Chapter 1
ONE
Staring into the brightly lit mirror in the club’s bathroom, I tug my crocheted shirt back into place.
It’s open most of the way, exposing nearly my entire chest and the jewelry around my neck.
Matching gems sparkle in my ears, the sapphires identical to the color of my eyes.
My black pants hug my ass, and I check to make sure there isn’t a wrinkle in sight.
Leaning closer, I touch up my eyeliner and lip stain before sweeping my hair back, the front pieces framing my sharp features.
The gray color is starting to fade and will need to be redone soon.
My rings glisten in the light, the gold and silver mismatched pieces covering nearly every finger.
The most important one is my signet ring, and for a moment, I stare at it before meeting my gaze again and forcing a fake smile on my lips.
I am supposed to appear perfect at all times—approachable but untouchable, sexy but powerful, feminine and masculine. I am supposed to be their wildest fantasy and their deepest fear.
My expression screams asshole, and that’s fine with me. It’s better than the truth, which is that I feel nothing, not anymore at least.
I head back out to the party. The bar is fully rented out for us, and friends, associates, and business partners are spread throughout the room. The richest and most dangerous people are all in one space, including the four sons.
That’s what they call us.
Four families run the streets in Pine Valley, and each one has a son—a blessing or a curse, I’m not sure.
We grew up together as allies and enemies, creating a bond that could never be broken.
It was almost natural when Faiz and I started dating eight years ago.
It was expected, but it didn’t make it any less exciting and fun.
We were young and in love, but somewhere along the way, that faded.
Do I still love him?
Does he love me?
I don’t actually know if it’s duty, honor, or love that keeps us together.
Everyone else views us as a powerhouse—two sons of the most dangerous families in Pine Valley linked together in an unstoppable show of force and money.
Faiz Bardin is the eldest son and set to take over from his father in a few years.
The Bardins control imports and exports in the city, as well as those around us.
My eyes land Julies Landry as he takes a shot from a waitress’s ample tits, his black hair spiked up and his ears covered in tattoos and earrings.
The Landrys control all the businesses on the southside.
They made money through violence, and Julies is no exception to that.
He’s rough and rich, but he’s a loyal friend and an even worse enemy, depending on where you stand.
Chan Harper’s voice fills the air as he yells at someone from the stage.
Men and women are draped across him, vying for his attention.
The Harpers run drugs and women. I can’t say it’s my cup of tea, but I’m not one to question morality when my hands are stained with blood and the money I carry is taken by force.
That brings us to the last family.
I am Zia Xander, the only child of the great Marcus Xander, the man who single-handedly took his family from rags to riches in a lifetime.
We run the business sector within the city.
From clubs to construction, you name it, we own it.
The Xanders and Bardins control most of this city, though many would say our family is more powerful than the others.
Is that why Faiz stays with me?
Speaking of, where is he? He was out here doing shots when I went to the bathroom, but now he’s nowhere in sight.
Searching the crowd, I ignore those who are calling to me.
Most of the people here want something—my name, my body, my money, or my power.
Every conversation is filled with a hidden agenda, and every soft touch is a blade digging into my life.
It’s a fine line between trust and power, and I can never be too careful.
The only one I trust is Faiz, but even then, I keep him separate from parts of my life—a habit or a precaution, I don’t know.
“Zia!” Julies yells, wiping powder from his nose as he slings his arm around me. “Having a good night?”
“I forgot what we are even celebrating,” I deadpan, frowning at the wrinkles forming in my shirt from his fumbling touch.
“Who cares? We own this fucking world, so we should enjoy it,” he booms.
“Hmm,” I hum, knowing it’s easier to agree than fight. “Have you seen Faiz?”
“Your lover boy is over there.” He points at a shadowy corner, and my eyes tighten ever so slightly, the only indication of my feelings.
He’s leaning into a young, pretty thing with big eyes and an innocent expression.
He’s just Faiz’s type. “Doesn’t it bother you watching him flirt with others?
” Julies asks curiously, his sharp eyes seeing too much.
He’s high, and I know he will forget this conversation, which is the only reason I admit the next part.
