31. Clara
Chapter 31
Clara
I toss my copy of The Samurai’s Garden onto Emma’s coffee table. Its chill vibes and my stress are not compatible. “I’m done. No more studying,” I announce.
Emma holds her highlighter between her teeth, her hands winding a braid over her shoulder, a heavy higher-level biology textbook on her lap. “Um hmm,” she hums, obviously not listening.
I haul myself off her couch, stretching, before wandering to her kitchen, getting a Coke out of her fridge. My phone buzzes twice in quick succession in my pocket, and I debate not checking it.
I’ve spent all week trying to connect with the guys and failing, but the moment I choose to spend time with someone who actually makes me a priority, now I’m popular? I mean, I don’t know for sure it’s one of the guys, but my parents call, Emma’s across the room, and courtesy of Bryce, my social circle is basically nonexistent.
Of course, all week, I’ve been trying to corner Walker, but he’s as slippery as usual.
RJ’s back to spending all day and half the night scraping the internet for more information, looking for leads on the other team from the tryouts, ironing out the internal systems at the Art Institute of Chicago, keeping up with his schoolwork and whatever else he does to add to the business’ coffers.
Jansen has been in and out, crawling into my bed smelling like the chop shop right before sunrise. I’ve tried to nudge him awake, but once he’s out, he’s out.
And Trips? I’ve been unfailingly polite, playacting the best good girl version of myself for him. Every smile, every time I’m helpful, every “thanks” I say, his face twists, my sweetness sour on his tongue.
At least one thing is going as planned.
I pop the can, taking a sip, as my phone buzzes again.
Sighing, I yank it out of my pocket, seeing three texts: two from Jansen and one from Trips.
I open the series from Jansen first:
Hey beautiful! Sorry I’ve been MIA all week. Heads up, I mentioned that cute little flirtation between you and Trips to him (mmm—wish I’d been here to see how that all played out)
He added the lips, eggplant, and water emojis to that one, and I can feel my cheeks heat. The next message doesn’t help .
He…wasn’t happy. Sorry. xxx
“Really, Jansen?” I whine. Of course he found those texts, and of course he shared it. Because he’s okay with it. Jansen’s onboard with my “all the dicks no pricks” plan. I don’t know why, but I’m not looking a gift guy in the mouth.
If I ignore Trips, he’s going to track me down. I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep up my pleasant facade if I’m faced with a full-on Trips tantrum. Something about his anger makes my own rise, the need to fight back overtaking my natural aversion to making waves.
It doesn’t hurt that he seems to like it when I fight back.
I open his message. It’s simple. Of course it is.
We need to talk
No punctuation, no explanation. Nothing to help me figure out how to deal with him. I slapped him. Not that he didn’t have it coming, but that’s a part of me I wish I’d never accessed.
Why?
Two can play at this, Trips.
His answer comes back faster than I expect.
Where r u
“For fuck’s sake,” I say, pushing my phone and Coke across the counter, making enough space to cradle my head in my arms on the pass-through. Emma finally looks up, my outburst enough to break her concentration.
“What’s up?”
I shake my head, still burrowed in my arms. “Trips wants to talk to me.”
“What about?”
Standing up, I grab my phone and Coke, curling up on the couch next to Emma. “I’m not sure, but…ugh….He probably wants to talk either about us sexting the other weekend, me slapping him, or my half-assed attempt at dating all his friends at the same time. I don’t know what I’m doing, Emma! The only thing I know for sure is that I’m making everything worse.”
Emma pops the cap onto her highlighter, her book hitting the coffee table with a thud. “Wait. Back up. You were sexting? With Trips ? I…I…what?”
I giggle, her confusion palpable. “Umm…yeah. It just kind of happened. Then I said something about including the other guys, you know, jokey like, and I guess he’s not interested in my ‘all the dicks no pricks’ plan.”
Emma’s laugh is bright bells. “First off, you named your dating plan? And second, you named it that?”
“It seemed witty and accurate.”
Emma’s laugh morphs into a cackle. “Oh my God, Clara. You’re precious! I, I don’t even know what to say. Have you told anyone else the name?”
I shake my head, a smile forced out by her laughter. It is a pretty silly name .
“I need the complete story. You were sexting and somehow it led to you slapping him? You? Clara—who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”
I cover my face with my hands. “I just lost it. He was talking about the other guys, something about how they were sniffing around me like stray dogs after a bitch in heat, and I totally lost it.”
