18. KATIE
Chapter eighteen
KATIE
“ W elcome home, Katherine,” Loren says. I feel his excitement–and his hesitancy. I instinctively want to smooth out the worry, to touch him and, fuck, I want to sniff him and inhale his Alpha scent. But I resist.
Apparently these Omega urges are going to be fucking inconvenient. I’m not a cuddly type of girl. But something in my chest wants me to touch them, to be close to them. To envelop myself in their mingling scents.
Fuck. I want to rub myself all over them.
Loren smells of clean fresh laundry and old well-worn books. Familiar and soothing. But Max is different, spicy like whiskey and musky like oiled leather.
I don’t really care about perfume or essential oils, not the way Layla does. But ever since arriving here, smells have been more intense. Particularly men’s smells. Alpha smells.
“I can get us something to drink, or we can show you to your room.” Loren smiles again, a boyish shyness playing at his features. He’s in his late thirties, that much I got from the paperwork, and he’s a professor at the University. But he did something before that, something that was redacted out of the file I had been given during the flurry of packing this afternoon.
Which, of course, put me on high alert. He must’ve been in some kind of highly classified Intelligence unit for even mating paperwork to have redacted sections. If he’s Intelligence, it means he knows how to read people and keep people from reading him. So the question is: how much of this is a performance for my benefit and how much of it is real? And when he told me that none of the Travelers ever go home –how much of that was truth, and how much a lie?
Max drops my rucksack next to one of the couches. “Well, after that ride I could use a drink too.”
He opens one of the paneled cabinets beside the bookshelf and pulls out a decanter of what smells like liquor and a simple glass tumbler. He pours a finger and then holds it out to me.
“Here, this is my favorite sipping brandy. It will help take the edge off.”
I cross my arms. “I don’t have an edge.”
Lie .
Max barks a laugh and Loren smiles openly.
“Of course not, Tough Girl. You’re the picture of sweetness.” Max winks.
Of course I have an edge; everything about me is all sharp edges and angles right now. I’ve been thrown between worlds, forced to leave my sisters, attacked for no reason in a car, and now I have to live with three strangers. I sigh.
I’m going be living with these men for at least a few weeks while I figure out what to do to help my sisters. I am going to have to at least pretend to be relaxed with them while I gather information and form a plan.
Maybe they can be my allies.
It’s better to have allies than enemies, especially when living in such close quarters. They could fill me in on essential knowledge about the society and culture; all I seem to have are gaps.
I roll my shoulders, trying to ease the tension coiled in my muscles. I don’t want to be here. I don't want to be some sex doll for three horny men. But I don’t want to be back at the Conservatory either, with all the hovering eyes, and protective guards. Three Alphas must be better odds than several dozen Betas, right?
Maybe . I just don’t know this society well enough yet to guess.
I force myself to relax my shoulders down from my ears. “Thank you. A drink would be nice.” I take the glass from Max and his fingers brush against mine. They are rough, working hands. Tingles shoot up my forearm to my elbow. Another throb answers in my deepest parts.
It might be harder for me to manage my new Omega nature than I thought. She’s needy and emotional –things that I never am.
At least Inspector Murphy isn’t here.
I take a swallow of the brandy; it’s smooth going down. It kindles a fire in my belly, allowing warmth to spread up and out through my tired body. Aurelia had warned me that I would probably feel exhaustion in the coming days and weeks.
“Most Omega’s present two to three years before their first heat. Their bodies have time to adjust to the changes of becoming fully Omega. If your hormone panels are correct, you’ll be going into heat in the next couple of months. We will run another test to see if we can pinpoint it, but you’re doing two or three years worth of development in just a few weeks. Be patient with yourself and with your body. Let the Alphas take care of you – it’s in their nature to be providers.” Aurelia had been adamant.
But I didn’t want help. I had managed on my own for years — and managed to care for my sisters, too. I don’t like the idea of needing others to take care of me. Especially strangers.
