Face Value
Sara
“This place is amazing.” Hope’s blue eyes are wide as she takes in the entryway. Madison steps in behind her and I close the door. I’ve been in houses like this my whole life, but this is a beautiful one. Maybe it would work for us ten years from now, but right now, it feels like overkill.
“It’s lovely, Sara.” Madison touches my arm with a smile.
I blow out a breath and release a little self-conscious laugh. “It’s a lot. We’ve barely moved in and it might be temporary. But it’s home for now. Do you want the tour?”
They both nod.
I lead them through the main floor, the second floor with the guest bedrooms and the primary suite. Then I take them up to the third floor and show them the living room.
“The guys each have a bedroom up here.” I lead them over to the sofa and chairs and take a seat. “There’s a half bath over there, but the two bedrooms on either side share Jack and Jill bathrooms.”
Madison nods. “So, they want their own spaces?”
“Yeah.” I pick at my shirt, worried that might be the wrong move. “That’s okay, right?”
I really don’t know how this whole thing is supposed to work. And neither do my guys. They weren’t like Madison’s men who had been sharing women for years. We just kind of fell into this.
“Of course.” Madison glances at the doors surrounding the living area. “Some of my best nights are spent alone with one of my guys.”
“The others don’t get jealous?” In the beginning, Wyatt’s demands seemed to be due to jealousy. Wanting to know how many times I came? I’m surprised he didn’t want to know who and in what position. My face heats, because he had asked for that information before everything that happened with Peter.
Madison laughs. “Not really, but they were used to sharing before me.”
I tuck my feet up under me on the couch. “Do you mind if I ask you some kind of personal questions?”
“Not at all. Our experiences are unique. I don’t know of anyone else having a relationship with four guys.” Madison glances at Hope. “If you don’t—”
“No, please, I’m all ears.” Hope smirks. “I haven’t really dated much since the kidnapping, but I’m all for hearing about your sex lives. Especially since I’ve only managed to land guys who are very vanilla.”
Madison flushes pink. “Me too, until my guys.”
“I was a virgin so...” I shrug.
“Lucky.” Hope laughs.
Madison reaches over and touches Hope’s arm. “Your guy is out there. Maybe he just hasn’t found you yet.”
“Or my brother has scared him away.” Hope rolls her eyes. “Sometimes having a protective older brother is the worst.”
I nod. “Mine kept his best friends away from me for years. But it wouldn’t have been right to date just one of them, and without Drew to push us in the right direction, who knows what would have happened?”
“What you’re saying is I should just find a bunch of guys and make them my own personal harem?” Hope winks.
I smirk at Madison. “I mean, it seems to work.”
“Maybe I could hold a contest.” Hope grins. “You think my brother would let me use his bar for that?”
We laugh and it feels good. Everything has been so stressful here. I forgot how nice it is just to sit and talk with my friends.
When we settle down, I stand up. “I think if we’re going to talk sex, we should have some wine. Fortunately, Dante thought to bring up a few bottles and glasses until they can decide if they want to install a wet bar. If you’re okay with red?”
They both nod. I walk over to the cart currently acting as a bar.
“So this is going to be the place?” Hope asks. “It’s nice. Big, but nice.”
Shrugging, I gather the wineglasses and a bottle. “It’s weird because a few weeks ago I was just looking to get laid and now it feels like all these plans are being made for our future around me. It doesn’t help that the danger isn’t over yet. Ergo, the men watching the door.”
Madison nods and takes a glass from me. “Even once the danger is over, it’ll take time before they’ll feel comfortable not being with you.”
I pour the wine into Hope’s glass, then Madison’s, and fill mine before sitting down.
“Does it get better?” I meet her blue eyes. Both Madison and Hope went through hell. I basically had a nice vacation where I was locked in a room. If it got better for them, I know it will get better for me.
“It takes time.” Madison runs her fingertip along the rim of the glass.
“The guys were hesitant to even let me out of their sights for weeks. Blake was my shadow. Noah checked in on me constantly. Coop...” She blushes.