“He said that? About you? About his best friends?”
I nod, her anger moderating my own, verifying that while my reaction might have been a bit much, the root of it wasn’t wrong.
“He deserved that slap. Has he apologized?”
I shake my head. “No. Me neither.”
Emma ties off her half-done braid, her pink ends a long tail over her shoulder. “Okay. Last thing. You’re involved with all of them now? Since when?”
“Ugh! I don’t really know. I totally made out with RJ on the dance floor in Chicago.”
“Rewind. I thought you were in Chicago with Walker?”
“I was, but Sunday was his birthday, so RJ drove out to help celebrate. Oh, and to bring me a fake ID.”
Emma tugs her braid. “How have I missed so much?”
“It doesn’t feel real, so I guess I haven’t said much about it.”
“You made out with RJ while celebrating Walker’s birthday?”
I shrug. “He was totally into it. In fact, he was directing it.”
Emma blinks, one hand on her bottom lip. “Clara, was that as hot as I imagine?”
I chew on my lip, nodding. It was hot. So hot that I might have used that night a few times to get myself off this week. It’s not like anyone else is helping in that department right now.
Emma takes a few breaths. “Damn, Clara. The closest I’ve ever gotten to anything like that was that one party where I made out with both Nate and Lana—but they were like, almost two hours apart.”
I giggle, remembering her giddy grin at the end of that night. “What ever happened with Lana?” I ask, slightly chagrined that I never followed up on that.
Emma glares at the door. “We hooked up a few times, but she was looking for something more serious and I, well, I wasn’t.”
“Nothing wrong with having some adventures,” I say, wondering how we switched roles. I’m the one who needs encouragement to try new things, and Emma’s the one who needs to be held back. This conversation has totally shifted our dynamic.
I reach across and take her hand, and she shakes out of it. “Sorry. That was a messy breakup. Back to you and your issues. Trips wants to meet? And maybe hash out this sexy mess you’ve found yourself in?”
I squeeze her hand, letting her know that I’m here if she wants to share exactly how messy that breakup was.
My phone buzzes, and I groan. Emma snags the phone off the coffee table. “It’s Trips again.”
Holding my hand out for the phone, I flop back onto the couch.
Pleas e
My heart stutters. Did Trips just ask nicely? I mean, not actually, but nicely for him?
Typing and deleting, I finally settle on the answer he’s looking for. I can deal with the rest later.
I’m at Emma’s studying. Should I meet you somewhere?
Be there in 10
I roll my eyes. Emma raises an eyebrow. “Is that happy exasperation?”
Nabbing my book from the coffee table, I shove it into my backpack. “I think I’m done studying for the night.”
Emma glares at her textbook. “I wish I could say the same.”
I laugh. “Are you still planning on taking over your dad’s clinic? Are you sure sick cows are your calling?”
She smirks. “You’re forgetting the baby cows. And baby horses, and baby barn cats and baby farm dogs. I’ll get all the cutest fur babies.”
“I’ll have to come visit you when you’re a hotshot vet and give all those fur babies cuddles.”
“Yeah, between taking down the bad guys, FBI babe.” Emma winks.
I chew my lip, zipping the last of my stuff into my bag. “Of course.”
Emma pulls her textbook back into her lap. “Unless you’ve decided against the FBI? ”
Damn best friends and their uncanny ability to see what you’re trying to hide. “I haven’t decided against the FBI. I just, I don’t know. I’m wondering what else is out there.”
“There’s an entire world out there, and as many ways to exist in it as there are bodies on the planet, Clara. You’re smart. You’ll figure out where that big brain of yours belongs.”
“What about if my brain and heart disagree?”
She looks at me, really looks at me. “Only you can decide what fits. No one else. What makes your heart sing? What makes your brain excited to do the next thing? Where do those two intersect? That’s where you belong. And it might change. But that’s how you calibrate.”
I bend down, giving my best friend the biggest hug. “How did you get so wise?”
“I listened at too many doors as a little kid.”
I laugh, scooping up my bag and my Coke, heading to the door. It would be just like Trips to drive over to pick me up, then leave because I wasn’t waiting at the door for him. “Love you.”
“Love you, too. Fill me in later?”
Saluting, I head down to wait for Trips, knowing that whatever happens next, it won’t be nearly as chill as my night so far.