Chapter 15 #2
Thesan picked up after a sip from the bottle.
“Eventually, Isembard proposed the sort of bet we’re fond of.
In this case, whether he could spot who it was without me telling him.
Turns out that showing up for the first Guild meeting after having Ursula made a couple of things rather more visible.
And he’d been along because, well, it had been a bit. ”
“There were, admittedly, a limited number of places you might have met people to be interested in during that time of your life. They pretty much all involved the Astronomy Guild,” Isembard said, teasing now.
Thesan snorted and twisted to kiss his cheek before settling back to focus on Claudio.
“To be clear, three men— you’ve met all of them, actually— and two women.
One of the women was in a very delicate position professionally.
Any hint of her preferences would have sunk her chances.
She’s been more open about it for the last decade or so, with people who know how to spot it. ”
Claudio nodded at that. He understood that set of maths well enough, even if he’d never had to do them on his own account.
“The other—” Thesan hesitated. “It ended very badly. The sort of badly that meant she was absolutely convinced I was going to blackmail her about it, or bring it out at the worst possible moment for her. My being thought to prefer women would have put her almost as much on edge. People would have gossiped. It wouldn’t have been easy for me professionally either.
It was the year before I started teaching.
I walled all of it off and stuck it deep in a chest in the back of my head.
Told myself I wasn’t fit to have a partner, not and be the sort of teacher I wanted to be.
” There was something of Orion’s absolute way of thinking there, that there was no middle ground, but she didn’t seem upset about it. Just stating a fact.
The first thing Claudio could think of, the loudest thing in his head, was simple. “She didn’t know you at all, did she?”
It was, he thought, the perfect thing to say.
Thesan shifted, one of those changes of expression that couldn’t be simplified.
He knew it meant she had in fact been terrified of mentioning it, and now she was all right with it.
Isembard shifted his arm to rest around her shoulders and nodded.
“No, she didn’t.” His voice was rock solid.
Thesan nodded. “I got into the habit of never hinting. Never thinking about it, really. Being steady for people. Especially here. Students, former students. Staff a couple of times, though I’m not going to say who.
And of course parents get entirely unreasonable about the teachers of their children being anything other than utterly pure.
Whatever that means. Now, you know about Seth and Golshan and Dilly, of course, who gave me a visible reason to be decent to talk to about it.
They gave me permission ages ago to bring them up if it helped, and it has. ”
Claudio had indeed known about them for years.
Since before he’d left school. She’d made a point after he’d finished at Schola of introducing him to her brother Seth, his wife Dilly, and— as they put it in private— their Golshan.
About how all three of them were parents to Seth and Dilly’s children, in every way that mattered.
But no one there had ever been specific about what that meant in private, beyond the fact that they were family.
Seth and Golshan had been good friends since Schola, in each other’s pockets.
Claudio knew perfectly well that was possible without being romantic or sexual.
That was how Claudio was with Orion, and how Isembard had been with his best friend until Perry had died.
But they’d also had the family to bring them together, in a way that seemed different from other relationships he’d seen, where children weren’t part of it.
It was certainly a far more fond and loving home than anything Claudio had known.
Now, he considered. “And it’s also more academic for you now? ”
“Being entirely happily married, and where would I have time for something else, anyway? Even if I could navigate people being around all the time? Just because I like both men and women doesn’t mean I need to do anything about it.
And to be honest, that last relationship put me off trying again.
Might have put me off men, except that Isembard managed to handle things in ways that didn’t make me scared of the same problem.
For one thing, he wanted to be public, in ways she never had, even just as friends.
” Her shoulder twitched. “Not that it made it something I wanted to talk about, even think about, for a few years in there.”
Claudio nodded. “I’m sorry that was so awful.” Something caught at him then. “Is that part of why your warding’s so good?” It was. It had been from before she and Isembard had even met. Isembard had mentioned that once.
Her mouth twisted up. “Not the only reason. But yes. I didn’t want to be surprised by someone catching me when I wasn’t ready for it. She did that. Twice.”
Claudio winced. “So. Unkind, as well as not understanding you at all.” Once could be chance, but he didn’t think twice was. He took a breath and rubbed his face, putting down his bottle of cider so he could do so with both hands. “I made it awful for Matthew, didn’t I?”
“Awkward. Have either of you written or talked since?” Isembard’s voice was gentle, now.