“He was wounded at first, but he didn’t let up.
Seth.” His name is soft on her lips. “He always takes care of me, but he wasn’t as obvious about it.
At first, I needed it, but eventually, we had to sit down and talk about it. ”
“Jason doesn’t like it when I go anywhere alone still.” Hope’s eyes meet mine. They swim with tears, but none fall. “It’s not the same because I don’t live with my brother, but he texts me every night and every morning. I think he’s ashamed he didn’t know I was missing earlier.”
Madison reaches out to take Hope’s hand. “I’m ashamed I didn’t realize sooner.”
“I’m just glad you questioned the texts from me.” Hope looks up at the ceiling and blinks back the tears. “Dammit, we’re supposed to be talking about hot sex, not trauma.”
I let out a harsh laugh. “Yeah, but my guys and I are kind of dealing with both.”
“We stayed together for a while after my incident.” Madison takes a sip of wine. “Same bed, but then we fell back into a pattern. I spend a night in each of their beds during the week and they all sleep in my bed on the weekends. We don’t always have sex, but I never sleep alone.”
“That sounds nice.” Hope sighs wistfully and takes a drink.
“We didn’t really have a pattern before,” I say. I didn’t want to choose and it wasn’t long before all hell broke loose. “Finn doesn’t want to schedule sex so...”
“Sex isn’t really scheduled with us either.
” Madison laughs. “The only thing we schedule is where I sleep. There are evenings we all fuck around before I go to sleep with one of them. There are other times I might have sex with two of them, and sometimes, they’ll both sleep with me even if it isn’t the other’s night.
Sometimes we’re just tired and snuggle in bed.
Then there are nights when it’s just two of us where we get to explore some of his kinks and mine. Which can be a lot of fun.”
My insides settle because that’s what the guys want. I loved sleeping with Dante, Wyatt, and Finn. We got to explore a little before everything went down, but I’m excited to learn more about each of my guys. Maybe this will be a good thing.
Madison reaches for the bottle to refill her wine. “I know we’ve talked a little about sex before, but if I overstep, let me know.” She leans back and laughs. “We might need a safe word.”
Hope and I laugh with her.
“I haven’t had to use mine yet.” I smile. Though I have had to pause things.
“I can’t wait to have a safe word,” Hope says, staring off through the windows.
“Honestly, I never had anyone to talk to about sex at all.” Madison looks at us.
“I was too preoccupied with doing what it took to get out of my small town and then get through college without mountains of debt. One of the things I couldn’t wait for when I hit the business world was finding a group of friends. ”
“In high school, I would have talked to friends about this. The things I told them...” I shake my head, embarrassed for not realizing those girls weren’t really my friends.
“Not that the friends I had were any good. Verity was a snake in the grass who used everything I told her against me, and our friends gladly followed her.”
“I’m really sorry that happened to you.” Hope reaches out and touches my arm. “I struggled to find friends in high school. We all grew up together and I was shy. I had a bully back then too. A girl who thought she was making herself big by trying to make me feel small.”
“Do you know where that girl is now?” Madison straightens. “Because we could have a word with her. Sara slapped her bully.”
I grin, remembering how satisfying it was. And the look on Verity’s usually smug face was priceless. “It was amazing.”
Hope shakes her head and smiles. “She’s not worth it. I’m just glad I have friends like you guys now.”
“Me too. Speaking of friends...” I tap my fingernail against my glass. “Since I’ve been out of the loop, what’s happening with Nan and Kayla? Are they actually dating or is this a friendship thing?”
I try not to bounce in my seat, but it’s kind of amazing they’re hitting it off at all.
Madison looks at Hope, who shrugs.
“We don’t know,” Madison says. “There seems to be a spark, but Kayla just got out of her relationship with Bea. And Nan seems a little gun-shy.”
I nod, thinking of her date with Dante.
“Her parents don’t support her being gay.” I blow out a breath. “If my mom thought I was gay, within a few weeks she’d have me set up with every girl she could find. The woman doesn’t care who I marry as long as I get married.”
