and struggled to push past the haze that controlled my mind. There was some sort of repetitive beeping noise swimming around in my head. It reminded me of what you’d hear in a hospital, like a heart monitor. Was that where I was?
It made sense, given the last few bits of fragmented memories I could make out.
The heaviness over my eyes slowly started to fade, and I used all of my strength to open them.
I was right. I was in a hospital. The room brought back painful memories of the last time I’d been in a room like that, but I shut them out. I locked them back away in that little corner of my mind where I refused to go.
Nikolai was slumped forward at my side, his head resting on his forearm, hand clasped over mine.
He was sleeping. Lines of exhaustion marred his face.
His hair was a dishevelled mess, his clothes all rumpled and dirty.
They looked like the same ones he’d been wearing in the Arena.
Had he not rested the entire time I’d been out?
Bloody hell, probably not. This man, I swear.
I licked my dry lips, shifting my body slightly. I didn’t want to wake him, especially considering how tired he looked. My whole body ached. Pain throbbed from everywhere. My chest. My legs. Even my goddamn toes. Everything hurt .
Now that adrenaline wasn’t flooding through my veins, masking the pain, I could feel everything. And it fucking sucked.
I was covered in wires. Some of them stuck to my chest, some of them to my forehead. They ran from me to the monitors surrounding the bed, keeping track of my vitals.
The floor-to-ceiling glass door in front of me slid open, a short, plump woman in a nurses outfit stepping into the room. She gave me a warm smile.
“Oh, you’re finally awake—”
“Shhh,” I whispered, placing a finger to my lips. Her eyes flicked to Nikolai sleeping beside me and she raised the clipboard in her hands to cover her mouth.
“ Sorry ,” she mouthed when she took it away. She stepped further into the room, coming to stand next to me by the bed. “I was beginning to wonder if he ever slept. He’s been awake since the moment he brought you in,” she whispered softly.
“Just out of curiosity, when was that?” My voice was hoarse, my throat all scratchy. It made me cough.
She handed me a small styrofoam cup filled with water. The name on her badge read “Marie”. I thanked her and drained the whole cup in one gulp. The refreshing liquid slithered down my throat and I moaned.
“You’ve been here just over a day.” Marie checked the monitor, writing down a few readings onto her clipboard. “How are you feeling?”
“Like shit,” I answered honestly.
“I don’t blame you, given the condition you came in. Severe concussion, cracked rib, a few cuts, intensive bruising, multiple finger sprains. The list goes on and on. That must have been one hell of a car accident your boyfriend here pulled you out of.”
“It was,” I agreed, lying easily. I wasn’t surprised to hear that he’d come up with some sort of cover to explain my injuries.
It’s not like he could have walked into the emergency room and said “Oh, she was hurt trying to rescue me from a gladiator-style, fight to the death tournament. You know, same old, same old.”
“Was anyone else brought in with me?” I asked, removing the tubes from my nose. I was dying to know how the others were. If anyone else had been hurt. What happened after I passed out.
“Just you. You’ve been in and out of consciousness for the last twenty-four hours.
We’ll keep you here for another day or so, just to monitor your concussion, and then you’ll be free to go.
Don’t worry, we’ve noted your pre-existing condition in your file, so if you need to come back for any reason, the proper precautions can be taken. ”
“Pre-existing condition?” I groaned, trying to sit up without jostling Nikolai.
“The pregnancy,” she smiled.
My brows snapped into a frown. “I think you’ve got the wrong file there. I’m not pregnant.”
Her frown matched mine. “Uhh.” She flipped through her clipboard, riffling through the papers. “This is awkward.”
“What is?”
“You were in quite a bit of pain when you arrived. We always run a blood test before administering morphine, and the results revealed you most certainly are pregnant. Very early stages, only about two weeks or so. But definitely pregnant.”
I stared at her, her words taking a little longer to process than they usually would.
Pregnant…pregnant…pregnant.
My mind just kept repeating the word over and over again, like it was waiting for me to catch on and understand the significance of what she’d just said.
