Chapter 33
THIRTY-THREE
“What were you thinking?” his dad roars.
He’s been ranting at Nikko since he opened his eyes half an hour ago.
He’s back in bed, and this time his door is locked.
He’s going to be okay, but the doctors are furious he left.
I was worried if he woke up again and I wasn’t there, he would do the same thing, so I sent Yuki for what we need.
When his dad finally stops, Nikko stares at him sternly. “I couldn’t let him leave.”
His dad gapes, and Nikko smiles. “I know you understand. You told me you chased Mom down a highway when she tried to leave you.”
His dad sputters, seeming to slump as he pinches his nose. “God forbid the foolish men in our family fall in love.” He points at me. “You deal with him. I need to calm down.” He points at Nikko. “If you try that again, I’ll chain you to that bed.”
We watch him go, and I look back at Nikko. “He’s serious, you know. Your dad was terrified when you were brought in here. Be kind to him.”
“I’m trying,” Nikko mutters as he watches me. “You really weren’t leaving?”
“No,” I reply. “I was going to get supplies.”
He nods and leans back, his eyes on me. “We didn’t finish our talk.”
“We can talk when you’re better. Just rest, okay?” I implore. I’m not ready to discuss this yet. I can’t live without Nikko. I can’t stay away, but I’m not ready to give him what he wants. Luckily, he lets it go and relaxes into the bed.
Friends and other boxers come by most of the day, filling his room with balloons and flowers, and we have to usher them out so Nikko can rest. I work during the afternoon while he naps, and after his last checkup, his dad yawns and stretches.
“Why don’t you head home?” I suggest as I stand.
“No, I should be here.” He glances at Nikko.
“I’m staying tonight anyway. Both of us don’t need to be here, not with your bad back.” I walk over and lay my hand on his arm. “I promise to call if anything changes, but he’s okay.”
He looks between us and sighs. “You’ll stay?”
“All night,” I vow. “Go home and get some sleep. You look like shit.”
“Gee, thanks, kid,” he scoffs, but he nods and moves over to Nikko. “Be good. Don’t make me kick your ass.”
“Thanks, Dad,” he mutters, but he smiles. “Get some sleep. He’s right, you need it.”
“I will. Who’s the parent here?” he teases as he kisses his son’s forehead.
“I love you, kid. Don’t scare me like that again.
” He heads my way and wraps his arms around me.
“Take care of my boy for me, will you? I’m trusting you with him.
” He pats my back and walks toward the door.
I watch him go before glancing at Nikko.
His eyes say too much, so I turn away and lay out the blanket Yuki bought for me, adjusting the sofa’s pillows. After I go to the bathroom, wash up, and change into something more comfortable, I return to Nikko. “Lights on or off?”
“Off please,” he requests. It’s late, and we both need to sleep, so I turn them off, leaving only the light from the moon.
Heading to the sofa, I slide under the blanket, wincing at how uncomfortable it is and how my legs dangle off the edge.
I turn and settle on my back, knowing I’ll be sore tomorrow, but I don’t care.
I’m not going anywhere. If Nikko’s here, then I will be here too.
We lapse into silence as I struggle to close my eyes. Too much has happened. It whirls around in my brain, leaving me far too energized, and I must not be the only one because Nikko speaks.
“I know you probably aren’t used to sleeping on a sofa,” he says. I can hear him moving around in the bed, and I stop myself from checking on him for the millionth time.
“It’s fine,” I say, our voices soft in the dark.
He’s quiet for a moment. “Come here,” he murmurs.
“I’m fine—”
His eyes narrow as he sits up. “If you don’t come here, I’ll go there.”
Grumbling, I slide from the sofa and head over, stopping at his bedside. “What is it—” My words end in a yelp as his good hand darts out and yanks me down to his chest. He wraps me in his arms and blankets.
“Nikko.” I start to move, and he groans, so I freeze.
“I’m in pain, so don’t move too much,” he guilts. “Now I can sleep.” He nuzzles his face into the nape of my neck and inhales. “I kept thinking about what would happen if I went to sleep again and you weren’t here when I woke up. This way, I know you can’t leave.”
Agony rips through my chest at the pain I hear in his voice, knowing he’s scared to sleep in case he’ll lose me again.
I did that, and I have to live with it.
I settle into his arms and slowly turn so we can see each other. “I won’t do it again.”
“Promise?” he whispers.
“I promise. I’m sorry I made you worry.” I stroke his face, allowing myself that weakness. “Your beautiful face.”
“It will heal,” he promises, kissing my hand. “As long as you still want me.”
“Even if you were like this forever,” I whisper, “I will always want you, Nikko.”
He swallows, looking at me. “So why did you leave?”
There’s no escape, and honestly, I’m tired of trying. “It really was to protect you. My life is filled with nothing but death and pain—”
“Then let me be the goodness in it. Let me be your safety, your happiness. I’m not afraid.”
“I am,” I admit. “I’m afraid you’ll get hurt because of me.”
“I got hurt even without you.” He sighs. “You can’t let fear stop you from living your life, Zia. I know what I want—you. If it makes your decision easier, I’m not going anywhere ever again.”
“I could escape you, Nikko. I have money and power,” I scoff.
“I don’t care. I’d find you. I wouldn’t stop until I did. No money or connections could keep me away from you.” He presses his forehead to mine. “Stop running, Zia. Stop worrying. Just let me in. Just let me . . .” I see fear in his eyes before he continues on. “Let me love you.”
My eyes widen and I still, barely breathing as he takes a deep breath.
“I love you, Zia. I know you aren’t ready to hear that.
I know you’re still guarding your heart from the last idiot who took it and abused it, but I can’t stop myself from loving you.
