29. RJ
Chapter 29
RJ
W e stayed up on the phone with Trips and Jansen until the sky was turning light, trying to figure out what Jasmine’s warning means for us. This was after Trips wore himself out yelling about how stupid we were for all going someplace together, instead of keeping up our cover. But after he calmed down enough to hear us, even he had to admit there was no way we could have guessed we’d run into Jasmine at a random dance club.
Once everyone was calm, we shared information. It turned out the mobile team Jansen was stalking also hated the idea of the tryouts. As they were in the “people moving” line of work rather than forgery and cat burglary, they agreed to walk. They even agreed to back out at the last minute, so there’s only one other team to find in the next two weeks.
One down, one to go.
But why the warning? Clara was sure that Jasmine didn’t want to make us jump through hoops, that someone else was pulling her strings. This warning just verifies it.
We talked ourselves into circles, then called it for the night, Walker, Clara, and I having taken turns changing into pajamas as the call went on and on.
I have a feeling that if I weren’t here, Walker and Clara would be curled up naked under the covers instead of sitting cross-legged on the bed, three feet of rumpled blankets between them.
God, that moment on the dance floor, the escalating series of wants in my body, in hers, Walker directing us both, it feels more like a wet dream than a real thing that happened.
I shared my first actual kiss with one of my best friends, and I don’t even mind, because it was Clara. Even now, her hair piled on her head, her makeup wiped clean, I can’t believe I’m even in the same room as her. She’s amazing. Not just beautiful, but so smart, driven, capable.
She spoke for us—as our leader—without knowing our history, what we’re capable of. And she pulled it off. Jasmine bought it without question.
She was a shaky mess on the bus ride home, but she strutted out of that club, playing the part of our queen with grace.
And that’s what she’s becoming. I see it. Walker might call her princess, but she’s a goddamned queen.
And I’ll take whatever role she needs in her court. I’ll be the fucking jester if that’s what she wants. I just want to be a part of this.
She turns, a tired smile lighting her eyes. “Bedtime?”
“Of course, sugar. ”
Walker stretches. “I’ll take the pullout.”
“No—” both Clara and I say at the same time.
“I’ve got the pullout,” I finish my thought.
Clara rolls her eyes, pulling back the blankets while she lets her hair loose around her shoulders. “No one has the pullout. There’s plenty of room in this gigantic bed.”
Walker and I share a glance. He sighs, a question on his face. I nod, and he crawls to the side closest to the door. “Fine, princess. As long as you promise we’ll sleep. We still have a big day tomorrow. Or I guess, today?”
I inch to the other side of the bed, Clara’s eyes bright as I slide under the blanket next to her. Part of me wants to cuddle in, to pretend this is a normal thing for me, while the rest of me is so scared that I’m going to touch her wrong, be too needy or too aloof.
Oh my God, I feel like I’m Jade talking about her latest crush, but honestly, Jade has a hell of a lot more experience with guys than I do with girls. Which is perfectly pathetic.
Clara rests her head on my chest, and I freeze, one hand on my belly, the other rubbing my thigh. Walker pops up on his elbow, catching my eye over her head, and the laughter in his gaze telling me exactly how freaked out I must look right now.
Luckily, he keeps his mouth shut, curling up behind Clara, his arm tight around her waist.
They both pass out almost instantly, Clara’s body warm and heavy against my own. I’m afraid to take a deep breath, to wake her, so freaking tense where she is slack in sleep.
The sun cuts through the curtain, casting pale gold rays across the bed. Clara shifts off my chest, burrowing against my shoulder, her hair tumbling down over her face. I roll onto my side, my fingers careful as I tuck her curls back over her shoulder, her eyes shaded from the light by my body. A little hum eases out of her lips before she drags the pillow down under her head, and I almost stop breathing.
How did I end up here? With her?
How did I get so lucky?
One of her hands stretches toward me and I lace my fingers with hers, holding it over my heart.
I press a kiss to her forehead, amazed that I even can. If nothing else, I know after tonight she wants me, too. Just like she wants Jansen and Walker.
I heard her and Jansen that night a few weeks ago, the night Walker turned into the worst version of himself. I stood outside her door, wanting to walk away, but frozen by their groans. Locked in place, I imagined what it would be like to step into the room, to watch what I could only hear.
And now, I’m here, in the same bed as her and Walker, her breath tickling my skin.
Walker tugs her a little closer against his chest, and I realize I should find this weird, the three of us tangled together.
But I’ve only ever really belonged with these guys. I love my family, but I’ve never fit, and I never will. Here? This is my real family. With Clara in the mix, it feels complete, like I found the secret bonus level that makes the game legendary.
She’s the fulcrum.
And I’m starting to think she’s my personal nexus, my home base, the point around which I’m going to circumnavigate, my singular guiding star .
I run the back of my knuckles down her cheek, not wanting to wake her, but needing to touch her, to force myself to believe this is real.
Resting my hand on the back of hers, both heavy on my chest, I close my eyes, dreading my dreams. This moment is more than the best thing my imagination could cook up. I don’t want it to end. Ever.