Chapter Eleven
Braxten
S olemn silence fills the morning as I sit with Justice and my father on the front porch of the main house, finishing my coffee from breakfast.
Alice left minutes ago with Ryanne and Hannah for a tour of the farm. It’s something I wanted to do with her, but when my niece asked if she could take her I couldn’t say no. It’s probably for the best anyway. I need to clear my head after everything that went down with Knox this morning.
He stepped into dangerous territory and he knows it. I have no doubt he only did it to scare Alice and I hate to say that it worked. The unease that resonated on her face in that split second still has anger coiling through every inch of my body.
Among that anger though is an undeniable guilt because I also saw my brother’s fear in that moment. Fear of change, fear of the unknown.
Fear of being alone.
All things I swore he would never feel again.
It’s something I will need to deal with and soon, but first…
Find the threat and eliminate it.
“Alice is starting to remember.” My gaze never strays from the scenery before me as I share the new revelation.
The sound of my father’s rocking chair stills while Justice’s head snaps my way. “What does she remember?”
He…He hurt me, Braxten. He hurt me really bad.
My fists clench, aching with the violence I long to unleash. I manage to shove it down before pulling my gaze away to look at my brother. “Nothing for us to go on.”
He shakes his head, his disappointment apparent.
“And I want it to stay that way.”
He tenses, looking back at me. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“I don’t want her remembering anything anymore. Not after what I saw her go through last night. We need to figure this out on our own, got it?”
His steady gaze remains on mine, an argument brewing within, but whatever he sees in mine has him backing down.
His jaw ticks before he gives in with a nod.
My father cuts in, taking control of the conversation.
“I took the liberty of faxing a copy of the letter to Agent Jameson. He’s going to have a criminal profiler take a look at it.
We’ll see if he thinks there is any truth to what this riddle claims and hopefully even get a profile on what kind of person we’re dealing with here. ”
“We’re dealing with a fucking dead man,” I grit, knowing that much is true.
After last night, my need for vengeance is even stronger. Remembering Alice’s terrified screams, the fear in her eyes as she told me how that bastard hurt her has my need for bloodshed ready to blow like a volcano.
My father leans over from his spot in his rocking chair, grasping my shoulder in a firm grip.
“I know you’re angry, son, and I don’t blame you, but we must keep our wits about us.
Hate is the enemy in all of this, we mustn’t let it poison our hearts.
We need to remain strong and steadfast in our plan. ”
“And what plan is that, Dad?” I ask, having a hard time keeping calm. “I can’t just fucking sit here waiting for Craig and Ryder to get answers. Not anymore. Not after yesterday.”
“He’s right,” Justice cuts in. “This asshole came knocking on our door and it’s time we answer it—with our barrels locked and loaded.”
My father holds up a hand. “Now, just hold on a minute. I’m not suggesting we do nothing. I spoke with Craig this morning about an idea I have and he thinks it’s a good one.”
“What’s that?” I ask.
“That we all go to the cookout tomorrow at Oak Park, including Alice.”
I gape at my father, my jaw unhinging. “No fucking way. That place is going to be packed with people.”
“That’s precisely the point. If this bastard is watching like I think he is, it would be a good opportunity in catching him. Craig will post men around the perimeter of the park. Between them and us there would be more than enough eyes to search out anyone or anything unusual.”
I consider what he says, knowing if this was anyone else I would think it was a good plan, but this isn’t someone else. This is Alice. A girl I have sworn to protect at all costs.
I shake my head. “I don’t want her out in the open like that. I can’t risk it.”
“Being out in public is probably the safest place for her other than here,” my father counters softly.
Justice cuts me a look and I can tell he’s switched sides before he even says it. “He’s got a point, Brax. The chances of this asshole pulling anything with that many people around is slim.”
Because he’s a fucking coward.
If he wasn’t he would have delivered that letter himself. He also wouldn’t have hurt someone as delicate as Alice.
“Like you said, we can’t just sit back anymore. It’s time we make a move and this might be it.”
A harsh breath escapes my lungs before I begrudgingly agree.
“Then it’s settled,” my father says, standing from his chair. “We go into this with our eyes open and heads straight.”
We both nod.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go in search of that brother of yours and find out why he didn’t join us for breakfast.”
The mention of Knox sends my already turbulent emotions into a tailspin.
“I’ll catch up with you two later.” After a clap to each of our shoulders, my father heads toward the gun shed. A place where my brother usually hides out, especially when he needs to blow off steam.
“I was wondering the same thing,” Justice says, pulling out a cigarette and lighting up. “Any idea why Knox didn’t show up for breakfast?”
“Yep,” I answer, but give him nothing else.
He cocks a brow, waiting for more of a response.
