Vanessa
Chapter twenty-one
Braxton doesn’t come back to Dr. Lasher’s for two days. He texted and said he had to handle things and wouldn’t be able to talk much, if at all. I understood because sometimes men in this life have to go dark for periods of time. I get it. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t sting.
The effects of the sedation have finally worn off.
I remember him leaving, saying he was going to come back, but everything else feels like a waking dream.
Dr. Lasher said that’s completely normal.
That it can take a bit to come back to yourself fully.
I’m still on some pretty heavy-duty meds, but today I feel much more like myself.
“Hey,” Braxton says, walking into my room. “How are you feeling?”
Excitement at seeing his face races through me. “Better, I think. Still have the good meds going, though.”
He smiles, but it’s small and tight.
“Mom, why don’t you and Noel take a walk and get some fresh air? You’ve been cooped up here for the last three days,” I say.
She looks at me, then Braxton, and nods, understanding evident in her eyes.
My mom stands and leans over me, kissing the top of my head. “Okay, sweetie. I’ll be back in a little bit.”
She pats Braxton’s arm as she and Noel walk out the door.
“Everything okay with you?” I can’t quite put my finger on it, but he seems off. It’s not that he’s a little more subdued. I’ve seen him like that plenty of times. But he usually isn’t like that with me.
“We took care of Russ and Damien. They can’t get to you ever again.”
“Thank you. I know you didn’t do it for me, but—”
“What I did was for you. They would have died, there’s absolutely no doubt. But the pain I made Russ feel before I slit his throat? That was for what he did to you and your family.”
I study him for a moment, tilting my head to the side. “Is it weird I find that sweet?”
Braxton chuckles and shakes his head. “You’re asking the wrong person, sweetheart.”
“Sit down. Having you hover over me is making me nervous. You look like you’re ready to bolt out the door any second.”
Braxton smiles slightly, but it looks forced. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
“Just still kind of tired, but at least now I can actually comprehend what’s going on. Nothing felt real when I woke up. It was kind of freaking me out. Like maybe I had died and was living in some weird afterlife. That probably sounds crazy. I don’t really know how to explain it.”
“Not weird at all.”
I give him a dopey smile and feel my eyelids growing heavy.
“I don’t like that you were gone. I hated not being able to see you. That’s the longest we’ve been apart since I came to the club…what? A month ago?” Why does it feel like so much longer than that?
“Something like that,” he says. “You look like you’re about to fall asleep. I’ll get out of here and let you rest.”
“No, please don’t. Stay with me for a while. I realized something.”
“Yeah? What’s that?” he asks.
“I sleep way better with you next to me than I ever did on my own.”
“You’re drugged up, sweetheart. I think you’ve been sleeping just fine,” he says with a small tilt to his lips.
“You know what I mean. Stay.”
Braxton settles back into the chair and nods. “Okay, I’ll stay.”
I give him a small smile and close my eyes. “Thank you. I just need a little nap.”
“Take whatever you need,” he says as I drift off into la-la land.
When I wake, my mom is sitting in the chair Braxton was occupying. I look at the clock on the wall and realize three hours have passed.
“Where’s Braxton?” I say, but my throat is scratchy as hell, so it comes out as nothing more than a whisper.
My mom hands me a cup of water with a straw, and I sip from it. That eases the dryness, but I’m still wondering where the hell Braxton is, and why it feels like he’s disappearing bit by bit.
“He said he had some things to take care of,” my mom answers.
I shake my head and look the other way when tears sting my eyes. It’s always fucking something, especially these last few days. I thought he wanted to be with me. He’s the one who made the old-lady claim, and now he’s nowhere in sight.
A couple more days pass, and Dr. Lasher is easing up on my pain medication. She still checks on me several times a day to make sure I can handle it. Other than a twinge in my back every now and then, the amount she has me on is doing just fine.
“You can probably go home tomorrow,” she says as she writes a few notes on my chart. It’s kind of amusing that she does that, as though I’m lying in an actual hospital and not her underground clinic where, so far, I haven’t seen another patient.
“That’s good. You’ll probably be happy to have us out of your hair,” I say.
“I actually like having your mom and sister here. God, she’s an amazing cook, and my daughter has had a ball having another kid here to hang out with.”
“If you tell her that, she’ll probably leave you with a freezer full of food,” I joke.
“I’ll definitely be mentioning it, then.” Dr. Lasher sets my chart on the table next to her. “So I’m assuming you’re going back to Shine. That’s a drive from here, but I’ll come by next week to check you over again.”
