Chapter 36 #2
“Magistra Sprite?” Tiberius raised an eyebrow.
He knew the name, of course. And Claudio knew the overview of her profile.
But she had been keeping rather much to herself since her own Challenge.
Last night she’d apparently invited herself to the conversation that Alexander, Gabe, and Orion had in the aftermath of Gabe defanging some of the nastier parts of the gossip.
With good whiskey and a great deal of good humour and care.
Also, anger at his mother, which, well, Claudio couldn’t argue with.
He could give Tiberius at least a bit of an explanation in some sort of coherent order.
“Three of the others— I’m not going to name them now, but I know who— were gossiping before the meeting last night.
Mary heard the whole thing. Gabe heard most of it.
Mother heard the last bit, which made it clear they were talking about me and Matty. ”
“That doesn’t answer my question.” Tiberius pressed the issue.
Claudio let out a breath. “I hope we’re going to be all right.
It’s asking a lot of him to deal with this.
I wouldn’t blame him if he decided he didn’t want to.
We talked about it. We’ve talked about it multiple times.
The consequences for both of us. But it’s one thing to talk about it and another to be in the middle of it. ”
“Father.” Tiberius pitched his voice properly, a bit of weight behind it.
“What about you?” Claudio hadn’t expected this, not at all, and Tiberius went on insistently.
“How are you? What would help? What do you—” His voice caught for a second but he went through with it. “What do you want out of this?”
There was something there, visible on the surface but also much deeper.
Roots tangling down to the centre of the world, an insistence that would outlast lifetime after lifetime.
It made Claudio so proud that Tiberius felt it, knew it, claimed it, let it show.
And ashamed that this was why. He shouldn’t need to defend his father. Claudio should have handled it better.
It deserved a proper response, a true one.
Claudio took a breath, shaping his voice to stay gentle.
It was a reach, but it wasn’t quite a lie.
“I’m not used to wanting things.” Then he went on before Tiberius could ask about it.
“I have found myself enjoying my time with Matty. In meetings, in the pub, in his flat. I’ve not brought him home for obvious reasons.
” Mother. “Wide-ranging conversations, not having to guard myself. He understands there are things I can’t talk about, things I won’t talk about, confidences. But also that leaves a lot we can.”
He looked up to meet Tiberius’s gaze, and he knew he was smiling. He hadn’t been able to hide that, either.
“When did it start? The talking and the— whatever it is you’re doing?” Ah, there was the rub. And the part Claudio felt especially sharp about.
“The first time we went to the pub was March seventh. The first time I said I might—” Claudio’s voice caught.
“Whatever it is we’re doing. That was the middle of May, the sixteenth.
I didn’t know then if I just wanted more time talking in private, or if I might be open to something more.
And then a week later, we were more sure about that, both of us.
” He lifted his fingers. “That’s private, and also it’s tender.
The sort of thing I might tell you eventually, when it’s settled and I can laugh at myself about it a bit more. ”
“Um.” Tiberius faltered for a moment. “I don’t want to be rude, Father.”
It was one of those moments Gabe had talked about. And Gabe’s father, too, when he knew what was needed, it just needed doing. There was all the weight here, but also the trust, and Claudio would do anything to avoid shattering it. “I’d rather you asked. You.”
Tiberius nodded once, then asked, “Have you been interested in other men before? Even if you didn’t do anything about it?”
It was the logical question, and one Claudio had more or less worked up an answer to this morning.
He could feel himself smiling again, because it was Orion and Matty, and the ways they were the same and different.
All of it had a warmth he wanted to lose himself in.
“I knew people gossiped about me and Orion. But never him, like that. Turns out, someone a bit like him? The way Orion goes at the world, though. I’d never really.
We’re back to not wanting things. Not thinking I could.
” He added after a tiny pause. “I’d like to spare you that.
Not wanting. Like setting up your apprenticeship with something you chose.
And that seems to suit?” His voice rose at the end, a little uncertain again.
“Suits very well, thank you.” That much was apparently simple in this conversation. It was good that something was. “I’ve so much to learn yet, but I’m starting to see how it all fits together, and it’s wonderful.”
“I never really considered it as an option until a few years ago— right at the end of the war— when I met men who’ve been together for decades.
I don’t know why— well, I’ve some theories— but I’d never really thought about it.
And then the Penelopes, well, gossip there is accurate enough, a wide range of preferences.
Most of them keep it quiet, but, well.” Claudio shrugged.
“More examples of the ways things can work.”
“Two more questions.” Good. Tiberius had come up with more. That meant he was thinking, not just reacting. “When would you have told me if the gossip hadn’t?”
“Good question.” Claudio watched Tiberius for twenty seconds. “I’d like to think I’d have said something within the next month. Whether or not Matty was at the Challenge, I’d have wanted him to be at whatever was after. Celebration, commiseration.”
Tiberius ventured carefully. “You think it’s going to be the first. Why’s Grandmother so annoyed, then?”
“That, now, that’s a longer answer than we’ve got time for today.
The sort of thing that takes hours, and I’d have to talk around some pieces.
And I don’t want to burden you with having to keep things from her.
” Claudio shrugged, looking away from the table and blinking once or twice.
“As to why celebration, we have some theories about it. Not well tested. But that now is good. But it’s theory, not something proven, so we might be wrong. ”
Tiberius was quiet for twenty seconds, but when he spoke, he was resolute.
“I know how to keep Grandmother on the reasonable topics. Besides, I can get away with things you can’t.
” That was true enough. Mother gave him space Claudio had never known.
“Right. Last current question. Do they know? Other people? The professors?” Of course he meant Thesan and Isembard there.
“Penelope Edgarton? I assume Uncle Orion?”
“Oh, yes. All of them.” That was well-considered, and still kind.
“They approve. Both Matty as a person, and what it means for me. Could mean for me. Us. Not many people beyond that, though I’m sure a couple of the Penelopes have guesses.
Doyle knows, and Mason and Witt. Check about anyone else, please.
” He was pretty sure half the Penelopes knew, but as he’d told Matty, most of them found it made things easier.
Hetherington and Potts had included him in chats, a different way than before, and he was still contemplating that.
“And Mother and Minerva tomorrow.” Tiberius contemplated that.
Claudio felt his fingers shift on the table.
He was wary of that conversation, though differently than he had been about this one.
Electra would take it as she took it, and Minerva was still at an age where all sorts of adult relationships were perhaps equally baffling.
“How do you think they’ll take it? Or how do you think I ought to tell them? ”
“Straightforward as you can. Would you tell Minerva I’ll come see her Saturday, and we can talk it out? I’ll write her too as soon as you’ve talked.” Tiberius was insistent, leaning forward a hair.