I sip the brandy again, feeling the liquor loosen me, like a pair of too-tight jeans after the top button finally bursts.
I exhale, and realize that Loren has moved close to me. His fresh scent floats around me, not too tight, but comforting.
“Is there anything we can get you? Other than another drink?” His hair flops across his forehead. I want to giggle at his awkward flirting. It’s cute.
“I’m fine, really. It’s just… a lot to take in. One minute the world is familiar and you know its rules and expectations, and with a clap of thunder everything changes. I’m still trying to find my footing.”
I realize the truth of my words as I’m saying them. I am exhausted in body and in spirit. But also in trying to wrap my brain around learning a new social structure. It’s like learning a new language. I can almost feel my brain making new neural pathways. I wonder what Norah would think of this.
A sudden whoosh of homesickness sweeps through me. Not for my apartment, or even for our childhood home. But for my sisters, and dead parents, and few family friends— the people that made home home .
“Are you okay?” Max moves to my other side and suddenly I am flanked by two incredibly gorgeous Alphas. It would be hot and I would be flustered if I wasn’t overwhelmed with missing my sisters.
“I’m fine. I’m just worried about my sisters. I’m the oldest, but you already know that. It’s been my job to look after them since– for a long time. Right now, everything feels out of my control, and I hate it.” I sniff, tears pricking at the corners of my eye. What is wrong with me?
“I’m not even sentimental. Stiff upper lip and all that. This must be the weird Omega hormones. They warned me that it would be intense, you should know that. I guess I’m doing what most Omegas do in the course of years in like a month.” I hiccup and laugh and try to reign in my erratic feelings.
The truth is that nothing has been under my control since we’ve come to this place. I hate it. Because control, my ability to manage my surroundings, was what has kept me alive for years. It kept me and my sisters alive when people tried to swindle our mom out of her savings after dad died. It kept me alive when men tried to take advantage of me in college. And it kept me alive on deployment in the military. When I couldn’t manage my surroundings, it nearly blew me apart.
My knee spikes with pain, and I tremble. There are too many feelings warring for dominance. Max rubs his fingers up and down my neck, stroking the tense muscles in my shoulders. Loren is on my other side, wrapping an arm around my waist and letting me rest some of my weight against his broad chest. Before I realize what they’re doing, I am sandwiched between them, resting my head and chest against Loren, while Max slowly rubs circles over my tense back and shoulder muscles, comfort seeping into me like a drug.
It’s not erotic, not in the way I would imagine it could be. Instead, it’s gentle. The attraction doesn’t go away, but it’s supplanted by appreciation and affection, and the need to be cared for and to allow them to care for me.
Which is absolutely not okay because I can take care of myself.
I pull away, pushing back from Loren, and stepping to the side, out of Max’s gentle touches. Both men blink back twin looks of hurt and longing. I don’t mean to hurt them. I’ve just never been good at letting anyone take care of me. I don’t like owing people.
“Thank you. I just, I’m not really sure how all of this works. I would ask you to be patient, but I can’t promise any payoff at the end.”
Max grunts. “Tough Girl, we are here for you. No payoff needed. Just you, safe and satisfied. Okay?”
I nod, but stay firmly out of their reach. Luckily, they take the hint and busy themselves with pouring another round of drinks. But I wasn’t lying when I said I was tired. My body is going in two completely different directions. One wants to sleep for a week curled up inside a dozen blankets. The other wants to jump both of these men and fuck them until my calves cramp.
I accept a second drink, even though I probably shouldn’t have it without some food, when I am struck by the tangy zest of lime, and the cool scent of crushed fir needles.
Callum.
I managed to keep thoughts of him away, thinking only of the professor and mysterious third Alpha when I was told I had to come and live here. But now the first Alpha I’ve ever met, the Alpha that had stretched himself bodily over me and awoken desires I had never known were possible, was here.