Chapter 8 #2
She froze, Angela’s words landing on her.
What does that even mean? A wave of defensiveness stirred within her, the need to justify, to explain.
Angela was observant; there was no denying that.
She had always had a way of seeing right through Nell.
But she was seeing something that wasn’t there.
Her rules and control were still, without a doubt, firmly in place when it came to Sarah.
“I really need to stop hanging around lawyers; you all have too many questions,” Nell said, slipping her hands into the pockets of her blazer, purposefully not answering Angela’s question.
Angela shrugged, with a look that managed to be both approving and challenging. “It’s part of the job.”
She was just about to say something else when Rowan reappeared. “The meet and greet is about to start. You’re needed over here.”
Perfect timing.
“Apologies, Angela. I need to go. I’ll have Rowan get some time for us to grab dinner soon.”
“Take care of yourself,” Angela said, squeezing her forearm gently before turning on her heel, leaving Nell with only her observation looping through her mind.
The next day, she found herself cocooned in a fluffy white robe, skin still dewy from the sauna she had just exited. The biting urgency that usually fluttered in her chest was, for the first time in weeks, quiet. She was finally starting to feel something closer to human again.
The spa itself was beautiful. Nestled away on a sleepy lavender farm, just like Rowan had said.
It was serene, with polished stone floors, the scents of eucalyptus and lavender hanging in the air.
Nell was thirty minutes into her facial and nearly asleep when Rowan’s spa concierge plan hit its peak: a hot stone massage that left her muscles feeling warm and slack.
She made a mental note to give Rowan a raise.
This had definitely been the right call today.
Nell settled into one of the oversized lounge chairs tucked into the far corner of the spa’s tranquil atrium, a glass-enclosed room with a sweeping view of the property.
She sipped gingerly from her teacup, looking out at the rows of lavender beyond the rain-streaked glass.
Nell had ended up going with lavender mint, a difficult choice given the extensive tea menu.
Gray, moody sky pressed against the windows as she listened to the pleasing sound of rain tapping lightly against the glass.
Her next appointment, a mineral soak, wasn’t for another thirty minutes.
Right now, nothing sounded better than sipping her tea, letting her mind go blissfully quiet.
She was inhaling the heady aroma when movement on the far side of the atrium caught her attention.
Voices, younger and far too animated for the peaceful setting, rose above the tranquil hush.
“Lily, please, you have to watch the stream with me this week,” one of them said. “Mother Goth is amazing. She does, like, these full Sims builds on a livestream, and she wears this sparkly cat mask the whole time. It’s iconic.”
Nell recognized the voice before she recognized the face. Wren Parker.
She appeared first, her height making her easily identifiable.
Her hands moved in expressive gestures as Lily Gallagher, Sarah’s daughter, caught up to her.
The girls were closely followed by two adults: one she instantly recognized as Jamie Lyons, and the other a blonde woman who looked just like Lily, who could only be Beth, Sarah’s ex-wife.
Nell stilled, the porcelain cup resting just shy of her lips, her gaze locked on the group as they passed by, unaware of her presence.
Beth turned her head to say something to Jamie, and Nell got a clear look.
Bright blue eyes. Fair skin dusted with freckles.
Something about her was so incredibly inviting.
It wasn’t hard to understand why Sarah loved her, at least on a surface level.
Beth was striking in that unassuming way.
There was a kind of calmness to her, a steadiness that—No. Don’t do that. Nell caught herself.
It wasn’t her place, and it certainly wasn’t her business, to dissect Sarah’s past relationships—to look at them like they were case studies in emotional patterning which she could use to form her strategies on.
Still, she had to acknowledge that seeing Beth was causing something to stir inside her.
Not jealousy—she didn’t do jealousy—but maybe curiosity?
A reminder that Sarah’s world was bigger than she remembered sometimes.
She took another sip of her tea, letting the warmth settle.
Beth’s voice called out. “Sar, you coming?”
Her eyes shot back toward the door to the changing room, and sure enough, there was Sarah, her robe cinched tightly around her waist, open just enough to show a tantalizing peek of collarbone.
“Yup, I’m right behind you. Just need a minute.” Sarah said it, but it didn’t sound like her. Not to Nell, at least. Her voice was missing something she couldn’t quite identify.
“Don’t take too long,” Beth said, as she and Jamie exited the atrium through the door to the tea bar.