I decide to give it to him, knowing he won’t back down, and relay the events of this morning, giving him the condensed version.
A scowl slips over my brother’s face. “Knox did that?”
I nod.
Knox can be an asshole, we both know it, but for him to cross the line like he did with me…that’s not just uncommon, it’s completely unheard of. Maybe that’s why this is hitting so damn hard.
“He’s scared,” Justice says through a ribbon of smoke “He didn’t mean it.”
“I know that, but this isn’t Alice’s problem. She shouldn’t have to deal with the fall out of this. Our bond has nothing to do with her.”
“You’re right. It doesn’t.”
My gaze strays back to the property before us as I search for answers in the only place I have ever called home. “I don’t know what to do anymore,” I admit. “Our bond hasn’t been the same since you left, but we still had each other. He still had me.”
“Now he doesn’t?” He voices it as a question rather than a statement.
Staring back at my brother, I put words to a confession I have yet to voice out loud. “Now he doesn’t.”
The truth is, what went down this morning solidified what Knox and I already knew was coming, but weren’t ready to break just yet. I hate feeling like I’ve let him down, that I’m breaking a promise I never intended to break, but I also never expected Alice.
Waking up with her in my arms this morning was the best fucking feeling in the world. The feel of her warm skin against mine, the smell of her scent invading my senses…it made me want things I’ve never wanted before.
It also gave me the biggest fucking hard on which is why I decided to take a shower in the first place.
The last thing I wanted was for her to wake up to my eager cock pressing against her, begging for things I know she’s not ready for.
Or what I thought she wasn’t ready for, but after this morning I’m not so sure anymore.
The memory of those innocent blue eyes watching me as I jacked off in the shower flashes through my mind.
I heard her when she first entered and knew there was no backtracking.
I expected her to scurry out like a frightened doe when she figured out what I was doing, but she didn’t.
She stayed, she watched, and I gave her a show worthy of a fucking Oscar.
Those pretty pink lips of hers had been slightly parted, cheeks flushing with desire, while her sweet little nipples pressed against the thin silk of her nightgown, just begging for my mouth…
It took everything in me not to pull her in that goddamn shower with me and give her a live reenactment of every filthy thought parading through my mind.
“You’re really serious about this girl, aren’t you?” Justice says, almost sounding surprised by it.
“Yeah, I am.”
Every day this pull only gets stronger, the need in my blood simmering into something that can’t be denied. I love to fuck as much as I love to shoot, but I can say with certainty I have never wanted someone the way I want Alice. Not just her body either, but all of her.
“Look, I get it.” He exhales one final curl of smoke before putting his cigarette out. “I was in the same place months ago. I still struggle with the guilt of walking away. Some nights it eats at my fucking soul until there is nothing left.”
His admission takes me by surprise. I knew it was hard on him at first, breaking a decade long bond we all never expected, but I didn’t know he was still feeling this way.
“I don’t know, Brax, sometimes I wonder if…”
“What?” I press when he trails off.
He peers back at me, the same remorse I feel reflected in his gaze. “I wonder if we did him more harm than good by doing what we did.”
The impact of those words crush me like a ton of bricks. “What are you saying, you regret it?”
“Never,” he states. “I’ll never regret that time with you guys. It not only made us closer, it helped us all through those dark times.”
I’ll never forget the night we forged the bond. Justice and I had started screwing far younger than we should have. All three of us had an endless supply of women throwing themselves at us when we first came here. Even women who were far older than us.
They loved the forbidden.
It never bothered me because I used them just as much as they used me. They were my escape, masking the torment that lived inside of me from a lifetime of pain. I couldn’t get enough.
On those nights when Justice and I took what was offered to us, Knox sat alone. After learning of his past, we knew he wouldn’t ever make the move. Not if we didn’t show him how good it could be.
It was only supposed to be one time. One woman and the three of us taking what was offered, but that night we saw just how deep those demons ran for my brother and it set in motion something that changed the course of our relationship forever.
“I might not regret it, but we should have thought it through more,” Justice admits. “We should have thought about the repercussions when the time came to end it. Because now, here we are, ready to move on, and he’s sitting alone once again.”
I swallow what feels like a thousand fucking razor blades, each one slicing my vocal cords. “So what do we do? How do we help him? We can’t just turn our backs on him.”
“Of course not. We’ll still be there for him, Brax, and we need to make sure he knows we still need him. We continue the bond, we just have to find another way to reach him.”
What if there is no other way? What if Justice is right and what we did actually caused Knox more harm than good?
I quickly shove the thought away. I don’t know how yet, but I will fix this. I will make this right for my brother because leaving him to fight his demons alone is something I can’t do.
I will slay every fucking one for him if it’s the last thing I do.