I fell so slowly, over every little thing—the way you laugh, the way you smile, your determination, your brain, your body, your kindness.
How could I not love you? The moment you left me, you took it all with you.
I’ve never been so scared in my entire life.
Losing you terrified me, and I realized my life means nothing without you.
I can’t live without you. You brought me happiness, Zia, something I didn’t even know I was missing.
The night I met you, I knew everything would change, but I’m not afraid anymore.
You can be scared for both of us, but I’m not. ”
“Nikko . . .” I trail off, unsure what to say.
“Give me your heart, Zia,” he whispers, pressing his forehead to mine.
“I promise I will never hurt it. I will spend my life protecting it. Give it to me the way I have given you mine. It’s not fair, but I want it.
I need it. You stole mine long ago. You’re here.
You could be anywhere else, but you’re here. ”
“I can’t—” I swallow. “I can’t say those words, Nikko, not again, maybe not ever.
I just can’t. I don’t know if I will ever be able to fully trust anyone after everything Faiz did to me, but if I could, it would be you.
If I could love again, Nikko, it would be you.
I can’t give you what you want, but I can tell you this—I’m happy when I’m with you.
You are the only thing in my life that is easy, that feels safe and warm.
Everyone expects something from me, but not you.
I can just be me when I’m with you. I don’t know if that’s enough, but I’m not going anywhere. ”
“That’s enough for now.” He kisses my head. “But be prepared, Zia, because I’m going to win your heart and trust, and I’ll guard them with my life. I’m not letting you go. I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you.”
I smile as I stare at him. “Your dad was right. God forbid a man from your family falls in love.”
“We’re brave suckers.” He chuckles. “I never understood my dad’s love for my mom.
I knew what love was, but that type of devotion eluded me until you.
Whatever happens, Zia, I won’t regret meeting you that rainy night.
It was the best thing to ever happen to me.
You are the best thing to ever happen to me. ”
“What about your championship?” I tease.
“No title could ever compare to the one you gave me—yours.”
Biting back my smirk, I close my eyes and move closer. “Crazy man.”
“Beautiful, perfect man,” he responds as he holds me tighter. “Sleep. Tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start for us both.”
We fall asleep, his heart unburdened from his confession and mine hurting from it.
Can I ever love Nikko like he deserves?
Can I ever be what he needs?
I hope so.
I hope I can learn to love again, because what I said is true—if it could be anyone, it would be him.
We spend two more days in the hospital, and his room is never empty. His father is here every day, as is Yuki, Charlie, and most of the other boxers. Apparently, reporters have gathered outside, wanting an interview, but I block them. Nikko will talk when he’s ready.
He holds me every night. It seems he struggles to sleep unless I’m there. I know I did that, and it kills me. On the final day, the doctors discharge him, mainly because of his insistence he is fine and doesn’t need to be here.
“If you go home, you’ll be back in the gym,” his father snaps, his arms crossed.
“Why don’t you go home with Zia?” Charlie suggests, perking up. “He’s the only one who can make you listen anyway. At least we’ll know you’re safe and not exerting yourself until you’re fully healed.”
All eyes turn to me. The idea of him in my house feels too . . . personal, like we are living together, and with his promise ringing in my ears, I look to Yuki for help. “Zia is staying with his father at the moment.”
“My dad is sick,” I explain. “He’s been worse over the last few weeks. He won’t admit it, but he is. I’m staying at his house to keep my eye on him.”
“I’m sure he won’t mind.” Yuki pulls his phone out, and before I can protest, he’s smiling.
“Mr. Xander, I’m so sorry. I still can’t call you by your first name.
I just called to ask if it would be okay for Zia’s boyfriend, Nikko, to stay with him at your place.
He was injured after a fight—yes, that one. ”
I gape, and Yuki nods, hums, then hangs up. “Your dad says it’s fine, sir.”
“How the hell does my father know about Nikko?” I ask, suddenly worried.
“Sir.” He raises his eyebrows. “No offense, but you learned everything from your father. He might be retired, but do you really think he doesn’t keep tabs on your life?”
“Do you spy for him?” I ask as I slowly stand.
Yuki grins, holding his hands up. “No, but that doesn’t mean others don’t. I’ll go to Nikko’s and pack his bags.” He waves at Nikko and his dad and runs away, no doubt seeing the fury on my face.
“Well, that’s settled.” His father nods, and I just stare.
Fuck, is Nikko really coming to live with me?
From the look in his eyes, he’s thinking the same thing I am.
It’s the perfect chance for him to make me love him.
I’m so fucked.
“Father, this is Nikko.” I sigh. Yuki is already taking his bags upstairs, but my dad was waiting in the foyer.
His face is cold as he runs his eyes over Nikko. “You have a job, yes?”
“Yes, sir. I’m a boxer aiming for the championship,” Nikko responds respectfully.
“And you have no hidden wives, girlfriends, husbands, or children?” my dad asks.
“No, sir.” Nikko smiles. “Only your son.”
My dad crosses his arms. “Father—” I begin, but he holds up his hand, and I swallow my words. He doesn’t want me to question him in front of his guards. I know it bothers him when they look to me for answers anyway.
“You love my son?”
“Yes, sir,” Nikko answers without hesitation.
The atmosphere is tense for a moment, and then a wide smile stretches across his face. “Good boy, come here.” He drags Nikko into a hug and slaps his back. “Then welcome home. My house is yours. Welcome to the family, Nikko.”
“Father,” I admonish.
“I like him. He’s strong.” My dad looks at me. “Better than Faiz.”
“You loved Faiz,” I scoff.
“No, I was nice to him. Come on, Nikko. Do you play chess?” He leads him away as I gape.
I have a really bad feeling about this.