She watched it happen—the moment Sarah’s gaze swept the room and landed on her like a sudden storm rolling in across a flat bay.
Nell expected surprise, maybe even irritation, but what caught her off guard was the way a dozen emotions chased each other across Sarah’s face—shock, confusion, annoyance, something wounded—before disappearing behind a carefully placed mask of poised composure.
Of course Sarah would be adept enough to pull herself together that fast. That was part of her brilliance. Sarah squared her shoulders and began walking toward Nell like she had every right to. And she did.
Nell stood, setting her teacup down with practiced elegance.
“Sarah,” she said warmly.
“Nell.” Sarah’s voice was calm, a little cold even, and underneath it, she could hear the thread of something else. Restraint?
“I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” Nell said, trying to read the space between Sarah’s expression and the words she wasn’t speaking.
“That makes two of us.” Sarah glanced around, lowering her voice. “I saw you before the girls did. Thought it might be best if I said something.”
Nell tilted her head. “And what would that something be?”
Sarah hesitated a moment before continuing, “This thing between us, whatever it is we’re doing, it doesn’t happen around Lily. That’s not a line I blur. Understood?”
Sarah’s statement wasn’t delivered in a raised voice or as a threat. It was a clear, quiet boundary that landed like a weight in the middle of Nell’s chest. She didn’t recoil, but something in her did pull back as she nodded carefully. “Understood.”
Sarah studied her for a long moment, eyes narrowing, almost like she was assessing her. “You didn’t tell me you were in town.”
“No, I didn’t,” she admitted.
“And I haven’t heard from you in a few weeks,” she said, quieter this time. “Why?”
Nell paused before gesturing vaguely around them. “Because I’ve been busy. I needed some quiet, and, truthfully, I didn’t think I had the energy to be around you when I’ve been feeling so depleted from my work. You deserve more than my divided attention.”
Sarah blinked. It wasn’t the answer she expected, and Nell hadn’t planned to say it, but that didn’t make it any less true.
“Besides,” Nell added, “I didn’t anticipate running into you like this. I thought you lived in the city.”
“No, I live here,” Sarah said.
Her eyebrows lifted in surprise. “You live here?”
Sarah gave a small, dry smile. “Yes, Nell. I live on an island. With trees, and ferry rides. Try not to look so shocked.”
“I’m not shocked, just surprised.” Nell refused to flinch at the shortness in Sarah’s tone. She really didn’t think there was a need for it. Was Sarah annoyed she hadn’t let her know she was in town?
Sarah tilted her head. “So, spa day?”
“Spa day.” Nell smiled faintly.
Sarah nodded but didn’t say anything else as she looked over her shoulder in the direction of the tea room.
“And you?” Nell asked. “You’re here with . . . all of them?”
Sarah sighed and leaned slightly against the edge of the chair beside her. “It was supposed to be just Lily and me—a girl’s day before gymnastics season picks up again. Then Lily wanted to bring Wren. Then Beth found out and invited herself, and Jamie got looped in.”
“You said yes to all of that?”
“You’re not the only one who can keep the peace when necessary,” Sarah said, with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
Nell studied Sarah, quietly taking in the way she held herself with a certain stoicism, but with a slight tiredness at the edges. She saw the hint of tension in her shoulders, the effort it took to keep everything in place, and she couldn’t help but wonder if that was a result of being around Beth.
“I’m sorry,” Nell said, after a pause. “For not telling you I was here.”
Sarah looked at her, her eyes clear. “Thank you.”
A moment passed between them.
“I should go,” Sarah said, looking again to the door her group had gone through. “They’ll notice I’m gone.” Nell nodded, but before Sarah turned to leave, she said, “And Nell?”
“Yes?”
Sarah’s voice softened. “You don’t have to disappear when you need quiet time or space. You can ask for it. I’d rather you do that than be questioning if I did something to upset you.”
Nell didn’t reply; she only watched as Sarah walked away.
That evening, Nell sat at the sleek dining table that doubled as her workspace in the hotel penthouse high above Downtown Seattle.
A legal pad was open in front of her, her laptop humming quietly at her side as she attempted to catch up on work that had fallen by the wayside.
But it was no use. She had been reading the same section of this report for the past thirty minutes, and all her brain wanted to do was revisit the rain-slicked spa atrium and the way Sarah’s gaze had locked on to hers from across the room.