“I’m not sure where I’m going, if I’m being honest.”
“Oh. Sorry, I thought Braxton and you were…”
“So did I.” My gaze zeroes in on a little snag on the blanket I’m covered in, and I pick at it with my nail.
“I’ve barely talked to him since I woke up.
I call, and he doesn’t answer. I text, and nothing.
If I do hear from him, it’s a quick Hi, glad you’re doing okay, gotta go, we’re right in the middle of something.
I’m getting the distinct impression that I’m being brushed off, which makes no sense to me, considering it was the exact opposite before…
well, before he saw me get shot and almost die. ”
“Maybe seeing that is affecting him more than what he’s telling you,” she offers.
“Maybe.” But that doesn’t feel right. “It’s like he’s this whole other person I don’t know.
I’d heard he was a broody asshole when I first met him.
Okay, maybe not the first time, that’s a whole other story.
But not since I came to the clubhouse a month ago.
He was never really like that with me. Actually that’s not entirely true either.
He had his broody moments, but nothing like this.
And I got him to loosen up with me. But now?
” I shrug. “Now he’s the guy everyone talked about. ”
“He’s pushing you away. Hot and heavy in the beginning then nothing at the end.”
“Yeah, exactly.”
“I’m familiar with that kind of man,” she says.
“You want my opinion?” I nod. “Run the other direction. Men like that will only break your heart. They’ll say all the right things to get what they want, then bam, they split.
No goodbye, no forwarding address. Just gone.
And if you’re really unlucky, they’ll show back up and try to do it all again.
Learn your lesson the first time and let go. ”
I’m not going to lie, her answer kind of shocks me. Most women I know would say something about giving him a chance, he’s probably going through a lot, blah, blah, blah. Not Dr. Lasher, apparently.
“I take it you’ve gone through something similar?”
She lets out a little chuckle. “Yeah. And obviously, I’m a little bitter still. Sorry if that came across as harsh.”
“No worries. I get harsh. Shit, I lived harsh. I just thought this was different.” I release a long breath. “What did you do when he came back?”
“Told him to go to hell.”
“Did that work?”
“No.” She rolls her eyes. “Not even a little.”
The next day, Hendrix shows up with an SUV and an envelope for Dr. Lasher.
“Payment for your services from Liam.”
The doctor opens the envelope, peers inside, then her lips form a thin line. She pulls out what looks like an airline ticket and hands it to Hendrix.
“Tell him nice try,” she says, then turns to me. “I’ll see you next week. Text me your address when you decide where you’re staying.”
I nod and give her a hug before my mom and sister do the same.
Hendrix opens the passenger door for me in the back seat, and I settle inside.
My plan was to go back to New York so my mom could pack up our little apartment then go to Shine.
I don’t know what’s waiting for me there, but at the very least, I can get my car and say goodbye to Sylvie and the girls.
Best-case scenario, though, is Braxton will put my fears to rest and we can leave all this shit behind us.
Once my mom and sister are in the car with Noel sitting in the row behind me and my mom in the front, Hendrix gets in the driver’s seat and hands me an envelope. My brows furrow and I open it, pulling out a cashier’s check for twenty thousand dollars.
“What the hell is this?” I demand to know.
“From Braxton. Said something about a nest egg for you and your family to start over.”
“He said what?” I yell.
“Vanessa, the doctor wants you to take it easy still. Yelling isn’t that,” my mom says.
“Listen, I’m not his messenger, so don’t fucking shoot me.
That’s what he said, and I didn’t ask any more questions.
I’m not everyone’s damn errand boy. If Braxton or Liam needs to work shit out with their women, they need to do it themselves,” Hendrix says, the last part more to himself than to me.
I don’t know exactly why he included Liam’s name, but I have a feeling.
“Where to?” he asks.
“Shine,” I answer through my clenched jaw. “We’re going to the clubhouse.”
Hendrix lets out a loud breath through his nose and shakes his head. “Okay…”
When Hendrix pulls up to the clubhouse gates, Logan is standing in front.
He sees it’s Hendrix and opens it for us.
Our reluctant messenger parks, and I tell my mom and sister to stay in the car.
The only thing I’ve been doing for the last two hours is stewing over the fact that Braxton seriously thought he could give me a check and I’d be on my merry way.
The fucking nerve. If he changed his mind about us, he’s going to say it to my damn face.