Oh, god…what? How? Nikolai and I used protection every time we had sex. How strong were his goddamn swimmers?
“I’m sorry if this isn’t good news,” she said softly, offering me a sympathetic pat on the hand.
“It’s not that. It’s…well…” It wasn’t not good news, right?
Of course I always wanted to try and have another child. But that was years from then, when I’d had the chance to properly heal from the trauma of Nikolas’ death.
It was too soon. I couldn’t go through what I went through last time. There’s no way I’d survive losing another child.
My eyes flicked down to Nikolai, still fast asleep. “Does he know?”
“The boyfriend? No.” she shook her head. “Doctor/patient confidentiality.”
I nodded, slightly relieved. I needed time to process that information before even trying to tell Nikolai.
“Tatiana, please let me take the blindfold off. You’re making me nervous.”
I glanced over at Nikolai in the passenger seat of the car, a flicker of amusement running through me at the sudden paleness of his complexion.
A week had passed since the hospital. Since I found out I was pregnant. And I still don’t think I’ve come to terms with it. Not really.
On one hand, I was excited. Happy. Elated. The idea of a little baby, the chance to do it all over again—the right way, with the right outcome—was an opportunity I didn’t think I’d get for a very long time…if ever.
On the other hand, I was absolutely stone-cold terrified. Terrified that what happened last time would happen again. It was a crippling kind of fear. The kind that literally took my breath away. I think I had at least ten panic attacks in the last seventy-two hours alone.
And poor Nikolai. He had no idea what was going on. Why, all of a sudden, I was gasping for air. Shaking. Feeling like I was going to pass out. But he would soon.
It was the day I was going to tell him. There was just something I had to do first.
“What’s the matter, Nicky? Don’t you trust me?” My hands glided across the steering wheel as I took a turn, a chuckle bubbling up in my throat when Nikolai released a high-pitched sound that I could have sworn was a squeal of fear.
“Behind the wheel while I’m blindfolded and can’t see what’s going on? No. No, I don’t.”
I rolled my eyes. “Relax. I’m not going to kill us.”
“Tell that to the cyclist you hit.”
“He was fine! He got right back up. I’m an excellent driver.”
“I’d believe that if you weren’t—” his words cut off as I swerved abruptly to avoid a car on the road, and he grunted when his head thumped against the window, “—driving like a goddamn manic,” he hissed. “That’s it. I’m taking this off—”
“No, don’t!” I slapped a hand over his eyes to keep him from removing the blindfold.
“Two hands on the wheel, Tati!” he screamed in distress.
“Alright, alright. Just don’t take it off.”
“I won’t, just tell me you have two hands on the wheel. Please.”
“I do. Jeez, you really don’t like it when I drive, do you?”
He chose not to answer. “This is ridiculous,” he breathed out, but he didn’t try to take off the blindfold again. “Why do I need to wear this?”
Because I knew once he saw where I was taking him, he’d want to turn right back around.
“Because I don’t want you to recognise where we’re going and ruin the surprise. Just sit back and relax. We’re almost there.”
“That’s impossible with you driving,” he mumbled. “By the time we get there, I’ll have aged thirty fucking years.”
“Oooo, silver fox Nikolai? That’s a version of you I can definitely get behind.”
He chuckled that deep, bassy laugh that always sent goosebumps crawling over my skin.
Sweat slicked my palms, nervousness flooding my veins.
While I was confident Nikolai wouldn’t abandon me again, I couldn’t say for sure how he was going to react to the news when I told him.
The first time he’d found out I was pregnant, he’d been ecstatic.
But like for me, this news came with scars.
Would he truly be happy about it?
I honestly wasn’t sure.
We made small talk as I continued driving, being mindful not to do anything crazy or erratic that might send him into cardiac arrest.
Things had been hectic for the Bratva since the whole Til Death Games fiasco.
Although all of the Volkovs had come out relatively unscathed, there was still a lot of unfinished business.
Talon had made a run for it the moment we’d infiltrated the Arena.
He was still in the wind. Dimitri was hell-bent on finding him though, devoting all of his time and resources to trying to locate him.