“How does that work now?” Hope looks between the two of us. “It’s still only legal to marry one guy, but you have four.”
Madison glances at the magnificent engagement ring Coop put on her finger when they were fake engaged. She’s never taken it off though. Does that mean she’ll marry Coop when the time comes or is it just his way to claim her?
“We’re still early in our relationship.” Madison looks up at both of us.
“Coop would have married me yesterday. But I don’t know if I could marry just one of them.
Seth has been researching how to make a relationship like ours at least legally sound.
That way if someone is sick or injured, we’re on the list first.”
“Would you marry one of them if you could?” I ask, thinking about Dante. Maybe it’s not for the greatest reason, but I love him and would do anything to protect him. I don’t know how the others feel about it. There wasn’t a lot of talking after I mentioned it last night.
“I’d marry all of them if I could.” Madison laughs softly. “But I think just knowing we’re in a committed relationship is enough right now. Could you imagine the hyphenated surname?”
“I asked Dante to marry me.” I look down at my hands as if they’re suddenly fascinating.
“Yeah?” Madison asks. There’s curiosity but no judgment in her tone.
“Kayla would have married Dante in a heartbeat.” Hope finishes filling her wineglass. She glances over at me and her smile slips. “Oh, sorry, wine loosens my thinking. Did he say no?”
I blow out a breath. “His uncle has basically been pimping Dante out on socialite dates for business and personal reasons. Dante is certain his uncle wants to marry him off for some sort of gain.”
“Do people really do that?” Madison’s brows are furrowed.
“In our circles? Yes. It probably happens more than love matches.” I run a hand over my hair. “It’s usually done early and the couple gets to know each other so they can tell whether they’ll be compatible, but most of the time, it’s still a done deal.”
“But he can’t get married if he’s already married.” Hope’s eyes meet mine and I nod. She gets it.
“What do your other guys have to say about it?” Madison leans back.
“We didn’t really get to discuss it last night.” I shrug. “He told me he wouldn’t without talking to the others. Finn’s dad wanted us to get married when he thought I was carrying Finn’s baby.”
“You’re pregnant?” Hope’s eyes are wide as they fall to my stomach.
“No!” I hold up my hands. “It’s way too soon for that. He said it so Peter wouldn’t hurt me to get Tom back.”
“Phew,” Hope says. “Though you’d have enough hands to help with a kid when you started your career.”
For a second, I can almost picture a child with different parts of all the men I love.
But that would never happen. Each child would be me and only one of the men I love.
A devilish little boy with thick red hair and Wyatt’s dark eyes.
A playful girl with light brown hair and Drew’s smile.
A tall, quiet, handsome boy with blond hair and pale blue eyes.
And a mischievous little girl with green eyes like Finn’s and my red hair.
It’s a future I could buy into. Being with all of them. But right now… I sigh and lift my gaze to Madison’s and Hope’s.
“I’m scared to move out of my parents’ townhouse and in with the guys on a permanent basis.” The words make my chest feel heavy and a lump settles in my stomach. “I mean, this is what I should want, right?”
Madison sets her glass down and reaches for my hands.
She holds both of them and searches my eyes.
“You’ve been through a lot, Sara. Your relationship happened quickly, which is awesome, but that can be scary.
The last time you put yourself out there with someone was your friend in high school.
You can take a minute to yourself if you need to. ”
“I don’t want to disappoint my guys.”
“They’ll understand if you’re all open and honest about what you want. You might go back to your parents’ and be here again after a day, or maybe it will take you a week or a month or a year. But that’s okay too. You can take your time and not rush into this. Your guys will understand.”
“They do,” I say quietly. “They’ve said it, but what if… ”
“Your guys aren’t Verity, Sara.” Madison squeezes my hands. “They’ve been with you your whole life. They’re not going anywhere. You have time.”
I draw in a deep breath and release it. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”
She draws me into a hug. “Anytime.”
When I pull away, I grab the wine and empty it between all of our glasses.
“So.” I raise my eyebrows. “Can we talk positions?”