“It used to.” I head to the bar, leaving Faiz to his flirting.
It should upset me, but I’m just . . . tired of all of the parties, men, women, and falseness.
No wonder my father withdrew from this world. It is exhausting.
I tap the bar to get the bartender’s attention, and within a second, a drink appears before me, the server bowing respectfully although fear glints in his eyes.
I might look like a pampered rich boy, but everyone here knows what I’m capable of and what I am willing to do to keep my family and reputation safe. Downing the whiskey, I keep my eyes on the mirror above the bar, looking across the room before I see Faiz lead the young guy down the back corridor.
I watch them go and school my features, refusing to let it get to me.
Breathing deeply, I lay some cash down and turn, winding my way through the party with slow, confident steps.
I stop for photos before I make it to the back corridor they disappeared down.
I don’t run as I head farther down, past the bathroom to a staff only room.
The door is slightly ajar, letting light spill from inside, along with noises.
Familiar noises.
Gripping the handle, I push it open and freeze.
I knew what I would find. It isn’t the first time he’s cheated. It is different seeing it, though, than simply knowing it, and agony shatters my chest before I shove it down. He won’t care if he hurts me. He’ll expect me to stay silent and pretend I don’t know.
Both of us have ignored all of the wrongs and truths within our relationship, but I can’t seem to look away from them.
The young man’s gasps of pleasure fill the air as Faiz’s hands—hands that have held mine for years—slam into the wall on either side of him.
His mouth brushes over the guy’s ear as his hips flex, forcing his cock deeper into his ass.
“Fuck, you like that, don’t you? Like me fucking you where anyone can hear? ”
The man moans, his head falling back to Faiz’s wide shoulders, and he pushes his ass backward to take him deeper as Faiz grunts and speeds up.
Usually, he only lasts a few minutes, so the fact that he’s holding out is surprising.
Gripping the door handle, I hesitate only for a second before softly shutting it, cutting off their moans, and then I walk down the corridor, away from the party.
I will not cause a scene. I will not scream or cry or kill someone.
The truth is, most of me doesn’t even care.
I feel mostly . . . relieved.
It hurts, since I love Faiz, or I did. He was my entire world. I spent years planning our future together, thankful he was at my side, but time changes people.
I don’t know when our relationship became a chore rather than a safe harbor, but it has, and tonight only proves that.
We are expected to be together, but I no longer care.
It’s like I’m finally waking up and looking around.
I hate my life.
Isn’t that a bitch?
I am one of the richest men in the world, and I feel completely lost and alone.
Pushing through the back door, I ignore the alarm it trips and head down the alley to the front of the bar. My Bugatti is surrounded by Ferraris, Lambos, and every pimped-out car you can imagine—another show of wealth. I slide into the custom leather seat, and the engine roars to life.
I don’t know where I’m going, but I can’t stay here.
For once, I need to be alone. I need to drive and let myself be free.
Maybe I should have fought, argued, or done something, but it wouldn’t have changed anything.
He would have apologized and said it won’t happen again.
There would have been a scene, and everyone would know the truth—deep down, I’m a fucking coward stuck in an unhealthy relationship with a man who would rather fuck strangers than his own boyfriend.
I’m surrounded by fakes, and for once, I crave something real, but there is no such thing in this world. Everyone has their own motives, and when it comes down to it, people will always choose themselves. I’ve met truly evil people, but I’ve never met a good person.
The engine purrs as I glide through the city, breaking speeding laws and running red lights. No one will stop me. No one would dare.
Like the weather can sense my darkening mood, the heavens open, rain pelting my windshield. It doesn’t matter. I push my car faster, the dark streets widening as I head toward the water and the industrial area.
It’s dangerous, since we have enemies, but I don’t care. Let them come.
The engine makes a clicking noise, and I lose my grip on the wheel. The car fishtails slightly before I straighten it. My heart hammers, my veins flooding with adrenaline, and I stop on the side of the road.
Gripping the wheel, I can’t help but laugh. I laugh so hard tears fill my eyes, and I smack the wheel. Of fucking course I broke down.
I try the engine again, but nothing, and I laugh harder.
It’s either that or I’ll scream.